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✨in celebration of another 100 followers, here's an edit I did a while back✨

Sirius writes a letter every few months to James, and usually just ends up burying it next to the old oak tree which is still sitting on the property holding the time capsule that is Potter Manor. He tells him about Harry, life, what things are like for him & Remus in the present.

Remus had been the one to push him to try such an idea, learn how to manage the feeling of loss that will never leave, and eventually Sirius looks forward to the letters; he isn't a spiritual man, but he always likes to think that when the dirt absorbs his words, it passes them on to the first man he ever loved.

(edit inspired by my 705k word fic series, which you can find here)

✨️Excerpt from Chapter 56 of PCABC:

*remus finally telling harry more about lily*

Harry: “Where’s that?”

Remus: “Which one? Cokeworth?”

Harry: "No, Denbighshire. Is that here in Scotland?”

Remus: “No, no, Wales. You're ah... Welsh. Both your grandparents had their lines going back there for hundreds of years. Their names were Hyacinth, like the flower, and…”

He looked back up, his eyes sympathetic.

“... Harry… like you.”

part 2 of the reunion™️ snippet- i dont normally do this in regards to larger plot points, but i cant help myself (part 1 here)

*the stranger in the gallery asks harry why he was drawn to that specific painting before them out of all the others around the large room*

Harry: “...the colours... I like the way the earthy tones are with the blue… and the sun, it makes the water like… literally glow or something, and not just because of the reflection of it.”

The man nodded slowly again and hummed in agreement, his bow-shaped lips growing into a softly pleased smirk.

The Stranger: “You know, I’ve always thought the same thing as well… I don’t hear many people make that comment abou-”

He suddenly swallowed his words as if they were stolen right from his throat. His light blue eyes, now finally settled on him directly, bore into him hard with shock, as if simply seeing his face was a sudden impact. It wasn't the same as the expressions of surprise he'd been given from all the other guests since their arrival, the man now seemed as if he was downright bewildered.

Like he was seeing a ghost.

He quickly realized his current expression was rather off-putting and blinked a few times to collect himself before looking away from Harry and back at the painting in front of them, eyes calculated and confused like he was trying to figure out an equation of some sorts.

The Stranger: “My apologies- you just…"

He took a long pause.

"...remind me of someone I once knew long ago…”

Yeah, he got that a lot.

i reallly wanted this to be a surprise in my series, but i love this scene too much/publicity- so you all get a reunion™️ snippet early. obv so much has been cut to fit this formatting type, but here we are:

*sirius & remus force harry to attend an art gallery with him, and he's bored out of his mind. he then comes across a painting that finally interests him. a well-dressed man sees him, comments on how drawn he is to it, and they get talking. harry can't help but notice how easy it is to speak with this stranger, how he seems so familiar*

The Stranger: “Well, the painting depicts the execution of a Roman consul- obviously the scene itself is imagined- but some legends say it wasn’t your typical execution for the time. They speak of death by starvation or even more interestingly, being forced to stay for days in a box of finely sharpened nails, unable to move”

It had officially come to his attention that this man was extremely fucking weird...

Harry: “Bloody hell- that’s interesting to you?”

The man snorted softly, shaking his head a little as a smirk played on his lips, one that faltered ever so slightly before returning to form.

The Stranger: “My brother used to think my interest in that legend was peculiar as well... but everyone has their interests piqued by an aspect of the world that may seem unconventional to some, even if they don’t speak of it. You must have at least one interest that your friends find strange, don’t you?”

Harry instantly looked away, shame prickling his gut. He shrugged awkwardly, despite the fact the man was right.

He seemed to sense his embarrassment, and proceeded to discreetly bend his torso a little to the side, his hands still behind his back comfortably as a warm whisper left his lips.

The Stranger: “One thing I’ve learned in my travels is that life is too short to give a fuck about what others think.”

