#salemwritesathing

[bitebitekxll]

Do they purr - genshin non-humans

៚ Zhongli ✧ Xiao ✧ Wanderer ✧ Albedo ✧ Venti

Notes: Holy hell how do I have 50 followers??? THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUPPORTING MY SILLY MUSINGS. This literally was just my way to learn how to write smut and post self-indulgent head canons but I’m glad people are enjoying this with me :DDDD

𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐈 ᥫ᭡

Yes, 100%. He will deny it every time but lay on this man’s chest, maybe press a kiss to his jaw, and his chest is going like a fucking engine. He will insist that it’s not a purr, it’s simply a content growl— or perhaps a rumble, at most. He isn’t some measly cat, after all, he is a mighty dragon, the Prime Adeptus—

It’s definitely a purr.

Get him a cat ear hairband. He will give you the most long-suffering, unamused look while he wears them, but he will wear them. Anything for his beloved ♡~

𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎 ᥫ᭡

No, unfortunately. You have found no evidence that your stone-faced Yaksha is capable of emitting a purr, or purr-like sound (though certainly not for lacking of trying).

However… there is the matter of whether he is able to trill or coo like a bird, given that is his true nature.

He gets annoyed when you ask him, adamant that is not something he can do, and how dare you even entertain such a notion. Have you no respect for the adepti? Hmph.

…but you swear you’ve heard him chirp when you catch him off guard: kissing him without warning or praising him unabashedly.

It seems this will require further investigation.

𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀 ᥫ᭡

Not purring, but whirring!! Got this idea from @seabirdtxt ‘s Glitch in Irminsul fic (it’s SAGAU focused on the diff vers of scara existing at the same time, go read it it’s great) and it just makes so much sense to me.

As a mechanical puppet, and an advanced one at that, Scara has tons of machinery going on inside of him. Though it usually can’t be heard, if you get especially close to his chest— a privilege only reserved for you and maybe Nahida during hugs —you can hear the whirring and clicking of his moving parts inside. It doesn’t sound the same as a purr, not exactly, but it’s pretty damn close.

Most of the time it’s pretty faint, but sometimes Scara might just make it louder— it’s got nothing to do with the way your face lights up or how you smile when you hear it, don’t be stupid.

Of course, the only way he can make the noise louder is by overworking his system, making the parts inside move faster than they’re supposed to. If he does it too much or for too long, well…

You’ll know it’s time to lecture him on taking better care of himself when he starts burning up. Overheating is the first sign he’s about to overload his system and shut down (or from everyone else’s perspective: pass out).

You’re the only one who can make him stupid enough to be willing to break his own mechanisms just to see that adorable ridiculous expression on your face. (He might come back to his senses in a petulant huff if you start calling him a cat, tho)

𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐎 ᥫ᭡

Sadly, purring is not a feature homunculi come with. But this is Albedo we’re talking about, he can definitely figure it out.

He won’t tell you just what idea you’ve sparked with your question— you always worry when he starts self-experimenting —but it’ll be fine! He takes all the necessary precautions, limits any risk, because there’s always some risk in life, and downs a concoction or two in his quest to see if he can change the makeup of his own body. As an artificial life form, he’s less delicate than an organic one, so he doesn’t need to worry about pesky issues like rearranging his (non-existent) organs in a fatal manner.

And it works! Well, sort of. You come back home to a boyfriend that is fully capable of purring!! And also!! Has, uh, cat ears…

Albedo would consider it a success— he accomplished his goal, even if there were a few side effects. And you get a pretty catboy equipped with the cute, twitching ears and a fuzzy blonde tail; everybody wins! ♡

Of course, there’s always the chance his experiment just turns him into a cat entirely… but it wears off after a day or so, so it’s not the worst thing Albedo’s done to himself.

Either way, congratulations, he can now purr for the next 24 hours. And regardless of his cat-to-boy ratio, he will be expecting pets. Get to it~

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈 ᥫ᭡

He has bird vocalisations! Except he’s worse at hiding it then Xiao may or may not be. It’s not outright chirping, but it is a cooing trill in the back of his throat, too vibrational to be a regular hum.

It’s the sound he makes when he’s perfectly content, laying in a warm patch of sun on the soft grass, sat atop a roof with alcohol warming his veins, and curled up in your arms, round cheek smushed against your chest. He takes in a deep breath, filling his lungs with your scent, and then releasing it in a sigh, accompanied by the musical tones of his little trill.

