Phoenix

Theatre kid+Greek Mythology nerd+Queer+Insane

[twinkdionysusoncrack]

hey yall so last night I was running out of toothpaste right? And then I forgot about it and went to sleep. And in my dream I was holding a full tub of toothpaste, and I was like ‘neat :)’, and then suddenly a bunch of geese burst into my bathroom. And they asked me if they could have the toothpaste bc they were hungry. But they were really polite about it. And also they were speaking German. I don’t speak German. And then I woke up. dREamS HAvE mEaNInG they say Apollo what the fuck.

[twinkdionysusoncrack]

do u think the Reynolds pamphlet just went like:

Alex: I had frequent meetings with her, most of them in my own house.

Jeffmads: haha u cheated! Ur life is over!

Alex: She first escorted me to bed on Monday the 28th, while Eliza and the children were absent on a visit to their father.

jeffmads: he ain’t never gon be president now!

Alex: she was wearing a red lace dress and three inch heels.

jeffmads: *raises eyebrow* always the writer

Alex: also indigo-black eyeshadow and the dolce vita pink exclusive shade of lipstick, an honourable special mention from this week’s edition vogue,

Jeffmads: …oddly specific…

Alex: and did I mention her hair was in a messy updo? Spectacular and effortless, all thanks to Betty’s Extensive Hair Shampoo, available for only $3.50 a bottle, two for $5 at a special discount!

jeffmads: is this a fucking advert-

Alex: just apply once every morning between 4:20 to 4:45 am, leave in for three hours! Guaranteed to make him cheat! :)

Jeffmads: what-

Alex: (gotta make some money here I am so screwed might as well be sobbing over a new suit)

[twinkdionysusoncrack]

[twinkdionysusoncrack]

Alas, it is a bloody battle between the shadows, the dregs of darkness that reign tranquility yet can offer nothing more than bare cold scraps and the bitterness of the east wind; against the sun, where the carnations of spring bloom and fields flourish, though the fierce glare of the fire upon your skin shall render your fall, as every martyr was once a warrior.

[twinkdionysusoncrack]

how dare tumblr call me untitled this is racist in some way I just gotta work out which

[cimpwimf]

i have the headcanon musical!Hamilton is so down bad and pathetic for musical!Laurens

Im high, metaphorically

[lafayette-enthusiast]

The gay trio should be renamed "cheat-on-my-wife" trio since they all had cheated on their wife atleast once

[apuff-comics]

[heartgoth90]

[do-not-perceive-willis]

found this on pinterest, thought of tumblr

part two of 'willis' stolen memes'

[the-trans-man-with-no-plan]

one time i was in an olive garden bathroom and my packer fell out of my shorts and this ten year old boy just looked at me with absolute terror and without thinking i said "that's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables" later i saw him eating salad at a speed no human should be capable of

[spooky-cowfish]

A recreation of what I saw when I was passing my boss's desk

[twinkdionysusoncrack]

joining Tumblr on April Fools day cuz it feels like a good idea 🫠

[boogbugart]

Do you think it's time I stopped?