do u think the Reynolds pamphlet just went like:
Alex: I had frequent meetings with her, most of them in my own house.
Jeffmads: haha u cheated! Ur life is over!
Alex: She first escorted me to bed on Monday the 28th, while Eliza and the children were absent on a visit to their father.
jeffmads: he ain’t never gon be president now!
Alex: she was wearing a red lace dress and three inch heels.
jeffmads: *raises eyebrow* always the writer
Alex: also indigo-black eyeshadow and the dolce vita pink exclusive shade of lipstick, an honourable special mention from this week’s edition vogue,
Jeffmads: …oddly specific…
Alex: and did I mention her hair was in a messy updo? Spectacular and effortless, all thanks to Betty’s Extensive Hair Shampoo, available for only $3.50 a bottle, two for $5 at a special discount!
jeffmads: is this a fucking advert-
Alex: just apply once every morning between 4:20 to 4:45 am, leave in for three hours! Guaranteed to make him cheat! :)
Jeffmads: what-
Alex: (gotta make some money here I am so screwed might as well be sobbing over a new suit)