He makes shorter ones when he’s pleasantly surprised; when you unexpectedly toss him an apple or pat his head. He’ll grin or lean into the touch and make that sound in his throat. Too quiet to be heard by the people around you over the din of the town, but you’ll hear it. It’s a sound just for you ♡

[bitebitekxll]

Kinktober ‘24 || Day 6

NSFW || MDNI

sex work | overstimulation | mind break

Thoma x gender neutral top!reader

Notes: I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN OVER MY SMUT BURNOUT. Gonna be back to working my way through the kinktober days (no one ever finishes these in time anyways, right?) Reader tops but you can see it as AMAB or a strap, it’s referred to as a ‘cock’ but not specified.

Not proof-reading this so if there’s a typo, no there isn’t <3

Masterlist . Kink list

THOMA being among the first to hear about the Irodori Festival, as close as he is with the Kamisato Siblings. He, like everyone else, is brimming with excitement at this mark of a new era, a sign the war and the Sakoku Decree are truly over.

THOMA running around as his job as a ‘fixer’ and ensuring all the Yashiro Commission's affairs are going smoothly, so determined to make the festival go perfectly that Ayaka and Ayato are forced to order him to take a break for his own health.

THOMA, who is most comfortable when working hard, so of course it’s only a few hours into his first day off that he starts to get antsy. He says he’s fine, laments that he’s basically been put on house arrest but acknowledges that it could do him some good. But you know your boyfriend, and you know he can’t stand being idle when others are working hard. By the time he’s knitted his twelfth animal sweater in the span of two hours, you decide you need to help the poor man get out of his head.

THOMA, who looks like a vision after the fifth orgasm has been wrung out of him; eyes rolled back into his head, face wet with tears and drool. His pale skin flushes so pretty, Mondstadt genetics working hard to ensure he’s as red as the vision laying on the bedside table— all the way down his neck and chest right down to the head of his leaky cock.

THOMA, who can’t even get proper words out anymore, fucked dumb as high pitched whines escape his throat.

THOMA who babbles out your name— or at least, his best approximation of it. Syllables melt together in his mouth and devolve into mindless groans, broken up each time you nail his prostate. “Guh-uh-uh— please~”

THOMA whose eyes might as well have hearts in them, looking up at you with a reverence he could never muster for any archon. Any coherent thought pushed out of his mind, only leaving you, youyouyou—

THOMA cumming dry, nothing left in his balls, but his body twitches gloriously through every aftershock. He whimpers when you try to pull out, ankles locking behind you back as he pulls you closer.

“More, more, ngh… please♡—”

THOMA being addicted to the pleasure, demanding you don’t stop. Even when he starts to cry, even when it starts to hurt, even when he’s past the point of even a dry orgasm. Fuck this poor man until his eyes roll back into his head and he checks out entirely. Maybe he’s unconscious, maybe his brain has just fried beyond repair and there’s not a drop of intelligence left to be demonstrated.

THOMA will be fine tomorrow, after all. He’ll be dressed smartly; ever the capable retainer and friendly fixer of Inazuma. But today, keep him in the state he’s happiest in: broken, wet and full of your cock♡~

[bitebitekxll]

Physical Catalyst

Notes: Years ago I read an isekai fic that referred to guns as ‘physical catalysts’ which is where I got the name from (haven’t been able to find it but I’ll link it if I do) but the rest are just my own musings about a reader with a gun in Teyvat. Also first attempt at making a divider, but I think it’s kinda cool

So whether it’s SAGAU or regular isekai, imagine reader is in Teyvat, no one knows they’re not from Teyvat, and they have a gun.

This in and of itself isn’t a big deal, most people carry weapons in this world and tons of them have guns. But the thing is, they’re not the same as real world guns, are they?

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but every case of guns we’ve seen in genshin (pyro fatui skirmishers, Chevreuse) shoot out what looks like elemental energy. Maybe they’re bullets infused with elemental energy, like what we see with the arrows for the bow users, except the bow users can still shoot regular arrows. We never see the guns shoot regular/non elemental bullets.

Which is why my theory (that might be pulled apart in a future update but for now…) is that they don’t exist. Teyvat guns are capable of shooting elemental energy, maybe fuelled by the wielder’s vision/delusion or maybe using some kind of pellets, but they are not equipped to shoot with the force needed to make a regular bullet be of any use.

