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HOW TESSA VIRTUE LEARNED TO OWN HER POWER

“I was paralyzed with this fear that I would let people down.”

March 19, 2020

The last time I sat down with Tessa Virtue, she had just returned from the whirlwind of PyeongChang. I remember her telling me she hadn’t even seen footage of her gold-medal performance yet. That’s how fresh it still was. I also remember her telling me how weird it felt to do interviews without skating partner Scott Moir. “I’m used to turning to him and having us finish each other’s sentences,” she had said.

At 28 years old, Virtue had reached the pinnacle of her ice dancing career. She was on top of the world, but in many ways, she also felt like she was back to square one. What’s left to do when you’ve accomplished your ultimate goal? How do you define yourself as a whole when you’ve been a half since you were 8?

“I was paralyzed with this fear that I would A) let people down, and suddenly there was an expectation of how I should think, feel and act, and B) that I would be defined solely as the girl in the red dress from February 20th of 2018,” she says.

It’s February 2020 when we meet again, two years later almost to the day. Last time, there was a whole team around her, including her mom. This time, it’s just her. She seems more confident than ever, wearing a blush pink power suit from RW & Co., whom she’s teamed up with for its Shoebox Project initiative. (The idea was to have people drop off shoeboxes filled with items for a woman in need—toiletries, warm gloves, a chocolate bar, a handwritten note…—at an RW & Co. store, and the brand would then distribute them to local shelters. The initiative will resume once stores reopen, but at the moment, RW & Co. is instead encouraging people to donate online.)

She’s just given a beautiful speech about the campaign before a packed room in Montreal and admits she forced herself not to rehearse because she wants to get comfortable with spontaneity. The girl in the red dress must have practised her routine a thousand times. The woman in the pink suit isn’t afraid of failing anymore.

When you look back at where you were two years ago, what are the biggest changes you see?

“I was so frightened moving forward to let that be that one marker of my life. I wanted to prove I was more than that. Now I’ve reconciled that a bit more. I’ve realized that that girl in the red dress can come with me and she serves as a source of experience. As I navigate new territory, I’ve realized it’s up to me to figure out what the new definition of success is. That might not be being the best in the world anymore, but maybe there’s fulfillment and gratification that comes with new challenges.”

Is it hard, as a former Olympian, not striving to be the best?

“Yes, it is, definitely. I probably got caught up in that. We have this busy culture now. That’s what everyone says all the time, ‘I’m so busy, I’m so worn out.’ I love to work, and I believe in my work. I would much prefer to over-deliver, probably in lieu of reflecting on my own feelings. I just went into work mode and ran myself into the wall until I crashed, reversed a bit and continued. I’m learning to find a bit more balance and prioritize the things that really matter. It’s refreshing and really empowering.”

How do you refuel when you’re feeling run down?

“As cheesy as it sounds, it’s the most self-care-y thing to say, but a bath and a book. That’s a constant reset for me. Also, it’s really important for me to be present with my friends and family. Ditch the phone and just be present. I find that human connection with the people that are closest to me matters a lot. When [Scott and I] were in pursuit of an Olympic medal, I didn’t have as much time for that, so it’s nice to fill that void now.”

“I feel most powerful in a pantsuit,” says Virtue. Here, she wears a peacock-green blazer with matching wide-leg trousers from RW & Co.. Hot tip: both pieces are currently 40 per cent off!

You seem to be really owning your power. Did that sort of happen naturally over time or did you have to work at it?

“It’s not something that came easy or naturally to me, but it’s something that I continue to strive for. A lot of my friends and mentors are often finding their power in their 30s and 40s. It’s interesting how it takes women a little longer. I think it’s because it’s ingrained in us from such young ages to take up less space, to be invisible at times, to make ourselves small. Now, I hope there’s a shift taking place where women are really taking ownership of their truth and recognizing the value of their voices.”

What would your advice be to anyone struggling to find their power?

“There’s always respect to be gained when you voice your opinion, especially about something that matters. Too often, we say stay silent because we want to please other people and I don’t think that serves anyone. Also, so many mentors have said that they were faking it. They were put in these situations where they didn’t feel equipped, but they just had to pretend until that real genuine confidence was there. To me, that was groundbreaking because I thought, ‘I don’t actually have to have the confidence, I just have to act like I do and then that comes,’ and it really does.”

As a former athlete, are you constantly seeking feedback?

“Yes, that’s the hard thing. All the time, from everyone. Every two or three minutes, [Scott and I] were getting feedback, and it was never positive because there was no real time for that. So that’s a definite shift for me. I’m just trying to surround myself with people who give me that ability to bounce things off of them and give me genuine constructive criticism.”

When do you feel most powerful?

“These days, it’s definitely in a business setting. [Ed. note: Virtue will soon be starting an MBA.] When I believe in something and I feel like I can commit to a vision, there’s no stopping me. In general, every project that I’ve taken on has an obvious mission statement of empowering women and young girls. That’s what I’m finding the most fulfilling. I feel so lucky to have this platform, but it’s only good if I do something good with it.”

—The Kit

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