I'm scared,..
My dad’s health sucks. I feel like lately my life is becoming a series of shuttling him to his doctor appointments, making sure he takes his medicine, keeping track of his blood pressure/sugar levels, cooking incredibly healthy food, ect. I’ve been pretty terrified. Like i put on a strong face, but at the end of the day that fear of losing him takes over. It feels like a repeat of my senior year in highschool..ironically i’m a senior in college now and the same damn thing is happening. Lately i’ve been avoiding a lot of people. Trying to keep a low profile. Sticking only with my family, school, best friend (who lives in far away land) & boyfriend. I only talk with a few people about my dad because frankly, even though they can’t relate to my situation, its nice not having to hear the same damn “positive” advice. “At least you get to prepare” “maybe things will turn around” “you’re so strong, i admire you” ect. Its like i get what those other people are trying to say but being optimistic doesn’t help (especially when it comes from people i didn’t ask for help AND the ones who have been lucky enough to have an easy life). It raises too many false hopes. This is a situation where i have to think realistically & take everything on a day by day basis.
