yk i wish i could just join a cult sometimes
cause then i wouldnt rlly have to think abt anything just do whatever im told to whether thats praying or anything else
when i was in grade 10 i took an intro to psych class and we talked abt cults and the risk factors of someone joining them (history of being abused, low self esteem, etc) and i had every single trait
sometimes i fantasize abt finding out abt a new church and going to it and it turning out that its like the cult in farcry 5 (but more toned down) cause it would be easier than my current existence of constantly having to make choices and thinking and hurting
id kill to be able to just give myself to a church and God even if it meant i had to isolate myself and destroy myself
maybe thats why i want to join the army cause i could just be a soldier a tool not a person wouldnt have to make choices just have to follow orders
