#rhumatologist

[andsoshetypes]

Feels like all my chickens have come home to roost

[spoonies4ever]

when you wait 2+ months to hear back from the specialist

and then they call (!) but can only give you an appointment in another 6+ months...

[hanberlin-blog]

I don’t know why I keep having these persistent high fevers and its so scary. I woke up with no chills (thankfully) but when I checked my temperature it was 100. I had my thick comforter and thin sheet, I wore really thin clothes.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow at the same time as my class but that was the absolute only time I could schedule it. I would’ve preferred to go today or Thursday but my rheumatologist is completely booked. I have to present my logo in front of my professor too. I’m gonna email her but I’m so scared. I don’t want her to think, “What’s wrong with Hannah? Why does she keep getting sick? Maybe she shouldn’t stay in the program”.

I was not feeling well yesterday and I started shaking a little bit in class. Because when I walked in I guess I was out of breath and came in kinda rattled and she whispered to me, “if you’re not feeling well then you don’t need to be here.” But I still stayed. Then she starts yelling at the whole class because we didn’t do our summaries correctly and we don’t really understand the concepts. Then she kept threatening to not pass us if we don’t understand. I got a lot of anxiety. I was not feeling well physically and emotionally. I had to text Cecilio to pick me up so I missed 2 of my other classes. I don’t know if it was also because I had low blood sugar but I was able to eat enough.

I am still having anxiety about this program. I’m terrified of not passing my classes and getting kicked out. Lately I’ve been feeling like I want to quit. But what does that do for me? I worked so hard to get here then ill have nothing to show for it. I have to talk to my professors about what’s going on with my health. I’m really scared about everything. Scared that my health is deteriorating and that I won’t finish school. I’m turning 24 on Saturday and I’m still in college.

Please help me. Or someone talk to me. If you are a college student and have an autoimmune disease id like a pen pal I can talk to. To know I’m not alone.