"Hey, it's okay. So it is not quite the same, so what?" Her voice is on the other side of the door, soft consonants, the sweet French Canadian accent hasn't changed even a little. "These things do happen, yes?"
He doesn't argue. Doesn't get defensive, doesn't say not to me. Doesn't say let's try again.
He is quiet, splashing water over his face, too aware of the scarring on his neck and his wrists where iron once laid. The scarred skin on his hip.
"It is common sometimes for a man to struggle to maintain-"
"I'm not a man," Ryan mutters, staring into the mirror. Honey-yellow eyes stare back in a face he barely recognizes.
She's still talking.
All Ryan hears is the whisper in his ear, all he feels is the cold palm laid over the back of his neck.
The Michaelsons and Nate belong to @ashintheairlikesnow. (I wanted to say Nate and the Michaelsons but it sounded too much like a band name XD)
Ryan’s family syndicate hates Gavin’s family and offers the team safe passage when they go through their territory… as long as they agree to stay under their direct supervision for a long weekend while they lay low after being nearly caught.
The Michaelson Group offers a safehouse, but they send their sons - one of whom was held and tortured, along with his partner, by mercenary twins for years - to keep an eye on the team and make sure they don’t do anything stupid to draw attention.
Gavin is convinced he’s going to be abducted and killed because of who he is. Ryan is very friendly to him and makes more than a few comments trying to get various team members alone, which is not reassuring to anyone.
It’s just a few days.
What could possibly go wrong?
Isaac’s arms were folded tight over his chest. “This is a bad idea, Gray. This is a bad, bad fucking idea.”
“Will you calm down?” Gavin snapped. “These people are my family’s direct fucking competitors. If they find out who I am, I’m… I’m fucking –”
“Dead?” Isaac’s eyes burned with contempt. “Can’t even imagine how you feel right now.”
“We’re walking into enemy territory here.” Gavin clenched his jaw shut.
“Every territory is enemy territory for us,” Ellis spat from the back seat. “My heart bleeds for you. Really, it does. You must be so –”
“Fuck you, Ellis.”
“No, fuck you, Gavin.”
“Everyone enough,” Gray bit out. “This is the best option we have. We were nearly killed trying to cross the bridge to New Fayden. This is just for a few days until the syndicate presence at the border dies down. It’ll pass by quickly if we all just… stay calm. Alright?”
“I feel like my tongue is going to burn right out of my mouth for saying this, but Gavin’s right,” Vera said from the back seat. “Passage for us is one thing. For him…” She jerked her chin at Gavin. “If they find out we’ve got a Stormbeck with us our welcome might run out.”
“Then they won’t find out we’ve got a Stormbeck with us.” Gray’s voice was so low Gavin almost couldn’t hear the threat that lay under the words.
“It won’t be too bad,” Sam said quietly. “Our own beds, hot water, a house all to ourselves…”
Gray jerked their head from side to side. “We won’t have the house all to ourselves.”
“What?” Isaac’s voice was horrified. “We’re going to be staying there… with the syndicates?”
“After the disaster at the bridge, the Michaelsons wanted someone around to keep their eyes on us.” Gray sounded annoyed. “I didn’t think it was that unreasonable. They’re harboring Stormbeck enemies. I wouldn’t blame them for wanting to keep a close eye on us.”
“Good luck keeping it a secret who this idiot is,” Vera said, jerking her thumb at Gavin. “Yup. We’re all dead.”
“Who are they sending?” Finn said timidly.
“The Michaelsons’ two sons,” Gray sighed. “Ryan and Daniel. And Daniel’s boyfriend.”
“Why the fuck was someone’s boyfriend invited?” Gavin demanded bitterly. “What, he wanted to just tag along on a romantic weekend with his boyfriend’s brother and seven –”
“I’m given to understand Daniel and his boyfriend are more or less inseparable.” Gray said the words very carefully.
“Oh, please. Are they six-fucking-teen? Who can’t live away from their boyfriend for one goddamned –”
“Apparently they had an experience something similar to Vera’s experience with your father,” Gray said evenly. “Theirs lasted several years. They prefer to stay together now, for their own comfort and safety.”
Gavin fell silent. He twisted his fingers together in his lap. Vera looked out the window at the trees as they suddenly thinned and fell away.
