#redcroach

[starlit-mansion]

oh no they're too cute

[insanity-jane]

Very Important 1AM conversation, part 2

(discussing red and croach’s future babies)

plautusp [1:08 AM] at least this time they're 99% sure neither baby is yours, sparks

tinycatfeet [1:08 AM] I mean, maybe

tinycatfeet [1:08 AM] who knows

plautusp [1:09 AM] with alien magic and science and shit flying all over

plautusp [1:09 AM] maybe one bit of sparks dna got in there somehow

plautusp [1:09 AM] from a stray eyelash

tinycatfeet [1:09 AM] like The Fly but slightly less gross

theshehulkproject [1:09 AM] the nanotech was just cramming all the human DNA it could find in there

unikirin [1:10 AM] A fucking eyelash baby

unikirin [1:10 AM] Sparks: "oh my god I made a baby with my eyelash"

plautusp [1:10 AM] his eye lash was on the cuff of her shirt and the nanotech just went for it

tinycatfeet [1:10 AM] dangit nanotech

unikirin [1:11 AM] It's a weird three way baby with all their dna

theshehulkproject [1:11 AM] Croach: "It is possible for a youngling to have more than two parents. And it appears that some of the DNA contained within this child is yours, Sparks Nevada."

unikirin [1:11 AM] Sparks you have to do the right thing and marry them both

theshehulkproject [1:11 AM] "I have tracked it."

unikirin [1:11 AM] Croach: "CONGRATULATIONS"

tinycatfeet [1:11 AM] “SURPRISE EVENT.”

theshehulkproject [1:12 AM] Sparks gets really excited, Croach gives a deep deep deep sigh

unikirin [1:12 AM] I burned my sandwich because of this conversation

tinycatfeet [1:12 AM] sorry

theshehulkproject [1:13 AM] maybe Sparks and Ginny raise the baby? or part of the baby? if jupitarian/sparks parentage isn't available

plautusp [1:13 AM] part of the baby

plautusp [1:13 AM] the arm

unikirin [1:13 AM] Red ain't giving up another kid

tinycatfeet [1:13 AM] “get your hands off my baby”

unikirin [1:13 AM] "It took my eyelash so"

tinycatfeet [1:13 AM] “don't you fucking steal my baby nevada”

unikirin [1:14 AM] "I mean it's a little bit mine too "

unikirin [1:14 AM] "Like an eyelash worth"

tinycatfeet [1:14 AM] DEATH GLARE

tinycatfeet [1:14 AM] it's the hormones

tinycatfeet [1:14 AM] also just her

theshehulkproject [1:14 AM] "Now that we know this is possible, Sparks Nevada, I would offer myself to you as what we designate s'uhro'gut."

tinycatfeet [1:14 AM] "pass"

tinycatfeet [1:15 AM] so mean

plautusp [1:15 AM] he doesn't need a baby that has more alien dna than human thank you

theshehulkproject [1:15 AM] "THIS IS A SERIOUS OFFER OF ONUS, SPARKS NEVADA"

tinycatfeet [1:15 AM] "PASS"

[insanity-jane]

Visit Original Link

for dog-face-painting

Red and Croach being dorks in Malware Wars. featuring laughter sounds.

[insanity-jane]

reacting to plautus' smoochy redcroach fanart

me: fuck this and fuck you

where are they

plautus: probably in the town square why not

me: yeah sure. I'd buy that

plautus: hahaha

me: sounds like something they'd do/have already done

plautus: oh yeah I'm sure

pause to enjoy their gelato in the shade, 10 mins later, eskimo kisses being had in public for 15 minutes

no one thinks twice of it, just another day with the marshal and her deputy

me: the Worst

plautus: the Best you mean

the Berst maybe

me: I will accept Berst.

[insanity-jane]

me: imagine sometime post-Crisis on Infinite Marses where Sparks goes back to the marshal station to pick up something he forgot and he walks in on Red and Croach like "are you making out on my DESK" and Red's like "get out of my office"

shannon: YES

me: this may have happened more than once

shannon: "SERIOUSLY is this all you guys do in here??"

shannon: "not ALL" *eyebrows*

shannon: Sparks wordlessly turns and leaves

me: he came for his world's best marshal mug but he doesn't want it anymore

shannon: everything in that room is forever tarnished

[unikirin]

Teenaged Red and Croach hangin’ out and gettin’ cosy! This one’s for camomility (because she made me a bow tie (because she’s awesome)).

[starlit-mansion]

Guess tonight is "get whiskey buzzed and spend 2 hours shading a sketch of your OTP" night. Wheeeee! There needs to be more cute af Red/Croach art in this fandom, tho, dammit. I'm not used to ships I like actually being canon. It's bizarre.

[insanity-jane]

Cactoid Jib and RedCroach for the ask meme please

I’m already angry at myself for reblogging this because it’s so cute I’m probably going to have a heart attack half way through and die

The umbrella, when it rains - -Croach, because he’s taller, and also because he is polite. -And probably Jim because of the same reasons.

The popcorn at the cinema - -Croach-Jib(I don’t have a cute reason)

The baby, when it cries - -BOTH IT’S A RACE -I legitimately almost wrote “I feel like Jim likes babies more than Jib” but no it would be Jib he must help his precious babies 

The ice cream gelato cone, when they share - -Croach, because of course. His favorite flavor is pistachio because it is empirically the single greatest flavor.-Probably Jib? I can see him being enthusiastic about desserts. 

The remote, when they sit down to watch a movie - -Red-Jim(I can’t think of a cute one for this either I am bad at this)

The basket, when they go shopping - -Croach-Jim, because if Jib has it he’ll put a bunch of stuff in there they don’t need.

The door, on dates - Croach and Jim, because of the politeness thing.

The other’s hand, most often - -Croach and he’s kinda shy about it and it’s real cute (god just punch me in the face)-Jib is a strong proponent of hand holding, as you might imagine.

Their breath, upon seeing the other on their wedding day - I don’t think Croach or Jib need oxygen, so do they breathe at all? Anyway, probs the humans. Also fuck you for making me think about this. 

The camera, when they take pictures together - -Croach because his arms are longer. (also he has an Instagram)-Jib because he is super into selfies. Selfies and pictures of his babies.