awkward
your sister had one rule and one rule only: don't fuck her teammates. usually you resisted, regardless of your own or the teammate's advances, but riri--riri was someone different, something different. but you fucked up, and so did she, yet the two of you couldn't stand seeing eachother with someone else. while trying to get your mind off her at a party, you kiss a girl from her rival team and-consequently-unlock feelings the both of you’d stowed away for months.
tgl: @lyfeofbilly @mrsudakuwilliams99 @inmyheadimobsessed @newctrll @criaaturaa @glimreaperss @mitchesmoon @1sleepymoon1 @shedreamsofesia @beautybyfire @zerothehero
a/n: this made me giggle while writing ngllll. i rewrote the dialogue a few times cause at one point it was giving soap opera. i wanted it to give lesbian indie with no budjet. i did kinda fall in luv w naomi. this is set between LSU and USC. im kinda in luv w her. may edit l8r. mk. i hope u enjoy k bye
wrd count: 5.5k
song: awkward - sza
sitting in a room full of drunk people had to be one of your least favorite pasttimes, especially when sober. smoke clouded the room, and as each minute went by, the party only reeked of more weed. there was no space to move, only space for grinding, illegal substances, and people mouth fucking eachother in every possible corner. you didn't know why you were still there when kaia, your roomate, left soon after you guys arrived with her fuckbuddy, and your sister was nowhere to be found.
a part of you was surprised at your discontenment. you'd been at worse parties, especially in your highschool years. growing up with your mother taught you a lot; it taught you about respect, responsibility, and, most importantly, sneaking around. there wasn't a week where you weren't at a party: hanging out with your friends, making out with girls, or swimming in random rich people's pools. at times, you wondered how your mother never found out between the amount of sneaking out, stealing your phones back from her, and driving after allotted hours. but in many ways, her parenting worked. you and your twin sister, zion, got full rides to your dream university, her for basketball, and you for merit.
after minutes of mindless walking, you'd ended up in the kitchen, somehow less populated and filled with breathable air. while looking down the corridor for a party of drunks who needed more alcohol, you only spotted half naked bodies on the dancefloor and calls for shots at the bar across the house. a sigh left your chest, alleviating you from the weight of bass playing through the speakers.
you stumbled into the kitchen with an exasperated, "finally", grabbing water from a random person's fridge and throwing your head back to relieve the tension in your neck.
"i see you ain't havin fun either" a voice erupted from the corner of the kitchen, low and sultry.
your head craned to see a tall woman, about 5'11, with locs brushing her shoulders and piercings decorating her face. her skin glowed, even in the dark ass kitchen the both of you stood in. your eyes couldn't help but drop, and on their way back up, they observed the black jeans that sat just below her v-line, exposting her tranquilizing tattoos resting on her hips and below her belly button. as your eyes traveled higher, they spotted the black tank top hugging her figure, scoop neck low enough to drag you in but leave everything to the imagination. to top it all off, a pink zip up jacket fell off her shoulder, only brightening her face more.
you couldn't believe it: having a shit time at this party, yet two seconds before you were about to leave running into a beautiful woman. your love life always seemed like that: spontaneous, random, finding you in the worst places. a part of you knew you shouldn't entertain her, because at the end of the day you knew why you were at this party, and it wasn't for kaia or zion. you knew riri was around somewhere; you could feel it. you could feel her warm energy, suffocating and cloy. you could feel her eyes, tearing away at the bit of sanity you had left.
deep down, you just wanted to dance, to feel free and in control of your heart. a smirk pulled at your lips, despite the resistance of your subconsious.
"nah, not really. you?" you muttered, not meaning for your voice to come out in a small stutter.
the girl in front of you chuckled, locs bouncing and framing her perfect face.
"i thought i wasn't feeling it, but your beauty is convincing me to stay." the drawl in her voice hooked you in a reel you refused to wrestle out of. as you watched her smile grow, yours grew too, pinging your heart with an emotion you hadn't felt since the girl you tried your hardest to ignore; you were always in too close of a proximity to forget.