The house was massive for something that had been called “a small summer bungalow.” Gray pulled their car into the driveway and shut it off. They all looked up at the three-story house, at the wide windows and ivy creeping up the walls. At the yard that extended out into the forest behind it. At the curtain at the window that had just shifted.
Gray blew out a slow breath. “Ok. Let’s go meet our hosts.”
“You know what, go on without me. I think I’ll just –”
“Be quiet, Gavin,” Isaac snapped. He groaned as he stepped out of the car. Gavin was shaking slightly as he got out beside him.
One by one they each exited the car, peering up at the impressive-looking house. Even Gavin had to admit it was beautiful. They approached the front door.
Gray took a slow breath. They raised their fist and knocked. The door opened almost immediately to show a young man with dark skin, dark eyes, and a wide smile. They all took a sharp breath in at the same time.
Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you.
(for you, Athena - setting is the Honor Bound AU!)
CW: References to implied consensual spice, references to past noncon
There’s too much confidence outside the bedroom and not enough in it, but this one will do, Ryan supposes.
The room is full of people dressed in their finest - those who belong to the Michaelson group and those who don’t. Ryan knows when he comes down the stairs that they all go still to watch him, the head of the Michaelson Syndicate and current ruler, for all intents and purposes, of one of the largest territories on this coast.
His mother is still in mourning, wearing all black and looking incredible with her pain written across her face. The loss of her husband has hollowed her, and it hollows Ryan, too.
He misses his father with a ferocity that wakes him furious in the night, flashes of hatred for his brother for leaving him even though he knows why Danny had to go. He wakes sometimes hating Finn Dunham for being instrumental to the death Ryan hadn’t been prepared to ever have to face - even though he knows that Finn did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing, not one thing to deserve to be trapped in his father’s bed as his father’s whore.
He hates them, sometimes, anyway.
It fades when the sun comes up, prickling uncomfortably against Ryan’s skin. It fades but it sweeps back. Ryan’s grief is the tide, it washes in and out. Tonight, with the people who answer to him now gathered in their finery, he feels the gentle press of it again.
He hates Danny for leaving, for chasing Isaac Moore’s dick heart across the country, choosing willingly to live as a rebel, an insurgent, a refugee from his own life. He hates Isaac for taking him at all, for being stronger than he’d had any right to be. He hates Nate for loving them both in equal measure, as much as Nate had hated the Michaelsons he had loved Danny more.
He hates Finn for turning his father’s head so well, for having the temerity to be auburn-haired and have beautiful eyes and twist and cry and scream and rage and writhe so well for him in bed. He hates Ellis for being the mother of Ryan’s missing little sister, the baby he knows does not belong to them, but the instinct is there.
His father’s instincts, the fae in him whispering, the child is ours, now.
One step, and then another.
He hates Gavin Stormbeck for being an example for Danny that a Syndicate son could walk away, for being who he is and what he is and being those things no longer.
He hates Vera and Tori for their adoration of each other, for Vera’s strength. Tori could be broken. Vera already had been, had pieced herself back together, and Ryan had smelled the iron under her broken parts the moment he’d met her.
He hates Gray Uriah for being a goddamn fucking son of a bitching archangel, a light in the world his mother’s darkness and his father’s fey nature couldn’t hold off when it mattered.
He hates...
He hates them all.
Except one.
Ryan makes it to the bottom of the steps and they come to him to shake his hand and swear their loyalty and ask him what he wants to drink. He’s casual, carefree, cheerful and has perfect manners. He speaks to this one or that. He makes deals, or promises, or something anyway.
He’s the perfect Syndicate head, the youngest one currently living.
Even Colleen Stormbeck sent a message of congratulations at his ascension - which made him laugh, bitterly, thinking of Gray and the sense of a great pair of wings - and wants to schedule a meeting.
Bring your plaything, if you have one.
Ryan has no taste for playthings, and Colleen knows it. It’s a jab. The first one, but there will be more, and he must meet them alone.
Danny should be here with him.
His father should be here, still running things. This shouldn’t be on Ryan, not yet. He wasn’t ready. He’s still not ready.
He catches a head of curly hair and nearly drops his glass, surprised, but when he looks the short woman in the shorter cocktail dress isn’t the right person at all. Still... he looks at her, and she looks back with that way of moving her eyes, and he feels the wash of desire.
This one wants him, is thinking about how he’ll look when she peels his suit off and discovers the body underneath.
