#river rants

[riverrivrio]

mel king girl kisser agenda

mel king girl kisser agenda

mel king girl kisser agenda

mel king girl kisser agenda

mel king girl kisser agenda

[theriu]

"Maleficent had every right to be offended, the king and queen were rude to exclude her, social norms etiquette disrespect etc. etc." okay but that's not an excuse to do attempted murder on a baby! We all understand that, right? Like yes, it's a very fun thought experiment to examine the social structures and expectations of this fictional land and the reasons Maleficent had for being mad, but we can still recognize that how she chose to respond to the supposed sleight is inexcuseable, right? And framing it as the king and queen's fault their NEWBORN CHILD was CURSED because they DIDNT DO POLITICS CORRECTLY is actually a kind of victim-blaming, right?

I don't even watch Brooklyn 99 but they put it the best anyone has ever put it so here you go:

P.S. I love the Maleficent movies and they def show how the king royally screwed up and brought his doom on himself, but THEY STILL MAKE IT CLEAR WHAT MALEFICENT DID WAS ALSO EVIL AND SHE GROWS TO REGRET IT, and THAT is how you do a sympathetic villain redemption arc my dudes!!!

[river-thebard]

oh, your love is sunlight // pt. 1

This is mostly a proof of concept, a test to see if I can still write something even half decent after so long in retirement so.. pls be nice lol. If you like it, lmk, and I'll maybe write the rest!

Geraskier modern Hollywood/rockstars/fame AU. Jaskier is a Harry Styles-esque pop star at the height of his fame, Geralt is the frontman of a heavy metal band with a reputation to uphold.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 (finale)

~~~~~

The crowd roared and applauded as Jaskier and his band finished their third encore, waving to the mass of faces in the Dolphin Stadium.

“Thank you, Kerack! You’ve been a beautiful audience, goodnight!” The brunet called to his fans with a beaming grin on his face as he took another bow with the band. As the stage lights dimmed and fireworks boomed over the stadium, Jaskier ran offstage with his band, hugging them all despite the sweat they were all drenched in.

“Guys, thank you, this tour has been absolutely incredible and in no small part because of you all. I’m sad this was our last show, but I’ll see you all again for the next one?” he asked with a cheeky grin, which was met with eager nods and resounding ‘yes’es from the band and crew alike. He gave them all one more embrace, handed his cornflower blue, electric guitar to his stage manager and turned to head for his dressing room with an exhausted, giddy smile on his lips.

As he turned, Geralt Rivia, frontman of The Wolf Pack, came running up to him from the wings, wrapped his arms around Jaskier’s waist and picked him up, spinning him on the spot, making the smaller man squeak in surprise.

“Geralt!” Jaskier laughed breathlessly as he was set back on his feet gently, “I thought you were going to wait in my dressing room?”

“I watched the whole thing from the VIP tent this time, lark.” Geralt told him with a fond smile.

Jaskier’s eyes welled up with tears, “Really?”

“Really.” The white-haired man assured him, cupping his cheeks in his calloused hands, “I knew how much this show meant to you. Plus, I was sick of watching the shows via shitty livestreams on my phone.” He chuckled, pressing a firm kiss to Jaskier’s forehead.

“Oh gods sorry, I’m probably so sweaty and gros-” Jaskier started but was cut off by Geralt kissing him fiercely.

“I don’t care.” Geralt murmured against his lips. “You’re still beautiful to me.”

Jaskier blushed a light pink as he kissed him back, grabbing onto the front of Geralt’s plain, black dress shirt; only breaking away as his manager, Philippa Eilhart, approached them and cleared her throat.

“Congratulations, Jaskier, the show and the tour as a whole were a complete success.” She smiled at the pair of them, “Even if I do think ending the tour in Kerack was a bit of a strange request.”

Jaskier chuckled sheepishly, “This part of the continent holds sentimental value to me, Phil.”

Philippa nodded, “Well, congrats again, I’ll let you have some peace now,” She eyed Geralt snaking one hand down to Jaskier’s lower back gently, “Or perhaps not” She gave Jaskier a knowing grin and walked away again.

Geralt shuddered, “Gods, that woman still terrifies me.” he chuckled nervously.

“Me too.” Jaskier admitted with a laugh as they started walking towards the exit where his tour bus was waiting to take everyone to a hotel for the night, before they all headed back home tomorrow.

~~~

Jaskier rolled over the following morning and nuzzled into Geralt’s broad, bare chest. “Mm, good morning, my white wolf.” He murmured with a contented smile, tracing his finger lightly over one of Geralt’s many scars.

“Morning, lark.” Geralt smiled and kissed him gently. He groaned and pulled away as his phone began to ring on the bedside table, the Jaws theme blaring from it loudly to indicate his ex-wife and manager was calling him. “That’s Yenn, I should get it.” He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Can’t she give you a single day of peace?” Jaskier whined and rolled away, grabbing his own phone to scroll mindlessly as he also sat up.