So when reader shows up and has a gun from their world? Oh boy. A handgun is no weapon of mass destruction, but anything that can take down a lawachurl in one well-aimed headshot will terrify Teyvat’s inhabitants. I mean, their guns do damage too, sure, but it’s a relative amount. A burn from a shot of pyro, a shock from a shot of electro. The concept of a gun that can instantly kill someone, quicker and easier than an arrow? Using a tiny piece of metal that isn’t even sharp and doesn’t explode? You are going to throw entire nations into chaos.

If word gets out about it, you’re gonna have law enforcement from across all the continent investigating you, not to mention the fatui— be prepared for the harbingers to be hunting down your ass trying to get their hands on such a powerful weapon

Of course that’s only if you let the cat out of the bag. Use your weapon away from prying eyes, and you’ll probably be fine. Dead hiluchurls tell no tales, after all. Or men, if you’re more chill with murder.

It probably wouldn’t be too hard to find a metalsmith who could take one of your bullets and make more. Though I wonder what explanation you’d give as to what it is, without giving away the ‘deadliest handheld weapon in history’ thing.

Idk I just think the introduction of bullet-operated guns in Teyvat is interesting, might write some stuff for the different characters reactions to it at some point

[bitebitekxll]

Sfw ask:

Genshin men with a sick reader headcanons

Diluc, Kaeya, Kazuha, Ayato, can remove or add if you’d like

What they do when you’re sick

៚ Diluc ✧ Kaeya ✧ Kazuha ✧ Ayato ✧ Childe

Notes: FIRST FIC ASK LETS GOOO!! Also happy holidays everyone <3

For a character I am the least sure about characterising, Ayato’s somehow became the longest?? Fingers crossed I did him justice. Also couldn’t resist spreading my malewife Childe agenda so he’s in this too. Hope you enjoy ~

𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂 ᥫ᭡

Even if Dawn Winery has a whole set staff on hand, he will insist on taking care of you himself; making sure you take your medicine on time, cooking you meals, doing anything he can to ensure your work doesn’t suffer in your absence. The only way to convince him to let Adelinde handle it, is to remind him he can’t hold you if he’s running around. He’s quiet. Not his usual comfortable silence, but one that adds a weighted air to all actions as he stays vigil at your side. Diluc doesn’t like feeling helpless and hates when you’re uncomfortable so you can bet he’ll be extra fussy over you when you’re sick.

(Not to mention vigilant to ensure you don’t get sick in the first place. Going out in the rain? Not without his umbrella you’re not. Venturing into Dragonspine? What a coincidence, he happens to have business there. Yes, really. But, oh it seems they cancelled last minute so now he will of course accompany you. His pyro vision can provide better warmth than whatever few seelies you come across, so it’s only reasonable he tag along.)

You might need to literally thwack him a couple of times to get him to stop being overbearing, but you can guarantee you’ll be taken care of with all your needs attended to.

𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐀 ᥫ᭡

He won’t let you lift a finger the whole time you’re recovering. It doesn’t matter if you only have a bit of a cold, he will physically pick you up over his shoulder and drag you away from work/chores/any responsibility. If someone even dares to suggest you do something while unwell— even if you make it clear you can handle it —he will mercilessly cut them down with that little bastard smile of his playing on his lips.

“You can’t possibly be suggesting our dear Y/N take care of that in this condition. After everything they’ve done for us, no one would be selfish enough to deprive them of some well-earned rest, hm?”

This man will convince the whole of Mond that you need to be spoiled when sick. Good luck doing anything without people rushing to help you with that, no no sit down, you should rest, actually why don’t we just call Sir Kaeya, I’m sure I saw him around—

He does make sure not to annoy you too much with his antics, letting you be independent when it seems like you’re reaching your limit (as long as the task isn’t too taxing) and he’ll be sure to keep you company while you’re stuck at his home.

If you do get bored of being inside he’ll take you out, but don’t expect to set a foot on the ground as long as he’s there.

𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐇𝐀 ᥫ᭡

Though he’s no physician, Kazuha is excellent at dealing with illness and injuries. He had to take care of his own by himself before joining the Crux, after all. And even now, he’s often sought out by the crew during voyages when someone needs medical attention. His calm and reassuring demeanour only further makes him the perfect candidate to be at your bedside.

After doing whatever he can to ease your symptoms, he lets you rest your head in his lap. Expect to be lulled to sleep by nimble fingers carding through your hair, and the sweet whistling tones of a leaf as Kazuha plays it for you— and you still can’t figure out how he manages to do that. He presses kisses to your forehead, your knuckles, your lips: you can remind him that your illness is contagious, but he’ll just smile and kiss you again softly.

