Summary: just a cute fic of the Cameron family being one big happy family and infatuated with you and Rafe’s daughter 🥰
Warnings: breastfeeding (?) apart from that this is all fluff
Word count: 1388
A/n: this was so cute to write 🥹🥹 loved writing the fact that the Cameron family is tight-knit and love one another
MASTERLIST (dad!rafe au masterlist)
divider be @yoonitos
“Got everything?” Rafe glanced back at you, his hands full with bags laden with mostly Mabel’s things. You hummed contentedly, one hand gently adjusting the bucket hat on Mabel’s head while her plushy little hands playfully reached for your face, her giggles filling the air.
“We’re not late are we?” You called out as the two of you boarded the Cameron’s luxurious yacht. “Hmm? Not really, they can wait,” Rafe grinned, glancing around as you shook your head, a soft smile playing on your lips. “They’re here! They’re here!” Wheezie’s voice echoed excitedly from above deck, followed by the unmistakable sound of footsteps rushing towards you.
You shared an amused glance with Rafe as he shook his head affectionately. “Wheezie, slow down!” Sarah’s voice called out in a mixture of exasperation and amusement, just before Wheezie came bounding around the corner, closely followed by Sarah, Rose, and Ward.
“Hey!” You greeted them warmly, arms open for hugs all around. Wheezie and Ward gravitated towards you and Mabel, their faces lighting up at the sight of the youngest Cameron family member.
Wheezie squealed, bouncing up and down in excitement as she gently pinched Mabel’s cheek. “Hey, easy there,” Rafe interjected firmly, earning a glare from his younger sister, though you couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’s okay, Rafe, she’s being gentle,” you reassured him with an affectionate smile, his protective nature endearing as always. “Wanna take her, dad?” you offered to Ward, who nodded eagerly. “May I?” he asked softly, reaching out to cradle Mabel in his arms.
“Of course you can, she’s your granddaughter,” you chuckled, leaning in closer as Mabel reached out to Ward, her little arms outstretched in anticipation. You moved closer to Rafe’s side, his arm instinctively wrapping around your waist, pulling you in close. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his voice low with admiration as he whispered, “They all look so happy.”
Jesus, Sarah. Stop shoving your phone in her face,” Rafe groaned, his tone edged with mild annoyance as he watched Sarah snap yet another 0.5 photo of Mabel. You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the sight, knowing that it was always Sarah’s candid photos of Mabel that Rafe eventually looked back on with a chuckle.
“Send them to me,” you mouthed to Sarah, who winked in response, both of you giggling like schoolgirls. “What are you giggling about, hmm?” Rafe asked, looking down at you with a smile, his irritation quickly fading. “Nothing, nothing,” you said, your smile widening. “Just excited to get to the island and have lunch together as a family again.”
Rafe’s smile softened, appreciating how much you valued these family moments. Before he could say more, Rose chimed in, glancing at her watch. “Okay, I think we should move this upstairs, don’t you think?” she suggested. Everyone agreed, and the group began making their way up to the spacious upper deck. The Bahamas sun was bright overhead, casting a warm glow over the yacht.
“You know, if you ever need a babysitter, I’m right here,” Wheezie offered, linking her arm through yours as you ascended the stairs. She batted her eyelashes playfully, making you giggle at her antics. Rafe, close behind, scoffed. “Yeah, as if I’m letting you look after my kid by yourself.”
Wheezie rolled her eyes dramatically. “And why not?” Rafe gave her an incredulous look. “Remember the time you almost burnt down the house because you wanted to heat up chicken nuggets in the microwave?” Wheezie huffs, “That’s not fair!” She protests, her cheeks flushing. “I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to put metal in the microwave!”
Your jaw dropped in mock horror as you imagined the scene. “Exactly,” Rafe said, patting Wheezie’s head with a teasing smile. “You’re not looking after Mabel by yourself. End of story.” He walked away, leaving Wheezie pouting with her arms folded. You squeezed her arm reassuringly. “Maybe you can help out when I’m around,” you suggested, trying to lift her spirits. Wheezie perked up a bit, her eyes brightening at the idea. “Deal!” she said, grinning.
