#sabriel angst

[anngsty-things]

mystery spot was never about torturing sam – it was about an archangel who followed his family's plan, and who, despite hating it, accepted that one of his brothers will die, so he tried to lessen sam's pain in the future

as well as his own.

[yougrew-upunacave]

Random sabriel fanfic idea

( this takes place before the show starts so pre-series)

Gabriel is sam's guardian angel and he's watching over him when Sam's in college so Gabriel decides to age himself down to 21 years old to watch after Sam better so one day gabe and Sam bump into each other and suddenly they become friends but Gabriel ends up crushing on Sam and is heartbroken when he learns that Sam is dating jess so he leaves never to be seen until tall tales ( season 2 episode 15)

Sorry if this is bad I just thought of this idea last night so I decided why not post it on here

[alaskabarko]

Hadestown!Sabriel

Orpheus is Gabriel

Eurydice is Sam

Hades is Dean

Hermes is Chuck

Persephone is Castiel

The fates are Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael

[shipper-trash-bag]

Unlovable

Sam couldn’t focus, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn’t read another second of text in from of him, slamming the book closed and excusing himself from the library in a stiff tone, all but running to his room.

Gabriel was on a date. Without him. Not that Sam expected to be taken out by the former archangel, but he had hoped. Now that they were back home and safe, no portals open, no one coming for them, he had hoped maybe something could blossom between them. Maybe not love, mainly because of Sam’s own luck or lack there of in tbt department, but maybe a friendship. Something. But no, he was stuck at the bunker with Dean and his mother doing research while Gabriel went off doing who knows what with the waitress they’d met a state over the previous night.

Falling into bed with the lights off, he willed himself not to cry, the cloud of darkness in his mind doing its best to silence any shred of happiness he might have in his heart. He doesn’t love you, it whispered. He’ll never love you, you’re not worth his love. A former archangel, ha! You’re delusional. You don’t deserve him. He tried to block out the voice with a pillow, but it was no use. It was louder than even Lucifer’s was at times, the depression he’s had since he was a child never lifting long enough for him to feel like he mattered, like he was worthy of love.

Jess made him feel worthy at one point. And now she’s dead, the voice whispered. But his mother and his brother were here. And they both left, they only came back because they had no other choice, it hissed. But Cas- loves Dean more, always has. And Jack - could do better than you.

It dragged him down, down, down deeper in the pits of sorrow, the tears not shy now as they streamed down his face as he sobbed. He rolled himself under the covers, hiding from the world as the voice got what it demanded - defeat.

Sam fell asleep like that, tears stained on his cheeks, sleeping fitfully and waking up with a start several hours later. Uneasy, but too wired to sleep, he made his way to the kitchen to make a tea, stopping short as he found Gabriel sitting at the table, back to him, shoulders shaking. “Gabriel?”

The ex angel startled, wiping at his face as he sniffles and turned around, plastering a fake smile for his friend. “Hey Sam. Sorry, did I wake you?”

Sam shook his head, concerned. “No, couldn’t sleep. What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Oh, nothing, noth-“

“Gabriel.” Sam sat heavily across from him, face set in stone. “Don’t lie to me. Tell me, please.”

With the softness of his words, Gabriel broke down, head falling forward as he sobbed. Sam grabbed at his hands, squeezing tightly as Gabriel explained. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go out with her. I drove all the way over there and I just couldn’t- I had to tell her I wasn’t ready, and she looked at me like I was broken. Like I wasn’t even worth her time.”

“Gabriel, it just didn’t work out with her, I’m sure the next time you-“

“No!” He gasped, looking at Sam with watery eyes. “Asmodeus was right. I’m not worth anyone’s time.”

Sam was furious. How dare anyone tell his friend such a ridiculous thing. “You’re worth mine.”

Gabriel scoffed, snorting a little as he coughed. “But you deserve better. You deserve someone unbroken.”

Sam squeezed his hand, forcing Gabriel’s gaze on his own, feeling braver than he had in a long time. “You know what I did when you left yesterday?” Gabriel shook his head. “I tried to research with mom and Dean, to catalogue the library better, but I couldn’t focus. I ended up in my room, crying until I fell asleep.”

