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Well here’s a nice X-Men centric Secret Wars cover. Hey why are the X-Men always fighting Spider-Man? What’s their beef? And how come Spider-Man always wins? Eventually, Wolverine really beats the piss out of him in that Spider-Man vs Wolverine event comic, so how the heck can they justify the wall crawler taking them all on and making Colossus smell his foot? I guess I will find out. (Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #3 - Jul 1984)
In a strange twist of fate, the Thing inexplicably reverts back to Ben Grimm. Secret Wars contains a few of these crucial bits of character development, and if you didn’t know the crossover was happening while you were reading the main Marvel comics you would be pretty confused. I had a few issues of the Thing’s solo series when I was a kid, which spun off from the end of Secret Wars when all the heroes get transported back to Earth but Ben gets trapped on Battleworld, and I was wondering how he was magically transforming back to his human form all of a sudden. Well here ya go. No explanation. (Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #2 – Jun 1984)
Secret Wars is pretty much like a reality TV show. Throw a bunch of people together who don’t get along, orchestrate a big conflict, and let the shenanigans ensue. And honestly, despite a really exciting first issue, this second issue is about as interesting as a reality TV show. I mean yeah, this would be super fun to get transported to an alien world with a bunch of other wacky superheroes, and to find a big alien mansion to live in with everybody like in an episode of Big Brother, but this does not make for an engaging piece of comic book literature. I hope this isn’t indicative of what the rest of the series is going to be like. I still have 10 more god damn issues to get through. Where’d Galactus go!? (Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #2 – Jun 1984)
Well that was anti-climactic. After a pretty mediocre fight scene the heroes mop the floor with the villains, taking them all prisoner except for Dr. Octopus, Absorbing Man, Wrecker, and Molecule Man. Come on you rubes, you were going against a team of heroes that included Thor, the Hulk, and a whole team of X-Men. What did you think was going to happen? (Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #2 – Jun 1984)
