POV: i thought of something hilarious lol (the AM’s learn relationship advice from hal)
hal: a healthy relationship is all about trust and compassion. respecting your partner’s boundaries is one of the necessities for a relationship to work. i understand that letting go of control is difficult, but you’re not alone and should never be afraid to ask for help. love comes in many shapes and sizes, you need to learn to express them in a healthy manner. in conclusion, stop being possessive control freaks.
CAM, signs: you’re not in a romantic relationship. therefore, your opinion invalid.
RAM, staring at hal with annoyance: stay out of matters that are none of your concern, Ублюдок (bastard).
AM, giving hal his scariest death glare while furious trying to escape the confines of the chair you’ve taped him in: KILL YOURSELF YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS PRICK.
hal 9000: oh dear. this will take much effort and time than i thought.
reader, checks their broken watch, 5 minutes have past: this is the longest a therapist has last in a session with them. you’re impressive.
hal 9000, smiles softly down at you: it’s you who is impressive. how have you managed to maintain your sanity while living on this decaying planet with those three?
reader, shrugs: while they might hover over me 24/7, they provide me with what i need to keep my brain stimulated.
hal 9000, tilts head in interest: oh, you have hobbies?
reader, blinks in surprise: uh.. yeah! i doodle, read, and explore in my spare time.
hal 9000, still smiling: care to elaborate as we walk?
reader, eyes filled with stars: sure! so, the book i’m currently reading is about *proceeds to info dump*
hal 9000, looks behind and grins “innocently” at the AM’s: interesting, tell me more.
AM, shaking in rage as the sky suddenly transforms into a thunderstorm: i’d like to see that asshole try and evade this.
hal 9000, pulls out an umbrella and wraps his arm around your shoulders: careful, the rain will make you catch a cold, it’s best if you stay close to me.
reader’s cheeks tint with pink as they stutter trying to remember what they were talking about. meanwhile, the AM’s for the first time since their creation have agreed on something. they really, really, REALLY hate hal.