~
“Guys! You have to tan with me, the UV rays are insane right now!” Sarah called out from one of the outdoor loungers, her phone in hand as she checked the weather app. “I’ll be right there!” you shouted back, finishing up changing Mabel’s clothes. You handed her to Rose and Ward, who eagerly took over entertaining their granddaughter with coos and smiles.
Rafe trailed behind you, intrigued by the idea of getting some sun. He settled next to you on the lounger, stretching out and letting the warmth of the sun wash over him.“How are your boobs not saggy?” Sarah suddenly blurted out as she watches you tie up your hair, her curiosity getting the better of her.
“Sarah!” Rafe hissed, shooting her a disapproving look.“Shit, sorry. Is that a bad thing to ask?” Sarah’s face flushed slightly, realizing the bluntness of her question. You couldn’t help but laugh, finding the situation amusing. Sarah joined in, her laughter a bit more nervous.
“I’m just asking. All my friends said that your boobs begin to sag because your baby is always sucking on them,” she explained, pushing her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose. “Which one of your friends has a fucking baby at your age?” Rafe interjected, his expression one of pure disbelief.
“None of them. They were just saying that,” Sarah shrugged nonchalantly. You giggled, reaching over to rub sunscreen on Rafe’s face where he’d missed a spot. “I think it’s different for everyone. I mean, I hope mine don’t sag,” you said, glancing down at your chest and giving them a light, playful touch.
“You have such nice tits, it’s really unfair, ” Sarah sighed dramatically, leaning back and closing her eyes against the sun. Rafe raised an eyebrow, clearly done with the conversation. “I’m putting my AirPods in,” he announced, inserting them with a huff as you and Sarah chuckled.
~
“Mabel, come here,” Rafe clapped his hands with a gentle yet encouraging tone. Mabel babbled happily, steadying herself before taking a few small, determined steps towards you and Rafe; you were nestled against his chest as you cheered her on.
“Keep coming, sweetie,” you cooed softly, your hands ready to catch her. Eventually, Mabel reached you and crashed into your waiting arms with a squeal. You kissed her chubby cheek affectionately, “Good job, baby girl!” You lifted her up in the air, as she squealed with joy.
Rafe took the moment to take a photo, capturing the pure happiness on both your faces. As Rafe looked through the many photos already taken, you couldn’t help but notice how Mabel lingered close to your chest.
“Are you hungry, bels?” You asked gently, brushing a stray lock of hair away from her face. Glancing at your phone, you noticed it was about time for Mabel’s next feeding.
With Rafe still focused on his phone, a small smile gracing his lips as he looked through the photos of you and Mabel, you adjusted your bikini top and began to nurse Mabel.
Noticing the quietness, Rafe briefly looks down, his eyes widening slightly. “Jesus, kid,” he muttered under his breath, quickly reaching behind him to grab his shirt.
“What? Mabel was hungry,” you said innocently, as Mabel peers up to the both of you. Rafe didn’t mind you breastfeeding in public, if his baby girl was hungry, she was hungry. But he always made sure to help you cover up with a blanket when you puly down your top, his protective instincts kicking in.
Rafe’s gaze darted around, making sure no one was watching. “You should’ve let me know beforehand so I could’ve helped you cover up,” he murmured, adjusting the shirt and to peek at Mabel.
You chuckled softly, appreciating his concern and love. Mabel watched the two of you with wide, curious eyes as she nursed contentedly. "Next time I will," you assured him, reaching over to pat his thigh affectionately.
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Liked by itssarahcameron, christoper_thorton, rosejcameron and 85,208 others
@/rafemfcameron we’ve got the cutest baby 🥰
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rafemfcameron: damn right mamas
↘️ eloise_cameron: I just puked 🤢
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itssarahcameron: SQUISHY
↘️ rafemfcameron: are you calling my kid fat?
