Well, the results are in! The poll didn't get a lot of votes, but that's A-okay. /gen
So, I've made a decision; Jinx and I will make the 18+ blog for public view! If posts start getting flagged and whatnot, we may switch it to private temporarily, or at least until Tumblr calms its shit.
Unfortunately, the blog isn't available just yet... There's still a few things we wanted to clean up to ensure it's safe and easy to navigate, as well as the intro and possibly some extra posts to queue up in the meantime.
I'll let y'all know when the blog is ready to go!
hopefully it won't take too long lol-
I've been having so many shifts lately, especially mental and feral. I guess it doesn't help I've been having a spike in stress (family shit sucks), and I really don't have a good way to vent... I just bottle it up, and it's probably building up.
I'm not really complaining, except for the fact that it makes it physically harder to draw and mentally harder to write. Which... are my main ways to vent. I still manage through it, but damn, it ain't easy.
Oh also, I've been contemplating making a side-blog for 18+ shizzle. Jinx will be running it with me, too. Only thing is, I don't really understand Tumblr's limits for mature content- like... it allows sexual content (obviously with appropriate labels), but what does that specifically mean?
We intend to use the side-blog for suggestive talk, our paraphilias, and most importantly our mature art. So knowing what we can and can't post would be really helpful. If it's too limiting, we probably won't make the side-blog (or just make it private).
Hi, remember when I said I have two new kintypes? Yeah, this is part two of that. I'm still uncomfortable with this kintype, but might as well bite the bullet and just open up about it.
It's (yet another) fictotype, specifically for one of my own OCs, similar to my fyirkin/Xiranoida. This OC is Papyrul from my Undertale AU, Darktale. I've got a lot to say about this... how this is similar to my awakening as Xiranoida, and just the situation itself.
CW: Incest mention, Non-consent mention
How is this similar to my situation with Xiranoida?
Xiranoida, as her character, is a brutal, ferocious behemoth who ruled the skies and mountains with an iron fist (talon?). She isn't just an antagonist, she's a catalyst.
In this case, with Papyrul, it's not so much about him (well, it is, but not completely). It's the stories I've written beforehand. I can't say much about what he does, because... well, this post will get taken down SO FAST. In simplest terms, Papyrul has incestuous relations with Sanz, his brother, that may or may not have been consensual.
So, what's the difference between this and Xiranoida?
With Xiranoida, I actually remembered things differently than what her story says. With Papyrul... I still have that same, initial attraction to Sanz that started everything.
And the reality of the situation...
This doesn't sound that bad, right? It's just an attraction towards a fictional character, even if it's my "fictional brother." Still fictional, not real. Might be obsessive, but still liveable.
Well. Turns out. A week after I discovered this fictotype, guess who slipped into our system? It wasn't just fictional anymore. And it was actually tearing me apart from the inside. I knew what could happen, what I might do to him if I act. It made me physically ill. It gave me headaches for a whole week.
Fortunately, I managed to actually talk to him about this. It was hard but needed to be done. Of course, he isn't 100% sure how to feel, I don't blame him, but at least he's trying to understand. Maybe with this out of the way, I won't hurt him like I was afraid of.
And.... yeah, that's about it, for now. I'm Papyrulkin, this was a serious struggle to actually accept this, I'm still not okay with it, but whatever. This is my life now, I guess. It's either suffering in denial or suffering in acceptance at this point.
I'm still not entirely sure if I should even post about this, but whatever-
CW: Suicidal thought mention, self-harm mention
Things haven't been looking up for me lately. My mental health has been deteriorating rapidly, and I'm honestly scared of how much worse I'll get. I've been having suicidal thoughts and urges to self-harm or run away from my family.
I don't know how to fix this, either. I'm medicated for anxiety, but it isn't working nearly as well as it should. My ADHD and depression are still unmedicated and undiagnosed, and it really feels like my family doesn't care. Or at least they sure as hell aren't making any efforts to show they care.
I'm really sorry to dump this out of nowhere, but I feel like it needs to be said, whether I like it or not. I might drop updates later on, or not, I don't know. I'm just hoping and praying something gets better.
Hello! I'm now comfortable enough to introduce one of my new kintypes (if the pic wasn't obvious enough);
I'm Legosi! Specifically from the manga, not the anime.
Tbh, this kintype was kinda a pleasant surprise. At least a lot better than the other new one. Still not ready to say what it is just yet, it's pretty heavy for me. Hope y'all can understand. :')
Oof, I kinda died for a while on here. My apologies, it's not like I was really busy or anything, just forgot to post- (thanks ADHD! /j)
Sooo I have... news? I'm (once again) questioning. This time, it's two kintypes. One of them, I'm perfectly okay with, the other... is quite problematic, to put it simply....
Kinda hoping the problematic one isn't actually a kintype?? It sparked from an intrusive thought and kinda sent me spiraling, so I'm REALLY hoping otherwise...
I'll keep y'all updated on that. Maybe. If my ADHD lets me remember shit. Adios for now!
It's been a little while, so might as well push out an update.
I finally figured out one thing; I'm Hobgobbler-hearted! I see a lot of myself in them, but I don't really feel like one myself.
I'm also still considering if I'm conceptkin or not. I'm on and off with feeling connected or integral to my written world, Circias, so it might take a while to unravel this.
I've been slowly getting into quadrobics (slower than I want, stupid toe infections-). What little I can do, I'm still really happy with it! I can only walk right now, hopefully I can try trotting soon.
I must've gotten 10 or 15 bots follow my main, and now 3 just replied to my shit. Tumblr please crack down on thisss T~T
also, sorry I've been dead for a while. Just had a really bad blizzard hit us, and apparently, our house is the only one around that could not keep up with heat. My room dropped to 38 degrees F, I couldn't even stay in it for very long without freezing my ass off.
Glad it's a little better now, though. At least I can sit down at my computer and still feel my fingers :'D