"yea?" you responded, louder this time, confidence painting your voice. "you're one to talk, pretty." a wave of adrenaline usurped you, encouraging you to forget about the reason you were here and focus on the face in front of you.
you continued, "you go to sc? or you here with a friend?"
her eyes stayed on yours, pupils dialating from admiration. she gently shook her head before answering your question.
"i go to lsu." the girl stepped closer, now just a foot in front of you, "but i never cared about no beef." a wide smirk cemented on your face. "i'm naomi."
you took a sip of your water, determining your next actions.
"pretty name," naomi hums in response. the creaking floor filling the moment of silence before your feet stepped closer to her, closing the distance. chest to chest, you whispered, "when you find out mine, i'mma make you remember it."
of all the things you could've said, she didn't expect you to claim her with such assertiveness, and, truthfully, neither did you. her brows shot up, and her tongue slid between her plump lips. she leaned in even closer, not caring about the contact, wet lips grazing your ear as she whispered.
"promise?" the words coming out a bit more desperate than she intended.
after her question, you turned your head to look her in the eye once more. a chuckle left your lips then, face just centimeters apart. when you grabbed her hand, she didn't resist, in fact, she held yours tighter. pulling her to the dance floor with you.
suddenly, it had made sense why there was no space for boredom within the four walls of the party. shit, as your hips matched with naomi’s, surfing the beat that consumed you, it seemed you shoved any inch of irksomeness out the fucking door. her hands collapsed from yours, falling into the groove of your waist and sliding to where they felt most comfortable. for a moment, she watched your face as it pinched with determination. she snickered at that: the focus plaguing your face. it seemed you were just as desperate as her. desperate to find somebody new, desperate to chase a pretty sight as if the sunset was the destination. the sun is always temporary, and so is love.
although you submerged yourself into a vibration empowered by curiosity and unmistakeable tension, there was an unspoken bond that tied you together. naomi’s eyes were glued to your hips on hers, her soft hands tightening on your bare waist, all of her body communicated a language her lips, nor yours, never would. loosening your body from hers, you pulled away, eliciting a sigh of confusion from the girl with no imperfections.
the music only crescendoed as your mind grew hazier. you turned to face the now nervous girl, high from your touch. this time naomi pulled you close, chest to chest, refusing to let go. her grip tightened around your waist determined to leave bruises.
the both of you were close. really fucking close. not a sliver of room existed between you two, but there was something missing. still. naomi held you just right, looked at you so tentatively, that your unsatisfaction was infuriating. impulsively, a hand fell from the nape of her neck and landed on her throat, tightening your hold on her and pulling her face to yours.
her lips were glorious—soft, plump, something you'd never felt before. but their perfection, her perfection, still couldnt scratch your undying itch. truthfully, it grew. your itch grew and grew then inflated into something you could no longer ignore, no longer forget. you were getting restless, but so was naomi.
neither of you could pinpoint what invigorated yourselves, but you both knew you didnt want to stop, even if both of you were chasing—aimlessly running towards—something you could never obtain. maybe the invisible treasure was eachother, maybe you had to swallow eachother whole to feel something realer than your swollen lips. maybe it was the exact opposite, maybe you needed to reverse time and prevent yourself from walking in that kitchen just when she was ready to leave.
naomi was skillfully deadly. each of her hands massaged your hips and raked your body, hands slipping under your top for her own guilty pleasure. she swallowed every breath you exhaled with a consistency and proficiency you’d never encountered. while fighting for dominance, you bit her lip, eliciting a sinfully beautiful groan from her.
both of you tried your absolute hardest to devour the other whole and quench the thirst that plagued you. slowly, by the grace of whatever rests in the sky, you rationed the pockets of water you were given. you searched for the reason you were no longer thirsty. for a moment, you thought naomi’s lips had finally healed you.