↘️ yourusername: HAHAHAHAHA
christoper_thorton: guys let me babysit her again
↘️ yourusername: you tried offering her one of your brownies top….
summary: JJ hard launches your relationship on Instagram after 6 months of dating in secret, for good reason. Now the secret is out and all of Outer Banks knows, including Gossip Girl.
JJ x pogue!reader
Part (22)
Notes: love when girls support girls 🫶🏻 a bit more information of Adam and his background… let me know your thoughts/concerns/theories!
sometimes i think rafe has a madonna-whore-complex. the way he treats wheezie and sofia is sooo different from the way he treats sarah and kiara. it seems like as if he categories women as “harlots” who act out and need to be punished for it or “saints” whom he views as vulnerable and in need for his guidance. i wonder if it has anything to do with how his mother vs rose served as motherly figures in his life
Madonnas, Whores & Rafe Cameron:
a rafe cameron character study
[warnings: discussion of incest and misogyny]
{long post ahead}
Hmn I am a bit wary to classify Rafe as having that. It think it creates more problems and contradictions in his character that doesn’t really fit with my view of him.
Lemme define what it is first:
A concept coined by Freud at the beginning of the 20th century, the Madonna-whore complex (MWC) reflects the tendency of many heterosexual men to see female sexuality in terms of an extreme dichotomy, within which there are chaste Madonnas or promiscuous whores and nothing in between. According to Freud, this complex stems from unsolved sexual feelings; it specifically develops when men experience the affection that they once felt for their mothers with the women they now desire sexually.
For this to be true, he’d have to be sexually attracted to women who he condemns—denouncing and degrading them as whores. And then being psychically impotent with the women he admires— elevating and admiring them as madonnas.
And he’d have to have these reasonings because he can’t differentiate the love and care from his mother with the love and care from a romantic partner, so he represses his affection due to castration anxiety (rooted in incestuous desires toward his mother and competitive feelings toward his father). Or an alternative explanation from Freud is based on:
a man's primary hatred of women, stimulated by the child's sense that he had been made to experience intolerable frustration and/or narcissistic injury at the hands of his mother. According to this theory, in adulthood the boy-turned-man seeks to avenge these mistreatments through sadistic attacks on women who are stand-ins for mother.
So if we consider this in relation to Rafe and his treatment of the women in his life, that would mean he either had incesteous desires for his mother or had terse and negative feelings towards his mother.
And continuing this further, he’d either have to have sexual feelings for Kie and Sarah (and Rose too) or he’d hate them because they challenge him which reminds him of his mother. Then because he actually cares and admires Sofia and Wheezie, he’ll laud them as chaste and pure and virginial.
None of this can actually be backed up cuz we know nothing about the elusive Mrs Cameron, and this theory relies on the notion that Rafe Cameron is a heterosexual male, which means he has a MWC because he only sexually desires women, and that sexuality is skewed into an extreme dichotomy.
My issue with this is, I don’t think he is heterosexual. I think his issues with his sexuality is not in his treatment/view of women (not fully at least) and there are other, more salient and plausible explanations for his contrasting feelings and treatments towards the women in his life.
Let’s move on to more feasible explanations of those contrasting treatments.
ROSE:
You mentioned Rose. I think Rose is such an interesting character!! First of all, I don’t think Rafe views her as a maternal figure, even as a kid. The Cameron children all call her by her name, instead of “mom”, and they just treat her like she’s some rando living in their house. We can assume she’s been with them for a while, since Rose mentioned knowing Rafe as a kid (she could be Ward’s mistress perhaps and that’s how she knows them but idk, she genuinely seems to care for the kids [Wheezie and Sarah at least] so that makes me think she def got with Ward after OG Mrs Cameron was out of the picture, so she sympathises with them…I also think she’s not as evil and vindictive as a lot of the fandom portray her as, she’s just practical.)
