#sakakite

[diminuel]

How would Dragon react to Kite bringing a very smug Sakazuki to family dinner, except the rest of the family bailed so it was just the three of them.

I decided Dulcinea's there for Dragon's emotional support (and general sabotage). I think Sakazuki won't be smug for long.

[diminuel]

I NEED MORE SAKAKITE MOMENTS

Fleet Admiral faces pirate propaganda in his own ranks! The new generation is already testing him!

Bonus: Traitors must face punishment!

Kite doesn't think it's funny. (Or if she does, she's not admitting it.)

And now I hope we can return to giving Kite better dating options X'D

[diminuel]

I just thought of the most cursed idea to come to my head, what if when Kite was still with Sakazuki they also had that dream of Garp sleeping with their partner after an argument just like Dragon did with Crocodile. So they confided in Dragon and Dragon just had to sigh and be like, i’ve been there before.

Dragon: Maybe your nightmare is telling you that you need to break up with him? Your boyfriend is a Marine, isn't he? Maybe the nightmare is telling you that he will always choose the World Government over you. And you feel guilty about taking the necessary steps to leave before you get too hurt.

Kite: ... Isn't that just your wishful thinking?

Dragon: There are handsome men in the Revolutionary Army too, you know.

[diminuel]

Sorry. I know I have to do penance after this but I couldn't stop thinking about Devil Fruit accidents in the bedroom. The doctors of this world must see some insane things. I'm sure there are inappropriate uses of Devil Fruits or just accidents when people are losing control over their powers. And someone with magma powers might run a bit hot...

I apologize for my train of thought. I am sure Sakazuki appreciators have done a lot with it, but I'm here to torment and embarrass Sakazuki. Sorry Kite, you are collateral damage here.

Now, what do I have to draw to repent for my sins?

[diminuel]

Sakazuki to Garp - I only hate you because I have pent up aggression towards your son

Sakazuki to Crocodile - I only hate you because I have pent up aggression towards your husband

Sakazuki to Luffy - I only hit you because I have pent up aggression towards your father

Sakazuki to Kite - I only hit that cause I have pent up aggression towards your father

Kite - yeah, you are pent up with something alright…

X'DDDDD

How does Kite even tolerate all of this??

[diminuel]

Making kite date sakazuki is so funny because it just "unfortunate news! The worst person you know had a baby with your sibling and now they're invited to the family reunion!" For everyone else

Well, I think it'd be unfortunate news for Sakazuki too, because he does not want to be invited to the family reunion X'D

[diminuel]

Cursed idea for when you are finally through your first conference:

In Rev!Kite AU, Kite and Sakazuki wind up having a one-night stand in a bar when he fails to recognize her identity (due to having no bounty posters for her girl-form yet), and Kite fails to recognize Sakazuki with the mustache and out of uniform.

Both of them thought they were hooking up with a look-alike of the person the other actually is (they knew the other looked similar, but didn’t realize THATS WHO IT WAS), until the next morning when both their allies came to pick them up and the shitty motel they’d slept in became a battle ground.

Despite the “relationship” being a one night stand, Big News Morgan’s had a field day with this discovery, so now EVERYONE knows and thus everyone makes jokes about Kite’s bad taste in men (if they’re revolutionaries or pirates). Or Sakazuki’s terrible taste in partners (if they’re marines)

Thank you for this! I need all the cursed ideas to replenish my energy!!! You can imagine me in a similar state as Luffy post Gear 5 right now X'D Please feed me...!

I was also thinking that the only ways that a Rev!Kite might hook up with Sakazuki is if they're in a dingy bar, flickering candle lights, clouds of cigar smoke, maybe alcohol has already flown liberally and them not recognizing who the other is, just as you're suggesting here!

Or - because I enjoy being evil - the other option is a fuck or die situation.

But let's think about this one, because it is a public scandal if you involve Morgans! Maybe they don't even have to be picked up by other people, they may just quietly slip away into the early morning, never to think about it again. If it wasn't for some photographer who managed to snap a picture because they might have been tailing either of the two, trying to get some information for Morgans. And this is Big News!! The Fleet Admiral having a secret love affair with a Revolutionary!! (When it was just a one-night stand.)

And this might also lead to some very uncomfortable conversations in the HQ office! What is Brannew supposed to do? Kite is a revolutionary, that makes her a criminal which warrants a bounty! But if she is Sakazuki's secret lover, then can they do that??! Of course Sakazuki would barge in and say that they should assign her a bounty already! All criminals must die!! (How tragic, the officers at HQ would think, but of course Sakazuki's got to uphold a system of justice that is absolute, so now he has to kill the love of his life! What dedication to the World Government! Justice above all else!! <- what Aramaki would probably say.)

I don't know how it would be received in the RA at first because Morgans has a habit of spinning a story every which way it pleases him. I think Kite's pretty straight forward about it though - she had no idea who he was and maybe gives overly detailed information to get people off her case. And then there's of course Sabo, Koala and co who might make sure nobody starts doubting Kite's dedication to the RA. And this does more to hurt Sakazuki's reputation than it does trust in the RA. What remains is people teasing her about her bad taste in men and you know what? That's fair.

(Of course, other than Dragon, Crocodile finds this rather amusing.)

[diminuel]

If it was akainu Kite hooked up with I just know Kizaru would know. Not because anyone told him. Not because them two gave away any hints at all. He was just at his desk one day and like divine intervention he was “blessed” (more like cursed) of the knowledge of this. Like some twisted Monkey family drama intuition . He joked about it to Akainu thinking ‘hey this is stupid and would never happen!’ But after getting kicked out that room so fast he is hit with the rude awakening.

(I'm scrolling through my inbox to look for something and saw this again! So many gems still hidden in my inbox *lol*)

I would love for the poor guy to be tormented with knowledge about what Sakazuki is getting up to. He doesn't want to have Monkey family drama intuition! It really is a curse!! *lol*