Posting "The Diary Entries" here bc i love angsty teenage!remus sm✨️💖

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𝓦𝓮𝓭𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂

𝟏𝟎:𝟓𝟕 𝓟𝓜

𝓐𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓵 𝟏𝟕𝓽𝓱

𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟒

I can’t bear this anymore. He thinks we’re just supposed to bear it, but he doesn’t get it- he doesn’t get that it’s so, so messed up… he’s come back all messed up again. I knew it must have been worse than usual these past couple weeks when he would barely answer James on the train. He slept for most of the ride. He told us what happened over the break about an hour ago- he’s sleeping in James’s bed tonight. I want to be with them like we usually do when he has a hard night, but I need time to think before I get back in.

James has told Sirius so many times his mum & dad can help and I told him mine can help- we even told him McGonagall or Dumbledore would obviously do something- but he won’t let us say anything. He says we're his best mates and have to keep his secrets but this doesn’t feel right to keep… it’s wrong. It’s so fucking messed up and cruel and I HATE it. He says that his excuse for parents have too much power in the Ministry and I know that’s partly true, but surely the Aurors would take what’s happening seriously. Da’ always says that adults shouldn’t hurt kids or teenagers and that what G. did to me was wrong even if he hadn’t of ended up turning me so doesn’t that make what Sirius’s parents are doing wrong? They do so much more than what I hear all the other guys go through with their parents… it’s actually illegal. That must count for something…

I love him back… I’ve loved him since we became better mates but now I know I really, really love him and I’m so pissed off at him for making me be silent. It makes me want to cry when I see those marks and scars on his ankles from those binding curses and the bruises that haven’t gone away by the time we get back to school- I have cried, but it doesn’t matter to him. He never fucking listens. His mum and dad are wretched, and awful and horrid and disgusting and I HATE them so fucking much for what they do to him and Regulus. Reg never seems too poorly done by, or maybe he just holds himself better… I don’t know. Sirius says he gets the beatings and punishments too, but most of the time that’s apparently only if he tries to stick up for him. I wish they were closer as brothers, because then we could try and convince them both at the same time that what is happening isn’t okay.

Reg can’t even bear to be in the same vicinity as James and I though, so clearly that’s never going to happen… I don’t know why he dislikes us so much, but I assume his stupid friends have something to do with it. He seems alright enough, too… he doesn’t belong in that crowd, they’re just bringing him down the same road as his parents. It’s not friendship, it’s just some mental “sacred twenty-eight” bonding or something.

I want Sirius to come live with me and Da’. Or with James and his parents. Or even foster care. Any home would be better than the one he’s in. It would be so cool if he got to come live with me- we could spend all the time on the beach and go swimming in the summers and hang out in my old tree fort and Da’ could take us to see a flick all the time and we could have such a great time together. He’s never even been to my house yet. He’s been to James’s twice of course, but his parents only let him go for a couple weeks each time and he ALWAYS has to go home for breaks.

I don’t want to be… but I’m scared. And I feel sicker every time he tells me what happens to him when he's home. I try and try and try to convince myself that I’m being dramatic, Sirius says I am, but I’m fucking scared … the books I took out in the library say prolonged exposure to the Cruciatus curse and having it enacted upon you multiple times can cause permanent damage… then there’s his mental state, the books don’t talk about that though apart from it possibly driving someone straight mental, which obviously just scares me even more. They say it’s the worst pain one can experience, so obviously it would mess someone up, right? No amount of James and I holding him to try and make him feel better & being gentle with him through the usual week-long aftermath like they always are for me after a moon can fix that…

He’s started crying more in the night… more than he’s done in the past few years. And the way he cries during those nightmares makes me feel ill…. it's not fair. He flinches too when I go and touch his arm or try to hug him now… he always brushes it off, acts like it was nothing, but it makes me want to hold him and never let him go back home ever ever ever again.

I love him and he’s kind and he’s good - why do bad things have to happen to good people?