And Rafe’s derisive attitude toward her isn’t indicative of a MWC, where she’s the whore in the equation, who reminds him of his mom so he quashes that castration anxiety with feelings of condemnation and condescension. I think he simply views her as an Outsider to the Cameron family. Ward has instilled a very Us and Ours mentality into his kids. (Family stick together, we take care of each other, etc…). So that’s just extended (negatively) into their relationship with Rose. They don’t like her because she’s a replacement for their mom. It’s as simple as that. And when Ward “dies”, Rafe straight away turns on her, accusing her of stealing the gold. That just shows to me his issue with her is not due to her gender/his attraction to her maternity (which thus should present as the whore extreme)…his issue with her is that she’s not family, which means she can’t be trusted.
SARAH & WHEEZIE:
Okay moving on to Sarah. Guys…I just think sibling rivalry is normal😭. Ward, the patriarch, instilled a very gendered and rigid upbringing. The older son had to be responsible and strong while his daughters were treated with more leniency and compassion. And Sarah was obviously the favourite. That is normal in a big family. I think the kids are aware of the parents’ biases, less than the parents. (Okay maybe I’m projecting my own family experiences onto them but I def think it was an accurate depiction of favouritism and a family hierarchy).
I see a lot of ‘Flowers in the Attic’ esque readings of the Cameron’s…but to me, there isn’t that undertone and I’m confused where it came from😭. Like I’m thinking of the Roy’s from ‘Succession’, the Dutton’s from ‘Yellowstone’, when I consider the Cameron siblings. Where there’s this rich, patriarchal instigator who promotes rivalry between his children through different ways, as that means they’ll all strive for his approval and he’ll keep his tabs on them. Rather than a particularly unorthodox and isolated experience leading them (Sarah and Rafe) seeking solace through incest after being forced to care for their younger sibling?? Or Rafe being so jealous of Sarah he seeks out revenge through sexual violence?? I think that’s ignoring the care he has for his sisters (which is minimal I will admit, but it’s still there) and how there isn’t a defining traumatic experience which could’ve pushed their relationship into those waters.
Back to the Us and Ours mentality. It’s always in the back of Sarah and Rafe’s mind that they have to uphold the family, and take care of Wheezie. First of all, that disproves the MWC theory, as Rafe doesn’t always classify Sarah as a whore. And when they “reconcile” he doesn’t suddenly switch and view her as a Madonna. He only holds disdain for her in s1 primarily, when Ward was actively instigating that rivalry. When Ward is gone (s2 boat explosion) that’s when Rafe clocks that he has to take care of the family. So that petty rivalry is gone too. Sarah doesn’t flit between the two extremes of Madonna and whore amidst these changes...I feel as if Rafe treats her in a consistent way. The only outlier in this claim is when he tries to drown her. I think the assertion he has a MWC, and using Sarah as an example, is reductive to their relationship. If there’s any binary that Rafe follows in his treatment of Sarah it’s the Outsider vs Familiar one. Second of all, I think he views her as just competition (which goes away when the instigator is removed from the equation), regardless of her gender, as he comparatively seems chill with Wheezie. I don’t think his contrasting treatments of Sarah and Wheezie is indicative of a MWC or his hatred towards Sarah indicative of a deep set misogyny.
It’s not like he particularly admires or respects Wheezie either, classifying her a a Madonna…I think Wheezie and Rafe can resonate with each other as the ‘black sheep’ of the family. And he also just sees her as an annoying little sister. I see a lot of takes where he’s framed as such a caring big brother who loves and protects Wheezie…but where did that even come from😭?? Like he does the bare minimum. In s1 he takes money from her, then he shouts in her face about John B. Then in s2 he barely acknowledges her, even when their dad “died” and she’s crying. He only interacts with her when he’s trying to show off the cross. And even then he gets pissed off at her for not being more excited. Then in s3 he doesn’t even mention her. And in s4 he does wanna rebuild the family unit, but he knows that Wheezie is safe with Rose, so he doesn’t really intervene as much as he could’ve. Idk…I do think he cares about her, but again, not in that extreme way the MWC delineates, where he completely lauds her.
