#scratched session

[sburbian-sage]

Hey again! Gm here with some good news, turns out im in a scratched session?

Never heard of those before this but i was just kinda exploring around before i felt a god awful pain and a fucking meteor came out of my eye (sorry if this is a bit out of tone for normal im rather drunk atm because who wee is this session a doozy)

Turns out the four player session that was before mine? (Still reading on how this all works)

All clowns

All 4

Hahahaha fuck me dude

Dont know whats up with the duo dungeon shit but one of thems a clown of mist and it opens with them there so like maybe its theirs?

In total i have a clown of space, time, mist, and heart

Im just utterly flabbergasted by this session man

Apparently my eye was replaced by one of them with some mini version of their session or some shit? Im just so at a loss

Denizen spawned in as soon as they arrived and it looks like things are mostly on track

God im gonna need another drink

Heart clown says my shiny is "all motherfuckin in a bad state in this bitch" which like who fuckjng knows dude im two minutes from laughing until i cry

Looks like they finished getting their planets set up and their apparently planning a concert on derse to and i quote "piss off those motherfuckin squid bitches by blasting some righteous music"

Jegus im gonna need to up that berry mead to berry moonshine at this rate

I am glad you are alive groovyMoonbird, because I am pretty convinced at this point that god wants you dead.

I was also going to reccomend you cut back on the drink, but if you somehow ended up with four Clowns, I can't ethically ask you to do that. I will merely float the suggestion that you ask them if the "four Clowns" thing was intentional on their part, and if so, make them swear never to do it again. But for now I think you've gotta ride the wave. "Ride the wave" in the sense that Clowns are a broken class, so they should be able to start putting in some serious work, and "ride the wave" as in play things by ear and get ready to reel things in, because Clowns are a broken class and you might need to stop them from breaking the entire session. If this is a Scratched Session, you don't really get to have a second chance.

Speaking of which, while learning about Scratched Sessions and the Infinity Mechanism is a worthwhile venture, I'm just going to tell you up-front that I'm pretty sure none of it will help you right now. Too many variables are off-kilter, you're in Clown Country right now.

[ask-the-page-of-space]

anon: may i please have an analysis for a session with a derse bard of space (they/them), a derse muse of doom (they/them), a prospit witch of mind (he/him), a prospit heir of time (he/him), a derse knight of rage (she/her) and a derse prince of life (they/them), that scratches into a session with a prospit prince of space (they/them or 💣/💥), a derse witch of doom (they/them or snake/serpent), a prospit knight of mind (he/hin), a derse heir of life (she/her) + a prospit prince of time (he/him) who are conjoined twins, a prospit muse of blood (she/her or rose/roses), and a prospit bard of void (he/him or thon/thons) after the death of the original sessions bard, muse, and witch? the extra guy in the scratched session is on purpose btw

Hoo boy, quite a roller coaster pair of clashing sessions we got here! Alright, let's break down what we have to work with...

First off, it's too bad you've lost three players already, though I could kind of see the whole mess as having possibly been any or all of their faults. The Bard of Space would be prone to letting their extremely important task fall apart, even unto the point of having to scratch the whole session before complete failure occurs, while the Muse of Doom would likely be gently encouraging others to follow the rules and accept that things are as they are, doing little to prevent the Doom of the session. The Witch of Mind, meanwhile, would be manipulating everyone else's plans, putting his own ideas in their heads, and eventually leading to the end of the session...though it may well also have been his idea to scratch in the first place.

In the new session, there's already plenty of trouble afoot. Having a Knight of Mind will mean that this new team will likely suffer from an overall lack of ideas on how to proceed, and with the other session's Witch unavailable to help, finding the right path forward may be a challenge. Their own Witch, the Witch of Doom, may be an important player, able to twist the laws of fate and cheat out success where it should be impossible, even opening the path for the other players to enter the new session. It's just as well that the Heir of Life and Prince of Time are connected, as one may be needed to ensure the continued survival of the other as the Prince tears across the timeline, wrecking shop. If they need their space, they'll always have their dream selves, which are on different planets.

