#seaofolived

[seaofolives]

monthly seaofolives original review june edition: runaway groom for final fantasy xv

a bit late again!!! bc the fic I was working on before this sort of uhhhhh ran away from me lmao (badum-tish etc) but uh even tho I wrote this for gladnis spring week 2021 and for gladnis day, while I was thinking about what to read this month of weddings and pride and stuff, I figured what better than a gay wedding fic!!!

which turned out to be a lot older than I remember lmfao like I only remember writing it anymore and being particularly chuffed about it in a reversal of roles kinda way?? like instead of a bride running away, it's a groom, and of all the grooms to run away, it's ignis who's always been good at everything he does

and like obviously the thing I remember the most about this fic are gladio and ignis, like how much they love each other, their tearful reunion, and then the last scene. but the thing that really delighted me today, the thing that I completely forgot about, tho now I remember how excited I was when I was writing him, was noctis omg 👀 particularly older noctis who's still bumbling about but not as much as his younger self but like, in that way where an adult who doesn't feel like an adult is trying to act like the adult in the room which I think is extra funny for a guy who spent ten years of his life asleep 😂

and I remember the thing that really excited me with this noct was that this was the first time I wrote him as an out aro and like, especially in the fandom that launched the promptis ship, that felt to me as being sort of new and scandalous?? to write about and publish smth that was largely still just my heart canon and like everyone keeps saying write for yourself, your organ of choice, etc and honestly? time-honored advice

like I wrote this to be funny, to sort of pick fun on noct, and all the boys really, and like, bc I was coming from a place I really understood, everything sort of just melded together and like I'd say the effect is that it's endearing?? like it's all just really nice and honest and really light in the feeling you know, as you're reading it

and I also like that I just got away with a lot of things here that are important to me 😂 there's gladnis, there's bromptis and ugh, I just love love love noct and ignis being brothers and I love that I got the chance to sort of reverse their roles here, too, where it's the younger brother trying to be the bigger brother to his big brother. and then the ending was definitely one of the things I looked forward to while I was writing this thing—like I've always had a soft spot for impromptu things where, instead of smth grand that was overly prepared, they got smth very ordinary and normal instead but you know, it worked out, they made it work out, and it was still very much the spring wedding everyone wanted 😂 so like... actually i do think this is one of the fics i enjoyed only partly bc it was gladnis but largely also bc it was just a lot of things that mattered to me—like aromanticism, friendship, brotherhood, undoing expectations and stuff—and I made it happen, I paved the way for it bc I have the power to do it and now it's like a box of random thingamabobs I can't sort but can't throw away either 🥹

[seaofolives]

monthly seaofolives original review february edition: kahit konting pagtingin for mobile suit gundam: the witch from mercury

Late one afternoon, like a few days before the Lunar New Year, I heard the drum beats of a distant lion dance and fondly remembered about my au and headcanon of the jeturk bros being lion dancers. for a vision that captured me for like months, I think I felt a bit bad that I could only do one thing for it. but then I realized: just bc I'd already written it so like... I'd already used that card or engaged with it, doesn't mean I can't read the fic I wrote for it—a fic that I wrote for myself!

the realization that I can read it for my monthly fic review came a bit later XD but so this is why we're here now! 🙌🏼

tho this is kind of late again bc I was v busy finishing a promised fic but yesterday, I decided that I had to finish that fic already so I could rest and read this fic today and ahhhhh it was such a good idea 😭 this kind of like became my reward for working hard and I was really looking forward to it the whole day

and I was so shocked that it was so fun??? I remember having the time of my life while I was writing this, like getting giddy for every headcanon that I put into words, sort of like making them official, into existence. but reading it was such a different experience and I was smiling the whole way through! it's the very definition of self-indulgence, but it's so self-indulgent that it feels like the word "self-indulgent" isn't even enough for it anymore??? and everything made sense to me, I was just nodding my head 100% of the time 😂 it felt very good to do that

I loved my suletta omg, she's so silly and chaotic and I swear, Filipino humor is such a good look on her. it's self-deprecating, it's funny and light, and the opportunity to make a social commentary is always present 😂 which is perfect for suletta here bc she came from the province and it was just so fun reading all her insights about city living and the wealthy class which like I'm preaching to the choir but that doesn't make me enjoy it any less you know 😂😂😂

and omg was such a bi that was such a fun decision by me ahahahaha 😂 it was so fun seeing her crush on both miorine and guel at the same time and I loved that I actually found the room to incorporate some common Filipino movie and drama tropes bc it's such a part of a modern Filipino's daily life you know??? also I knew I made miorine conyo (or: a Filipino who speaks and knows more English than she does Filipino) but omg, I didn't realize I made her so conyo and omg i love it, I love imagining her voice as she talked. also the part where I projected the stereotypes of wealthy Chinese and mestizo families on guel and shaddiq... I really felt like a genius there 😂😂😂