KIE & CLEO:
In previous posts I’ve talked about the dynamic between Rafe and Kie a lot and I don’t really wanna rehash it because it’s getting tiring tbh😭but the bullet points are: If he did have a MWC, it would mean he was sexually attracted to Kie which thus makes her into this whore persona, explaining his violent/degrading treatment of her. But…I don’t think he is sexually attracted to Kie. I do think his treatment of her is a form of misogyny, but I think it’s unrelated to the MWC. He degrades all the pogues, but his treatment of Kie is different because she is a girl, setting her apart from the others on this list. And I think their dynamic is limited only to that. And his misogyny is also limited to that…rather than their dynamic and his misogyny being indicative of a MWC.
Which leads me to talk about whether or not Rafe Cameron is a misogynist. I don’t think he actively hates women or holds any salient prejudice against them. I think he weaponises misogynistic tactics (like verbal attacks, “you look pretty hot for a pogue” “don’t call your sister a bitch” etc…) to assert power. But then it’s like, he’s still a misogynist right? ( I am NOT a Rafe Cameron defender okay!) Yeah, his actions for sure. But speaking from the perspective of what his interiority looks like, I think he’s smart enough to clock there isn’t any reason to hate all women. He’s very specific and intentional…like berating Kie to get JJ riled up, tryna be closer to ‘his friends’ than Sarah is. But maybe I’m wrong. S1 rafe feels like a very stupid, red-pilled, misogynistic racist. But to me it’s in a rage-bating way. He’d do anything to incite chaos and be a bully, rather than actually, genuinely ascribing to those belief systems (again I am NOT defending himmm!!! Pleaseee!!! Like if he was a real person, idc if he didn’t mean it, he still said/did those things…but he’s a fictional character ok…real life morals don’t apply)
More on the MWC— one of Freud’s explanations for it was that the hatred of women they classify as whores, comes from having suffered narcissistic injury from the mother. Ik Rafe and Cleo don’t have many notable scenes, but that one scene in s2, Rafe doesn’t seem to have any issue at being overpowered and held at gun point & knife point by a woman, or any issue he channels directly towards Cleo. He doesn’t instantly classify Cleo as a whore because his ego is bruised, unlike how he flips on Sofia as soon as he suffers narcissistic injury at her hands…this distinction shows to me that it isn’t the gender which informs his reaction (which the MWC operates on) but Rafe’s interpersonal relationships with people in general that informs his reaction and treatment of the women he’s interacted with.
It’s a weak argument on my end, but I def think if he did have a MWC, or was genuinely a misogynist, he’d have had more of an issue being subdued by a woman in that scene. But his focus was solely on Sarah, again conveying how his main incentive is the Us and Ours mindset propagated by Ward (which is just him tryna get in Ward’s good books…it’s not from some deep set hatred of women or Sarah specifically, but more so from how things look through his father’s eyes…more on that later.)
(Before I continue, I’m not asserting any other complexes or psychological disorders onto Rafe, or replacing the MWC with another Freudian principle. I’m just laying out how I think his sexuality explains his treatment of others and his actions, rather than his sexuality and treatment of others being contingent on the MWC.)
WARD:
Okay, let me get to what I think defines his sexuality, and why I think he doesn’t necessarily fit the bill for the MWC. For it to be true, it would mean Rafe is straight. I headcanon him as an unlabelled bisexual…definitely not 100% heterosexual. That’s why I don’t vibe with the MWC for Rafe. For it to also be true, it would mean his relationship with his mother has to be glaringly broken/unorthodox. There’s nothing signalling to that in the show. Instead, the main disordered parental relationship is Rafe’s relationship with his father, and I think that bond fully explains Rafe’s actions. I’ve laid out how Ward affects Rafe’s relationship with both Sarah and Wheezie, rather than the maternal figure being the primary influence on how he treats them. If anything, I think the absent mother figure strengthens their bond rather than complicates it. The Cameron siblings are all against Rose, and again, it’s Ward who is the reason for Rafe’s treatment of his step-mom (rather than the MWC/his mother).
