#right then

[finelytaylored]

phil: “I learnt what sex was from the Cambridge dictionary.”

dan: “whot? the Cambridge one specifically?”

phil: “yeah we’ve got it in the office... it was last week”

dan: “we have it in the office??”

phil: “yeah, I was like what’s that thing I’ve been doing?”

[btsunyeondan]

[crucifornicate]

what if oasis was called ohiosis and instead of the lore being about brothers in love it was about the 67 and tung tung tung sahurs in love

[brothlcreeprs]

[anaburbononburbon]

You, this room and a baby

(found a blurb I wrote on an old phone and at 3am and it KILLED me so I have to share it!)

Dark fic!!! You wake up, drugged and foggy, last memory with a group of soldiers who just landed back from deployment and said they needed to release some tension. Kept buying you drinks and saying sweet nothings in your ear.

Now you are awake and in a basement, scared, cold, unsure. A red blinking light in the corner of the room, locking you up with dread. You knew it was too good to be true. Of course those men lied to you, and you let them and now you were here. Alone. Terrified.

Or....so you thought. Eventually a bundle beside your mattress wiggles around and begins to cry. A baby cry. There's a baby trapped in the room with you.

You have someone's child locked in a basement with you, being recorded for a sick game and someone's twisted pleasure...

~

Which couldn't be anywhere close to the truth, love! The guys were surprised by a baby showing up on their door one day. No note, no paperwork, just some old blankets and a very hungry boy.

With Johnny and Simon with horrible memories from their childhoods, either by their own family or the orphanage, they swiftly talk John and Kyle into keeping the baby. At least they know with them that the boy will be well taken care of.

Now they need a mother. A mothers touch. A mothers love. Someone who will care for their child, protect their child and raise it like their own. It's really your fault, dove. You yapped about being a parent one day, the joys of taking care of something so small and so innocent and helping them grow into a stable adult. How you also had a rough childhood and you were determined to make sure the same thing would never happen. Your fault. If you didn't want the guys to see if you could handle this, you should have kept your mitts to yourself.

Oh well, sucks to suck.

Now, here you are. Locked away with their boy, watched closely to see how you will react. Will you do as you say? Will you protect him from the crazy civvy they plan to unleash into the room? Or will you be like all the others and freeze and make the guys kill him for you, and get rid of you in the process?

Just think bird, if you pass, it's basically a marriage proposal after that. They already have the rings, the dress and the Russian priest who will happily marry you and John. Little baby boy snugged tightly to you as the guys figure out who should be the second one to put a baby in you.

Everyone knows who goes first....

[reyolfx]

this might potentially be a hot take but i'm rewatching the man who would be king rn and i'm thinking - maybe!! even though there was so much else going on that this would have likely taken a back seat for him - cas may have really felt his love for dean settle in as he listened to dean defend him to sam and bobby

oof the guilt and love cocktail of it all

[matthewjohnsons]

would anyone like to come over and split a halal gyro plate with me