#rougemind

[makingspiritualityreal]

rougemind powiedział(a): Wow! Where do you live dear? :)

I live in Poland. Snow usually doesn’t come until late November, sometimes it even doesn’t happen until January and Christmas is often snow-less since the climate got considerably warmer during the years. So we are all shocked here. What’s even more shocking is the fact that the weather forecasts say there will be 16 d. C next week. It’s like having winter one week and sumer the next! Crazyyyy

[canitt]

rougemind a reblogué ce billet depuis votre blog et a ajouté :

Your cat is super cute! :)

:) i knoooow he’s life, thank you

[rlttc]

In response to sengenji's question regarding my previous post about bookstore campaign, whether Yoneda Kou's original Valentine's day paper is available in Shinjuku. Regarding the Valentine paper, Nippan haven't provided a list of participating stores. However, in Shinjuku area, there are large bookstores in the area with BL selections such as Forest(Kinokuniya) and Animega(Marui Annex), which often participate in this type of campaign. Look for the above POP for the campaign, or ask the sales clerk whether the store is participating.

Also, about the Cherry Blossom viewing paper(no sample yet), provided for the Taiyo Tosho Animate campaign, you can get it at Animate Shinjuku. FYI, Forest and Animate are close by, and Animega is about 10 minutes walk away.

Hope you'll be able to get the paper you want :)

[rlttc]

　So it’s my second weekend since receiving the volume 2 of Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai drama CD. I’ve been listening to the CD, while either reading the manga or looking at voice actor’s faces. Life is good :D I think many of you in the fandom also have the CD, and enjoying it.

　This week, I even prepared a can of lemon squash, to taste the same sweet and sour drink with Yashiro and Doumeki. The other day, I was chatting with Rougemind about the drama CD, and developed a huge craving for the drink. Thank you my dear fangirl friend, for the inspiration! I couldn’t resist going out to look for the exact can Yoneda Sensei drew, and here I am, all prepared to enjoy the drama CD further. Yes, I’m a happy nerd when it comes to things like this.☆:*･ﾟ(●´∀｀●):*･ﾟ☆

 More useless rambling and my favorite parts in the drama CD under the cut

 Every scene in the drama CD was well made, esp the acting was superb! There were scenes that strengthened the feels I got from the manga, and some that brought new feels. I picked up some of my faves as a personal note, so the time count could be different depending on the software. Also, pls excuse my version of translation which could be either the same or different from others. Finally, this got so long, so I’m posting the scenes for Chapters 4-7.

   Chapter 4: 7:05-9:55 Yashiro at Kageyama clinic

 Nanahara reveals his natural side, when he mentions the “erotic cosplay” with Doumeki, and gets kicked by Yashiro again. Around 7:20 Yashiro calls out to Kageyama, his voice seems to carry a special emotion. When Yashiro ask Kage for free medical service, it reminded me of Deguchi, who always joked that Onoda should buy him dinner. Like Deguchi, Yashiro seemed to want a special favor from someone he secretly loves.

 From 9:09 Yashiro thanks Kageyama for the help, then harass him by bringing up his sex life with Kuga. The lightness in the tone reminded me that Yashiro has given up on becoming Kage’s special person. I also imagined how Doumeki quietly listening to the conversation, wondering about Yashiro’s true feeling behind the mask of an old friend.

  Chapter 4: 11:00- Cosplay at Yashiro’s place

 Yashiro doesn’t have much monologue in volume 2, and we don’t know his exact feelings. To me, Yashiro sounds sincere when he says “Honestly, you really look good in that outfit” and “Wonder what kind of face, a posh police officer wears during sex”. I was convinced that Yashiro thinks Doumeki should return to the non-Yakuza world where he belongs, therefore forced him wear the uniform. It also reminded me of Yashiro eaves dropping and taping Kage’s sex act with Kuga. Yashiro seems to think whoever he gets interested, doesn’t belong to him. His wish is to watch them having sex with someone else, which is painful just to imagine.

There is a clear change in tone of voice at 11:22 “Just kidding” “You can’t show me. You’re impotent”. He switches to a light tone, as if to make a joke about the entire conversation, which hints that he actually meant what was said earlier. In 12:23 Doumeki asks why Yashiro wants to dress him in uniform, and Y answers “Isn’t it obvious? I wanted an erotic play with a cop”, then smoothly continues to emphasize that he only thinks about dirty things.