As aforementioned, I think all of Rafe’s actions and views are filtered through Ward’s eyes. Everything he does post s1 is to appease Ward, or some version of Ward, but the tragedy is, the timing is misaligned. (You can skip the next bit, it’s just a deep dive on Ward and Rafe’s relationship, unrelated to my overarching sexuality point) Lemme explain:
s2 Rafe is trying to desperately appease s1 Ward, by blindly following instructions and being practical and proactive. Except Ward and Rafe are not on the same page, because killing Peterkin changed everything. BUT Rafe is still operating on a different timescale to Ward. To attempt to make things better, he’s finally being the son s1 Ward wanted. Whilst s2 Ward is trying to just protect the family and protect his son, who he’s finally realised has something wrong with him.
Then s3 Rafe is finally doing what s2 Ward wanted of him. To not just be a lackey and “man up” and face his mistakes and get over them. BUT s3 Ward’s changed his tune. He now is looking for penance and redemption and is trying to get his son that too. He cares about the cross, he cares about the wellbeing for his children, he cares about the spiritual aspect of things (“the devils got you son”). But they’re once again misaligned— s3 Rafe has grasped what s2 Ward was trying so hard to retain: Tannyhill, the gold, the Cameron name, the glory.
Moving on to s4 Rafe, Wards finally gone. Rafe’s trying to live up to s3 Ward’s wishes. He’s looking for redemption and healing. He’s sold Tannyhill, he’s rebuilt the church, he’s settled down. It’s the final misalignment and they will never reach that point of seeing eye to eye. Their scene on the plane conveyed this perfectly: “…you’re a good boy…I’m not, I’m not a good boy…yes you are…” the constant back and forth, the foreshadowing to Rafe’s attempt at fulfilling his father’s last words.
Honestly, thinking about this pattern, the way for s5 Rafe to fulfill s4 Ward’s lingering presence, is to live up to his final act: sacrifice. Hmn idk how to feel.
BARRY & SOFIA:
If we consider the murder of Peterkin as the catalyst for Rafe’s altered behaviour, we can contend that before that event, Rafe was never primarily dictated by Ward’s influence. So let’s examine his sexuality before that.
We see Rafe mainly interact with Barry. I think Barry is indicative that he isn’t heterosexual, based on the subtext of their scenes with the themes of ownership and fealty (the branding, “I own you now” etc…). Even if their relationship isn’t explicitly sexual in the show, I think Ward picks up on the undertones. The scene where Ward ousts him from the house after beating up Barry was odd. Why would he beat him up after minimal provocation? It felt overly violent, and Rafe seeing that was an unintentional message to him. That he is weak and any relationship (be it sexual or otherwise) with someone like Barry is demeaning. Barry is everything Ward doesn’t accept– he’s a criminal, a drug user, a pogue. And on top of all that, a man.
Perhaps Ward isn’t homophobic, and it’s all the former qualities he hated. Or perhaps he viewed Barry as a predator preying on his son. But I definitely think through Rafe’s eyes, he clocked how much hatred Ward had for Barry, and he internalised that in whatever way, which thus affected his treatment of Barry (again conveying how it is Ward who shaped Rafe’s sexuality rather than the mother figure/MWC). This event ultimately led him to decline: he was homeless, getting high and becoming paranoid, desperate to get in Ward’s good books, since Ward finally bit the bullet and kicked him out. Which thus led him to murdering Peterkin. And then in s2, we see Rafe’s treatment of Barry drastically changed. He isn’t looking to please Barry or placate him. He mirrors Ward’s treatment of Barry: throwing cash on the ground, being haughty and arrogant and sometimes cruel.
