#script review

[medleyofswag]

Rant time!

Probably huge unpopular opinion but I need to vent and it's what I use tumblr for, so-

I am genuinely sorry, but Detroit Become human did not live anywhere near up to my expectations.

I'll even say I am dissapointed.

If you love the game more than life itself, I urge you to NOT read this, becuase you will only get pissed at me, probably, which is dumb to put yourself through.

I do love a lot about it- but there is too much I don’t like about it, and I need to rant becuase I’m sad about it, AND NO- I have not played it with my own two hands, but I have watched and analyzed it several times and this is a review of the story/script, which is key for me in any game. (and this review explains why I’m starting to wonder if I even want the game.)

Here’s also my favorite youtube reviewer, Angry Joe, makes several great points about both gameplay and story- [x]

×SPOILERS AHOY×

I saw the trailer of Kara being put together when it first came out, years ago, and I just... expected something... mindblowing.

Let me also say- Me, personally- fucking love, I live, I thrive off of robots with personaleties. Ever since being a kid, I have such a humongous amount of weakness and love for tech that can talk and feel, just having a mind of it's own.

Examples of fave little roboes, for good messure;

The cartoon Transformers probably started it off

R2D2, C-3PO, BB8, K-2SO (Star Wars)

Iron giant (1999)

B.E.N (Treasure planet)

Jarvis (Iron man, Marvel)

Sonny (I. Robot)

Baymax (Big Hero 6)

Transendence (2014)

Wall-e, Eve (2008)

Atom (Real Steel, subtle personality)

Literally every little fucker from Tales from the Borderlands (Telltales)

Carl (Meet the Robinson)

Aaaaand those are just from the very top of my head as I'm writing this, there is such a huge amount of robotic and tech-characters and I adore them all.

My point is- put a robot with a mind and personality of its own in anything- and it'll become my favorite character automatically. (huehuehu yes pun)

And so, my expectations for this game might have been unrealisticly sky-high from the get-go, becuase of the pedestals I put robots on, I'm not sure exactly, but In any case-

The dialog is good enough, the graphics are obviously fucking insane- and the characters are a mix of amazing and just... plain confusing- but the story???

Well, I don't know, I was expecting...

Better imagienation, I guess. Not to mention some type of damn red thread?? (-partly a hint to the red ice, wtf was that)

The only thread is Jericho, which, originally starts as a part of Markus story- as some sort of fucking religious awakening for him?? 

In all honesty, the fastest way to make me lose interest in literally anything- shove some religion into it. And this is even worse becuase they’re suppose to be freaking robots. Being spiritual?  Sure! They seem to have souls, so that makes sense! But straight-up full-on religious all of a sudden???

The whole rA9 thing????? What??WhY

The fact that he became a goddamn massia of some kind, is just??? dumb??? He ressurected like some damn Jesus and saved his people like Mose, but the androids basically moved from being slaves of the humans to being slaves of Markus. There was no way for me to actually trust that every individual android just gained free-will becuase Markus layed a hand on them???

And there’s the damn Lucy-bot who’s a damn oracle of some kind????wAT

He could’ve had a similar story without having it being so...  religious.

And who the fuck is North and why does she have a romance option??? She’s so fucking violent- she responds so easily to hurt humans instead of being peaceful and why would Markus relate to that and like her?? Sure, you can choose for Markus to be violent as well but that doesn’t make sense becuase Carl taught him to fucking chill and treated him well-WHICH ALSO makes it odd that Markus, of all androids, should be the leader of an android-freedom revolution?? 

I cannot be the only one confused about it??

Yes sure- He learned about empathy, so even tho he had it good with his owner, he was quickly shoved in the garbage and then he felt that his fellow androids were treated like shit and they all needed to be free. STILL doesn’t explain how he got out of that garbage as if he knew exactly what to do. He should’ve stumbled around like bambi on ice, confused and upset.