but also—so bc of my heresy fic which took me like MONTHS just to finish in both Filipino and english language, I have to admit that I burned myself out of writing in Filipino for a while. but reading this fic reignited my love for it? which made me realize that, while I will always call Filipino a romantic language, bc there are ways in which we speak of love and devotion that I haven't seen the English language compare to yet, the thing that I love about writing in Filipino is our colloquialism and wit, and how we just transform any word borrowed from like English into a word that we own. like even English words can take on a different meaning that is deeply connected to our daily lives, but probably it's bc we were colonized by the Americans in the past. but also like, even english words aren't safe from our word plays, or the new and double meanings we give them

this wasn't smth I got to experience much in the heresy fic but this fic, it's so so rich with it and it's a lot of what I love about the Filipino language 🥰🥰🥰 and I feel like bc of this, I think I can write in Filipino again bc it was literally rediscovering smth that I loved 🥰

which actually, works for the language, the characters, and this au that I wrote on the fly and just kept expanding and expanding on itself you know? if I ever get new ideas for g witch fics again, I definitely have to revisit this au too

[seaofolives]

monthly seaofolives original review may edition: shoosh and kid for final fantasy xv

this took a bit, not so much bc of my ficcy deadlines (although my work definitely wasn't helping lmao) but also I didn't really know what I wanted to read??? like there were no signs or I didn't feel like I was missing smth or what. but one morning, while I was commuting to work, I noticed the fire tree of a building near my office was practically bursting with red which tends to happen when the dry season is about to come to an end and it has started raining quite a few times everyday lately. and that reminded me of this fic I wrote that was largely inspired by our fire trees and I realized, that was it! that was the fic I was gonna read

I actually remember this being like a quiet fic? like after I shared it, it just sat there without drawing attention to itself that I was actually a bit shocked to see its metrics when I did go to look for it. and this was actually not like, the usual kind of fic I was inspired to write. tho if there had to be an inspiration, I'd say it was an old artwork gin made a long time ago about faeries and for some reason, the fae au came up and for some reason, it was impressed upon me—I don't know how—that everyone had to have a fae au, like it was a milestone of sorts. but I didn't, which made me decide that it was smth I had to change

but the funny thing is that when I started with the opening of the fic, I have to admit, I was astounded by the amount of thought I put into world-building, and like, that was how quiet this fic was, I don't even remember half of it anymore 😂😂😂 so this was a very pleasant surprise from past!me

and as I go along the fic... I'll admit, I don't actually recognize the writing style and the words. I'm not sure how I can explain it but related to what I said beforehand about the fae au, the fic didn't actually feel as natural to me as like... most fics I remember and I think what I said about the fae au is the primary cause of that

and then, as I read on, I remembered smth—I'm pretty sure this was one of the first fics I wrote when I decided to switch tenses from past to present 😳 like I remember the decision came about bc I was feeling burnt out to the point that my brain could barely even handle the idea that I have to put a word down to the blank file, like it wasn't enough that I couldn't come up with a single word. I couldn't even fathom the idea of typing it at all! and then smth made me decide to switch to present tense instead

and that was why this fic reads so foreign to me bc this was my recovery fic. one of, etc, but this was one of those fics where i was learning to write again and picking up new rules to break and that's why it feels so awkward. like a lot of the phrasings, dramatics and pacing in it are stuff I don't consider to be up to par with my tastes, anymore, but they were a part of my healing!

not only that, this is a story I would never have conjured had at least one element in its conception—like the fae au, the tense-switching—been different. and because of that, this fic feels so precious to me bc it's the only souvenir I have of that fleeting version of myself anymore! the one who's me, but not me, and is just getting to be me, if that makes sense

for one, it's too sweet. for my standards, it's too sweet 😂 this feels like one of those 12 episode bl romance animes I would give up on halfway through but at the same time, I'm genuinely so surprised and delighted that the kind of storyteller that I am could actually put together something like it, something so different from my usual affair

also this was my first bout into the hanahaki trope! and I remember being so proud of the kind of twist I gave it and honestly if I hadn't explored hanahaki in this way, I don't think I'd have had the inclination to explore the trope the way I have several times after my humble beginnings

so like this fic was a lot of firsts for me. and like, even before, I've always felt that it wasn't one of my best but I think like... obviously not every fic we make whatever our reasons may be is bound to be the best of the best, but the thing is that, this fic is smth I feel like it wasn't made for smth like that. rather it was made to encapsulate a moment, a lesson, and to preserve them as a part of my journey as a storyteller, like a time capsule of sorts. which, if you think about it, that makes it fit nicely into this monthly activity where the point is that I look fondly upon my old fics and reflect on the good points of them, never mind how much I've learned, gained and changed since 🥰🥰🥰