“There is no greater honour, nor privilege I can imagine, than sharing the burdens of the one you love. Don’t fret, my dear. Let me hold the weight of all your troubles, and let me hold you, for as long as you will grant me that pleasure.”

𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐓𝐎 ᥫ᭡

For a man who is so powerful, so composed in public, he is a complete kid with you. He would mope and whine when you tell him you’re not getting out of bed that day. He’s always so bored when you leave him on his lonesome, and even if he can’t be by your side every second he still loves knowing there’s a chance of running into you around the estate or Inazuma itself. So of course he’ll try to goad you into getting up, wanting the two of you to start the day together.

But he changes his tune the moment he realises you’re truly unwell.

Ayato doesn’t hesitate to wrap you up in his arms for the duration of your illness. It’s not like Diluc where he insists on doing the work himself, he gets the staff to bring you whatever you need according to the doctor, but only so he can dedicate all his time showering you in love and affection. You get even more attention from him while you’re sick than you usually do (a feat that should be impossible). He’s a clingy bastard and is fully prepared to let the commission suffer until you’re better, unwilling to part for even a moment while you’re in this state. (He’s lucky Ayaka and Thoma keep things running in the meantime, but you can bet he’s in for a scolding from his sister when he returns to his duties).

If you don’t like being touched while sick, he’ll just stay by your side and keep you company. But if you give him the okay? Prepare for him to take advantage of you being stuck in bed to love on you ‘til his heart’s content.

“You know… some say the best way to recover from a cold is to pass it to someone else…”

By the time you’re feeling better, the idiot’s gotten himself sick. You can lecture him about being careless all you want, he just gives you a pleased grin as he looks up at you adoringly. Naturally, he never learns his lesson.

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄 ᥫ᭡

Will immediately panic when he sees you’re in bad shape. He’s equal parts alarmed and enraged, ready to seek vengeance on your behalf. Once he realises you’re just sick and not recovering from an attack, he’s more in his element. As a Snezhnayan, Childe is no stranger to illness. Young children, especially, are less tolerant to the cold, so he’s had plenty of experience looking after his younger siblings in that regard. He extends the same care to you: keeping a cooled wet towel on your forehead to settle your fever, cleaning your home with a frenzied determination, never allowing dust to settle and irritate your lungs.

Don’t even bother trying to eat yourself, he will feed you while you recline back on the mountain of pillows he fluffed up minutes prior. He makes the warm soup himself, but instead of the usual seafood concoctions he’s known for, it’s a much simpler, pleasant dish.

“My mother’s cure-all recipe; there’s nothing better for when you’re sick! The kids love it. In fact, Teucer’s even faked sick before just so she would make it for him, the little rascal. Try a bite, I promise you’ll be fighting fit in no time!”

Big malewife energy the whole time he’s taking care of you. He’s concerned about your health, of course, but because he’s done this before for his family he doesn’t feel panicked. Instead, he’s all warm smiles and attentive affection, making jokes to cheer you up while he keeps an eye on your condition. If you need anything from him, anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask.

[bitebitekxll]

Kinktober ‘24 || Day 1

NSFW || MDNI

uniform | lingerie | evil twin

Venti x gender neutral!reader

Notes: oh god Day 1, let’s do this. Not technically lingerie but like,,, c’mon, you’ve SEEN his archon outfit, I say it counts.

CW: use of the word ‘slut’, mention of ‘asking for it’ based on outfit (but all interactions are vv consensual), dirty talk in general

Masterlist . Kink list

“This is your archon form?”

It was absurd. You had been expecting something elegant, regal even; something befitting of a god as old as him. But as usual, Venti could never follow what was expected of an archon.

“Something wrong?” he asked teasingly, his face upside down as he lounged on one of the thick branches of Venessa’s tree. The way he was completely limp, back arched over the branch with his upper body and legs dangling on either side, showcased his flexibility, and with what he was wearing you could see every twitch and line of tension in his muscles.

“You went up in front of all of Mondstadt like this?” You stared at him in disbelief. “You look like you’re wearing lingerie.”

The impish little god burst out laughing, nearly falling out of the tree. If not for his wings frantically adjusting his balance, he certainly would have. Instead, with a move far too grateful for a man known as the local drunkard, he slipped out of the tree and landed lightly before you, summoning a wind current to slow his descent.

