Snowells Week 2021 Day 5: Darkside AU
Breathe, just breathe, Caitlin thought to herself as she tried to calm down. The last 24 hours had been stressful and she had every right to be upset given the circumstances but she knew if she didn’t calm down now then there would be another incident. No need to freeze over her makeshift lab. Again.
After she calmed down she looked at the mess that she had made, a potential cure ruined on accident. The want to cry was overwhelming but she stopped herself because she knew it wouldn’t change anything. She took one last deep breath and got to work on cleaning everything carefully.
Glass was swept and chemicals were meticulously wiped away. She checked the surrounding area once. Then twice. And a third time for good measure. It was in this third sweep that she saw something small under her desk, a few stray dots from the now ruined cure. She cleaned it up quickly and got up to throw away the trash in her hands, only a few inches from the appropriate waste containers when she heard the quick sound of a whoosh and then the continuous sound of vibrations behind her.
“Hello Caitlin,” a voice behind her said, causing her to still. Despite the distortion, she knew who it was. Don’t panic, she thought to herself, as a sudden chill began to spread across the nape of her neck. She didn’t know why he was here but she would be damned if she let him be the reason she lost control. Slowly, she turned to face him, mustering up as much courage as she could before looking at him.
“Thawne,” she responded, grateful that her voice came out even and steady.
As she faced him he slowly shifted away from the distorted version of himself, smiling as she acknowledged his presence. They stood in silence for one long moment, staring each other in the eyes. As the nanoseconds ticked by, Caitlin could feel a wave of emotions starting to swarm her as she looked at him. In fact, she was starting to get pissed off. It had been months since he had left and now he was back, as arrogant as ever. He must have noticed her change in demeanor despite how much she tried to keep her face neutral because he cocked his head ever so slightly and started to outright grim at her. Not wanting to give him any more pleasure in her discomfort she broke eye contact with him, returning to her task of disposing of the trash in her hands.
Surprisingly he let her move away from him but he did follow her, staying far enough away to allow her to maintain her personal space but close enough to see everything she did. She placed her trash in the appropriate containers and then went to a nearby sink to wash her hands. His choice to remain silent during the entirety of this set her on edge but it did allow her a chance to try to calm down, although not as much as she would have liked.
“What are you doing here?” she finally bit out as she turned off the water, glancing at his reflection in the mirror above the sink.
“Oh I was just in the neighborhood, thought I would drop by and see how you were doing,” he stated nonchalantly, a smirk playing on his lips as he stepped slightly closer to her. As she quickly dried her hands she made the executive decision to not look at him, instead, she chose to focus on the ground.
“Well, everything is fine here so no need to stick around,” she said as she made her way towards her workspace but Thawne stepped directly in front of her, blocking her way.
“Are you sure about that?” he asked, a hint of irritation in his voice.
“Yes,” she replied simply, still continuing to ignore his gaze, “Everything is completely fine.”
“That’s not what I’ve heard,” he said as he reached a hand towards her to lift her head up. He let out a huff of annoyance as she still refused to meet his eyes but seemed to relax ever so slightly when he realized she wasn’t going to move away from his touch. As much as she hated him she couldn’t find it in herself to pull away, instead, she leaned into the gentle burn his fingertips left on her skin.
“From what I hear you’ve been feeling a bit... cold.”
Of course. Of course, he knew.
“A little,” she admitted, a prickling sensation beginning to form all over her body, “Nothing I can’t get rid of.”
“And why would you want to do something like that?” he asked softly as he slowly leaned in closer to her. She turned ever so slightly in his grip and shut her eyes.
“Don’t pretend to care. We both know you don’t.”
She felt his thumb stroke against her cheek, wetness smearing against her cheek. When had she started crying?
“Nobody needed to,” she began as she finally looked at him, animosity in her eyes, “It was pretty evident when you lied to me.”
As she met his gaze she saw a mix of concern and hurt and finally, her anger started to spill out of her. He didn’t get to be concerned, and he most certainly didn’t get to be hurt after all the damage he caused. She finally pulled away from him, moving as far away as she could.
“Don’t,” she cut him off, “All you’ve ever done was lie and manipulate me into helping you.”
“I don’t know why you thought it was a good idea to come here and mess with me-”
“Then why are you here?” she yelled, “What possible reason could you have for coming back after all this time? You got everything you wanted! You got to go home! What else could you possibly want?”
A gust of wind washed over her face and suddenly he was in front of her, holding her hands in his. She tried to pull away but his grip was too strong.
His hands started to vibrate and suddenly her hands started to feel warm. She had been too upset to notice that she was having another incident. As the frost melted away, tears welled up in her eyes as guilt washed over her. She lost control. Again.
She closed her eyes and tried to relax, to calm herself down like she had so many times before, but she couldn’t stop the wave of emotions and memories she had been pushing down for so long. Thawne’s betrayal and subsequent victory, the team splitting apart, the horrifying reveal of her own powers, and the intense loneliness she had felt ever since everything fell apart.
She had been so immersed in her thoughts and feelings that she hadn’t noticed that she had become enveloped in a sudden warmth. It took her a moment to realize that Thawne had pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her as he vibrated, to give her as much warmth as possible. She heard something that sounded like a low rumble as he held her, most likely something he was saying, but for the life of her, she couldn’t tell what as a wave of exhaustion hit her.
“I’m- I’m so tired,” she whispered, the last of her tears falling down her face, as she clung on to him. Slowly the sound of his vibrations dissipated and she gently untangled herself from him, her mind a sea of confusion.
“I know you don’t trust me,” he began, taking a second to exhale, “I don’t expect you to trust me. But I didn’t come here to hurt you. I wanted to offer my help with your powers. You can be powerful if you wanted. Or you could get rid of them. That choice is up to you. But Caitlin... there’s no reason we can’t both have what we want.”
Ever so gently, he reached out a hand to her. It wasn’t a threat or an intimation tactic, just an open hand, an offer, but it was somehow the scariest thing Caitlin had ever faced in her life. A choice. She hesitated and after what felt like a lifetime, she reached for his hand.
Months after Thawne’s betrayal, Caitlin finds herself developing powers of her own. Upon his return to the past, Thawne offers his help. With no one else to turn to and no luck in developing a cure, Caitlin hesitantly accepts Thawne’s offer. As the two work together, old memories and feelings rise to the surface and the creation of something new begins to form. Something that neither of them will ever want to lose.
