#samurai headcanons

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

Samurai can walk on water

He once led an army of cows across the ocean

samurai jesus returns............................................. woawie.

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

they called samurai the drift king back in college

bowling

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

Someone has bowled Samurai down the hallways. Multiple times. One time they hit the janitor even though he didn't deserve it

NOT MY HUSBAND </3

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

All the Samurais have part-time jobs as dodgeballs

-Fish Anon

samurai

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

Samurai and insomniac are both autistic and nonverbal, apparently this one hasn't been sent in before despite it being something everyone agrees on

AUTISM STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

Samurai doubles as a ball you can bounce at events!

(Infomercial time!) Have a bored crowd waiting for the main event to start? Use Samurai! Everyone has fun as long as Samurai is in the air! Just don't drop him, otherwise- STADIUM EXPLODES

-Fish Anon

i wonder how samurai always rolls and whatever...

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

Samurai has blood sugar regulation problems. Just like me! (Too much insulin in production moment)

-Fish Anon

everyone go see a real doctor not dr dipshit edega

[rhythm-doctor-headcanons]

! cw alcohol disc 🍀

regarding alcohol (Obviously .)

ian is like. the lightest of weights. a couple shots and hes OUTTTTT though i dont think he drinks tbh. followed by .. paige ..... i dont think she'd go out of her way to drink but if you invited her out and she had the time she'd be like "sure why not" edega mark and lucky probably have around the same tolerance. to which i imagine to be average (edega leaning lighter though. he probably prefers to be the designated driver. smth smth being drunk is embarrassing) samurai and miner can probably tank a whole bottle of vodka and not feel the buzz 💀 stevensons im not sure tbh . mrs stevenson seems like a wine drinker though. insom idk either...... im purposefully excluding evil politician idc im hitting him over the head with beer bottle shinji style

this is fucking wonderous and i never have ever considered this thank you......