Libra- If you could talk to your past self, what would you tell yourself?
“I think I would tell my past self to always persevere, to never give up on her dreams.”
Though Forte knew she wanted to be a knight from a young age, really as long as she could remember, there were times when her self-doubt was all-consuming. Doubt began seeping into her every thought just after her brother was born. As much as she loved him, and she loved him dearly, there were times when she became jealous of how eager her father was to teach his son the way of the sword. It had taken so much pestering to get her father to teach her. Why was it so easy for him? Was it simply because he was a boy?
As she first came to this realization, hot tears stung at her eyes. Out of all the reactions she could have, she certainly didn’t want to cry, but the tears wouldn’t stop. It was imperative then that she wasn’t seen, and she found a quiet place to hide and cry. This was the first time in her life she cried like this. Not because she scraped her knee, or fallen out of a tree. No, this time her heart hurt.
And it didn’t stop. Not for a long time. Eventually her sadness turned to apathy. Though she had always loved the sword, her heart simply wasn’t in it anymore. All that time training, and for what? She felt lost.
It had become apparent, especially to her ailing mother, that she had lost her passion. Even as young as she was, Forte had always been a passionate, driven little girl. It was odd for her to simply give up on something.
It wouldn’t until her mother lay on her deathbed that Forte might admit this. Painfully so, but she owed her mother the truth. And it was her mother who led her back to the true path of knighthood. Though her life slowly faded away from her, her words dispelled any doubt that remained.
It took her mother’s dying words to bring her out of her fog of self-doubt. Sometimes though, she wished she hadn’t burdened her mother so in her final moments.