“Apparently not, sorry.” Geralt kissed his cheek then answered the phone, “Yenn it’s too early-”

“Well good morning to you too! Bad news, someone leaked you and your pop prince songbird to the press.” Yennefer told him

“What do you mean the press found out about me and Jaskier?” His brow furrowed as Jaskier reached over to hold his free hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Evidently, someone saw you at the closing night of his tour last night, Geralt.”

“No, I was careful last night…” Geralt protested

“You were in the VIP tent, that means something when there are already whispers about you two on Reddit." She told him sternly.

“I mean, yeah, I was in the VIP tent but so were a lot of people.” Geralt sighed, “Can we talk about it when we’re all back home?”

“Of course! We’ll sit down with Jaskier and Philippa.” Yennefer reassured him. “Make a game plan all together.”

“Alright, see you later.” He hung up and set his phone down, looking at Jaskier.

“Well shit.” Jaskier chuckled softly, “I mean, your brothers wouldn’t have leaked it… and I know my band won’t have.”

“It must’ve been someone on the crew at the stadium.” Geralt sighed softly, lifting their hands to kiss the back of Jaskier’s. “Maybe I should head back to Cintra separately, Jask, just in case…” He said reluctantly, his thoughts rushing by at a million miles an hour.

Jaskier frowned slightly, “What, no, we can take the tour bus instead if that’d be better for you?”

Geralt shook his head, “The paps will be crawling all over the bus by now. I should head out, lark.” He gave a sad smile and embraced the brunet tight to his chest. “I love you.”

Not enough to love me in public, thought Jaskier, “I love you too Geralt.”

~~~

As the lead singer of The Wolf Pack, the biggest heavy metal band on the continent, and one of three sons of a rock’n’roll hall of famer, Geralt felt he had a certain image to uphold; and dating a bubbly, colourful, pop star was the biggest blemish on that reputation he could ever have thought of. Yet, here he was, madly, deeply in love with Jaskier.

The man was a walking spectacle. ‘Freddie Mercury reborn’ one headline had called him during his first tour after making it big, Jaskier had that one printed out and framed in his living room. ‘A worthy successor to Bowie’ another had read more recently. That one was also printed and framed, hanging in pride of place next to the first one.

They’d met a couple of years ago at some awards show that Geralt was only at because Yennefer had insisted he go to represent the band. In her words, ‘Eskel will cause me a PR headache by fucking the wrong person’s wife, and Lambert will probably start a fight if you lose, I need you to go.’ So he’d gone and sat by himself, watching the party around him.

“I love how you just… sit in the corner and brood.” Jaskier had said, sitting down in the empty chair beside him. “Jaskier, pleasure to meet you.”

“Geralt Rivia.” He’d smiled at Jaskier’s quip.

“Darling I know who you are, your father is a titan in this industry.” Jaskier laughed. Gods, his laugh was like a melody that Geralt never wanted to hear the end of…

~~~

Part 2

[professorlegaspi]

she didn’t; he died lore

As is immediately obvious when you read it, she didn’t; he died is a canon divergence story. But, counterintuitively, the divergence isn’t that Casimir dies. Well, I mean, it is, but I see that as a symptom of a different, smaller, divergence 

This divergence happens offscreen, before the fic begins — and its that Celia uses a sword to fight

In canon, Celia doesn’t have a single weapon during the final battle

Casimir pulls up to the party with a sword and shield and she just. fights him without one lol

So the divergence for this au is Celia manifesting a sword for herself

She does this with touch gifts, transforming one of her shoelaces into a blade. This is part of her undoing, as she later loses that shoe

This choice — which represents a subconscious willingness to trade actual violence — is the true source of the following disaster

Celia was going to win that battle no matter what happened

The very second that she chose a weapon, it was inevitable that Casimir would be hurt with it

It is only with her canonical choice to forgo a weapon (and therefore it’s implicit violence) that Casimir can be spared

So actually canon!Casimir is very lucky

Here? Not so much

You may have noticed that the fumbles getting together timeline was different here than in canon 

I had to move things around to accommodate Celia’s changed mental state during the coronation

Bestie was seriously out of it, and I didn’t think it was realistic for her to be thinking about love right after killing someone

In universe, she was also really out of it for the party afterwards, and, as a result, all her friends went back to school after the first night

That’s why, when Celia finally figures herself out, Josh is at school, rather than at Villandrie

But I would never let that separate them 🥰

[tuvens]

seeing ewan mcgregor as a guest star in ER is kinda like my very own avengers endgame

[a-heart-full-of-dumb]

Welcome to the fandom, Isaac.

[moonlightlacrima]

i wish there were more options for severe pain management besides throwing pills at it and hoping they work :/ morphine has worked the best at getting rid of my pain so far but i can’t take that all the time!! and i can’t live on my heating pad 24/7 either! i need other ways to deal with thisss

[polluted-puddle]

i wake up everyday annoyed as shit to be here still and to repeat the same cycle over and over again