SO, The whole revolution thing, It's simply a concept that doesn't hold up, not on this type of platform anyway, not in a three-parted story. The pacing goes to shit becuase of it and if I expected anything- I expected a lot of logic in this game.

I was expecting a lot more human-android interaction, but all I get is android vs humans.

The best part is definitely Connor's story. (I do love me that boidroid, very much) He has character development that makes sense- for the most part- and the whole concept of androids joining the force is logical, not exactly original, to have a type of super-human on the side of the police, but atleast it made sense. And also- in this part I did get consistent human-android interaction. 

The only one.

And yet- that’s mostly provided that you don't actually die as Connor, becuase he resets as a new copy, which is cool as a gameplay but it fucks up the realistic pacing if you want a friendship with Hank. (yes I'm bitter)

Connor is also the only one who acts like a robot-that is becoming human. This is still testing the limist, as he has potential to die in every damn sequence.

Markus is starting off pretty good, but it’s like he’s becoming more robotic instead? Is it suppose to be a war-thing? becuase it’s not believeble. 

And Kara, to me, just feels like a very awkward jittery human. I can’t really find her droid-yness.

Kara I feel like, she was all over the place, I can't even... 

I don't even know where to start, her story had pretty good pacing I guess... kind of... sort of... almost. I don't know, Luther was amazing, but he seemed so random, I don’t know why. BUT GUESS WHAT?? THE ONLY FEMALE LEAD WANT TO BE A MOTHER??? Come the fuck on, are you fucking kidding me- I assume they wanted to appeal “to the most human part of a woman” for a female android, but it’s just bad imagienation for me.

I mean, Alice is adoreble but, why would she not even know she’s an adroid and fucking TELL KARA???

And please, for the love of games- I can’t be the only one who immedietly thought about Madison from Heavy rain in the creepy phsyco’s house when Kara went to Zlatko?

Quantic dream really love to put women in a creepy-fucker situation, don’t they. (even starting too seem unoriginal, innit?)

-

Alright so, if you read this and hate me- well, I warned you. If you read this and see what I mean, thank you! I love not feeling alone!

Thank you for reading! 

I hope I didn’t steal too much if your time!

-

There are probably some points that I have missed but these are the most frequantly coming to mind.

DBH, My summery- 

Superb desgin

Insane and amazing multi-ending concept

Bad imagienation

I love Chloe, the main menu lady, so much.

[2nd-rate-film-school]

my dearest jules: i've been following you for not too long now, but i'm already in love with your blog and your advices. therefore, my question: can we send you our scripts and you help us? not that you do the work, but general help in formatting, maybe improving something, etc. would that work? 🙈

Hello Anon!

I am absolutely willing to help with your scripts! If you have a short film you would like me to read, I am happy to do so for free. (I also will occasionally beta short stories and fics.)

However, I am a freelance script reader, so if your script is a feature, I do charge. But for those contacting me via this blog, pricing is negotiable. (For events this blog puts on, such as the screenplay challenge, critiques will always be free and often faster!)

If you just have a few, more general questions that you want answered quicker than the ridiculously long time it takes for me to respond to asks, send me a message. I usually respond to those within a day or so.

If you would like to send me a script, message me or send me an email!

Best,

Jules

[starrlikesbooks]

Water By the Spoonful by Quiara Alegría Hudes

★ ★ ★ ★  (3.8/5)

This suspenseful and rich play focuses on the importance of connection, following a family and a group of former addicts. With a cast of 6 main characters all struggling to figure out identity and where they fit in, the plot unravels in a realistically bumpy fashion.

Yes, this is a script. As an actor and theatre major, reading scripts is pretty important. Also, I like scripts- they’re short, they can be really interesting, and they give me good material.

This is the second of a trilogy of sorts that I haven’t read. but fortunately it doesn’t seem like too much of a big deal. The story develops in real time and so do the characters. Elliot is the character that interests me most, however, and since the first play is about him I guess I should read it.