[seaofolives]

monthly seaofolives original review march edition: same-day delivery for final fantasy xv

happiness will come to you!!! when you least expect it!!! sometime late march!!!!! tho it is now very very late into march but between lemony shenanigans and ao no miburo's finale, I was also very very busy this march 😂😂😂 but!! i can finally make time for this!!! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

tho actually when I was reading this, it didn't feel so distant??? like it had that sense of familiarity like I'd just written this a few months back but still after spending months locked into like a very specific kind of fic, this was such a refreshing thing to read

I really really love gladio's sarcasm here 🥹🥹🥹 tho I mean it's always great to pick fun on him and I always always have fun doing that 😂😂😂 but to take it a step further and make him hopeless, luckless and penniless here, i think the humor just wrote itself and really defined the sort of conflict? for this fic

and like yeah that part gives it a bit of sharpness and makes it funny, but as a whole the fic is still light?? I love how I infused so much of spring in it without making it so overbearing that like hey!!! this is a spring fic!!!! but it's also just... a kind of normal day you know and I think the way I wrote this story also lent to that. like I was not serious at all, I did not take any part of it seriously, like i used phrases like lived-in vibe, pointing vaguely to the direction of outside-his-apartment, wouldn’t be very independent-bachelor of him like literally just words and any kind of words just to get the thought across period 😂

also I really love this line I used:

He’s eying Gladioʼs half-eaten cup noodles, a criminal standing in defiance to Ignis’ inquiry.

but I think, a lot of what I love about this fic is that there's so much of myself in it? like the dry sense of humor, the daily city life and domestic kinda vibes, the word play, and the food!!!! I will always want to write food into my stories 😂😂😂 and also the title ahahaha i hate titles but this one came with a flash of inspiration and it's so on point and creative but also that quiet sort of atmosphere, slice of life kinda thing like it goes without saying that I wrote this for myself but this isn't just that, it's also my personality, brand and ideal you know?

and I think there's smth about that that offers me relief. like knowing I've written a story like this, after months of being locked into a kind of story that's not natural to me, its sort of a great reminder of who watashi really wa as a storyteller 😂 and you know... i really like it, it's fun to write this way and read stories like this 🥰🥰🥰 but at the same time this was such a creative prompt for someone like me, it's not my style to use memes as prompts but that gave me an avenue to put my spin/my brand on it 😂😂😂 and now I think of this fic really fondly 💖💖💖

[seaofolives]

monthly seaofolives original review january edition: trick of the light for final fantasy xv

HELLO THIS IS SUPER IMPROMPTU literally just maybe two or three hours ago I decided that every month I will pick up an old work and review it from like the present perspective and I'm only allowed to talk positively about my own works, my growth and my past and basically the point is to annoy everyone into doing it for themselves and just you know forcing everyone to feel good about themselves and the things they've made with their own hands (obligatory fuck ai I hope it dies yesterday). it doesn't matter how old tho I'd like to try and make it as old as possible but yes so that's the gist.

and bc i just decided this now when we're a smattering of hours away from february I had to limit the word count I was gonna start with 😂 so for this month, it's a gladnis flash fic called trick of the light, which is a part of the gladnis fanworks bingo that I did during like my first year in the xvdom. and I chose it, one, bc of the word count (only 600+ words!) and two, bc frankly, I don't remember a single thing about this 😂😂😂

it's funny too bc I had to sort of read it from the beginning (when I was already past three paragraphs) like three times bc I didn't even bother reading my own tags (skill issue) so like, my mind was expecting roadtrip era but this was apparently set on their last night before they recaptured insomnia 🤣 very short and sweet, but rich with bittersweet pulps and like I remember I used to be all over that (I still love bittersweet stuff, I just don't have as much ideas for it anymore as I used to) so it was nice to revisit the flavor of bittersweet that became my life before! sort of like... relearning how to do it.

but like, so as I still usually do, this thing is also filled with metaphors (bc im esl who doesn't know the traditional rules of using metaphors so I'll just do it in a way that works for me lmao). but there was one phrase I used that goes "like a piece of iron attracted to his sorrow" and that kinda made me go ooooh that's nice I should take that 😂😂😂 the whole sentence goes

“Looksit,” Gladio agreed, moving one step closer to his friendʼs back, like a piece of iron attracted to his sorrow.

which was the start of me sort of turning the dial from smth quiet to smth sadder I guess and I did like the way I did it slowly but also just kept piling all these sad phrases to make the fic heavier even in its short length. by the end of it, there's this part that goes

