Summary: The weight of unfinished grieving eventually drags Clementine down, and turns to Violet for help in getting closure + some cute AJ & Violet bonding.
It was a warm, slightly windy summer day, when Clementine shyly approached Violet, clutching her hat to her chest. Omar, Willy, and AJ were playing catch in the courtyard with the beach ball AJ scavenged. Violet was sitting beside Brody's grave, lost in her thoughts.
"Hey, Vi. I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt," Clementine stepped forward, her soft and sincere voice snapping Violet back into reality.
"No, it's okay." Violet pushed herself back up, instinctively placing her hands in her jean pockets. "What's up?"
Clementine's gaze dropped to Brody's headstone, a solemn expression across her face. "I, uh, was wondering if I could borrow your graveyard." Violet's eyebrows shot up at Clem's awkward wording, and a smirk crossed her face as Clementine started stammering. "Wait, no. That's not the word. Um, I want to bury something. For Lee."
"Of course you can, Clem." Violet gave a reassuring smile to Clementine, who's tight grip on her hat loosened a little. "C'mon, we can pick a pretty spot."
Violet led her towards the end of the graveyard, where a towering dogwood tree provided a small, shaded area, ground seemingly invisible under the layer of fresh flowers that had fallen from the tree.
"Here." Clem whispered, "If that's okay."
"It's more than okay, Clem. I can make a headstone for him, if you'd like." Violet reached out to grab her free hand, giving a reassuring squeeze as she felt Clementine's hands shaking.
Clem nodded, a sad smile across her face before she let her fist unclench, taking in a deep breath. "That'd be really nice.. Thank you, Vi."
"It's no problem, Clem. Everyone deserves a burial, a funeral.. Especially Lee. I have a lot to thank him for." Violet watched as her girlfriend smiled to herself, happy that she could crack her somber mood.
"I can have it ready by tonight. We can have a little ceremony for him, too. It'll be really nice and you could tell us stories about him i you wanted to-"
Violet was interrupted by Clementine throwing her arms around her, her face safely rested in the crook of her neck.
"Thanks, Vi." Clem happily breathed out. "I don't know if I'd want to bother everyone else with it, though. Maybe just me, you, and AJ. If that's okay?"
Violet smiled to herself, wrapping her arms around Clementine's waist. She looked over her shoulder to see an enthusiastic AJ, happily holding the sides of his face at the sight of Clementine being cheerful. Violet ducked her head, an embarrassed smile on her face as she backed away from Clem.
"I'm, uh, gonna get started on the headstone. I'll see you in a bit." Violet shyly held her arm to her side and started towards the greenhouse, eyes averting AJ as she passed by him.
"Hey, goofball. What are you smiling about?" Clem knelt down to be parallel to AJ's eye level. AJ shrugged, his eyes landing on the hat that Clementine was holding onto. "Look, tonight we're having a little... ceremony for Lee. I know you don't like funerals, but this really isn't one. You don't have to come if you don't want to, I'm sure you'd much rather be playing with Tenn."
AJ cocked his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed. "I thought he died a long time ago."
"I, yeah. He did. I just, I think I'd really like to celebrate his memory. I haven't felt... safe in such a long time. Even before you, I was alone and running. I didn't even really have time to reflect on Lee's death, but now.. It's different. Safe. I want some closure."
"Closure." AJ cautiously repeated, to which Clementine smiled and nodded. "We can 'closure' Lee. And it'll make you feel better?"
"I really think it will." Clem sighed to herself, looking down at the old and worn hat that was practically falling apart at the seams.
"Okay, I can do that." AJ beamed up at Clementine. She smiled back, then started tussling his hair.
"Thanks, goofball."
Violet had bribed Mitch into lending his skills to carve 'LEE' into the piece of wood that she managed to scavenge from the rubble outside of the school.
She had managed to get everything set up, the makeshift grave in place. The sun had set hours ago, the graveyard only being illuminated by the multiple lanterns that Violet had set up.
Clem sat herself down beside the shallow hole in the ground, clutching her treasured hat. Violet softly placed her hand on her shoulder, which sparked something in Clementine.
