#safer space

[baconmayoman]

ror

[amaliazeichnerin]

Some thoughts about safe spaces for marginalized people

With the IDAHOBIT and Pride Month approaching, I have seen several pins with pride rainbow colours and the line: "You are safe with me." I have also seen pins with safety pin images with this line. First I thought, that's a nice idea. But then I gave it another thought.

There is an ongoing debate about safe spaces. As in, even in spaces which are meant to be safe, mistakes can happen. Vulnerable people can still get hurt. A safe space is not automatically a place without discrimination. That’s why some people have changed their wording and talk about „safer spaces“ instead of „safe spaces“.

So the thing is that allies may try to be safe people for marginalized people. Spaces can be meant to provide safety. However, there is no guarantee this works all the time. Especially given the sad fact that some marginalized people bully people of their own marginalized group(s).

So while "You are safe with me" is an ideal we should all strive for in my eyes, this may not work in every situation, space or with every person. Please keep this in mind.

[unwelcome-ozian]

[smoresmoresmore]

Becoming my own aesthetic

[queersplay]

This weekend QueersPlay Member Jes will be setting up a safer space at 221BCon in Atlanta, GA at Atlanta Marriott Perimeter Center from April 7-9. While Jes has been to this con several times, this is the first time QueersPlay will be making a presence in Georgia. If you need a safer space to go, we will have one set up. Just find the babe in this photo hanging out with a huge safer space sign in the vendor hall, and show us how Atlanta does it!! Always remember we love you ❤️

[fueled-by-cookies]

[decolonisemenstruation]

Code of Conduct

Decolonise Menstruation - Safer Spaces Policy Decolonise Menstruation was founded by Decolonising Contraception & Bloody Good Period, our Code of Conduct that reflects the principles of both groups. Decolonising Contraception is based on the  principles outlined in their sexfesto and has a safer spaces policy.  More information on Bloody Good Period can be found on their website.

We are at our best when we are inter-sectional; inclusive and diverse. As part of our working we aim to create environments where our collective and others feel secure and respected. We strive to ensure that everyone is treated with dignity and respect regardless of gender, sexual orientation, transgender status, marital or family status, colour, race, nationality, ethnic or national origins, creed, culture, religion or belief, age, immigration status, body size, mental health, neuro (a) typicality, differently abled, skill level, occupation, or background. To ensure that our events meet our standards we like all our members and event attendees to abide by the following principles and use this to guide their behaviour.

We will not tolerate bullying or harassment, whether the conduct is a one-off act or repeated course of conduct, and whether done purposefully or not. It is important to recognise that conduct which one person may find acceptable, another may find totally unacceptable. [dm1] Behaviour that falls short of these principles will be challenged and may lead to you being ejected from the event on the day or asked to commit to an accountability process before returning to future workshops.

Our events at times involve discussing topics that may be difficult for some participants and you should be mindful that they may have experiences that cause or have the potential to cause emotional distress (triggering) e.g sexual assault. It is vital that nobody feels pressured to share a particular experience.

To set the foundations for a safe learning and organising environment please abide by the following, Code of Conduct

In solidarity, Decolonising Contraception Collective, Bloody Good Period and Decolonise Menstruation

Code of Conduct

Respect Confidentiality: don’t repeat anything you hear in Period Club, outside this space without getting informed consent first, this applies to breakout groups, comments and screenshares

Come and go as you need to: but you can type BRB (Be Right Back) or Bye so we know you are or aren’t coming back

Self Care: you know yourself best, so we ask you to participate at the level that feels comfortable and take a break whenever you need Caveat If you can, we ask you to sit with discomfort: Because the most learning comes from gently pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. But you know for yourself, when something is a discomfort versus a trigger and take care of yourself as you see fit.

ONLY Share what feels comfortable & appropriate (for yourself and others): It is vital that nobody feels pressured to share a particular experience. Also discussions may arise that may be difficult for some participants so you should be mindful that they may have experiences that cause or have the potential to cause emotional distress (triggering) e.g sexual assault, FGM please be mindful

Practice Personal Responsibility: DM has a duty of care towards our team members and participants. However, it is necessary that, as with any successful community, each individual takes a share of responsibility towards the group as a whole.

Only speak from your lived-experience: Don’t try to speak on behalf of other people, cultures, communities. You can share anecdotes but don’t speak on behalf of others, be wary of explaining a person’s experiences to them

One person speaks at a time

Step Up / Step Back: if you are shy we will all try to make this a safer space for you to speak so please try to speak up, if you have a dominant personality, try giving softer voices space, try prioritising marginalised voices

Respect difference lived experiences / backgrounds: don’t make assumptions

Challenge discriminatory behaviour It is unlawful to discriminate directly or indirectly against a ‘protected characteristic’. The Equality Act defines the protected characteristics as being age, disability, sex, gender reassignment, pregnancy, maternity, race (which includes colour, nationality, caste and ethnic or national origins), sexual orientation, religion or belief, or because someone is married or in a civil partnership. In addition to the UK law we also don’t accept micro-aggressions or discrimination because of immigration status, employment status,(unemployed or type of employment) or body type.

Challenge the statement not the person: Instead of saying “you are wrong”, say you may not have realised that your comment has this meaning to me

Clarification, there’s no such thing as a silly question: Please feel free to ask anything, there really is no such thing as a silly question, if you are confused that usually means others are as well. You can send a private message to a volunteer who will repeat it to the group anonymously

Conflict resolution: You don’t have to continue in a conversation, but if you choose to continue you have to be willing to answer clarifying questions. This can feel exhausting and unfair but it also can sometimes end an argument which was a misunderstanding rather than a disagreement. Oftentimes, if given the chance, people will understand how they misspoke when they are asked to clarify so it saves everyone emotional energy.

Note: We have a duty to listen to those informing us that they feel harmed by a particular action and to undergo a process of self-reflection to address any harm caused. We all acknowledge that we must continue to educate and learn from our actions.