He squeezed the grieving Ignis tighter, closer than he ever had in that dark decade. Maybe this was a gift from the gods, too. But how soon…? How soon until he would have to let him go?

which—so in this fic, gladio and ignis are kind of like exes after an amicable breakup bc of the difficulties of the long night and all but I did enjoy the fact that they were just talking about letting noct go again so soon after they reunited but now, that same phrase is being used on ignis and the circumstances of that are way different but the feeling and the longing is still the same so that sort of double meaning was kinda juicy to me lmao, especially since this is the last sentence

it was nice to know too that even back then I had no idea what this fic really was so I guess I'm staying on brand 😂 but man, just 661 words and already posted. these days, I have to admit that if a short fic is between 500 to 999 words and it's not like... at a number divisible by 5? I would really push it to at least 1k and like I think if I rewrote this fic now, it would naturally fall into 1k words bc I'd take the time to establish the canon point and stuff so that no one would have to go back and forth and realize what the timing of the fic was. but mostly, I was just very un-self-conscious about these trivial details like word counts and stuff, like I would just post them nbd and then call it a day. and I kinda envy that from my past self now so I think I'm gonna try and relearn that part of me again

[seaofolives]

monthly seaofolives original review april edition: belong/bones for rogue one

lmao I actually wasn't sure if this was the kind of fic I wanted to read, tho I always knew that one of these days, I was gonna take a peek back into my roots, the movie that started it all and got me back to fan-fiction. but nearly 10 years later (wow what is time) this fic still has a special place in my heart bc it was actually my first exchange fic ever!! like I think I only saw other fandoms or friends doing fic exchanges so when the opportunity came up to join one, I was all in. and also, this exchange fic was very well-received by the giftee and it was just one of my proudest, cushiest moments as a writer

but even with all of that, I still wasn't feeling all that set with reviewing this fic bc like it has been almost ten years since the last time I saw rogue one in its entirety or at all, so you know, I have lost my grasp on a lot of details that used to be my life 😂 and also I'm just not a fan of disney anymore after all the shit they pulled and are continuing to pull

regardless tho, I figured why the hell not and before I knew it, I was done reading??? like a few words into the opening scene and I just felt incredibly settled and I hate that this is like a valid compliment but it really does have that feeling of like being written by someone else 😂 which I reckon is also bc it's been years since I wrote that fic so like my voice then is super super different to my voice now??? i wouldn't necessarily say better, like i was still super impressed by the stuff i read lmao, but there are some parts of it that I would definitely write differently now

but I fing love the words I used holy shit. it had a lot of like metaphor??? or whatever??? that blew me away lmao in a very "why don't I use these phrases anymore????" but I feel like this is the kind of thought I'll always have as I reread my old fics bc like, that's just how writing is, you know??? so much of writing is fickle and temperamental and that we get to preserve these fleeting moments at all for years to come, for us to look back to now and again, I think is such a gift so many of us take for granted

I fing love the worldbuilding I did at the start, where I infused some traditional Chinese elements into it and likely some other stuff I read in books and saw in movies. I love that it gave me a solid jumping point of sorts from one scene to the next and then the next. and also the language baze and chirrut used?? the way the spoke, it was just so thematic and helped me really sink into the story

also the fact that not remembering all the proprietary terms ever anymore didn't get in the way of my reading 😂 like I don't remember the difference anymore between jedha and nijedha, what an aqualish is or like... proletan proletariat whatever but, you know, if you just think like "this is probably some alien race or other" you'll actually get by just fine bc the way the story beats sweep you along its waves makes the nitty gritty details irrelevant

and like I remember while I was doing my will-do's and won't-do's for this exchange fic, like hours or a day after submitting my application I was like, "gasp I forgot to say I can't do angst. oh well, there's probably a low chance that someone will request it" and then my giftee did so I was like "ohhhh fuck what do I do" so I infused it with as much angst as I could manage you know, as you would. but it's actually not as angsty as I remember??? which is to say like... it's not one layer of angst after another, all the angst is actually properly-placed and -paced and just... it all made sense you know??? it wasn't too heavy but it was still a bit heavy!! 😂😂😂

if anything reading this fic actually gave me a shot of inspiration/encouragement again. sort of like "oh shit so I could write things like this, after all!" and like... it's not even a matter of feeling pressured to do smth like that now again bc as we all know, writing is not like that. writing is an art form that can't be pinned down to one repeatable formula like every scene, every writing day will have a different context or luck or whatever from the last! so it's just sort of exciting in a way to think like "I wonder when I'll write this way again and what kind of fic it'll be" 😂🤭