But the “huh?” at 12:50 showed he was caught off guard. When Doumeki asks whether Kage was his “special person” to him, Yashiro remains quiet. There was a minor change from the manga in this scene. Instead of recalling Yashiro’s prior word “It was the only time I fell for a human being, neither before nor after”, in the drama CD, Doumeki says “The person you mentioned before, isn’t he?” quotes Yashiro’s line about before nor after, then continues with “Is he your special person?”

I was impressed how Doumeki could corner Yashiro without mentioning a name, even a profession, referring only as “that person”. Doumeki doesn’t say outright that Yashiro loves him either, and just says he must be the “special” (literal translation is ‘important’ ) person. It squeezes my heart to imagine Doumeki can’t even use the word “love”. I also had an impression that Doumeki wasn’t asking out of curiosity nor to get an upper hand. Rather, if the doctor was important to Yashiro, he will be important to Doumeki too. The big guy would probably respect and protect the doctor if need be.

 At 13:15, Yashiro cuts off the conversation pretending to be annoyed by all the questions, and not answering directly but in effect admitting to it. He is good at acting out what is expected of him, but doesn’t seem to be experienced in confronting his emotion like this. I thought the tone of voice was halfway between being cold and business like, to open and revealing. Yashiro wasn’t sure why he didn’t admit to it nor dodge the question, as he says in the next chapter, so Shingaki’s suppressed acting matched the stream of events in the story.

   Chapter 5: 5:00-7:50 Doumeki’s first time

 I was totally impressed by Shingaki Tarusuke's wide variation in Yashiro’s voice within this short passage. Yashiro taunts Doumeki to try the soapland, since he may get hard with a favorite type of women. Yashiro’s “Heee— (Hmm)” when Doumeki disclosed he liked “women with beautiful legs”, showed a bit of disappointment.

 Then Yashiro taunts and forces Doumeki to tell the story of his first time with the school doctor. Yashiro gets excited, and his breathing getting heavy…it’s natural but soooo sexy, that it is believable that even a guy with ED will get hard. My imaginary Doumeki was almost bursting. No matter he had to lie.. lol

  Chapter 5: 9:49-15:45 Ryuzaki vs Yashiro

I think Ryuzaki is terrifying in his typical Yakuza-style manner, but also think he is cute, when he gets easily talked in by Yashiro. When the two bosses quarrel over the brawl between their subordinates, Ryuzaki is a old fashioned Yakuza boss, while Yashiro is the modern "intelligent" Yakuza, confronting him with a cool attitude. Around 12:00 Ryuzaki threatens Doumeki who is doting over Yashiro, but D doesn’t budge. Ryuzaki is like a teenager to overreact like that, and that’s why I think Yashiro’s joke about being jealous hit the bull’s eye.

 At around 13:45 Yashiro and Ryuzaki locks in themselves to have a “talk” which develops into a yummy part around 15:45 included in the sample recording. My impression is that Yashiro is desperate to get off his heat and the frustration, since he couldn’t jerk off in the morning while listening to Doumeki’s story. The spanking and the violent words just seems to add to the excitement, and Y was taking advantage of Ryuzaki’s body. Just like when Yashiro called over a police guy after Kage visited his office, Yashiro was thinking of Doumeki doing it with women. BTW the sound effect when Ryuzaki bit Yashiro’s nipples sounded painful, as if it was bitten off. lol

  Chapter 6: 2:40-3:30 Doumeki’s monologue

 After the affair between Yashiro and Ryuzaki was exposed, Doumeki’s confessing his feelings. He lied that morning about not remembering the “first time”, because he was afraid to get hard if he kept on watching Yashiro’s face. Doumeki vows to do anything for Yashiro, and never disprove of his action, in order to stay close to him.

 He speaks quietly, but we can see he has come a long way, from entirely losing sexual desire, to suppressing his arousal. The change in him was caused by Yashiro. Also, in the beginning of the story, Doumeki just liked to watch Yashiro, now he promised himself to do anything to stay close. I believe that, to Doumeki, Yashiro has become a reason for living.  

 Chapter 6: 3:50- 6:10 Misumi in Yashiro’s office

 I really like Misumi and Yashiro’s conversation here. Both of them seem to be frank with each other, not having to act out any role than themselves. So at 4:27, Doumeki enters the room, we can hear the change in Yashiro’s tone, as if to show off that he sleeps around with anyone. “It’s okay with me, anytime. Come to think of it, it’s been a while”.