They all want him, in one way or another but this one...
This one will do.
Ryan moves to her, and it takes a few words to have a hand on her hip, a few more to have an arm around her waist. She’s not the one he wants, but she’ll do.
Ryan Michaelson hates the team that stole his brother and killed his father, some nights. Most nights he doesn’t, but tonight... tonight the loathing rolls through him, darkens his yellow eyes.
There’s only one of them he doesn’t hate, tonight.
He wonders if the woman will let him call her Sam.
I had someone request a master list of Daniel Michaelson posts, so here! I’ve also got a master list going right here on my blog’s page, so you can always check there if you’re looking to see if you’ve missed any!
I may even manage to keep it updated. I’m crazy unpredictable that way.
These are in the order they were written/posted, not at all chronological. I am up for requests if anyone thinks of anything they’d like to see in this universe, send me an ask. I will be posting slower as time goes on but still, I hate having unanswered asks in my inbox so trust me, you will be answered.
Daniel Michaelson’s Story
Part One: Shaky Hands
Part Two: Explosions
Part Three: Delirium
Part Four: Human Shield
Part Five: Gunpoint
Part Six: Dragged Away
Part Seven: Isolation
Part Eight: Wake Up
Part Nine: Shackled
Part Ten: Stay With Me
Part Eleven: Nate Vandrum, Two Years Before Daniel
@ashintheairlikesnow are just... we’re ruined. This has ruined us. I wanna ruin y’all with it, too.
Cw: emesis, mention of loss of family (including children)
Ellis dashed to the bathroom again.
Finn appeared behind them after a few moments, sleepily rubbing their eyes. Their hair was a mess. They gently rubbed Ellis’s back as they vomited into the toilet.
“Fuck,” Ellis whispered when they were done, their face momentarily pressed to the porcelain. “Fuck. This can’t be happening.”
“Pretty sure it is,” came Finn’s bleary voice. “You’re late, and you haven’t eaten anything that everyone else hasn’t had, and you’ve been sick like this for a few days. And you smell different.” They mindlessly rubbed Ellis’s back.
“This can’t be happening in syndicate. fucking. territory,” Ellis snapped. “Fuck. This changes everything. What are we gonna do? What are we gonna say?” They groaned and leaned over the bowl again.
“We don’t have to say anything,” Finn soothed. “Nobody has to know. Until we leave, at least.”
Ellis’s eyes pricked with tears. “You’re taking this weirdly calmly.”
Finn’s face broke into a stupid-looking smile. “Cuz I’m sleepy. And happy. I’m gonna be a parent.” They caught a look at themselves in the mirror and smiled wider. “I’m gonna be a parent,” they whispered, bewildered.
“Wait. Back up.” Ellis looked up from the toilet, sudden tears streaming down their face. “What do you mean I smell different?”
Finn shrugged. “I don’t know. You just…” They shrugged again. “…smell different. Not… bad. Just different.”
Ellis pulled the lever and flushed the toilet. They wobbled as the got to their feet and leaned over the sink to wash out their mouth. Finn steadied them as they straightened again.
“Can I have some Zofran?” Ellis mumbled. “I’m feeling a little better, but… for next time…”
Finn’s face fell. “Oh. You shouldn’t have Zofran in the first trimester. Birth defects and things. I’d have to give you a whole bunch for that to happen but usually people don’t like to risk it. I also don’t have any Zofran left. ‘Fran’, as the kids say.” They giggled a little, sleep slurring the words a bit. The smile immediately left their face when they saw Ellis glaring at them. “Um. Sorry. We’re out. But we could… you know…”
“No,” Ellis hissed. “We’re not telling the fucking Michaelsons about this. About my…” Their eyes slid out of focus and a smile crept onto their face. “…our baby. I don’t care if Gray trusts these people. I don’t. No fucking way.”
Finn looked nonplussed. “I thought they seemed nice. Daniel, Danny seems… really nice. And quiet. And Ryan…” The goofy grin appeared. “Ryan seems nice, too.”
Ellis rolled their eyes. “I swear to god, if every single one of us hasn’t slept with him before we leave I’d be a little surprised.”
Finn’s eyebrows pulled together. “Oh. But… not…”
Ellis laughed gently and kissed Finn’s nose. “No, babe. I’m with you only. And I love you.”