Gabriel reeled back as if he’d been slapped. “What? Why would you do something like that?”

Sam took a shaky breathe in, looking down at the Formica of the table. “Because the man I love went on a date with a waitress he met a state away.” Gabriel’s hands withdrew from Sam’s own and the ringing in his ears started up again, the voice not far behind. See? He doesn’t love you. Sam closed his eyes against the assault, letting the pain wash over him, it demanding to be felt. You ruined it, just like you ruin everything.

But as he felt the first tear threaten to fall, he also felt strong arms circle around him. He opened his eyes to find Gabriel no longer sitting across from him, but instead standing next to him, holding him tightly. Sam raised his hands up to hold him back, feeling Gabriel mutter into his neck, “do you really love me?” Nodding, he felt a shudder against him. “I thought you hated me?”

Sam pulled back, looking at Gabriel’s tear soaked face with nothing but surety. “No, I don’t hate you. Sometimes I hate what you do, but I haven’t hated you for a long time. The past three years? I’ve loved you so much I think I’d die.” Gabriel hiccuped a laugh, a small hopeful smile playing at the edges of his lips. “Seeing you with other people felt like being shot in the heart. I don’t deserve someone as good as you.”

“Oh, Sam,” Gabriel gasped, holding his hunter tightly as the kitchen clock ticked on. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s you who’s too good for me.” He shifted as Sam stood to hold him properly, tears soaking the shirt he’s buried his face into. “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry I went on that date, I’m sorry-“

But Sam had heard enough. He knew they’d both suffered enough, both feeling like they weren’t worthy of one another, of happiness. “Shh,” Sam hushed, rubbing at Gabriel’s back. “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s okay.”

“You cried yourself to sleep over me!”

“I once cried myself to sleep over Optimus Prime dying.”

Gabriel laughed, a wet chortling sound as he gripped onto Sam’s shirt. “I’m bearing my heart here and the man’s got jokes.”

“You’re always trying to make me laugh, thought I’d return the favour.”

They stood like that, holding one another for a while, soaking up the love from the other, calming the tears that slowly tapered off until Gabriel pulled his head away far enough to look up at Sam, eyes shining with happiness as well as tears. “You know,” Gabriel said slowly. “If we were to go on a first date, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

Sam thought about it for a moment, and replied, “nothing wrong with dinner and a movie, you know.”

Gabriel shook his head. “You’re Sam freaking Winchester, you deserve something more special than that.”

Sam leaned down to kiss Gabriel on the cheek. “I don’t know about you, but I plan on having more than just the one date with you. There’s lots of time for special.”

Gabriel nodded, pulling away to hold Sam’s hand. “Would you like to accompany me to breakfast then? We can make it our first date, or we can use it to discuss where we want to go on our first date?” The hope in his eyes was palpable. Sam squeezed his hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss. “Or we could do it tomorrow? Whenever. I don’t want to rush you.” Sam pulled on his hand, leading him out of the kitchen. “Sam?”

“I’m tired. I think I should go back to bed.”

“Oh, uh, okay” Gabriel nodded, confused and a little hurt. “I understand. It’s like, four am, so I get it.”

“You look tired too, maybe you should take a nap,” Sam smiled a wicked grin, Gabriel however, was still slow on the uptake.

“Okay, but you know my room’s the other way, so-“

Sam rolled his eyes, kissing Gabriel on the cheek again. “My bed’s big enough for two.”

“Oh. Oh! Oooooh!” Gabriel smiled, hand squeezing Sam’s. “I don’t have any expectations of you, just to let you know.”

Sam nodded, leading them to his room, flicking the lights off in the other rooms as they passed them. “It doesn’t have to be anything other than sleep.”

“And cuddling. I’m gonna cuddle the crap out of you.” Sam laughed, nodding as they rushed back to his room.

Ten minutes of getting the bed just right, another two to get the right angles, Gabriel nestled in his arms, Sam realized the voice in the back of his head was quiet. “I like this,” Gabriel whispered.

Sam nodded, leaning down to do what he had wanted to for three long years. The second their lips touched, Sam felt like he could cry. But this time, they would be tears of joy, especially when Gabriel pulled back to whisper, “I love you too.”