 Around 4:50 after Misumi mentions “You’ve never even once, slept with someone you fell in love” Doumeki’s hand mixing the drinks stops, and Yashiro starts to slide over the subject. Misumi could see Doumeki is unsettled by this, and certain that he’s made his point. He probably saw Doumeki’s devotion, expected that they were sleeping, and tried to demotivate him by telling Yashiro’s heart belongs to someone else. But the whole thing backfired, and Misumi realized that Doumeki’s attachment is not physical but emotional, which is more dangerous. So Doumeki is probably on the top of Misumi’s black list, and he should be extra careful, when he’s alone on the train platform... lol

 BTW, Misumi probably researched in detail around Yashiro to know so much about him. I mean, why would you know that Kage was Yashiro’s only love, and that they never slept? Yashiro could have spoken some of it, but probably not all. Misumi is a doting parent now, but he could be an overpowering one if Yashiro tries to escape he guardianship. it's scary to imagine..

  Chapter 6: 11:10-12:35 Yashiro’s phone call

 Yashiro calls Doumeki, and discovers he is drinking with Kage and Kuga. Doumeki’s rare casual language, Kuga’s teasing and Kage’s concern made Yashiro jealous and curious enough to join(spoil) the party. When Kuga asked him to lend Doumeki, Yashiro threw out niceties at 11:45 “Don’t you dare say borrow, you brat”. I thought the quick change in tone to his favorite recruit showed he was getting possessive of Doumeki. lol

Chapter 7: 8:20-10:25 Doumeki’s shoe scene

My favorite scene in volume 2 of Tankobon! After realizing how Kageyama thinks of him, Yashiro is deep in thought on the way back from the clinic. Despite Kageyama’s words, Yashiro thinks he is grown mature, from being a high school brat who can’t empathize with anyone. I could be biased, but the way he says Kageyama’s name seems to carry less emotion than before.

The shoe scene starts around 9:20, with Yashiro’s “Baaka(idiot)” at 9:40, showing his fondness to the clumsy guy. Being a drama CD, we obviously can’t see how beautiful Yashiro is, and how he stands there with a special shine (under Doumeki vision, blinded by love ) but through Doumeki’s monologue starting from 9:50, we can see how D sees Y. Also, Doumeki is so clearly in love, but can’t name his emotion yet, and it’s frustrating yet beautiful..

  Chapter 7: 11:25-14:15 The movie theater

The scene starts off with “Oh, what an impressive boob job”, a line improved in the Tankobon. Then Yashiro asks Doumeki whether he likes big boobs, but when D replies that he doesn’t dislike it, Y seems uninterested in the vague answer, perhaps even a bit displeased. Interesting, to wonder what kind of answer was expected. A “yes, I get turned on by big ones” or a “no, I prefer modest ones”?? I suspect Yashiro brought him here, expecting to turn on a straight guy with pornography. What he didn’t know was that Doumeki wasn’t stimulated by the women, but the memory of Yashiro’s face and voice during sex. Just a brief cut of Yashiro’s voice around 11:43 is so sexy, was enough to imagine Doumeki’s worry about getting hard.

 So when Yashiro offers to blow him, Doumeki didn’t have a choice but to decline. D’s “…” around 12:00 is so pitiful, it’s amazing how much emotion was put into the grunting noise. The lemon squash scene starts around 13:00, Yashiro throws a can of drink to Doumeki saying “Here you go” as an added line, and Doumeki catches with a grunt. Yashiro grumbles about guy in the counter, but D must have been releaved that he wasn’t so pissed after all, and returned to the seat instead of blowing a random guy. Only after Yashiro says he “forgives” Doumeki, he looks at the drink and utters “Lemon squash” at around 13:40, another additional line. I like how Doumeki anticipates the taste of the drink before taking a sip, and the unsaid word leaves a strong impression.

 With a can of lemon squash in his hand, Doumeki says "I know the taste that spreads in the mouth" then pulls the ring on the can, "it's sweet and a little " then Yashiro leans his head on Doumeki’s shoulder to sleep. I checked the manga of this scene(posted as the second pic), Doumeki is a bit blushed and happy at first, but a bit sad on the second frame. I think the point is the unsaid word, which must be "sour". I think D feels the sweet sensation of having Yashiro relaxing in his warmth, but with a pang in the heart since (he thinks) Yashiro’s heart belongs to someone else.