suddenly, the music paused. pulling your face from the mysterious fatale, you searched for the cause of the blip. but the music returned just as fast as it bolted, and naomi chased your lips shamelessly, returning her lips to your pillowy ones.
yet even as you relished the pleasure naomi’s persistent lips offered you, you couldn't shake the figure you saw out of the corner of your eye. the impossibly flawless basketball player hadn’t spontaneously scratched your itch, she couldn'tve. regardless if she kissed you the right way, touched you in all the right places, her perfection wasn’t enough to excite you. perhaps you weren't used to it, but it was more likely it just wasn't what you preferred.
her lips never stopped consuming you, but all you were reminded of was riri. her calloused hands rubbing you impatiently, how she rolled her hips against yours at the optimal time. how her lips were simultaneously the softest and roughest you’d ever known. your lids reopened, hunting for the blurry figure you saw, clues of your dissipating thirst, and the blip of music.
you expected to find something normal, something mundane, but the only something your eyes could focus on was riri across the room, visibly angry leaning against the wall and staring at the only woman she could ever see: you. riri possessed her ever interrogating gaze to accompany her flat face. a part of you missed examining her face: dissecting each morsel of feeling she gave you to scrounge for more. you kept your lips on naomi, but continued to burn your gaze into riri.
riri felt you; there was no denying it. between her fidgeting hands, constant re-positioning herself against the wall, her clenching jaw, you were getting under her skin in a way you never had before.
although your gaze was fire against riri, you began to feel hot yourself. your stomach, for the first time all night, felt hot and needy. your hands clammed against naomi’s skin, pawing for more. your gasps became heavy and frequent. you couldn't control yourself. something unfamiliar and animalistic drowned you in the middle of that fucking party, and as riri watched, felt herself growing more green, she recognized her own growing need the glint of your eyes.
you needed more, more of riri’s eyes on you, more on the now forgotten girl’s heavenly lips. absentmindedly, you pushed naomi’s hands down and, very purposefully, she cupped your ass, squeezing it in her palms.
naomi whined as you bit her lip once more, your tongue dancing with the piercing on her bottom lip. for the first time in what felt like forever, your eyes darted back to the girl you took your anger out on. with a smile and ever growing recklessness, your lips pounced on her with even more fervor, and your hips messily ground against hers harder and harder.
"you keep doin that, and we gon have to get outta here" naomi panted, already undressing you with her eyes. shamefully, you didn’t even know what you were doing to steal her breath. she moaned on your lips again and again, convinced she could never get enough of you. “…keep going,”. yet, still, you only knew that every cell keeping your body upright wanted to naomi to so badly be riana williams.
your lips begun to move faster than you could tell them no, and your streak of impulsivity continued, "i'd tell you to buy be dinner first, but honestly a drink would suffice."
believe it or not, this behavior was not one you wore often. since attending university, you barely went to parties, only the ones kaia dragged you to so you’d get out of your bed, and, sometimes, the team parties your sister courteously invited you to. yet even when they dragged you out, you barely drank. once in a blue moon someone would catch you with a blunt in hand, but rare it was; you’d much rather be rolled up in your dorm, wrapped in the comfort of your safe space and riri’s arms. religiously, kaia insisted you were a party killer. only if she could see you now.
for the first time that night, a different grin grew on naomi’s face. it wasn’t the sweet one you’d come accustomed to in the short period you basically dry humped her in the middle of a crowd, it was something mean and consequential. she was gonna rip you to fucking pieces, and even though your heart wanted to stay and curse riri the hell out, your head chased the high and the curiosity that lied dormant in your system. you wanted to know how she would handle you once you left those front doors.
naomi’s hand returned to yours, picking it up and delivering it to her now wet lips. “one drink coming up.”
she slipped away from you with an elegance you abandoned as soon as the two of you left the kitchen. instinctively, your eyes scanned the room, begging to land on riri once more, but you couldn’t find her. it seemed she evaporated from the place she stood envious and greedy and was nowhere to be found.
unexpectedly, a presence of which you thought belonged to naomi appeared behind you, but once you turned around you quickly realized you were mistaken.
