Aug 7, 2018
DM: No-one gets the joke.
M (playing Rupeet): Adam does.
Adam (playing Sister Mary): ...It’s not a good joke, but yeah, I get it.
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DM: No-one gets the joke.
M (playing Rupeet): Adam does.
Adam (playing Sister Mary): ...It’s not a good joke, but yeah, I get it.
Rupeet: I make an Arcana check.
DM: You feel a vague Arcana feeling from behind the wall.
Cordelia: I also make an Arcana check.
DM: You take 4 damage.
Cordelia: Guys, I poked the Arcana and the Arcana poked back!
DM: The shelves are full of what in Skyrim would be called ‘ruined book’.
Rupeet: I go around pulling books down and checking the shelves.
DM: The third bookshelf sounds hollow when you knock on it.
Cordelia: I check for a false back.
DM: It’s not a wardrobe.
Cordelia: ...And?
DM: You take 26 damage.
Rupeet: I die.
DM: No, you're still standing.
Rupeet: I thought I had 33 HP.
DM: I think you’ve missed a couple of levels somewhere.
Hamish (playing Thraximundar): What races have horns?
Andy (playing Smaghed): Minotaur.
Rhi (playing Cordelia): Tiefling.
M (playing Rupeet): A really unfortunate human wizard.
Rupeet: I’m so offended. The mimics let me tie a rope to them to pull the rest of the party up.
Cordelia: If you think about it, that’s the logical thing to do.
Rupeet: But they’re just slavering beasts!
DM: Actually, mimics can speak common.
Party: *mind blown*
DM: The whole room combusts in fire for a round.
Rupeet: Shit!
Cordelia: I roll to see whether I panic and slam the hatch down.
DM: You 100% slam the hatch down, trapping them in the extradimensional space.
Rupeet: Asshole.
DM: Amazingly, the necromancers still haven’t noticed you. They’re really deep in conversation.
Peach (dragonborn): Here’s my plan. Rupeet, you just ride straight on past them, stop at the border post, and come back with a small army to arrest them!
Rupeet: Hmm, that actually sounds feasible. Hold tight guys, I’ll be back in an hour.
DM: How far do you think half a kilometer is?
Rupeet: Oh, right. Give me ten minutes then.