 That’s why the drink had to be lemon squash, sweet but sour maybe even a touch bitter.. so it wasn’t coffee, nor coke, it had to be lemon squash with a cute design that doesn't match the porn theater. In Japan, first kiss and first love is associated with lemon, with a typical expression like "first love is sweet and sour like lemon". 

 My feels were confirmed when I took a sip of the same drink while listening to the CD and reading the manga. It tasted like a regular lemon squash, just like first love should taste like(^_-)-☆　So I had the privilege to enjoy the work by using all of my senses. lol

[anonimjeden]

It's "11 questions meme" time!

Rules: Rule #1: always post the rules. Rule #2: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked, then write 11 new ones. Rule #3: tag 11 people then link them in the post. Rule #4: tell them you tagged them. Rule #5: tell the person that tagged you when you’ve answered the questions. Questions from my dear, dear Rouge ♥ 1. What’s something most people don’t know about you? In RL? Me reading yaoi. 2. What was your life like growing up? It was a decent one, I think, though I prefer my childhood (aaahhhh, 2 month summer holidays by the seaside) to adolescent years, which were rather turbulent, full of uncertainty and shyness... 3. What are some of the first things you do in the morning? I wake up to my alarm clock, just to set it to a half an hour later, then a half an hour later, then a half an hour later... I eat breakfast, while watching the latest news. 4. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? Bipolar Disorder. It started early, when I was 17 and messed up my life I can't count how many times, e.g. forcing me to quit four jobs, while being depressed. 5. Do you cry easily? No. Last time I cried a year ago, but only once. But I know I'm prone to cry my heart out watching anime or movies about parenting. When I see a parent, who'll do anything for his/her child, I can't stop myself, but cry. 6. How do you feel about public speaking? I can manage, though my hands and my voice trembles. 7. What’s your favorite joke? Sorry, my memory is a bad one, can't remember any good jokes, sorry, sorry. 8. How would you explain your basic life philosophy? "Be here and now", be concious of the moment, no dwelling in the past. 9. If someone were to make a movie about your life, who would you hope would play you? Me or Julie Delpy. 10. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try? First thing that comes to my mind is movie directing. 11. Do you have any unusual fears or phobias? It's nothing serious, but I feel afraid while walking by the sea with legs in the water when it's getting dark and when the water is darker than the sand and the water is warm like a living creature that can pull you by the legs into the depths. And now a set of questions from awesome maneleleina ♥ 1- what do you think of your parents? They are ok, made a few serious mistakes, but show me the person, who's not making them. 2- if you were on the edge of breaking who’ll you be calling? When I'm on the edge of breaking, it's too late for any calls. 3- when you’re upset about something what do you do to releive the stress? I go to sleep. 4- are you okay with someone searching in your personal staff? Yes, I am ok, though it may be a difficult task as half of my personal staff is stored in perfect order and the other is in a complete mess, in which only I know how to find something. 5- your fav manga and mangaka? Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai and Yoneda Kou ♥♥♥ 6- what is your biggest regret in your life ? Not starting university studies and not saving money to buy my own flat. 7- describe your blog in  one word? Fandom. 8- what do you think about censoring scenes  in a gore anime? I've never watched anything like that, but I think the creators are not pleased with censoring and I generally don't like censoring, so no censoring. 9- what’s your deam for now at least? To go back in time with my present knowleage and start anew. 10- if you were in the middle of talking and the person you dislike interrupt you what would you do? I'm a polite person, so I would listen to him/her. 11- what’s your opinion about what’s going in gaza? I'm deeply saddened by the situation. If I had the power, I would make a peace in the world.

These are 11 questions from me:

1. From where you are sitting/lying now, can you see the sky? 2. You meet yourself in 10 years, what would you like to tell yourself? 3. What dessert would you recommend to others right now? 4. What's your favourite movie and why? 5. Have you got any bad habit you'd like to break? 6. Who's your favourite comic hero? 7. Mac or Windows? 8. What's your favourite perfume/fragrance? 9. What is happiness for you? 10. Short or long hair? 11. Promise me you'll be good to yourself, ok?