Finn’s grin was back. They rubbed the back of their neck. “At least let’s ask him for something to settle your stomach? That isn’t such a strange request, right?”
Ellis sighed. “Fine. I guess. Let’s go ask.”
They padded together across the hallway to Ryan’s room. Finn pulled the soft robe they’d been given tighter around their waist and knocked.
They could hear stirring behind the door and a mumbled “’m comin’.” The light turned on and lit the plush carpet at the bottom of the door. The door swung open to reveal Ryan Michaelson, half awake, hair askew, somehow looking like a model who had just finished a casual photoshoot where the whole point of the shoot is to look bored. Ryan smacked his lips once. “Mm. Yeah? Sorry. What?” He squinted a little in the light.
“Hey, I’m sorry to –”
Ryan flashed a smile, rubbing one eye with a fist. “You’re alright. Wahs goin’ on?”
“Um, Ellis wasn’t feeling well, I was wondering if you had some… um…”
Ryan looked more awake. His eyes moved over Ellis. “I’m sorry. What’s wrong?”
“Um…” Ellis bit their lip. “I threw up. I was wondering if you had something… something to…” They trailed off.
Ryan Michaelson was staring fixedly at Ellis’s belly. A slow smile crept over his face as his gaze moved up to meet Ellis’s eyes, then Finn’s. He lunged in and hugged them both. “Oh, this is amazing. Absolutely… oh my god. Of course. I’ve got something. Let me just…” He walked past them to a small closet right next to the bathroom and started rifling through the shelves, muttering to himself. He emerged with a bottle of anti-acid pills. He brushed past them into his room and tossed the bottle on his bed. Turning back to the door, he took them both by the wrist and pulled them into his room. “I’m so happy for you,” he whispered, his smile more brilliant than they’d ever seen it. He closed the door behind them and pushed them towards his bed. He hopped onto the bed and stared at them with his chin in his hands, sitting cross-legged over the covers. “Tell me everything.”
Finn went a brilliant shade of red. “Well… Ellis and I… um… had… se—”
“Finn.” Ellis’s pale skin was flushed almost as dark as Finn’s.
Ryan laughed, his head thrown back in genuine happiness. “No, you don’t have to tell me about the sex. I mean…” He reached out and took Ellis’s hands in both of his. “How do you feel? Do you want anything? I can send my guys into town for anything you want if you’re having cravings.”
“Oh.” Ellis sat tentatively down on the edge of the bed. They slowly pulled their hands out of Ryan’s grasp and took the bottle. They swallowed two pills and folded their hands in their lap. “No, I’m okay. Thank you. I haven’t had any cravings. I don’t really tend to until the last trimester.”
“Oh!” Ryan’s eyes shone. “You’ve had more than one. That’s wonderful. That’s… um…” He shrunk down a little bit where he sat. Seeming to realize the answer to the question he hadn’t even asked yet.
“They died.” Ellis’s throat twisted into a sob with the last word.
Ryan’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry.” He reached out a hand and rested it gently on Ellis’s shoulder. “Can I ask what happened?”
Finn’s hand appeared on their other shoulder and they met Ellis’s gaze. Reassuring them. I’m here, the look said. And you can tell him or not. I’m here.
Ellis turned back to Ryan, tears brimming in their eyes. “The Stormbecks. Um. My husband, too.”
A little sound escaped Ryan’s throat and for a moment – Ellis could swear they had imagined it, but it seemed, for a moment – Ryan’s eyes flashed a deep amber. Almost like they weren’t reflecting the light, but shining. They blinked and it was gone.
Ryan’s hand tightened on their shoulder. “I’m so sorry. The Stormbecks are… um…” His eyes flicked to the ceiling. “…they’re monsters. In all but the literal sense.”
“Monsters don’t exist,” Ellis mumbled as they pulled their knees up to their chest. “Just bad people.”
The corner of Ryan’s mouth twitched up for a moment. “Hm.” He watched Ellis’s hands moving unconsciously to their belly. “I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m so sorry.”
For a moment Ellis just cried, tears falling like rain down their cheeks. Finn pulled Ellis into their arms and held them tight. Ryan moved forward until he could lean his head on Ellis’s shoulder. His arm went around their back and held them gently for a moment. Ellis’s hand landed softly on Ryan’s hair.