"i know your sister said not to fuck her teammates, but she definitely ain't tell you to fuck our rivals."
her voice always seemed to dip around you, as if letting her guard down meant dropping her vocal cords too. contrasting emotions swelled inside your bubbling stomach; you wanted riri, so much so it hurt. so much so the sight of her face, the sound of her voice, enraged you.
"riana, i'm not in the mood-" somehow your voice managed to conceal your conflicting feelings, instead spitting out one: anger. riri, however, was not buying it.
"i ain't either.” she interrupted, “you fucking on some bitch you just met? in the middle of a party?" as riri spoke, her eyes darkened. an unaknowledged string pulled between the two of you, bringing you closer despite the resistance (or lack thereof) from both of you.
your eyebrows shot up, "naomi ain't no bitch. and fuck, are you spying on me?” the volume of your voice grew louder than you would’ve liked, but not louder than the music blasting on the numerous speakers lying around the house. with every second you stood in front of riri, you grew defensive, unsure if you were trying to protect naomi or convince yourself you’ve gotten over riri.
the tone of your voice rang deep in riri’s ears. to hear you jump to defend someone that wasn’t her spawned a train of thought she hadn’t dreampt of; you were over it, over her, and even if you weren’t, you were over it more than she was.
"she got a name now?” riri stepped closer, brows pinched and eyes squinted, “and what? like you wasn’t staring at me tongue deep in her mouth?"
you hadn’t even attempted to hide your actions, but embarrassment pinched you regardless.
“ri-”
"your sister asked me to make sure you safe.” although still low, her voice shrinked three sizes. “i'm just doing my job."
a scoff jumped off your chest faster than you could contain it. "yeah, well, we both know you do your job a little too well."
a pause hung in the room in spite of the bass bouncing off the walls. the two of you held eachother's stare with longing and knowing. what started off as an effort to ‘look after you’ morphed into something far different: into stolen kisses in locker rooms, into sneaking out of dorms and hiding out in closets. keeping you safe was never a job to riri; it was a way of life. protecting you was all she dedicated herself too, even in moments like this.
"you know damn well you like when i do my job well." your eyes grew wide with truth. riri was many things, but not a liar. she knew you better than anyone, sometimes better than yourself. the moments riri stopped you from going on dates, bought you flowers, shared her deepest secrets under the guise of loyalty to her best friend were the moments you cherished most, even if her best friend was your twin sister.
she continued, "don't front, cause i ain't here to argue but i'm certainly not here to watch you fuck a girl that ain’t even given you her chart-”
“are you fucking serious?”
“does it look like it? and I ain’t leaving zion's sister at a ghetto ass party alone-”
"i ain't zion's sister." you interrupted, "you know my fucking name."
you were right; you were rarely ever wrong. sometimes all riri thought she knew was your name. since she met you its been all she could think about, the way it sits on her tongue, the way it sound on her lips, the way it bounces off of your lips onto hers into her tongue.
you finished, "and i ain't alone."
riri’s brows fell into a deeper furrow every minute she stood talking to you. you watched as her eyes grew darker, as her shoulders grew wider, as a glossy tint painted her irises, as the hairs on her arms rose and reached to the sleeping sun. it wasn't just annoyance that entrapped her body, it was anger: jealous anger, sad anger, angry anger. anger from not having you, anger from it not being her you were kissing, who you were grinding on, anger from the fact you were angry with her.
riri’s shrinking voice was delivered to you once more, this time with a flicker of warning. "zion left an hour ago, and kaia was gone in the first five minutes. you know that. i'm your ride. whether you like it or not."