And I tag:

calee-francis

megareika

uru-san

tatsuki-kosho

sasakiharada

yashirofan

sakurachan75

shibitobana

things-all-love

obake-kuroneko

maryvel-chan

[doumekichikara]

tagged by rougemind :) !

Rules:

Rule #1: always post the rules. 

Rule #2: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked, then write 11 new ones.

Rule #3: tag 11 people then link them in the post.

Rule #4: tell them you tagged them.

Rule #5: tell the person that tagged you when you’ve answered the questions.

1. What's something most people don't know about you?

i'd guess that 95% of my followers on this blog know almost nothing about me actually lmao so i could probably say just about anything here...i'll go with this: my preferred organizational systems involve everything being out where i can see it, so instead of using a dresser to store my non-hanging clothes i have a system of shelves and shoeboxes. (similarly, instead of a desk with drawers i have a table with more shelves and shoeboxes underneath.)

2. What was your life like growing up?

i had a pretty decent childhood! my parents divorced when i was four and had split custody of me and my younger brother after that, so my childhood involved a lot of shuffling back and forth between their homes.

3. What are some of the first things you do in the morning?

i always check my email (and sometimes twitter and tumblr) on my phone while i'm still in bed. then i go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and wash my face, then breakfast and usually coffee. aside from that it generally varies day-to-day; on sunday, for example, i always watch the new haikyuu while i eat breakfast.

4. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

the death of a loved one. i'd rather not get into the specifics on this blog, but i was sixteen and it was sudden.

5. Do you cry easily?

nope! well, in some situations yes (i find emotional music very moving and will sometimes tear up at things that aren't even sad simply because the soundtrack is getting to me) but in general no. e.g. i recently saw a sad movie w/ my friend and she sobbed and half the theater sobbed but i didn't cry at all.

6. How do you feel about public speaking?

it's not the worst thing but i prefer to avoid it when i can. if i know what i'm talking about really well i'm generally fine and come across as confident, but if i have to talk about something that falls outside my areas of expertise i tend to be a nervous mess.

7. What's your favorite joke?

let's go with my favorite bad japanese pun:

Q：パンダは何を食べるかな…

Ａ：あ、パンだ！

("I wonder what pandas eat... Ah, bread!" because 'bread' in japanese is 'pan'...and then you have the 'da' sentence-final particle....i love bad puns)

8. How would you explain your basic life philosophy?

'follow your passions' puts it pretty succinctly, i think. chase things that make you happy. devote your time to whatever you find personally important.

9. If someone were to make a movie about your life, who would you hope would play you?

i'm biracial and i would just hope that whoever played me was the same mix as me. i don't see very many mixed-race actors and it would be particularly upsetting if i were misrepresented in that regard.

10. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try?

i would love to try my hand at directing or otherwise being involved in the creative process of making live theater come about. it's not something i love enough to actively pursue as my real career, but i've always been curious about it and i do think i'd enjoy it.

11. Do you have any unusual fears or phobias?

nothing particularly unusual, just your standards like 'losing loved ones' or 'rejection/abandonment' and the like.

questions for anyone who wants them:

What's your favorite season and why?

List five things that are around you right now.

What's the most delicious thing you've eaten recently?

What's your favorite TV show? What makes it your favorite?

Do you have/want any tattoos? Describe them.

What's your current desktop background?

If you had $250 to spend on/put towards a single thing, what would you buy?

What position do you lie in when you sleep? (On your back/side/stomach?)

Where (that you've never been) would you like to visit?

If you were to dye your hair, what color would you dye it?

List five things you like about yourself.

[occultdawn]

Tagged

So I was tagged by no-problem-its-alright, thank you so much dear <3333 this is fun xD

Okay so these are the rules :

Rule #1: always post the rules. 

Rule #2: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked, then write 11 new ones.

Rule #3: tag 11 people then link them in the post.

Rule #4: tell them you tagged them.

Rule #5: tell the person that tagged you when you’ve answered the questions.

1. If you were going to write a book, what would you call it and what would it be about?

Hmm, I would never be able to write a book but if I could it would be about anxiety and panic and its disorder to explain people that have it that they are not alone, that I know how terrifying it is, that they are not crazy for thinking the way they do when having an attack because everyone who passed through that had the exact same thoughts, how overwhelming it can be..for the body and mind..I don't know if I am explainning myself right but I thought I was going insane the first years I had it but it's okay because I wasn't and there is nothing wrong to ask for specialyzed help it's acually a good thing and I would like to pass that message ....don't know about the name though.