“How rude. Is this how you treat your god?” He purred, not looking offended in the slightest. His arms came up to wrap around your shoulders, leaning into you.

“When that god looks like a slut…” you muttered, grabbing him by his waist. His waist that was completely bare, nothing obscuring his smooth alabaster skin. The outfit he wore barely covered his modesty at the bottom, with the top half only just hiding his nipples. It was clear the statues made in his likeness were far more… generous with the amount of cloth his archon guise was composed of.

The word seemed to strike a chord in him and you could hear his breath stuttering, pupils blown wide. Running your hand down his side, you played with the scrap of fabric that made up his shorts. The material was thin and, with the way he pressed his hips into you, you could easily feel the outline of his small cock, already half hard.

“Is that why you dress like this?” You slipped your hand past the waistband of Venti’s shorts. “You parade around wearing these scraps hoping someone would see their beloved archon as the slut he really is, huh?” His hands curled into the back of your shirt, clinging to you as his knees buckled. You caught him before the poor thing could fall, shifting your collective weight so he could stay upright, clutching you.

“That’s not… true,” he protested weakly, squirming as he tried to move his hips up, tried to close the distance between your fingertips skimming his v-line, and his weeping cock that begged for attention.

“So needy, Barbatos~” The sound of his archon name made him buck harshly, and you didn’t give him a moment to breathe before you wrapped your palm around him.

“Ah♡~” Venti moaned, forehead dropping to rest on your shoulder.

“Gods, yes, yes!” His pretty wails grew louder as you sped up, gripping his length tightly while circling your thumb over the top. When you dug your nail into his slit, his plush lips opened around a punched out cry, his wings snapping forward to surround the both of you.

The sudden movement offset your balance, and the two of you tumbled back onto the grass. Despite Venti shielding you from the impact, he didn’t even seem to notice, writhing as he begged for more stimulation. Leaning down, you licked a stripe over his ribs, tracing the glowing blue markings that inked his skin.

“Look at you,” you murmured against his lithe body. “Dressed like this…” With your free hand, you grabbed his face, squishing his round cheeks as you forced him to meet your gaze. “You’re fucking asking for it, aren’t you? Desperate for anyone off the street to realise you’re nothing but a slutty little pleasurepet who wants to be used.”

“Gah—guh, huh—” Venti couldn’t even form words. Even if you hadn’t been smushing his face, his tongue was numb in his mouth, unwilling to cooperate as he mindlessly babbled from your touch. Finally, as he got close to the edge, he managed to get out, “Can I— canIpleasecanI—”

“Go on.” With your permission, he let the orgasm hit him with full force. He threw his head back, small tufts from his feathers raining down on you as his wings quivered, the cocoon tightening around you like he was unwilling to let you pull away. You pulled your hand out of his shorts, a wet spot staining the material and making him look even more debauched.

“Hm~ Cuddles?” Cracking one eye open, Venti weakly flapped his hands to beckon you closer. You knew he wouldn’t let you get up for a while. Laying on top of him with a sigh, you decided to take the chance to doze off. Venti could always take care of you in return after your nap.

[bitebitekxll]

Kinktober ‘24 || Day 2

NSFW || MDNI

public humiliation | cum inflation | priest kink

Priest!Cyno x AMAB!reader

Notes: I SPENT THE ENTIRE MONTH JUST TRYING TO WRITE THIS. Idk WHY I got stuck on it so badly, but it’s finally here. The next one will not take as long I promise I’ve already gotten half of it written (tho there’s no telling if it’ll still be this year by the time I finish this year’s kinktober)

CW: NONCON/DUBCON. Whether you see this as reader having incubus thrall powers or not (it’s never specified) Cyno is clearly coerced and unable to escape after multiple attempts to pull away. Mind break/corruption I guess??

Masterlist . Kink list

So, AU where it’s still teyvat as we know it, but Cyno is a priest for Kusanali. I can’t imagine Cyno not being a fighter so let’s say he still enacts judgment on criminals as a hobby.

And everything is as it should be UNTIL he stumbles across a group attempting to summon a creature from the abyss. He deals with them, of course, but ends up accidentally spilling his blood on the ritual site, inadvertently binding himself to you.

Countless hours upon days upon weeks of searching for a solution prove fruitless. But when he realises that you can’t harm him or anyone else as long as you’re tied to him, he decides that for the safety of everyone he will bear the burden of your presence. You’re determined to prove this beloved priest isn’t as pure as he pretends to but to no avail. Wealth, power, cruelty, none of these things sway him from his duties.