They fell asleep wrapped up in each other, and when he awoke many hours later, Gabriel’s face pressed to his chest, he felt more loved and cherished than he had in years.

Gabriel awoke slowly, and with a single breath, he filled Sam’s heart to the brim when he said “I promise you’ll never feel unloved again.”

[ratbastard42]

Hello! I finally figured out the settings on tumblr dot com and now I present to you, this weird angsty Sabriel poem thing I wrote at 1:30 in the morning! Enjoy! (or don’t enjoy, I’m not a cop, just don’t come at me in my asks if you think it was bad) (pls)

Before Sam Winchester, Gabriel was obedient.

He loved his family, served his father, did everything a loyal archangel should.

He had to, in order to keep the peace.

For now.

 When the archangels were created, they knew how their lives would play out, for the most part.

Never any large details like how they would die or who they would meet along the way, just the overarching events of their lives.

Their destiny.

 Gabriel knew that he would meet his true love, his soulmate, in the blink of an eye.

This soulmate was to be a human.

They wouldn’t have very long together, only the length of the human’s life.

For after that the human would be one of thousands in Heaven’s halls and would most likely not even remember Gabriel.

Barely 80 years in a millennium is akin to a single spark in centuries of darkness.

Gabriel knew he would have to make an impression and make use of what little time they had.

Unlike humans, an angel’s love is eternal.

Human love is transient, temporary, fleeting.

But angels, angels will love as fiercely as the raging seas and just as deep, for eternity.

And when Sam was finally born, Gabriel felt as if he suddenly knew the answer to everything.

Sam’s soul was so bright, so strong, yet so fragile.

Strange.

Gabriel would have given his life at that very second just to see the safety of this boy and his unintelligible soul.

 Gabriel waited, bode his time, watched over Sam as well as he could.

What young Sam called luck, Gabriel called divine intervention, to the smallest degree of course.

Lost homework showing up in Sam’s backpack, getting back to the Impala right before the rain started, somehow getting cell service everywhere.

Little conveniences that made life easier, more bearable.

Gabriel couldn’t change huge things like the death of Sam’s mother, no matter how hard he wanted to.

Poor Mary, Gabriel hoped she knew how much she was loved.

 Gabriel waited until Sam was old enough to truly comprehend romantic love and show it to the people around him before he finally made his move.

He had to attract him in some way, what better way than a case?

Gabriel played his part, the monster at the end of the book.

The deadly mastermind.

Gabe didn’t really like harming or hurting Sam, but if this was the only way to get Sam’s attention, then so be it.

 Gabriel played a little while longer as this “Trickster,” doing everything he could to get closer to Sam.

Gabe was so worried, Sam had already died once to save his brother, Gabriel couldn’t let him die again.

Gabriel knew that he wouldn’t always be around to pick Sam up when he fell.

Sam needed to be taught a lesson in cutting his losses.

 Just like an angel’s love, an angel’s pride is a powerful thing. They do not like being told they were wrong, even in the smallest of ways.

When Sam stabbed Bobby in the back and begged for his brother, Gabriel was enraged.

He was trying to help Sam! Why couldn’t he see that?

Why couldn’t Sam see that these atrocities had been done out of love?

These atrocities.

 Oh no.

 Gabriel left after that, left Sam alone.

It was the hardest thing he had ever done.

He wandered for a while, thinking about what he had done, until his path again crossed with that of the Winchesters.

Oh, how he wanted to tell Sam who he really was, but he couldn’t, not yet.

So, he waited, watched, bode his time

Until it was revealed on its own.

“They call me Gabriel”

Sam had never looked so disappointed.

 Gabriel found Sam after that, away from Dean, away from Cas.

He talked.

He cried.

He begged Sam, this human, this eternal light, to forgive him, to love him even.

Gabriel didn’t know what he was really aiming for, he just couldn’t rest until Sam knew why he had done those things, why he had caused Sam such suffering.

Sam understood.

 And then it happened.

What Gabriel had been waiting for all of these cold, dark, sad millennia.

Love.

Togetherness.

