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was being chosen worth it?

I'm alive! Barely, finals are killing me. I haven't had the time to draw for myself for a while. You can clearly see I stopped this piece half way, sorry, I started the fist half before the finals, and the second one just today😔 (they did not end yet help). I am very tired right now and drawing my fav ship being miseble won't help, but maybe I finish it someday! Desculpa qualquer coisa kkkkkkkkkkkkk

#tokyo debunker #tkdb fanart #tkdb #rui mizuki #tokyo debunker mc #rui mizuki x mc #Ruitoku

the party ended an hour ago and he's still there

#tkdb fanart #tkdb mc #rui mizuki #ruitoku #rui mizuki x mc #ruitoku siempre serás amado #esto es super viejo pero por fin me animé a subirlo :heart:#doodle #aku archive

If I'm going to die anyways, I want you to be the one to kill me.

#tkdb #ruitoku #rui mizuki #tokyo debunker #jules draws things

Rui came off really strong for MC at first (a part of me thinks this is a deliberate move) but I feel like he gets a lot milder as the story progress. He's still a huge flirt but he doesn't really sound as brazen as around the time he first met and interacted with MC imo. or maybe i'm just remembering wrong.

#ruitoku #there's always something about rui that feels.... not honest? idk if that's the correct word #i'm not calling him a liar or claiming all his pleasantries are fake or thinking that he is shallow (like ren think he is lol)#but he's clearly the melancholic kind who hides his own heart behind a heavy mask #perhaps it's easier for him to act like that with strangers other people especially girls always prefers nice guys #and that's why rui is so good at handling girls #but then mc came into the picture and rui realizes putting on a mask and “faking pleasantries” for someone you actually care about is hard #so he tries to be more genuine with mc bc he cares about her and he wants to throw all that tatemae bs when he's with her #except that because how he was with mc at the beginning (coming off too strong) mc just brushes off his advances一thinking he isn't serious #and it's all just lip service #and rui only has himself to blame for that #ruirui doomed from the beginning i'm afraid........

Thing is, the whole problem doesn't even lie entirely on Rui一MC is also partially responsible.

MC is at the time on her life where love and romance is probably the last thing in her mind. No matter which ghouls expressed romantic affections for her, there's a very high probability that she'd still reject them (regardless of her own feelings towards the ghoul). She wants to focus on trying to break her curse first and foremost.

But the difference between Rui and... let's say for example: Jin and Lyca一is that Jin and Lyca aren't the kind of people who would put on a mask to hide their own feelings. Or even if they do try to hide them, they're not very good at it.

※ Using Jin and Lyca as comparison specifically because there are instances where Rui were hinted to be envious of those two's relationship with MC.

Jin is emotionally constipated. He's distant and tries to keep everyone at an arm's length. He also say things一cruel things一that can be misunderstood and hurt the people he cares about. But as if to make up for that shortcomings, his affection bleeds through all of his actions for them.

He may hide his feelings with cruel and harsh words but his actions speak louder than his words. He wouldn't go through all that trouble if he doesn't actually gives a rat's ass about MC. Would help if he's a bit more kinder about it tho... ┐(´д｀)┌ C'mon, Jin... *pokes him repeatedly*

Lyca is even more amazing on this part. He's very earnest and honest with his own feelings一always wearing his heart on his sleeves even when the world punishes him for it.

Lyca's kind and compassionate dispositions are the things that touch MC's heart and made her often worries about him. He never lie about what he truly thinks and speaks his mind freely whenever he has the chance. This is one of the reasons why MC feels comfortable around him.

And that is exactly what Rui lacks: the fortitude of being honest with one's own heart一to lay his feelings bare and show it through actions.

This isn't to say Rui isn't sincere or that all the thing he's done and said are fake and not from the heart, no. In fact it's the opposite. Rui is a very kind and empathetic person. Maybe even a little too kind. Which is a very cruel irony since the narrative seems to hint that all the unfortunate things happening in his life stemmed from his own gentle, selfless heart.

#ok i admit using jin as one of the examples of someone who is honest with their feelings is kind of stupid and disingenuous #because this is jin “nuclear tsundere” kamurai we're talking about #but i THINK if we consider seeing things from rui's perspective..... jin...... can be viewed as someone who's honest.... maybepossibly #if we stretch the truth a lil bit.........#like if we consider that rui's a bit insecure about the whole thing..... he might have a distorted view of jin and mc's relationship #a bit off tangent but if we go with the theory that a ghoul's stigma is related to their wish #rui's stigma has the power to ease someone from their pain #you can draw your own conclusions from there #and like i really doubt a grim reaper could fall in love with a mortal like rui unless he's genuinely a kind and selfless individual.....#(or maybe i'm just pushing my own idealized view of rui idk!! sometimes i have rose tinted glasses when i look at him)#while we're on the topic sho goes to the same category as jin and lyca #while haku is in a similar place as rui #haku still has more advantages tho bc he wasn't as brazen as rui at the beginning #ruitoku #kamutoku #raitoku

i just know it kills rui inside knowing that mc won't blame him for what happened.

#ruitoku #last chance he gets to be mc's knight in shining armor and he messed it up catastrophically #then he starts thinking if he hadn't stopped mc to ask fo jin's help would jin be able to pull it off一killing the kyklos without hesitation?#and then he starts spiralling and i'm spiralling too let's both kill ourself rui #the way his resolve broke bc he was too kind too empathetic too gentle aUGH RUIRUI I'M SO ILL!!!!!!

RuiToku and MioToku are the MC ships where MC needs to take a more proactive role if she wants the relationship to even develops at all. Those two are so used to burying their own desires一sometimes even to the point of compromising their own feelings and well-being一for the sake of the people they care about. The kind of selfless guys who would sincerely think, "It doesn't have to be me. As long as she's happy......"

So unless MC be the selfish one, breaking down the wall they build around their heart, and say it square to their face: "No, it has to be YOU!"..... We'll be stuck in a perpetual state of will they won't they.

#ruitoku #miotoku

Did I make the wrong choice back then? Was I just doomed from the very start? Was I a fool for simply wishing to save you? Please answer me

If I know it'd be this painful, I wish I never know this feeling It'd be better if I can just throw my love away And yet I'm still so happy that I met you I know nothing will deter me from clinging onto you again and again

一 Confession by Naisho no Pierced Earrings

MY GOD... this song is so rui→toku coded...... i'm feeling ill...............

#me whenever i listen to bittersweet love songs: this is so ruitoku (←most normal ruitoku fan)#(that's a lie i'm actually the most mentally unwell ruitoku fan you'll ever meet)#ruitoku

Thing is, the whole problem doesn't even lie entirely on Rui一MC is also partially responsible.

※ Using Jin and Lyca as comparison specifically because there are instances where Rui were hinted to be envious of those two's relationship with MC.

Lyca is even more amazing on this part. He's very earnest and honest with his own feelings一always wearing his heart on his sleeves even when the world punishes him for it.

And that is exactly what Rui lacks: the fortitude of being honest with one's own heart一to lay his feelings bare and show it through actions.

#ruitoku

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