Sure, bothering Cyno is always fun, but you start to tire of the same song and dance, of being little more than a nuisance. So you try the one thing you haven’t tempted him with yet: pleasure.

You catch him while he’s praying, wanting to take advantage of him on his knees. It’s easy to drape yourself over his back, to trace your palms down his chest while he tries to ignore your touch, whispering taunts in his ear.

He tries to grumble about your behaviour, but his words cut off with a sharp inhale as you slip his earlobe into your mouth. Your arm is a brand around his waist, too strong from him to successfully jerk away.

“I can make you feel so much better than your precious piety,” you purr, hooking a claw in his collar. It tears through the fabric like butter and, while you shove one thigh between both of his, you realise despite all his objections he’s rock hard.

He would glare at you after you slam his back onto the floor, snarl and try to fight while you pin him down. But all his strength is no match for an inhuman being like yourself.

“What are you trying to accomplish?” His ruby gaze looks up at you through snowy eyelashes. It would almost be pretty if not for the scowl that marred it. “The bond won’t allow you to harm me.”

“But it’s not harm if it feels good, is it?”

He looks gorgeous, wrists pinned by one of your hands above his head, hair disheveled and clothes torn open revealing his defined chest. With your free hand, you lightly circle the expanse of his neck, pondering what to do with him at your mercy.

He threatens you, tries to ward you off, but the second you get your fingers in mouth he goes still. You don’t even need to hold open his jaw— the man doesn’t even try to bite down.

For a man so proud, so stoic, he falls so quickly the second he gets a taste of the sin he’s been avoiding his whole life. Even gagging around your fingers, tears beading in the corner of his eyes, he’s limp and unwilling to fight back. Push down on his tongue and watch his eyes roll back into his head, grind down on him and he groans so prettily.

He looks even better once you replace your fingers with something bigger. The mere sight of your cock makes his eyes go glassy, gets him panting like a dog as you fist his hair, pulling him close. He doesn’t know what to do, that much is obvious, but it’s nothing some gentle encouragement can’t fix.

“Let me in baby, just like you did with my fingers,” you murmur, a sweet tone hiding how thoroughly you were planning to wreck him. Cyno tongues clumsily at your tip before letting it slip past his lips, slowly taking your length into his mouth.

Too slow, in fact.

He chokes as you slam into him, making him take you to the hilt. He cries around your cock, words muffled and barely intelligible— “Ngh♡~ ‘oo ‘ig~” —but you don’t let him move away as you start to fuck his throat without remorse.

He whines and his throat constricts around you, struggling to take it all, but he remains hard throughout. Eventually, he goes limp, hands curled into the material of your trousers as he accepts his position. Cyno can choke and cry but he can’t hide the fact he’s hard, his usual cold exterior stripped away and reduced to a wet, desperate mess. Even after you cum down his throat, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he struggles to swallow everything, he still can’t get enough. Pulling away only leads to him whining, following you to close the distance once more. He babbles around your cock, words unintelligible, but his actions make it clear he refuses to be dragged away.

Such a pretty little priest just for you… how could you possibly resist stealing him away for yourself? It’s not like he’d be able to go back to his previous life after all, after such a hard fall into sin and depravity. The scattered thoughts in his head can barely come together and when they do, the only thought in his head is getting to be used by you.

[bitebitekxll]

Childe w/ an Autistic SO

Notes: This was meant to be a self-indulgent thing for Valentine’s Day but then my internet broke around then so happy late February I guess? Yes I am autistic, and yes Childe is my favourite, so enjoy (also obligatory ‘I’m basing this on my experience of autism, which isn’t universal’ reminder)

Fun fact, the pattern recognition part is literally how I solve like 90% of genshin puzzles, very handy… except for when it randomly stops working.

CW: Very light sh mention during the meltdown part (hitting/biting). Skip the end of the post if you need to <3

✧ 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Childe cooks for his siblings all the time, so of course he’ll do the same for you! He might be strict about making sure you eat healthy— gotta keep you fighting fit, after all —but if there’s something you genuinely can’t stand, it’s off the menu without question. Eating should be enjoyable, a time to enjoy the presence of your friends or family while having a delicious treat, and anyone who even dares to suggest you’re acting ‘spoiled’ or ‘rude’ by not wanting to eat certain foods will quickly find themselves facing the brunt of our boy’s pretty dead eyes. Whether it’s a food that could send you into a meltdown from the sensation, or just something you have a mild distaste for, you never need to justify or explain yourself to him.

