I cried all night and even after a few poor hours of sleep I'm still vibrating in the aftermath of emotions I felt through. I didn't want to read 'Something Blue, Borrowed' (what a brilliant, a genius title — I've been thinking about that a lot too) at first, because romantic sashisu is not really my cup of tea, but the devil has possessed me and after reading the summary + first few paragraphs it was already too late, I couldn't let it go. Perhaps it's your amazing writing that contains so much raw emotions, your deep understanding of characters, your magic way with words, or maybe all of this and something more, that I can't even describe... it hit me so hard. I think any person who has ever experienced unrequited love would agree that you depicted the pain so precisely, your readers literally can feel it in their chest.
As someone has already mentioned, one of the most thrilling part is the ambiguity of Satoru's feelings, and I loved it. Suguru can't be a reliable narrator either, can he? Cause he's so drenched in the constant need to hide his true emotions; in guilt, in shame — he might as well never believe his feelings could be reciprocated. 'Suguru can scarce believe it' — oh yeah. (By the way the repeating lines is something I really adore in your writing style, it's always so on point.) But maybe it's just the doomed satosugu shipper in me that wants to believe there IS some hope, cause I can't see Suguru falling apart like this, it's TORTURE.
Also... your impeccable smut. It feels so intimate without being described in a straightforward way. I love the vagueness of it, it leaves room to reader's imagination. But at the same time it's very sensual and emotional.
I wanted to ask since I haven't found any information about this: do you allow translations? I think this work will haunt me (in a good way) and it would be really an honour, a pleasure, a challenge to try to translate it to my native language. I used to publish translations on another website but recently moved to ao3 (my pseud is letheargic).
And again — thank you for such a beautiful and heart-wrenching peace, it will hold a special place in my heart, just as some other amazing works of yours.
Ohhh rennie ♥ I am hugging you so tightly! If it makes you feel better, I didn't get much sleep last night either. I also take psychic damage from my fics, albeit for slightly different reasons. Before I dig into anything else, I want to answer your question about translations so it doesn't get lost among all my yapping!
First of all, I'm genuinely honoured to hear that you want to put your precious time and effort into translating my work. It's such a compliment, so thank you very much. Secondly, you're right that I haven't published any information about translations or other transformative works of my fanfic. Someone recently asked for permission to translate Over the Threshold into Mandarin Chinese (and from what I can deduce from their lengthy translator's notes, they're doing a very thoughtful job of it) so perhaps it's time to add a statement to my AO3 profile. Thank you for making me aware of this matter and for reaching out first.
With that in mind, I'm very happy to tell you that I allow translations of my work by people who ask for permission (as you have here) with one condition, which is that the translation is only published to AO3 where it can be associated with the original work. Since you've shared your AO3 username, I don't think that will present an issue for you, so please feel free to translate Something Blue, Borrowed if you'd still like to! As I said, it's such an honour, so thank you again ♥
Onto the rest! More than anything else, I want to thank you for putting your faith in me with this story. I expressed this sentiment yesterday, but no one is obligated to make themselves uncomfortable for the sake of a story. Lots of people turn to fanfic to seek sweet escape, and this is probably particularly true for a series as dark as JJK. It's an entirely valid way to enjoy fanfic. However, I firmly believe that the most rewarding experiences take place outside our comfort zones. This goes for everything in life, but also for fanfic — for both readers and writers!
This was new territory for me too, and it's such a privilege when a reader trusts me enough to take my hand and let me bring them on an uncharted journey with me. More than anything, I'm delighted when it turns out to be worth it. Despite the pain, it sounds like it was worth it for you and I'm really, really glad.
As for Satoru, my favourite thing about this fic is how open to interpretation it is. I've already seen multiple conflicting readings put forward and it's fantastic to learn how differently people view the story and the characters depending on their perspectives. Obviously I have my own ideas, but the truth is, I tried really hard to keep Satoru's feelings a secret from even myself. Shōko's, too, to a lesser extent. I really love that you can read each of these two characters as either the most selfish or most selfless person alive in this fic, and neither reading is more valid than the other according to what's actually in the text. If you see hope in it, ren, who's to say you're wrong?
Lastly, I'm really happy to hear you share my soft spot for repetition and that you enjoyed the sex scene! I didn't want anything to distract from the intense emotional intimacy of the moment, but it's much more of a challenge than writing graphic smut, so I'm really happy you like how it turned out. I like how it turned out in the end, too.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this story and for taking the time to share all these wonderful words about it here! Gosh, you guys are spoiling me to death today ♥ It means the world!