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✒️𝕗𝚒𝚌 𝕌𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝓮

the FINE WINE of a chapter is now up for the rewrite- enjoy that glimpse into 1974✨️

important: update tag is now #s0upsSeaupdates due to username change on ao3

Posting "The Diary Entries" here bc i love angsty teenage!remus sm✨️💖

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𝓜𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓪𝔂

𝟕:𝟑𝟏 𝓐𝓜

𝓕𝓮𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓪𝓻𝔂 𝟏𝟕𝓽𝓱

𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟒

I hurt him I dont know what happened I dont know why I did but I hurt him last night when we were all out in the woods and hes got a huge scratch on his leg AND HE KEEPS SAYING ITS NOTHING but it IS something and it was from ME and I want to fucking D̳I̳E̳

I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve either of them, I don't deserve anyone loving me- WHO CUTS THEIR BOYFRIEND??? I’m like those blokes they talk about on the telly that beat their wives, I’m absolutely horrid and he made a mistake dating me, he made a mistake ever knowing me- both of them did and they are too damn blinded by being fucking them to see it. I can barely write about this I feel so sick. I want to puke. I hate me. I hate every part of me so much. I wish Da’ had of just put me down like the rabid dog I am back when it happened.

Sirius and James tried to stop me from leaving the wing, so did Pomfrey but I don’t care. I’m not staying there. For the first time ever, he has to stay there for the morning while the medicine soaks in. He kept saying it isn’t that bad BUT IT IS. He kept yelling at me & telling me I’m being “a dramatic prat” and that it “isn’t as bad as all of mine by far” but that is NOT the point. The point is I HURT HIM.

I’m in Myrtle’s lavatory right now and I am never coming out. I’m just going to run away and make it so no one has to deal with me ever again. Maybe make a living by selling stolen wands in Diagon Alley or going to the lower ends of London and selling marijuana and cocaine or maybe I can just make sure I turn next moon near some Aurors so they’ll just kill me and end this once and for all- remove the stain I’ve put on my family and friends just by being alive.

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Posting "The Diary Entries" here bc i love angsty teenage!remus sm✨️💖

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𝓢𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓭𝓪𝔂,

𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓾𝓪𝓻𝔂 5𝓽𝓱

12:10 𝓟𝓜

1974

I’m finally back at the castle (thankfully) - and I’m actually getting a moment of peace after classes cause Sirius and James went to have a row with Evan cause he said something about Marlene that made her cry. I can’t remember what it was about. Everyone loves the new transistor radio Da’ gifted me for Nollaig- he even bought me another “after Nollaig” gift he called it- a better antenna, he says it can reach as far as Spain’s frequencies with clarity. I’ve already had my fun with it, but it would be nice if James and Sirius would stop hogging it every night from Peter and I. James keeps playing what he, Peter and I all like thankfully, but Sirius keeps tuning it to this annoying pop-only station and I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO POP ANYMORE!!! I swear, I'm going to go mental. I’ve told him that but do you think he listens? No, of course he doesn’t.

The moon is in about two weeks and as always, Da’ kept asking for me to come home for it or even just afterwards for a couple days, and I really don’t know how many times I can say no. I don’t want to go home for it, I don’t even want to be there in general most of the time anymore. It just makes me pissed off… or sad. I don’t know which. Maybe both. I never felt this way before going off to school, but now it just keeps reminding me about the fact Da’ has to have me as a son, and how we’re only there ‘cause I was too disgusting for Mum to look at. Everyone around me here has both parents and it's annoying because I would if I wasn’t a freak. I don’t care how many times James, Sirius, Peter, Da’, McGonagall and Pomfrey tell me otherwise- they don’t know anything, and it’s the truth.

The Chess Club finals to decide who is going to attend the championship in May are coming up and Lily keeps joking with me that she will win “hands down”, she says. It’s light fun, but I really hope she doesn’t. She always wins at everything all the time. She even got the better scores in our exams last year by a hair and I know it's because I was tired from the moon the night prior. What’s most annoying is that she doesn’t gloat. I wish she would gloat. It would make it easier, I think. She refused to even tell me about her results for a couple days because she said I would be “sulky”. What a thing to say- I am NOT sulky when I lose. I just don’t like to in regards to academics is all.

Signing off now as I can hear James coming up the stairs- or trying to? Sounds like him and Peter are arguing. I can hear Alice too, she’s probably only coming up because one of them is bleeding.

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