Just say the word comrade, and you’ll never have to touch that dish again~

✧ 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Not up for socialising? Don’t worry, he’s charming enough for the both of you! It doesn’t matter if you always struggle with social interaction, or if you’re just not able to handle it in that specific moment, he’ll direct all the attention away from you. If someone doesn’t get the hint that you don’t wanna talk, he’ll be happy to scare them off for you. He’s basically an excitable murderous big dog.

✧ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ✧

There are all sorts of treasures and secrets littered around Teyvat; ruins and domains and alcoves hidden behind tricky mechanisms. And with your wandering hands idly finding the correct combination to get through a puzzle, you and Childe can breeze straight to the fun stuff! Especially because these places are usually crawling with monsters for him to fight.

You can downplay it all you want, say it’s just ‘dumb luck’ and that you have no idea how you figure out what to do, that you’re not smart and just following a gut feeling, it all goes in one ear and out the other. Childe’s too busy cheering and he scoops you up and spins you around, celebrating both your ability and the fact that he doesn’t have to bang his head against the wall trying to figure it out himself.

✧ 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ✧

The first time you get overstimulated he’ll panic, hating to see you in distress but not knowing how to help. But after you talk about it, and he experiences it a few times, he will effortlessly be able to do whatever you need from it. You’re his love, after all, and he takes your well-being more seriously than any battle,

He will absolutely abuse his position as a Harbinger to make sure you can get somewhere quiet whenever and wherever you need it. His office at Northland Bank, the Goth Hotel in Mondstadt, a private room in any high end restaurant nearby— there’s nowhere he can’t get in with a mix of money, power, and intimidation.

✧ 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Constantly gets you little trinkets and mechanisms to stim with. It’s similar to the toys he gets for Teucer, but palm-sized and with a few modifications. A little ruin guard with a top half that spins, a squishy Sumeru Fungus with giant adorable eyes, a small whale keychain with a felt underbelly that you can scratch— anything sensation you could ask for, he’ll get it made for you. At a certain point you wonder if he actually does have a secret side hustle as a toy seller (though likely not for long, considering he gives it all to you for free. Not exactly the best business model.)

✧ 𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐓𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ✧

With battle senses as honed as his, and the way he starts watching you like a hawk when he sees you in distress, he can practically act before the meltdown even hits. Childe will put his hands in the way to take the brunt of any hit you aim at your head or bite you target your arm with. Every. Single. Time. Don’t worry if you leave a bruise, he can barely even feel it compared to the injuries he’s used to!

And hey, if you can feel beforehand that you might hurt yourself, you can just hurt him instead! …don’t give him that look, it’ll be like a spar! Just swing at him; he won’t even dodge, not if it’ll help. And if it won’t, then he’ll wait for whatever you need like an overgrown puppy. Hugs or space, company or solitude, whatever will help. (He might be a little sad if you wanna be left alone, but he understands— he’ll resign himself to just worrying until he sees you again. He won’t blame you for it, of course not, never, it’s not your fault he wants to spend every second with you.)

TL;DR: our boy is attentive af and will do everything he can to make sure you stay safe and comfy.

[bitebitekxll]

Kinktober ‘24 || Day 4

NSFW || MDNI

feet | double penetration | nipple play

Zhongli x gender neutral!reader

Notes: Fun fact, this was the first nsfw thing I EVER wrote. (Also yes day 2 is still fighting with me leave me alone)

Masterlist . Kink list

The conversation happened late one night in his apartment above the funeral parlour. Both of you were a few cups deep in the Osmanthus Wine Zhongli always kept stocked, likely the only reason you even ended up on this topic in the first place.

“Didn’t you used to be the God of War, or something?” you asked him, lazily sprawled across his bed.

Zhongli sat prim and proper in his desk chair with only the light blush dusting his cheeks giving away his inebriation. “Indeed I was,” he replied, eyes half lidded as he propped his cheek on his fist. For a man so composed, seeing the slightest loss of said composure looked almost scandalous. Even the way his jacket and waistcoat was removed, tie loosened and hanging low, made him look completely undressed. “And in some ways, I suppose some parts of me always will be.”

“But… you’re so tame.” You lifted your head slightly, meeting his eyes. “I don’t think anyone would believe a god of war has the demeanour of a retired old man.”

“I am a retired old man.” He chuckled, watching you intently. “But I was not always like this. I believe what you’re picturing is how I was in my youth.”