They cried together, all three of them. Ellis felt the pain that was always there in their chest, always pulling down at them, momentarily rising up and out of them. Like it was cleansing. Passing through them without tearing pieces out with it. They felt the others breathe with them. They felt, for a moment, a little spark of hope in them.
After what felt like a very long time, Ellis straightened and wiped the tears from their face. Ryan reached for the tissues on his nightstand and offered Ellis the box. They took one and blew their nose.
Ryan moved away from Finn and Ellis and leaned back against the headboard. Finn gave Ellis an extra tight squeeze, then let them go.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” Ellis whispered.
Ryan’s eyes went wide. “Oh. No. Of course. I won’t. That’s your business. For what it’s worth, though, you… probably shouldn’t tell my parents either.”
Ellis’s eyes narrowed. “…why?”
Ryan’s shoulders moved in a shrugging motion that looked just a little bit tense. “Always good to keep personal business to yourself around them. They’re. Hm.” He dipped his head. “Just very talkative.”
“O, okay.” Ellis bit their lip.
After a moment Ellis looked up at Ryan. He was staring at them, smiling. “Have you thought of a name?”
Ellis shot a glance at Finn. “Well, this is kinda, um… unexp—”
“Iris.” Finn was smiling softly at Ellis. “It’s Greek.”
Ellis’s nose wrinkled against the sudden burn of tears. “What –”
“It means ‘rainbow.’ Like… after everything, the clouds lift and the rain stops and there’s a rainbow.” Finn pressed a kiss against their temple. “Just like us.”
Ellis was openly weeping with a radiant smile on their face. They pressed a hand to their mouth. “That’s, um… that’s a good name…” They waved their hand as if to brush away the gazes of the others staring at them. “But what if it’s a boy?”
“It’s not,” Ryan murmured. He was looking again at Ellis’s belly. Their hand had returned there again without them thinking.
Ellis sniffled. “How do you know?”
Ryan blinked and looked up at Ellis again. He smiled. “I just have a feeling.”
Finn was crying now, too. They leaned in and pressed their forehead against Ellis’s. “I’m gonna be a parent,” they whispered. Ellis cupped their face in their hand and kissed them softly.
Ryan reached out and put a hand on Ellis’s knee. Ellis looked at him and rested their own hand on his. “I’m so happy for you,” he whispered. “Seriously, whatever you need. Anything at all. My mom complains all the time that when she was pregnant with me she craved fresh fruit and really bloody steaks. Which she couldn’t eat, of course, because she was pregnant.” He rolled his eyes. “We’ve got a market not even an hour away. I can have anything you can imagine here by morning.” He squeezed Ellis’s hand. “Whatever you want.” His eyes moved to Finn. “And you, too. Sympathetic stress eating is real. Or if…” He bit his lip. “If you want a pregnancy test, to be really sure. I can get whatever you need.” He grinned at them both. “Whatever you need.”
Ellis smiled gently. “Thank you. If I think of anything I’ll tell you. I think, though…” As if on cue, they yawned. “I’d love to get back to bed. My stomach is feeling a lot better. Thank you for…” They held up the bottle of anti-acid pills.
“Take them with you. If we need more I’ll send out for more.” Ryan gave Ellis and Finn’s hands a final squeeze and climbed off his bed. He walked them both to the door and bid them a final goodnight.
Ellis wandered back to their room, their mind swirling with so many thoughts. Iris. That’s a good name. Where will I give birth? Where can I get prenatal care? And vitamins? Once we have her, where can we go where she’ll be safe? Could we ever escape the Stormbecks forever? Would Ryan be willing to help us again? They paused and realized Finn had stopped behind them in the hall. They turned back and took both of Finn’s hands. “What’s wrong?”
“Did… did he just… magically… know we were pregnant? Almost before we did?”
Ellis’s brow furrowed. “What?”
Finn shook themselves. “Nothing.” A smile returned to their face. “We’re gonna be parents.”
Ellis pressed a kiss to the back of Finn’s hand. “You’re gonna be the most kickass parent. You are.”
Finn blushed in the dim light of the hallway. Ellis led them back to their room and shut the door behind them.
They crawled into bed together, suddenly exhausted. Ellis curled up on their side and Finn cuddled up behind them until their bodies were spooned together. As Ellis dozed off, Finn’s hand found their belly. They fell asleep to the feeling of Finn’s chest against their back, and Finn’s warm hand pressed over their baby.