All the rage, the self-doubt, the sorrow, every single emotion that had built up since her loss came out through tears. Violet held her girlfriend in her arms, holding her up as she silently sobbed, tears hitting the bottom of the makeshift hole.
"Clem?" AJ had peered around the corner, expression full of worry and shock. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her cry.
"Don't worry, 'm fine." Clem stammered, "Come here." She outstretched her arm, pulling AJ close to her chest. He didn't resist at all, putting aside his ‘I'm not a kid anymore' act to bury his face into Clementine's shirt.
The three sat in silence for a while, both clutching onto Clem as if her life depended on it. Violet pulled a wet strand of hair away from Clementine's eyes, tucking it softly behind her ear.
"Fuck, I'm sorry." Clem suddenly reeled back, rubbing her eyes and blinking rapidly to try and cover her vulnerability. "I didn't think I'd just break down like this. I wanted to say some stuff. I wanted.." Clementine's voice hitched, her voice shaky while she sniffled.
"Hey, it's okay." Violet cupped Clementine's face in her hands, urging her to look into her eyes. "God knows how long you've had this weight on your shoulders. You can let go, Clem."
"This is part of closure, right?" AJ whispered, lifting his head up to meet the eyes of a girl he had viewed as a hero his entire life, now shaking in front of him.
"Yea," Clementine felt solace in the unintentional reassurance from AJ, and gave a breathy, unconvincing laugh. Her grip on her hat tightened as she "Yea, I guess it is, kiddo."
"What was he like?" Violet softly pressed. A smile brought on by happy memories washed over the original sadness of Clem's features.
Clementine lifted her head, a singular tear rolling down her chin. She raised her hand to wipe it away.
"Unbelievably kind. Just.. selfless. He risked his ass for me more times than I can count. He was human. He was handed the short stick every fucking turn of his life, but giving up just wasn't in his blood. Shitty people took advantage of his softness over and over again, but he kept it until the very end. He cared about people so fucking much. He cared about me so fucking much."
Clementine sniffled, her eyes watering not with sorrow, but with happy recollection.
"Hell, he'd probably be upset that I'm crying over him now." Clementine dryly laughed, going to wipe a tear from her eye before AJ tightened his grip on her arm.
Clementine sighed, staring down at the hat in front of her. It was worn, old and outdated. Not to mention it reeked. As much as she thought she wanted it safe and preserved, she couldn't go through with it. She couldn't let dirt and bugs collect in it. The only memento left of Lee, besides herself.
"I, uh, don't think I can." Clementine retracted, slowly shaking her head. "I really thought I'd be able to."
"You don't have to, Clem." Violet squeezed her arm in support. "If you don't want to."
Clementine let out a relieved breath, her muscles relaxing with a tension she'd been holding for years and years. She took the hat and softly hung it on the cross just above the 'LEE', as if she was placing it on top of Lee's head once again.
"Thank you for everything." Clementine sighed, pulling herself to her feet. "I've got lookout duty with Aasim in a bit. Vi, can you make sure AJ actually makes it to bed?"
AJ gave a sheepish smile, then latched onto Violet's leg. "She's gotta get me there first.”
Violet snorted, seemingly lifting her leg with ease. "I've carried Louis before, kiddo. This a piece of cake."
Clem happily shook her head, then leaned over to kiss Violet's cheek. AJ impatiently poked at his own cheek, to which Clem rolled her eyes, and knelt down to plant a goodnight kiss on AJ's signature dimple.
"Goodnight, guys. I'll see you in the morning." Clementine raised her hand to wave, then turned around to head towards the bell tower, leaving the hat, along with the weight of the past, behind her.
Violet looked down at AJ, still attached to her leg, and hoisted her leg, holding AJ high while they headed back toward the school. She waited until the door was shut behind her to express her exhaustion just from carrying AJ. Like a little gentleman, he hopped off.
"You didn't really carry Louis back, did you?" AJ raised his eyebrow, looking at the panting, faint mess in front of him.