"i'm not leaving with you." no matter how much you wanted her, you’d stand your ground, build your walls brick by brick, regardless if they took a millis of seconds to break down. riri would always have you. you knew; she knew. otherwise, she wouldn’t be here; begging for you through angry teeth; you fighting her back through angrier hair.
"look,” her voice shook, “we can do this the easy way or the hard way. i don't care if i gotta drag yo ass outta here, we’ll be at my garage in ten minutes." a grin grew on your face as your eyes thinned. you looked down at riri, a few inches shorter than you, and back down at yourself. you snickered. riri caught it. "and block that kaia chick, i ain’t never liked her."
"she's my roommate, dumbass. and i'm not gonna drop someone just cause you don't like them."
“well you should.” a beat. she looked up at you, eyes heavy and wanting. her hand threatened to pull at yours, but she managed to keep it at her side. naomi managed to busy herself at the bar, still. it was just you and riri, long lost sisters-bestfriends-bestfriends-sisters (and sometimes lovers) standing solemnly in the middle of the dance floor. “and she left u at a party alone. if that don't say enough, i don’t know what does.”
the drive was silent. naomi probably looped the mansion 5 times before realizing you left her. party permeated every square centimeter of the property. a part of you felt bad for her, but you didn’t. not really.
throughout the ride, a series of grunts and huffs expelled from riri. one hand, rough and calloused, held on to the steering wheel as if that single circle was holding the vehicle together. her grip was unwavering, and every adjustment of her hands exposed the corns hugging the tips of her fingers and palms from hours of building shit when she doesn’t want to hold herself accountable. the other hand, her non-dominant, took sporadic breaks from rubbing her face and cheeks in frustration. her tongue poked at the flesh in her face as if you were a child and she was delivering punishment.
it was times like these you never knew where you stood with riri; it was times like these where she resembled zion: protective, over protective, in your business, zealous with an ego that refuses to be checked. at least riri’s refuses to be checked by anyone who isn’t you. because, unlike zion, she always walks to wherever you are a few minutes later and apologizes, and covers your face with kisses, and promises she would never hurt you. but here you are. you hurt her, but she did too.
the clock struck late when you left. not many cars were on the street at the same time as you. blinding lights passed and passed and refused to be ignored. headlights flickered in the rearview mirror. once the world became visible again so could riri. her eyes sought yours with an urgency you hadn’t found in yourself since you were within the bounds of her arms. it scared you, the burning in your stomach, the craving to be closer, knowing you couldn’t be.
the walk into the garage was silent and long. riri held the door open for you like she always insists. no one spoke, or, perhaps everyone agreed to not break the silence. since meeting her eyes in the reflection of the rearview, you hadn't been able to keep yourself off of them. your body felt called to the worlds within worlds within her world.
"your girl know about your hiding spot?" suddenly, you broke the agreement. the statement was to test the waters.
"she ain't my girl," the waters were tested. "and this ain't my hiding spot." and she lied.
riri had been posting a girl. only one of the pair had claimed the other. it was not riri. the girl, rhylee, was in your social sciences and economics class for a semester. she often asked about riri and how she was doing. you truly never thought rhylee’d do some dumb shit like fuck your friend?girl?, but you truly don’t know why riri would go out of her way to fuck a fanned out friend of yours and not anyone else. not you.
rhylee didn’t know about the garage. nobody did; barely even zion. z knew about the garage. she’d been there, in the front. but she hadn’t been to the back where riri keeps her rolls and her record player and her shoe collection and the good sheets she fucks you so good on she has to wash twice.
“what, y’all ain’t fucked enough times to claim her?” a large part of you, all of you, hoped she didn’t fuck her on your sheets, on your pillowcase. "and this ain't the place you hide mad shit? superhero suits, serect girlfriends-" nobody knew about the suit either. especially not the suit. that was y’alls thing: ironheart and crew. sometimes you and shuri’s girlfriend would stay up late nights binging shows, eating ice cream, to welcome your loves back home. you’d never experienced anything like that before or since.
