I think sometimes about an obnoxious, entitled teenage Sam. A Sam who's bitter about his big brother (or indeed, sister) fucking her nasty old dad when Sam is like, RIGHT THERE. I think about Sam being a complete dick to Deanna about the short shorts and bikinis she wears in the summer, while ogling her himself in the same breath, I think about Deanna calling him out for staring while Sam puts on the puppy eyes because he can't *help* it, and "come on, Deanna, you wouldn't mind if *Dad* was the one staring." Because Deanna lets *Dad* look her up and down. She does all sorts of things with Dad that she won't do with Sam, even though "dad's such a dick to you, I'd never treat you like that, Dee" - and Deanna's throwing her eyes skyward because she hears this shit from Sam at least twice a week - and she feels a little bit sorry for him, because there's clearly no chance of his nerdy little ass getting laid if he's pining over his big sister, which is so weird, right, almost as weird as him being an 18-year-old virgin, but maybe she's a little flattered - and between that pity, flattery, and knowing it's gonna be a while until Dad gets home, maybe she'll let Sam sit a little closer than usual while they pick at dinner and watch crappy prime time TV; and maybe afterwards, she'll stretch her long bare legs out across the couch and rest her feet in his lap, without glancing his way, hide a smile when she hears him gulp; and maybe, just this once, just to satisfy the kid's fucking curiosity and so he'll hopefully feel like a man and move on to, like, girls who aren't *relatives*, she'll let Sammy get in between her legs, she'll let Sammy dry-hump the worn denim of those shorts he's always complaining about, she'll let him kiss sloppy over her neck and maybe her mouth and tell her "fuckin' love you, Dee" with this look of utter euphoria on his face as he comes within like 5 seconds; and yikes that's intense, makes Deanna pretty uncomfortable, but she'll still smile all proud and ruffle his hair, and she'll let Sam cuddle up to her afterwards despite a lot of complaining because Jesus fucking christ Sammy you're *such* a girl, who actually *snuggles* - because for all the things Dad does want to do with her, he never really seems to want to do much of that, lying close, being close - and Deanna has to admit that the squish of Sam pressed up so close to her on that tiny couch is kinda nice.