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Tokyo

when tomorrow comes,

how different it’s gonna be?

why do love and hate,

sound just the same to me?

– RM

#rm mono #bts #bts quotes #bts aesthetic #bts lyrics #bts mv #bts ot7 #bangtan #mono #RM #namjoon #kim namjoon #tokyo #mono tokyo #RM tokyo

Mono by RM

MONO: MOONCHILD

Words: 1129

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader (ish)

Genre: Angst

Warning: mentions of depression, some feelings might be triggering.

Tonight’s a full moon. Watching through your window you can’t help the feeling of belonging when you look at it. The house is silent, you’ve had dinner, organised everything you might need and that left you without anything to do, except look at the full moon in all its glory. You’ve always found the night calming. It is the only time of day where the streets are quiet, where the moon looks down on you, and the darkness embraces you as an old friend. To you, the walls of your small room become the night sky, the stars looking at you, accompanying the moon. She’s so big tonight, you want nothing more to go out and walk with her, if only for just a bit.

Will it be okay? Seeing her through your window is not nearly enough. You need to feel the freedom of walking the streets beside her, you yearn the night air filling your lungs and the slight breeze touching your cheeks, unchallenged by a multitude of other bodies. You feel as if, maybe just for a short while, the moon may be your confidant, she’ll keep your secrets to herself, so that you don’t have to tell any other human being.

Not bothering to even take your jacket with you, you put on your shoes and leave. The smile that you feel forming on your cheeks is the first genuine one in a while. It stretches your lips, showcases your teeth and reaches your eyes. A true smile. It takes you a while to leave the cover of the trees that surround your building. It’s all beautiful nature and yet, you feel like if only for the sake of seeing the moon unfiltered, it’d be worth it to get rid of those trees. You move faster when you see the moonbeams moving pass the canopy of leaves, stretching your hand forward, your heartbeat accelerating when your hand finally touches the white light beam.

Once you are bathed in the night, everything becomes still. You are able to breathe. Raising your head to the sky, you feel the loose threads of your hair, moved by the wind, caress your face, almost as if they were ribbons, not ropes. Even with your eyes closed you feel the moon looking at you, you feel how your face is touched by her, telling you how good you really are, giving you that support, that calm reassurance that you so desperately need. Little by little, you let go of the air you had been trying to keep inside you all day long, for it is only when the moon shines on you that you can breathe, you feel like no one can really blame you for being you. Being this little human being, inside of a universe of other people, who is allowed to feel sad, caged.

You keep wandering and your mind moves with you. You think, something that you try so hard not to do. And tonight you try to get answers. You think how suffering, how sadness, is something so intrinsically you that you can’t let go. But maybe it’s not only just you, but every person that smiles during the day, those loud creatures who express themselves exuberantly can also be sad. It’s that sadness that people have to overcome, you think. Moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other, just like you are doing now, bathed in the moon, until you’re dancing through the pain, revelling in your own strength.

You keep walking and the night scenery changes, as you get closer and closer to the river. The street lamps suddenly look like huge roses, with that artificial light reflecting off your glasses. They look more like thorns pinching the night, they don’t help with their lights, they only interrupt the tranquillity and darkness. They are nosy in their stillness. And you don’t need noise. The silence, yourself, that’s the only thing you need to get better.

Now you are walking next to the river, you look up at the moon and smile again. There she is fixed, but moving with you. Illuminating the path you are taking and guiding you. Looking around you, expecting to be alone, you’re startled out of your trance when you realise you are not. There, sitting on the ground, ankles crossed and arms firmly planted on the grass, there is a young man. His head is tilted backwards, much like yours had been for the whole night. Curious, your mind wanders towards him, and your feet end up taking you towards the sitting figure. His face comes into focus and you see how a solitary tear leaves his eye and travels, excruciatingly slow, down his smooth face, touches his ear and disappears. His presence there is inconspicuous and yet he is iridescent, he shines in the middle of the night, a beacon that absorbs you. He looks magnificently wounded, that’s the word. Because tears keep falling, and your soul calls to him. You want to tell him that crying sometimes is okay, that thinking about nothing is also thinking and that is okay, not because someone wants to be swallowed by the void means that they welcome emptiness. Keeping on living, breathing, fighting, that is the bravest thing someone can do. Smile through the tears. Just like he is doing right now, you realise. Just when you are close enough to touch him if you dare, you realise that his smile is the most brilliant thing about this man. It stretches his cheeks, giving you the most wonderful glimpse of his teeth, even his closed eyes crease with the spreading force of the smile. He is a wonder in his contradictions.

And then you reach for him, not realising that he knows you’re there. He feels the lone droplet of water touch his cheek, and slide the same path his have been following since you were watching. Two lonely souls in the fixing now look at the sky, thorns puncturing the night sky. You don’t speak, but your shining presence becomes a balm for each other. You no longer feel the moonbeams in your skin, because all the light you need is now coming from the person next to you. A shared burden, and your chest feels lighter than it has in a long time. Your souls look towards the sky, a small window into existence, your hidden heart, your hidden sorrows there for the world to see. But what a relief that the world right now is only this man, and the moon. Both tell you that when you feel like dying, you have to live twice as hard.

Moonchildren, that’s what you are. Two souls in the fixing that find comfort in each other’s thorns.

Lovely @mabel-k3 convinced me that it was worth it to keep posting my mono. series so here is the second part: moonchild. I am not following a set order, just writing what I feel right, so this series will be updated randomly. Still, I hope you guys like it! I love you, my sweets🥺🥰

💜🌙