2. If you could visit any country in the world, where would you go?

Well this oe is really hard cause I would love to visit so many countries..but yeah I would love to go to Japan.

3. What are some things that make you really happy?

oh I'm one of those that simple things can make me all happy and warm inside, watching a good movie wrapped in my blanket i my couch with my cats xD, a hug, a smile, watching anime and playing games, talking and being with the people I love, music..a simple walk, a message even if it's simple..

4. What’s your favorite color?

Black

5. What are you wearing right now?

leather black Boots, leather black shorts, leggings black too and a black t-shirtXD

6. If you could learn one random skill, what would you learn?

Definitely a Martial art, Aikido or Kendo.

7. What is the biggest lie you have told?

I lie everytime people come to me to know about what others say to me specially if I notice some malice on it, I hate when I'm being scout to others know what is going on.

8. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done?

I was dancing and made a stupid move and my pants ripped off all the way from the ass to the front and all the class saw it.

9. What is the biggest amount of money you have given away?

around 500€

10. What kind of animal would you be?

I would be a cat, a lazy one xDD

What is lying beside you right now?

an apple, bottle of water, my phone

------

my questions:

1. If you have one wish and you know it would come true, what would it be?

2. Do you believe in the zodiac? Why?

3. What/Who is your spiritual animal?

4. If you win the lottery right now, what would you do first?

5. Do you like where you live?

6. If the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?

7. What's your fave band?

8. What are you wearing right know? (I know it's the same from the other but it's fun to ask :P)

9. What do you do to calm yourself?

10. Do you believe in fate?

11. Please smile and I hope you have a good day if not, tomorrow is a new one so go for it ok?

[rlttc]

There are not many monologues in Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai. On top of it, Doumeki shows little expression and doesn’t speak much, so we’re not quite sure what he has in mind. In Chapter 12, Doumeki...

Hi Saezuru friends! thanks for your opinions on my little post on Doumeki. As always, I am not trying to guess everything about Saezuru, but having fun with expressing my opinions and theories. I'm so glad to hear your comments which sheds new lights on the thought process.

I have more thoughts on Doumeki, which is still boiling, and hope to post it when I come up to conclusion. which reminds me of other theories I have been cooking for some time, but anyway, I will post them along the way, when I am ready.

 echozwei

I smiled when I imagined Doumeki being a mother for Yashiro.. what a cute sight! But Doumeki can probably only watch Yashiro do things, and won't be able to scold or talk him into something. So seems like Yashiro need to take care of himself, if he wants to live longer..

ladyivorypale,

as I wrote in my post, I agree that Doumeki's top priority is to stay by Yashiro's side, but Yashiro is not the type to give detailed explanations or orders. Since Doumeki broke the door and beat up the guys before Yashiro gave orders, I was worried that he may shoot Ryuzaki in a similar manner.

what he said in Chapter 8 about willing to be a "bullet" means, in the act of battle between the Yakuza, he is ready to pull the trigger, and either gets shot and die, or goes to prison for the act(or on behalf of the higher rank Yakuza). normally the guys in the lowest rank is expected to take up this role, so if he becomes a formal member, and an all out war starts with another Yakuza group, Doumeki is likely to become a "bullet".

Rouguemind

About whether Doumeki is responsible of  Yashiro getting shot, I don't personally think he is responsible and Yahiro isn't blaming him, but I believe Doumeki himself feels so, (as well as the rest of the Yakuza). I think that's why Doumeki cried when he sneaked into the hospital. The fact that Yashiro made clear he wasn't blaming Doumeki, must have been a great relief.

We have to remember, he is a bodyguard in a Yakuza group, and his job is to stay beside Yashiro. As Misumi mentioned in the hospital, Yashiro is a kind of guy who needs to be guarded even if he was there for appendicitis. Even if Yashiro was all alone, Doumeki won't be able to escape the blame entirely, and since they were together, the bodyguard would be responsible. As Nanahara mentioned, if a Yakuza bodyguard fails, there are only two choices. To be beaten up half to death and get fired, or take responsibility, cut off a finger and stay in the Kumi. That's why Doumeki chose the latter. (><)

As for Doumeki's feeling about his sister, you're keen to notice my point! It's an opinion more than a theory, but it's a little complicated so I'll try to write it up on a separate post.