Elliot is interesting because he’s 1) a soldier with ptsd 2) a maladjusted adult grown from a mistreated child 3) very, very sad. Elliot’s mother gave him to his aunt when he was extremely young because she couldn’t raise him, and he struggles throughout the story between hating her and understanding her.

I really enjoy the way trust and just general connection is portrayed through the online relationships established in an online addiction forum. I appreciate that the characters all have such a deep interest in and support for each other, having never physically met. That’s very realistic, but not something seen often enough in books or plays.

The variety of characters/personalities was well done too. There’s the half angry half sad former soldier, the exhausted but supportive (brand new) music teacher, the as ready to burst as she is to discover herself college grad, and the protective and intensely regretful mother, as well as a handful of others. And, some of them are/were crack addicts.

Favorite part: Elliot finally dealing with the “ghost” Least favorite part: Elliot on the computer, just because it’s hard to read What I’d change: I’d remove Yaz’s ex from the story How long it took to read: a little over an hour

[pwawriting]

Hey! If you have scripts (or script ideas) Triforce (working ITV and ITV studios) want to hear from you. WriterSlam could give you the chance to get your idea turned into a drama on ITV - Pretty darn cool. More Information here.

If you want any help developing your script look no further than here.We have professional mentors ready to give advice and review your scripts (including  Donald H Hewitt who worked on Howl’s Moving Castle and BBC script editor David Roden) 

[tbbackus]

What the hell is playperday?

So, every Monday-Friday you'll see a post from me with a number and a title (eg 88 - Beautiful Child) And you might think to yourself, "What the Butt is this?' Well, playperday is a blog I started right after I left college to attempt to burn through this massive amount of Plays my aunt left me and to have a running record of plot synopses, character breakdowns, and personal directorial interest in a piece. I fell off the band wagon a number of times, but for the last three months or so I've been reviewing 5plays/week and it feels really good. I've even got a sponsorship from the Drama Bookshop because they're rad as hell.

So, if you're interested in contemporary plays and don't have the time to read a lot of plays all the time, check it out!

http://playperday.wordpress.com

[the-tesseract-wrinkling-time]

Alright, alright, alright.

Gather round folks. I bought the Galaxy Tab S to get the extra content and the very first thing I did was read the screenplay to THG.

Here is a list of things I learned were either supposed to be in the movie and were cut or just generally stood out to me as interesting:

There was even more Galeniss in the opening seen of the movie when they are hunting than what they put in the movie. It was very disturbing and completely out of canon.

Peeta had interesting dialogue from the get-go. He was sassy and charming in the script. WTF, Gary?

There was an amazing sequence with all the tributes running a gauntlet that was apparently shot but never made the cut. Some poor outer district girl got decked by one of the trainers and bled out her freaking mouth. Wicked.

That thing Peeta throws during training? (be still my heart) It's a freaking maze. And the whole set up in the arena for throwing it was the equivalent of a Highland Games hammer toss event. I choked.

Peeta actually grabs Kaniss's hand on the roof top. It wasn't just eye humping.

The district 8 kid that attacked Katniss at the Cornucopia actually sputtered blood as he died.

Katniss rips up Peeta's pants to get at his wound in the script. And it mentions that the wound was in an area of his leg that made the act intimate. Why was this cut?

There was  another kiss that was omitted. In the cave, when they wake after applying the medicine to each other... the script mentions a kiss, just for them, more intense than the first. Kill me.

The mutts were supposed to look half man and half dog. The CGI team failed. Also, they do tear a gash in Peeta's ankle.

It is mentioned that it took a long time for Cato to die. And the dogs were gnawing at a limb twenty feet from him.

The "Now that you have me,what are you going to do with me?" dialogue was scripted, but never used. Why?

On the train, when Peeta says, "I don't want to forget," Katniss was scripted to reply, "Neither do I," with a watery smile. Ugh!

[londonspirit]

The Imitation Game

It is not often that a script penetrates my critic’s veil. Usually, I am able to hide a great deal of my feelings about Important Things behind this veil so that I may judge a script based on the m...