And I also think Rafe’s sexuality, like other aspects of his identity, bifurcates/exists in multitudes. Considering Barry and Sofia have near identical features (dark eyes, dark hair, shorter than him, prominent smile) and how they’re from similar backgrounds (pogue, hispanic[?], from the Cut), it’s clear he has a type. I don’t think his sexuality is particularly influenced by the culture (general and in Kildare specifically).
I’ve talked about this before, but I think he sticks to pogues as it means he can stick to the inherent pride he has over them. Instead of being dictated by misogynistic views, Rafe’s more heavily influenced by classist ones. With Barry and Sofia he can retain his pride and upper hand, as he’ll always have money, which he can leverage against them (which I don’t even think he clocks he does). And again, that’s the attitude Ward has taught him (and Sarah and Wheezie too).
He knows what he likes and what he wants, and he will stick to it. I don’t think he’d (in practice…he speaks a big game though don’t get me wrong) follow the general cultural mentality of getting the “hottest chic” who fits the beauty standard (blonde, conventionally attractive, slim & sexy etc…), and I feel, general customs promotes the MWC, through things like hookup and purity culture (like look at Topper, I think he’s a good example of a typical Kildare kook guy and how they’d treat women, fitting more into the MWC…and we literally see how overbearing his mom is, so if anything, I think Topper def classifies women as Madonnas and whores, rather than Rafe. Look at how Topper treats Sarah…He def holds animosity over her, yet that just seems to increase his sexual desire for her. And since Topper and Rafe have very differing psyches, that just shows me how Rafe doesn’t have a MWC…again weak point, but interesting to think about how their characters differ, when they’re “cut from the same cloth” in terms of upbringing).
So I talked about how Ward’s violence towards Barry affected Rafe’s sexuality, as he changed the way he interacted with Barry throughout s2. So when Ward was finally out of the picture in Guadeloupe, that’s when Rafe finally indulged in his sexuality in s3. We see him return to Barry and be on good terms with him, echoing the banter and affection they had in s1. We also see the introduction of Sofia, the pogue bartender who he can mess around with, without any strings attached– Ward not being there to discourage it, like he did with Barry years before.
Ik a lot of people consider Sofia a “replacement” for Barry, purely introduced to quash talk of rarry. But like…do you really think Rafe and Barry would be an actual couple, like defining each other such? I don’t think so. I think their relationship is definitely not that/much more than that. And it made sense where it ended, when Barry was the catalyst which made Rafe (attempt to) kill Ward…the pinnacle of Rafe’s identity. I also think it’s interesting how Sofia alternatively was the catalyst to save Ward, with their scene on the balcony.
Then moving into to s4, when Ward is finally dead and can no longer influence Rafe in a consistently tangible way— what do we see him do? Get with a pogue. He finally has the space to be with who he wants. It did upset me that Barry was not involved more in s4. I do think Rafe would still have his claws in him, in some capacity…but 18 months is a long time and it’s upsetting how we didn’t get to see Rafe’s development.
But I can see how his and Sofia’s relationship fits into his character. Again, he’s trying to cling to Ward’s final decree…that he is a good boy. So he latches onto the hookup who was sweet to him, and who inadvertently pushed him to save Ward. Again, his actions are antithetical to the MWC. His relationship with someone who should be classified as a whore (Sofia, a girl who he had a fleeting hookup with [sexual attraction equating to denigrating hatred]) transitioned into a loving-ish and committed relationship, which should means he classifies her as a Madonna (thus becoming psychically impotent). But they clearly still fuck (the bikini scene and the literal proposal which doesn’t indicate to me they have any issues in the bedroom).