Souls bound by an ineffable force.

It was magical, yet short-lived.

Gabriel should have known it couldn’t last.

 Soon, the demon found him.

Locked him in a cage like a dog.

Drained his life away.

And Sam, believing him dead, did not come.

“Please, won’t someone help me?”

 It could have been years; it could have been centuries.

Gabriel wouldn’t have known.

He stopped trying to escape after a while.

Sam was probably dead now.

And if Sam was gone, what else did Gabriel have?

 But then, suddenly, Gabriel was free again.

He was with Sam again.

It all happened so fast.

Gabriel could barely keep up.

 The demon was dead, Gabriel was healthy,

But Sam and Dean just wanted to use him in their newest plot.

Use his grace.

He would have obliged, always happy to bleed, but he didn’t have any grace left.

So. Gabriel left.

 Sam called out to him at night.

Pleading for his return.

“Gabe, please come back, I need you.”

An angel’s love never fades.

 “Fine, I’ll help.”

 Soon Gabriel was with Sam again.

When Gabriel looked into Sam’s soul, just as he did those few, short years ago.

He saw strength.

He saw light.

He saw hope.

The man he loved was still alive, if a little bruised on the outside.

That was all that mattered.

 The team prepared to fight.

Sam and Dean were getting older and wiser.

Cas and Dean still had years of tension to work through.

Gabe had a fling with Rowena just to make Sam jealous, which worked.

Everyone was together again.

Gabe had never been so happy.

 Then came Michael.

The brother Gabriel loved so much, but different than before.

Then came Lucifer.

The brother Gabriel used to revere, still the same.

They fought.

People died.

Gabriel looked into Sam’s eyes and said his sweet, unspoken goodbyes.

“I’m sorry my love, but it seems I must go.”

Too quick the spark had burnt out.

 Pain, then Darkness.

 While there are many different theories of what the Empty is like, not many angels or demons get it right.

They think you can only sleep.

While it is true, you can sleep, you can also observe.

A clear, glass wall meant to punish those with loved ones left behind.

Disgusting.

Still, Gabriel watched as Sam moved on.

Left Gabriel’s body in that awful place.

Angels can’t move on, their love is indestructible, unwavering, intransigent.

But Sam moved on.

 Gabriel became obsessed with observing Sam, watching over him through the clear barrier between the Empty and the Earth.

Watching him eat, sleep, work cases.

Gabe knew it was creepy, but it was all he had left of the man he had died for.

He wished he could help Sam like he used to, but he was powerless.

Sam didn’t believe in luck so much anymore.

 Gabe watched as years went by, and Sam all but lost his spark.

He was working too hard.

So many people had died.

Sam was on the verge of death, and Gabriel almost couldn’t bear to watch.

Until Eileen.

 Eileen was the sassy hunter from Ireland.

Always cracking jokes that made even Gabriel laugh.

When Eileen came around, Sam smiled.

Oh, how Gabriel had missed that smile.

Still, he wished Sam was looking at him like that instead of her.

 Gabriel became jealous of Eileen over time.

Wishing he was there with his true love, the man he had waited for for eons.

Sometimes, at his lower points, Gabriel would place his hand on the glass to cover Eileen’s face and pretend she was a bug that he could squash.

Pretending he could replace her.

Pretending everything could go back to how it was.

 That was, until he looked, really looked at Sam’s face when he was with her.

Happiness.

That was all that Gabe saw.

Sam looked happier than he had in years.

Sometimes Sam looked even happier than he had looked when Gabriel had been with him on Earth.

 That’s when Gabriel screamed.

He screamed not at Eileen or Sam, but at all the rest of them.

At Chuck, Michael, Lucifer, Lilith, all of the demons and angels and monsters who had gotten in the way of happiness.

His happiness.

Their happiness.

Gabriel and Sam could have had years together. Happy, blissful years. If Sam were made immortal, they could have had EONS.

But no.

“Why couldn’t they have just let us be?”

 To this day, he lies there, in front of the glass.

Gabriel, the fallen angel.

The angel who cared too much.

The one who loved and lost and loved ever strongly still.

Asleep, never to be woken again.