The Muse of Blood will be an important figure, but as is almost always the case, it will be in a highly supportive role, influencing her fellow players to keep them working together as best she can. The player she's least likely to have any control over, however, is the Bard of Void, one of the most inscrutable and dangerous classpects out there. This Bard will likely go largely ignored, which is never a good thing, and will most likely cause devastation simply through failing to get involved in things that could've used his help - let us simply hope the destruction happens to the players' enemies! The Prince of Space will be a power player, but being so combat-ready might distract from their duties at the Forge.

Once in the new session, things might get better. The Heir of Time will be able to assist in the Prince of Time's duties, taking some of the pressure off, while the Knight of Rage might hopefully bring with her that standard drain in overall wild passion and keep the session's three Princes from becoming too much to handle! Speaking of Princes, the Prince of Life can certainly take on some of the combat duty, but keep them away from the Prince of Space if they don't find themselves getting along - an argument between them could escalate into another doomed session!

Whew, that was a wild one! Three Princes, three dead players from the get-go, conjoined twins, and a scratch? Far and away the most unique session I've had to analyze so far, but with enough teamwork, you just might make it. The Muse will be working overtime! Good luck!

[bloopblopblipbooblah-blog]

Once Upon A December

Yeah, ripped the title from the movie Anastasia. ANYWAY. some "sad!stuck", scratched session. DavexJohn, one-sided, if you squint.

It’s December, whoever fucking knows the date. He doesn’t know. He will never know, now. You bite your lip, staring out from your car. If only you could go over there and say good bye to him, too.

Don’t fucking cry.

Don’t fucking cry.

Gripping the steering wheel turns your knuckles white, but you don’t notice this little detail. Your eyes have caught on a man leading a little girl out. It’s his dad. Or his son, now. Who is that? She looks like him. You almost smile.

Don’t fucking cry.

How old is she? Probably as old as your bro is. You touch your glasses, almost hurtling them off your face. He had never known in this lifetime. You had found him, but it was no use. How could you explain it? How could you enter some man’s life and tell him you’re best friends. Fuck, he’d probably think you’re some stupid kid.  But that didn’t stop you from following him. Making sure he was okay.

Don’t fucking cry.

This hurts even more than when you found Bro dead. Bro’s here now, he’s her e and he’s safe and he’s young, and he’ll live for a long time. But John…He’s gone. He’s fucking gone. No more of those stupid smiles, or that fucking laugh, or anything that was him. And he didn’t even fucking remember you. He wouldn’t understand how much this hurts.

Don’t…

Fucking John. He doesn’t know the pain of losing a friend in this lifetime. Or maybe he does, because he had his Dad, which means he must have been with a woman. That hurts in a weird, unironic way. Sure, even in the first session, you knew better than to tell him your feelings. But fucking.... You look toward Dad and his little girl. The man is staring back.

…fucking….

Shit. Does he know who you are? He ushers his daughter into the car, not taking his eyes off you. And you can’t seem to look away. Does he…? Does he remember? It wouldn’t be too bad, finding someone who holds the same memories. No. Dad nods in your direction before getting in the car. You wait until they drive away, and then you get out.

…cry.

You walk quickly into the funeral home. This is where they had the viewing. This is where your best friend is. In that coffin. Sleeping, finally, in fucking peace. There he is. His fucking glasses clean as a shiny whistle, his tie nice and crisp. You feel your knees go weak.

Fuck. And then the tears come. You don’t want to say goodbye to your best friend.

[faerybeary]

guys! I just had a major homestuck revelation!!!

So we've all been guessing who UU is right? well, I just realized that we got it wrong.

Because I remembered, the deal that the Ancestors made! to forgo their doomed session and scratch it, before going into a new session, in which they became the Ancestors.

because their race was peaceful before! and going into the current session wiped their memories, except For the Sufferer. Because he began to remember, and that started his revolution!!! They weren't who we know them as! Alternia was a completely different place, which means it makes sense that UU's text is grey because the Hemospectrum didn't exist yet.

Also, it explains why their chat program begins with cheering, rather than pestering, bothering or trolling. It's a different program!!

Because we are meeting the guardians as kids, about to enter the doomed session, it would make sense that the Ancestors are also young, about to enter their own doomed session.

AM I MAKING SENSE HERE??!! 

UU is not a new troll. (I don't think, I mean obviously I don't know) She/he  could be any of them! Jane could be speaking to the future Condesce!!

Okay.

Okay.

breathe Clary.