It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help others.
My mental health is slowly climbing back to the ‘normal’ state and in general, my life is really gentle and calm. I’m happy about it.Im avoiding drama, and drama is avoiding me.
But I’m afraid my friends life’s are not really calm.
Im a person who would help others no matter if I have problems myself or not. I don’t care. If I can help, I will.
Yesterday my friend and I were walking to boarding (campus) and he was very down. I saw that and I tried to talk to him.
He said that he is fine, but of course, I didn’t believe it. I decided not to ask. If he doesn’t want to talk, I won’t force him to.
When we were just in front of the door, I started to say that I’m always here to talk to and he can trust me... I couldn’t finish because he,... let’s call him Jack. He started screaming and saying why he is not okay, and I felt he was really devastated. He was screaming, but not at me, at himself. I listened, calmly. When he finished he turned around and put his head down. I thought it would be right, so I just came up to him and hugged him. I swear, the way he hugged me back was so pure and emotional. He talked everything out and I was really happy that the did.
After a little time he pushed away and said that he is sorry.
He does not have to be. At all.
He started to say that he doesn’t matter and that I have my own problems and that he doesn’t deserve any of my time.
Then I just said: “You do matter. your problems do. You don’t have to be sorry, you’re allowed to have emotions and to express them when there is too much. It is okay. Really. If I can help you, I will. And by the way(!) you are wrong, I don’t have any problems, so I would be only glad to help you with yours☺︎”
I smiled. He smiled back. We hugged each other. He went home and I went to boarding.
That evening he texted me “Thank you.”
●If someone who is upset Is screaming -don’t scream back. They’re screaming not at you, they’re screaming at themselves. Listen to them. Let them spill everything out, and wait until they really done.
●If you can help someone- do it. Without a doubt. Even just listening to them is already a big big help! Or talk to them. It can literally save lives(!).
Tea Lover Girl is going to drink some tea