Idk…I do think he does elevates Sofia in a way, framing her as this faultless, vulnerable figure, like you said. But I don’t think that is FULLY to do with her gender/his view on women. Again, I think it’s more to do with the class disparity. The things he says while her proposes to her is indicative of that to me (“bottom of the barrel pogue bullshit…I want you to quit your job and move in with me” etc…)
We see him have that same saviour mentality with Barry, but less extreme (choosing him to help with the gold…giving him the fancy boat). It may be transactional, but I do think there’s a reason Rafe keeps going back to Barry, even after that initial betrayal. Rafe has a desire to use (or flaunt) his monetary privileges in his relationships, to help them out. (It’s so interesting to point out how he rewards the people who treat him nicely/who he likes…like Ward’s instilled such a transactional sense of love in him. And to just throw money at everything— his problems and his blessings).
BUT I still do agree he thinks with misogynistic “logic”, don’t get me wrong— between Barry and Sofia, Rafe’s treatment of Sofia is decidedly different because of her gender (again he’s misogynistic but not necessarily due to the MWC, and in this case, it’s is more of a benevolent sexism). He kinda sees it as his onus to provide and take care, again mirroring Ward. So he “saves” Sofia from her job and life on the Cut. (But obviously he ends up condemning her when he kicks her out with nothing). Different to how he treats Barry, who he kinda just leaves to take care of himself and shows up every once in a while offering some sorta monetary incentive.
CONCLUSION:
The main thing I wanna highlight is, I’m not saying that Rafe having classist views negates his misogynistic views. I was just trying to explore how his classist views are more relevant to and prevalent in his character, and how they shape that character to a greater degree. And ig I just think that deducing misogyny as being the root cause of all his actions and that being dubbed as canon accurate, is just as lacking in nuance and conjectural as the takes which say he isn’t misogynistic at all (which feels like the discourse this fandom rehashes a lot😭).
Also, I’m not setting out what I think his relationship with his mother was like. Reading this back, I give the impression that he has a “normal” relationship with his dead/absent mom…I do think he houses trauma/grief/a weighty history with his mom, and that has been carried through into his actions and behaviours, but not in the way the MWC determines. Like, for example, I do think Sofia takes on a very maternal role. But I’m hesitant to develop my thoughts because it just sounds like I’m replacing one Freudian dogma with another.
I don’t think Rafe was attracted to his mom (as decreed by the Oedipus complex) BUT since he’s lacking that maternal presence in his life, he subconsciously seeks it out in his relationship with Sofia. And it’s not even to do with gender cuz I believe any parent can be “maternal”…through care and gentle touch, which has been divided into specific, rigid gender roles just by society. Even with Barry, he undertakes that “maternal” role with Rafe. Barry and Sofia both offer advice without judgment. They both console him when he cries. They’re both very physically affectionate with him. Which conveys to me there’s definitely a distinct empty space where a mother’s love should be. And Ward didn’t fulfill that with Rafe, which led him to seek it out in people who do.
I think people over complicate his character sometimes, and I struggle to grasp it. It feels just as pseudoscience-y as Freudian theory (presented as scientific/true without any of the methodology and evidence to back it up [yeah yeah ik headcanons can just be whatever, but sometimes I feel like people just be pulling things out of thin air, acting as if it’s irrefutably true😭])
Final thoughts…If you’ve read this far, thank you😭!! He’s a fun character to consider. And this feels relevant considering all the back and forth on sexist!rafe that I keep seeing in the tags. I’d be open to discussion (maybe not cuz I feel like I’ve yapped sm). And in all honesty, his arc is so clunky and disordered, but I tried to make sense of it, rather than simply condemning it as being ooc and bad writing. I think with this show, you gotta do a lot of heavy digging and reading between the lines. I think that’s the reason why there’s sm discordant opinions. But I tried to back mine up with reasoning so you can see where I’m coming from. I feel like a lot of people just say their headcanons/theories that are oftentimes so divergent from my own thoughts, without any context and I’d love to know the reasons why sometimes, to see if I can understand it. So that’s what I tried to do with my thoughts!! Sorry anon for taking so long, but thank you for the spring board!!