During the archon war, he did not say. But you heard it nonetheless.

Curiously, you rolled over on your stomach, keeping your head up so you could get a better look at him. “So what were you like back then? Feral? Hotheaded? Ravaging anyone you came across?”

“In more ways than one,” Zhongli muttered, and you were sure you had misheard him.

Did he just—

Was he implying—

Blinking, you sat up, hopelessly fascinated by the turn this conversation was taking. Whether it was the alcohol or a stroke of insanity, Zhongli acted like what he had said was perfectly par for the course. Testing the waters, you decided to be as blunt as possible, to see if it would snap him out of the nonchalance or if his confession was truly a calculated one.

“So the old man knows how to fuck,” you said. “Gotta admit, I didn’t expect that.”

If anything, his low chuckle grew more devious. Hiding a smirk behind his palm, he gave you an almost smug look. “When you have lived for as long as I have… there’s not much you haven’t experienced.”

Okay, he was definitely drunker than he looked. But then again, so were you if you were encouraging this madness.

“What exactly do those experiences include?”

“…would you like a demonstration?”

Fuckkkk. What the hell was happening?

Before you could even begin to process, he stood up and began walking towards you. Gloved fingers tracing down the buttons of his shirt, he began undoing them as he loomed over where you sat on the bed. Hardly believing your luck that he was actually going through with this, you shuffled back to make room for him to crawl over you, eagerly assisting him with the rest of his shirt.

If you thought he was undressed before, now he was positively debauched. His open shirt hung from his broad frame, revealing tanned skin and the rippling muscles from millennia of physical training. Peeking out from the shoulders were black scales, and you knew the coloring would extend down under his sleeves to the rest of his arms, inked with those elegant golden patterns he kept hidden: a sign of his divinity he couldn’t hide even like this.

As his head ducked down, lips angling to meet yours, you couldn’t help reaching out to feel, to place your palms against the hard planes of his chest, gliding across the smooth skin. And then, as your touch gravitated to the dusky brown peaks of his nipples, thumbs absentmindedly brushing over the buds, Zhongli jerked back.

His body jolted like a current had passed through it, the sound ripped from his throat deep and guttural and obscene. His head had fallen back, the long expanse of his throat and trembling Adam's apple free for your eyes to feast on.

“What..?” He panted, head lolling to the side as he tried to turn his gaze back to you. “What did you just..?”

Fascinated by the reaction, you lightly brushed it again— just one this time —only to have him cry out once more. “Was this not included in your experience?” You asked, grinning slyly. “You’ve never had your nipples touched?”

“My—” You didn’t let him finish, twisting them this time. Zhongli grunted, hips bucking harshly as he doubled over. The hands he had placed on your shoulders were the only thing keeping him from falling into you entirely. “But this form… I’m not a woman…” He spoke in between his struggles for air, face pinched like the pleasure he was feeling was painful.

“Is that what you think? That only women feel good from this?” As if to prove your point, you pressed down on one of his nipples, rubbing circles on it with the pad of your thumb. Finally collapsing, his head fell onto your shoulder, unable to hold himself up as his body writhed with the sensations you were administering. “Plenty of men find it enjoyable to be touched here. And you seem especially—” You meanly flicked one of the hardened buds, causing him to sputter, choking at the intensity of the feeling. “—sensitive.”

It was heady, having this powerful man, this god who’s lifespan was incomprehensible to your mortal mind, fall apart so beautifully in your lap. All he could do was cling to you while his body wracked with pleasure, helpless as you played with his nipples, an unrelenting and merciless attack.

“Can’t—” He groaned, breath picking up even more as he started muttering in your ear. “You need to stop, or I’ll— ‘M gonna—”

Instead of stopping, you had a better idea. Pushing him slightly, just so he was upright again in front of you, you met Zhongli’s lust-drunk (and regular drunk) gaze with your own wicked one. Without warning, you pressed your lips to his nipple, sealing them around the peak, and sucked.

You had no idea it was possible for Zhongli’s rich, dulcet tones to get so high. He mewled, clinging to your arms so tightly you felt the pricks of his claws through your clothes— they must have extended through the material of his gloves, as out of it as he was. Tremors ran through him as his hips snapped forward and he came, chanting your name under his breath. Slumping into you once again, he let himself try to catch his breath as you released his abused nipples from your torture. Snaking your arms around his waist, you held him tight to your chest, already planning your next move.

You were nowhere near done with him; the two of you were in for quite a fun night.