"Well, not exactly. Ruby did, but I held his head and made sure it didn't bump into any trees." Violet yielded, gingerly smiling down at AJ, then winking. "For the most part."
AJ giggled to himself as Violet led him back towards he and Clem's room. They stopped at the door, and Violet put her hands on her hips, expecting AJ to put up a fight. Instead, she got a soft spoken sentence from a boy with a usually booming voice. One that completely caught her off guard.
"Hey, Vi?" She looked down at the kid beside her, puppy eyes turned up to maximum power. Oh, boy. She promised Clementine to make sure he got to sleep, but his puppy eyes were so damn convincing. They could even break Omar. "Could you stay with me until I fall asleep? Tenn said you do that for him sometimes."
Violet sighed in relief, and nodded. "Yea, of course."
AJ's face lit up instantly, and he eagerly climbed into his bed, pulling the cover up to his neck. Violet pulled a stool from the closet and placed it next to his bed, leaning against the frame. AJ didn't close his eyes, just staring directly above him, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.
"AJ, you okay?" Violet asked, a concerned tone in her voice as she got up and put her hand over his forehead. No fever.
"I'm fine, Vi. Just not ready to go to bed."
"Why not?"
"Clem usually blows out the candle, and then I can fall asleep." AJ recalled, sitting upright in his bed.
Violet nodded, then knelt down to blow out the candle on the bedside table. "Is that alright?”
"Yea, thank you." AJ's voice was washed over with an overwhelming sense of tired, as he flopped back down onto his pillow.
Violet smiled at the content kid in front of her, then turned to head towards the door, quietly picking up the stool and setting it down in front of AJ’s desk.
She couldn’t help but still be nervous around him, as he always seemed to pop up when she and Clementine were left alone. As dumb as it sounded, Violet wanted his approval. She wasn’t as good with kids as Louis or Ruby was, but tried her best to show how much she cared about both Clem and AJ.
Ever since they got here, she felt the want for a family that she’d tried so desperately to push deep down. She knew that if it came down to it, she’d do anything to keep them both safe. It was scary, but also freeing after so many years of detaching herself from the people around her.
Violet’s gaze landed on a new scrap of paper on top of the desk, still fresh with crayon shavings. She lightly brushed away the colorful shavings, and looked down at AJ’s newest creation. It was indisputably childish and adorable, even having the signature sun in the corner of the paper. Three stick figures sat in the center, all with matching smiles.
The one with curly hair in a short ponytail and a cap was obviously Clementine. The smallest one, in the center, had AJ’s hair and Disco Broccoli shirt. The last one had straight blonde hair, and horrible, almost diagonal posture. Violet slapped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing.
Welp, accurate. She thought to herself, then looked over the drawing again. The three figures were holding hands in the courtyard. Her eyes fixated on the messy caption on the bottom of the paper.
‘FAMILEE’ by Alvin Junior
Her eyes immediately welled up, and she quietly stepped away from the desk, making sure that the wooden floor didn’t creak under her feet. She smiled to herself and looked back over her shoulder at the half-asleep AJ.
"Goodnight, AJ."
"G'night, Vi."
Just as Violet's hand rested on the door frame and she was about to leave, AJ's tired voice would pipe up once again. "Vi?"
"Yea, AJ?"
"You're really cool. That’s why we love you."
Violet's heart jumped up to her throat, as she involuntarily placed her hand on her chest to check for a pulse. A delighted smile crossed her face, as she nervously tapped on the wooden door frame.
"You're pretty cool yourself, AJ. Get some sleep, okay?" Violet tried to mask the overwhelmingly happy tone of her voice, but failed miserably. She quietly shut the door behind her, and leaned against it for a couple seconds.
Violet nervously fiddled with the loose seams at the bottom of her jacket, smiling down at the dirty wooden floor. After a couple seconds of contemplation, she pushed herself away from the wall, figuring she'd head out and keep Clem company during her lookout shift.
chapter 12 of "the softest echo" is liveeeee baby. yeah soooo we definitely took a wrong turn trying to get to Fluff City and got lost in the Whump Woods...