"you tryna get my attention?" your brows quirked.
"why'd you drag me here, ri?"
"answer the question." she barked, puffing her shoulders wide like she ain’t small, like her hair ain’t done, like her lips ain’t glossed.
"you asked the question like i ain't already have your attention. its not like you even tried to look away when I was dancing with naomi who, by the way, you made me leave without saying nothing." your head jerked to the side as you spoke.
the movement was uncontrollable; it poured out of you: the words, the movements, the memories. how riri, who unfollowed you months ago, had been viewing your stories for weeks. how she’d been asking friends of friends to check up on you so she knew how you were, so she keep up with what zion was telling her about you. how she was recently really curious with zion. how she used the short answers zion gave her about your date to hunt you down and spy on you in her suit.
“don’t even-” she interrupted as if she had the grounds to. her attention was already in the womb of your palm being fed and watered and nutured every morning, noon, and night.
"answer my question riana."
“careful with my government-” she stepped closer, a hand out to catiously warn you.
“cause if you really was just my ride,” you pondered, a hand on your chin like a greek philosopher, “you would’ve taken me the fuck home. why we here? to chat?"
"you know why you here," thousand things ran through your head at once: riri’s desirous whine as she pleaded her case, the bed you knew was just a door down from where the two of you stood, her face, your sister, naomi’s hips, riri’s glossed lips, the time riri came undone on your hands on the couch right next to you (she forced you to give her breakfast in bed for two days), rhylee, riri, the flowers you gave riri the last time you kissed her that sat at gary’s altar dead behind riri, riri, riri.
you shook your head, "i dont, actually." a single tear gathered at your waterline."i thought its cause you 'wanted to keep me safe'? but im startin to think otherwise-”
"i can't do this shit no more." riri's head began to shake.
“what shit riri?” you questioned, “we're done. you moved on, why can't i?" riri’s eyes were incapable of breaking from yours as she fell into the chair behind her. her voice, already silent, broke.
"cause i havent moved on-" across the room, the phone she threw across the room minutes earlier chimed with a notification from rhylee. your gaze broke from riri’s, who’s eyes stayed steady on yours.
while watching the floor, a chuckle leaves your lips. "my replacement don't satiate u?" you shake your head.
"no." the room fills with unmistakeable silence. "i dont think anyone ever will-" another beat. "satiate me," her eyes skip from each of yours, weaving from your left to right to your lips as if she never got enough of them in the months she couldn't pull herself away. "but you seemed real comfortable with ms.wassaname an hour ago-"
"and if i was?" you persisted, still.
"that'd be a problem.” she nodded, now, with vigor. “we aint even found a way to make this work and here you are-" her hands lifted to make sense of it all.
it was true: you hadn’t found a way. both of you were scared, and both of you wanted to be honest with eachother, yourselves, and with zion. but with rising tensions on the team, her coach, their coach, and zion cracking the fuck down on zion, it became clear riri wouldn’t have a spot on the basketball team or in your life if zion found out. it was best to keep a safe distance rather than not be there at all.
"nah," you denied, "you found your way.” you began, “fucking bitches to keep your mind off what you really want."
"wasn't you grindin' on that girl just so i'd look your direction?" she stood, making her way over to you, "neither of us found our way, ma." her head shook; her grin exposed her and your raw hurt. "ignoring yourself don't work. and it don't for me either."
"you got some nerve." you stepped forward. the two of you were face to face now, noses nearly touching. "after all that you still moved on like shit was easy for you, and you wanna act like-"
"you thought it was easy for me?" she interrogated, questioning the merit of your question.
she thought back to the nights she risked her life for you, fighting with zion, word and fist, negotiating with her coaches, pleaded her case for her sport and merit scholarship, cried in her mothers arms, cried in the scent of you in her sheets, cried over machinery, cried some more.
