#scp 297

[anonauthorsworkshop]

Mc chilling. The scp foundation getting suspicious that Mc have not drop anything yet. Dr. Clef walk in talk to Dr. Bright about the weirdest scp. Mc look up. The other doctor sigh and pull out paper and pencil, voice record and just wait.

You know- ( fill in the rest because I have no idea)

"No, no. You've got it all wrong. There's far weirder than that. Ever heard of the one called the Vorehole? Or 1369, maybe? 297? 835? No? Sit down, let me tell you a story-"

[scpspider]

don't look it up

[milkinawineglass]

I have several questions.

Most of them are “why is Steely Dan on the Khonjin House wiki”

[frecklenog]

scp 297 was made by jillian holtzmann

[scpitt]

SCPitt: SCP-297 "Steely Dan"

SCP wiki | Master SCPitt post

How weapon of pleasure, becomes weapon of complete destruction

297 is a transparent plastic vibrator with heavily altered internal structure as where standard 6 V power supply has been converted into what appears to be a micro nuclear reactor powered by a small quantity of plutonium.

The 297 have five-stage selector switch with first four off, low, medium, high working the same as one would expect from normal dildo, when the last switch labeled “suicide” where vibration frequency swiftly increases to upwards of 200 MHz which can basically cause the object to lose cohesion thought killing and literally turning any organic matter into puddle in short time, or possibly disintegrate a 1 meter cube of concrete into powder within ten seconds.

Pros:

Best weapon, and tool of mass destruction: You wouldn’t expect the entry on anomalous dildo to be one if not the best weapon but unironically it may be. I mean the think can turn any foe into puddle and any matter into dust. One may think that the fact that 297 is dildo can diminish some of those potential but surprisingly they actually help. First because 297 have 30 cm length and 5 cm in wide which is bigger than most typical knife, second because from it’s look it seem to be a normal dildo, it may actually underestimate it’s power.

Image scene: you go into dark alley and two muggers ambush you with knifes. “give me all your money!” they say You get to your bag, and take out… dildo, them point it at them. Muggers are… astonished, until they explode from laughter. “hahaha, what- hahaha- what are you gonna to do? Pleasure as to death? Hahaha” His guard is down, he lowered his knife and went up to you not expecting much of a threat. Then you strike, the dildo makes contact with mugger who look at you as if you are crazy until… he start to feel it, this whole body from skin to heart start to vibrate, all of his receptors activate creating some kind of uncomfortable, confusing, pain. He can’t react, he is only able to watch as his body slowly melts, slowly liqidfy and there… it’s dark. The red slush falls on the ground, the only evidence that this was once human is the clothes that possibly are the only thing that at least partly survived, as the weapon wasn’t directly used on them. Second henchman have his mouth wide open as his friend was just liquefied by fucking dildo. He wants to say something but your eyes lock, and he can see… you are predator here. Personally… I would drop the knife and run to another country

As for non-organic matter, it is good tool to destroy it, not sure how often you need to de-atomize something, but in case of being trapped somewhere or wanting to get somewhere that is separated by wall or some other obstacles, 297 works perfectly.

Battery source?: In not exactly sure how 297 works, but maybe it is possible to take out, or even use the 297 mini-nuclear-generator on something else? It could grand you unlimited energy, it could potentially make other tech work more effectively, but it could also destroy them? I mean opposite to vibrator casual tech isn’t seemingly invincible so… unless the generator itself gives other object anomalous invincibility but we have no way to prove it.

Normal procreation?: welllllllll… the only supernatural things about 297 is it’s nuclear battery, level 5, and durability (entry doesn’t says it, but the dildo is powered by nuclear reactor and movies 200 MHz which would destroy any non-super durable vibrator) so technically using first 4 switches can achieve anything that normal vibrator does, I don’t think it’s very wise, I mean it is still plutonium powered vibrator with power of destabilizing atoms, I wouldn’t put this anywhere near my body especially my private parts, but I guess if you are desperate and trust yourself enough to not accidentally switch to 5 level then I guess freedom to you.

Cons:

It’s awkward: I assume anyone who would get SCP or any supernatural object would try to keep close to themselves as often as they can, so they can use it in emergency, and not lose it, or worry about it getting stolen. Because of 297 look appearance it can be little hard, I mean I expect to hide it in personal bag or something, not just walk publicly with it in hands. But I wouldn’t want to be in shoes of anyone that would accidentally drop it, at important work meeting, family dinner, or date.

Battery limit?: It is said that 297 is nuclear powered by plutonium meaning there is a chance that you would have to recharge it, which can be hard as obtaining plutonium is illegal like… everywhere? But I’m not really sure if that’s that big of a issue as I did calculations (well mostly chat GBT did, I’m not that unemployed to study physics just to discover how long fictional dido will last) at it cam that assuming 297 uses 1 gram of plutonium and uses around 10 W like usual vibrator, to power 200 MHz, the energy would last for 256 years on constant use. Obviously I may be wrong. And entry also doesn’t specify a lot of values so it can be less but I assume you would probably not have to worry about that.

Others:

Radioactivity?: The entry doesn’t mention anything about it, but plutonium is highly radioactive. I assume that if 297 was radioactive, it would be mentioned, but we don’t know for sure so I will leave it in ‘others’ as I doubt this is con but I cannot confirm it

Conclusion

297 is unironically very good weapon or tool for general destruction. One may think that a entry about dildo written in era of fist SCP generation would be more like “haha, it’s a dildo, haha” but no it’s actually decent SKiP where the form of 297 adds general ridiculousness same as the way it was discovered, this is clearly not something written without maturity, I really like it, as a SCP and as a SCPitt, having potential of being one of best weapon SCP.