[shejustcalledmeafish]

So, I got inspired by a song and wrote a very angsty Sabriel fic. Tw for cheating, infidelity, adultery, all the other synonyms. Also tw for swearing. The song is in the tags to avoid spoilers.

It was 6 o’clock in the morning and Gabriel still wasn’t home. Again. Sam had woken up to a half-empty bed. But he was used to it, Gabriel worked strange hours. He was usually gone all night a few times a month. At first, Sam hadn’t thought much of it. He just got ready for work as usual.

But this time, something was different. Gabriel had carelessly left his phone on his nightstand. Sam picked it up, intending to drive by Gabriel’s work and drop it off to him. Before he could slip it in his bag however, it buzzed with a text. Sam instinctively looked at the screen and froze.

402-666-9460: Had a great time last night, baby

Sam’s breath caught in his throat. No. Gabriel wouldn’t. He would never. He reread the message. Maybe he could have brushed off the first part. But the nickname? Sam felt his heart sink. No, no, no. The phone buzzed again and Sam didn’t hesitate before reading the message.

402-666-9460: I’ll make sure to give you more of a warning next time I’m in town so your ball and chain won’t get suspicious

Sam felt his legs get weak and he sat down on the bed. Alright, so that was very very bad. But it wasn’t damning. Not yet. The lawyer side of him was screaming that he needed more evidence. And he did know the password to Gabriel’s phone. He only hesitated for a moment before tapping in the code.

Sam would have never intruded on Gabriel’s privacy without good reason. And hey, if he was wrong, he would just explain himself to Gabriel and hope he understood. And if he was right… no, he didn’t want to think about it.

There were no other messages from the unknown number. Either it was a wrong number or Gabriel had been deleting the messages as he received them.

402-666-9460: Gabriel?

Alright, so Gabriel was deleting the messages as he received them. Fuck. Sam pulled out his own phone and made a quick call.

“Ash, it’s me. How quickly can you restore some deleted messages?” As he listened to Ash’s reply, he started to scroll through Gabriel’s photo reel. “Uh huh. Yeah, they’re between Gabriel’s phone and 402-666-9460.”

Sam paused on a picture, dated mid-June of last year. It was a woman he didn’t recognize and Gabriel. The woman was kissing Gabriel’s cheek and Gabriel was smiling so damn brightly. Sam’s heart sank even lower. He hadn’t seen Gabriel smile like that in a long time. Not since-

The phone buzzed.

“Thank you, Ash. I owe you one.” Sam said and paused. “I’ll tell you when I figure it out.” And hung up. Tucking his phone back in his pocket with one hand, Sam reopened the messaging app with the other. He scrolled up to the very top and started reading.

The messages painted only a vague outline of Gabriel’s relationship with this woman, but three things were obvious.

She was from out of town and they met up whenever she was in town, about twice a month.

They had met last summer when Sam was in Kansas visiting his parents. Gabriel had stayed behind on that trip, claiming that he couldn’t miss work.

Gabriel was fucking her.

A tear dripped on the screen. Sam blinked. He hadn’t even realized he’d been crying. But he had a good reason. Gabriel was cheating on him. Had been for months. Gabriel’s phone dropped to the carpet and Sam buried his face in his hands. He stayed that way for a long while. Crying… and plotting out next steps. He gave Ash another call.

                                                         ***

Gabriel slunk in the door about two hours later. He was surprised to see Sam sitting and waiting for him.

“Hey, Sam. Shouldn’t you be at work?” He asked, tossing his jacket over the back of a chair. Sam didn’t look at him.

“You left your phone at home,” Sam stated, holding it up, but making no move to give it to Gabriel. Gabriel patted his pocket and grinned.

“I guess I did. Thanks, but you should have just left it here for me. My phone was no reason to miss work.” Gabriel walked closer, and Sam turned to face him, face chillingly neutral.

“But it was,” Sam said, voice calm. “See, you got some very important texts from Kali.” To Gabriel’s credit, he barely flinched.

“Oh, really? So important that you had to read them?” Gabriel retorted, just a touch of anger slipping into his tone. Sam grinned, slightly.

