#rip patton

[mrsbunghole]

[halfhissandwich]

I wanted to play Pokemon and then my Gastrodon (who is named Patton) learned Scald, so I knew what I had to do

[incorrect-sanders-sides]

Patton: Logan?

Logan [reading]: hmmm?

Patton: You know that feeling you get when you see someone and your heart skips a beat?

Logan [not looking up from his book]: Yeah, that's called arrhythmia.

Patton:

Logan: You can die from that.

[quietrainfan]

Janus, at the start of playing brain strain games with Logan: What's a five letter word for disappointment?

Patton: Remus.

Janus: ......

Janus:

[asterythm]

linoleum floors and harsh lights and a taste of something just right [vignette]

“Come on, why even go to Costco if you’re not going to try the free samples?” Roman grumbled. “A bite of milk chocolate won’t kill you.”

Rolling his eyes, Virgil pushed the outstretched sample away. “If you think you’re ever gonna get me to have anything other than dark, think again. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.” He cast a meaningful glance at their overflowing shopping cart. “Speaking of milk, I thought we were just gonna grab a bag and get out. What do we even need a Himalayan salt lamp for?”

“It’s for the aesthetic,” Roman replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “And you didn’t hear me complaining when we stopped to look at headphones for twenty minutes.”

That caught Virgil’s attention; he turned around to argue. It was the opportunity Roman had been waiting for. Quick as a flash, Roman popped the chocolate into Virgil’s open mouth before he could say anything. 

“Ha! Taste my sugary wrath, you bitter Betty!” he taunted.

A second passed. Then two. Virgil swallowed, his expression neutral. 

***

Those two have been gone on their milk run for a lot longer than I expected, thought Logan idly, turning over the next page in his novel. As if on cue, the front door swung open just then. Logan looked up. In the next moment, the book was lying on the table, forgotten.

“Virgil,” he began slowly. “Why are you carrying an enormous bag of chocolate?”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me! Roman bought a Himalayan salt lamp!”

[an-anxious-acquaintance]

Patton: That’s one of my biggest fears.

Roman: What is?

Patton: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut-

Roman: You would eat yourself.

Patton: I wouldn’t even question it.

[ask-dogpile]

Introductions Part 6

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

[purplepotatomunv]

SmhkakgkwkvksjAKGMAKVMWN NOOOOO

I named one of my birds Patton and he got stuck on a berry bush and d i ed ohhhh noo my sweet minecraft birb Patton noooooo