Last year I made a resolution to take a selfie every day of 2023, partially inspired by a now-forgotten piece of Alice Wong’s memoir. I wanted to record all my days, to honor my tired, chronically ill self equally alongside the self I usually recorded in selfies. I wanted to remember that I had a body on bad days too.
I didn’t want to force things. A lot of the selfies show me in my tired, chronically ill glory. I smiled faintly in some and not at all in others. But smiling was one of the nicest things about it. Smiling at an image of myself on bad days was a little transformative. Realizing either that I didn’t look all that bad, or that I liked the photo even though I looked tired af. Recording my face and body whether or not I liked them that day helped me grow a little more self-accepting. A little more self-loving.
It was also just…fun. I took pictures in mirrors, photographed my shadow, took a pic of my shoes struggling on a slippery icy sidewalk. I made funny faces, took a “selfie” of my character in Pokémon, took a picture hooked up to nitrous at the dentist. Some days, I deflected the focus to something that make me happy, like my earrings, or sweet peas, or a giant baguette, or pretty flowers, or a big ol’ cup of coffee. Some days I focused on the background of where I was. In cases where I forgot, I made myself include a 2nd selfie another day, or forced myself to use a silly face selfie from snapchat.
In a lot of ways, it was like a conversation with my future self. Recording where I was, where I’d been, how I felt, for the self who would look back on December 31. And that was actually really nice. I’m glad I did this. 🩵