“It was an accident. But how we got here doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I know.” Sam said, the smile disappearing as he stood. Gabriel grinned half-heartedly.

“Know what, babe?” Gabriel asked innocently. But the pet name fell flat, and his eyes darted nervously.

“I know what you did last summer,” Sam said bitterly. “I know who you did last summer.” Gabriel let out an awkward laugh and walked to stand by Sam.

“What do you mean, Samshine? You know I don’t have eyes for anyone but you, baby.” Gabriel purred and tried to kiss him. Sam pushed him off.

“Are you sure?” Sam said coldly. “See, the pictures on your phone and the messages I had Ash recover tell a different story.”

“Sam-” Gabriel tried, but Sam walked away. He turned back to face Gabriel, toying with his ring.

“You know, at first I didn’t believe it. I thought there’s no way that Gabriel would cheat. No way in hell. After all, he’s my husband. Till death do us part, right?” Sam ranted, his tone mostly even. Gabriel just stood there.

“Sammy, just let me-” Gabriel pleaded.

“My name is Sam,” Sam said, tone as sharp as broken glass. Gabriel flinched and ducked his head. Ever since they had gotten married, three years ago, Sam hadn’t protested to any of Gabriel’s nicknames.

“Look me in the eyes, lover.” Sam spat. Gabriel looked up, and Sam met his eyes. When they had first met, all those years ago in college, Sam had been attracted to Gabriel’s eyes right away. They were so bright and lively.  Now they were dull and haunted.

“Tell me where you’ve been,” Sam whispered, almost like a prayer. Gabriel shook his head.

“I won’t, Sam. No point,” Gabriel said, tone almost remorseful. “You know.” Sam bit his lip.

“I know, I know, I know.” Sam spat. “But what do I know? I know that another’s hands have touched your skin. I know that you loved me at one time.” Gabriel flinched at the past tense. “I know what you promised me that night. But hey, that doesn’t matter. No, that’s in the past. I’m just hanging on to all the words you used to say.” Without warning, Sam closed the distance between them and pushed Gabriel up against the wall with a bang.

“Sam!” Gabriel squeaked. Sam’s eyes were cold. He could smell something exotic on Gabriel. Kali’s perfume. Sam tightened his grip on Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Tell me something, Gabriel. Do you love her? Is she gonna stay with you? Or did you just throw away our everything for nothing?” Sam hissed, face two inches away from Gabriel’s. He watched Gabriel’s eyes cloud with panic and realization.

“I didn’t mean it though, Sam. You know I didn’t mean it.” Gabriel pleaded. “She doesn’t mean anything to me, baby.” Sam stepped back, releasing Gabriel.

“I know you didn’t mean it. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, Gabriel.” Sam said, emotionless. Despite his shoulder twinging, Gabriel threw himself around Sam.

“She means nothing to me. Don’t let me go, Sam, just hold me close.” Gabriel begged, looking up at Sam, eyes filling with tears. “I’ll do anything, baby, just don’t leave me.” He promised, his eyes telling Sam exactly what he meant by anything.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel,” Sam said, barely keeping his own tears at bay. He freed himself from Gabriel’s grasp and stumbled backward. He held out Gabriel’s phone to him, his hand shaking. Gabriel took it from him.

“So now what?” Gabriel said. Sam stood tall, ignoring the urges telling him to kiss Gabriel and/or punch him.

“I want a divorce. And I want you out of the house.” Sam said, his voice lawyer-serious. Gabriel nodded, his emotions carefully restrained and his face neutral.

“I respect that,” Gabriel said. “You have my number. Text me when I can come and get my shit out of your house.” He turned to leave but paused. Sam held his breath. Gabriel, especially this unknown Gabriel, was a wild card. Gabriel looked back.

“Sam, I still love you.” He confessed. Sam smiled sadly. No matter how much he may change, he was still Gabriel at his core. And it broke Sam’s heart to dwell on it for even a moment.

“I know.”

[inappropriate-use-of-mage-hand]

Without Sam: Gabriel

With Sam: Gaybriel

[eleooooooo]

This just in! Terrible person (me) draws a heartbreaking image and then can’t finish it so I’ll leave this WIP here lmaoo