"obviously! it's not like you crying over shit." you’d never been more wrong.
"did you enjoy it?" riri bit back.
"what?"
"tonight, with her. did you like that shit?" she pushed forward even more, chest against chest.
"no.” your heart simultaneously beat out of your chest, and slowed. it always calmed when around riri, even when you were most aware of it. even in moments like these. your voice had become as small as riri’s was at the party: shrinking and shaking. you continued, “something was missing."
"yea?" she asked. you nodded.
"what? she aint whisper in your ear or kiss in the crook of your neck right above your collarbone, or hold your hips just right, or roll hers to meet yours just as you threw?" your eyes widened with every item added to the list. "i was missing?” your jaw slackened, and riri couldn’t help but eye the lips she’d do anything to be inside of, even when she hated them. “please.” she continued, “i’ve been cried. you wouldda known that if u aint block me on everything.”
you struggled to get words out of your stuttering lips. "i just-" it was your turn to panic, to thread your eyes through hers, to push her away. "fuck"
"use your words,"
your eyes bore into hers wide and fearful. sound threatened to escape your lips, but choked in your throat. as a result, your lips quivered, and swallowed any words your body concocted in the short amount of time your thoughts were gathered.
although scared, riri’s hands stuttered and reached her hands towards you. they succeeded in seizing your body. you collapsed into her, grabbing her shoulders, and pulling her in by the neck and hips as if she would disappear from your grip in an instant.
she pulled away, needing to see your eyes again. the same itch that sat in your stomach while with naomi returned within the arms of riri. her eyes were so wide and so full. they looked up at you as if there was something else to search for. the hand that rested on riri’s neck tightened, and you pulled her lips forward to yours. she didn't hesitate and, for many moments, she couldn't stop herself from indulging in you.
riri pawed at you like she was dehydrated and you were her oasis. she drank from you again and again, swallowing every sigh that fell from your lips. both of her palms squeezed the flesh naomi touched as if to wring her out of you, rid you of any drop of her left. it'd been too long since you'd been in riri's arms, between her lips, in her garage; she began to melt too. her firm lips became soft vessels for whines, her hands clammy craving skin, and her hips chasing a sanctum only you could provide her.
it was always to fall back into what you knew with riri, what was. but she always had a way of bringing you back and showing you what is. she was good at that with you even if she refused to do it for herself: showing you what is forward. although every bone in her body told her not to, the shorter woman pulled away, eyes still stubborn and unwavering.
you chased her lips, she followed, but pulled away before she'd be swept into the tides of your body again.
“words." riri panted.
a milenia had passed before you could push words up your throat. there was no breath left in your lungs to supply riri with a sufficient answer. the tear that collected at your waterline finally fell down your cheek: a result of pent up frustration.
there was so much you wanted to do. so much you wanted to say. so much you wanted to change. it couldn't be said (at least not simply)
"can we even still love on eachother?" you shook your head, trying to ration what seemed to be left of you in her. "touch eachother?" a beat. "you talkin a lot of shit for someone just as scared." riri's jaw fell a bit, then. you shrugged, truly shattered between love and love, knowing what you would choose could ruin futures, including zion's, including riri's. "i'm just not tryna make nothin awkward between you and z. us and z. and if it doesn't work out between zion, between your team-"
riri's head shook with vigor. she knew a life without you and barely survived. it seemed you couldn't either. "then fuck it, mama. it'll be awkward."
“you can’t just-“ another tear falls, then a few more. riri always managed to know all of your worries and kiss them away. you smiled and chuckled. riri chuckled then, and pulled your lips to hers for another kiss. ”you make it so difficult” you muttered, lips on hers. her lips meant yours again.
“why you say that?” she questions gently, breath intertwined with yours
“cause you can’t look at me like that and say those things and expect me not to say some shit. " your grin smiles, "or to kiss you.”
her grin grew then, too.
“i hate you, so fucking much”
“yea, well i hate you more.”
