Chatting with the bestie and a few other folks today which has put shippy things into my brain. So here's a lil thing about Meiko & romantic relationships (primarily set in main verse but can be applied to all bc she's the same person at her core).
As a child, from her earliest memory, she is expected to take care of her family. Even before her brother is adopted, she is pretty much the same size as her adoptive Lalafell mother, who uses a crutch. So she's already pretty much helping around the house and reaching for things and carrying things her mother cannot. Her father, jovial as he is, often drinks all day at the tavern and she has to physically carry him home on her back some days!
And then here comes this feral little Miqo'te boy who doesn't know how to socialize and bites people. And they take him in (Meiko specifically brings him inside!) and whose responsibility is it to look after him? Meiko's.
And it goes on like this until ARR, when A'kihiko is 19 and Meiko is 24. Has she had crushes? Yes. Have peopled flirted with her? Of course. But Meiko's identity is so enmeshed her family that the idea of having something or someone just for herself is foreign. Her only experience with sexuality is the bawdy tavern songs and her sweet neighbors who prostitute themselves out of their own home, often with the windows open. It's not that sex is dirty to her, per se, but it has a feeling of invasiveness to it. Like something that everyone finds out about.
So, she has no romantic experience by the time ARR begins. Then, she's quickly scouted to be a dancer. Even if it's not the intent, DNC quests start in La Noscea. The crowd isn't just appreciating the art of the dance, they are hooting and hollering for scantily clad ladies. And Meiko, being a Viera, is unavoidably viewed as 'exotic'. People find her attractive, for sure, but it's all based on the physical. She's got long legs and her tits are out, why wouldn't they cheer when she does a little twirl?
So at this point, Meiko has only ever been a Daughter, a Sister, and a Performer. NOW let's toss her into the MSQ. Even before she becomes a 'Warrior of Light', she is once again prioritizing her position as a Sister. Her role is to protect her brother. And then, once she joins, she is a Scion! She puts her life on the line and makes sure her allies are OK and fights the bad guys and that's her new identity!
The closest thing she's had to doing something for herself is being a dancer (which again, she didn't initially choose -- Nashmeira got her), and now that is employed by the Scions for their mission. The only thing she does for herself throughout the MSQ most days is go to the Gold Saucer, play Triple Triad, and drink. She's not unhappy per se, but there is so little room for her to set down the roles she's been given and just be herself. Mainly because she doesn't even know that's an option!
Her self-esteem is especially ground into the dirt in ARR and leading through the SHB, although it gradually (VERY gradually) builds over time. Meiko does not believe she is smart enough or strong enough or good enough to be where she is. She didn't join the Scions to protect Eorzea like everyone else; she joined it to look after her brother, who bought into the cause. She doesn't know anything about aether or Garlemald or eikons -- it builds an impostor syndrome in her, a bit, which is only multiplied after the Bloody Banquet.
Anyone else, especially Minfilia, could have -- should have escaped in her stead. But at the same time, she would never give up that place of escaping beside her brother because she doesn't want to. And she feels bad and selfish over all that. It's that same issue again, when Haurchefant takes that fatal blow in place of Hiko -- she mourns him, but she is grateful that Hiko wasn't killed in his place. And again, holy shit what a horrible person she is to even think that!
She is also so keenly attuned with her 'flaws' and why someone might not want to bother with her. Her crush on Yugiri, which never reaches beyond her own mind, is a perfect example of this. She recognizes Yugiri has much higher priorities, understandably, whether it be ensuring the Doman refugees are safe or liberating her homeland. And whether one reads Yugiri's devotion to Hien as romantic or not, it doesn't matter. Meiko keeps her mouth shut and accepts her romantic feelings as unrequited. And that is a flaw of hers, don't get me wrong; Meiko absolutely has to learn to speak up for herself, which is what happens throughout Shadowbringers. So, shipping with her is a bit easier after that, at least... but again, then her insecurity is 'why would I ask someone to love me when I could be called away or die fighting some gods on any given day?'
Meiko is always going to be the attentive, considerate friend and older sister figure. That is who she is at her core, for better or worse, and that is shown in ALL of my threads. All of her impostor syndrome, all of her guilt and poor self-esteem is soothed when she can make someone else feel safe. Because if she can prevent anyone else from ever feeling the way she constantly feels, then maybe that give her some purpose. (See: her treatment of every underage NPC she comes into contact with -- the twins, Ryne, Rielle, etc.)
A relationship would cross into romantic territory only when that partner offers that level of attention and consideration both in return and without prompting. Flirting is wonderful and it will fluster her and make her feel shy, but again, she often attributes that to people just attracted to her body. One truly needs to be consistent over a period of time to ensure she doesn't write it off as a passing physical fancy, or just playful boredom. Her imposter syndrome (and later, concerns about attaching to someone when she has so much PROTAGONIST DESTINY/DANGER around her) would make her hesitate at first. Self-defeat is a defense mechanism that the partner will have to conquer in their own way. It definitely isn't impossible, and Meiko can fall hard really quickly once she feels secure, but it takes time!
She has to feel like she is perceived as a woman, not just a Performer or a Scion or a Warrior of Light. Titles especially make her cringe; even being addressed as Mistress Mochikoko made her want to curl up and die throughout HW. No special treatment! Just to have her be seen underneath all the roles and responsibilities and protagonist fame.
Meiko has so much to offer in a romantic ship, but she really does get in her own way a lot of the time. I think that's what I enjoy about the road there, however, because it can manifest and be solved in a variety of ways depending on the other muse.
