Cutting people out of your life for your mental health and well being is something I do wholeheartedly support and even quite preach in a lot of my writing. But what I don't stand by or like is this culture of not giving people a second chance. I know if you're anything like - me a little too hurt but yet way too trusting - it's easy for your second chances to turn into third and then 16th but I'd rather still do that then discard people the moment they say or do one thing that feels off to me. We are such complex beings with emotions that are honestly very erratic and unexplainable but yet we want to love and be loved. And making mistakes and not always understanding the other person is just a part of it. You are a person and not a bad fruit that I take a bite of and trash because you're more sour than sweet. People are not to be tossed away like that. I will tell you how you made me feel and ask you your reasons for doing so and put in the time and effort and sincerity to work out a system so we don't hurt each other in the future for the same thing. It is time consuming and emotionally draining, I understand. But you know it's doable when you're selective in who you choose to call yours. If you want to have a hundred friends then yes you're going to treat them as disposable the moment one does something to piss you off. Because you still have 99 others. The same is with dating. Yes we can blame social media and instant gratification and modern loneliness but I still can't stomach any reason for treating a person like anything but a whole human being with a life and problems and childhood memories and trauma and joys and scars and fears and dreams. I will not do that. I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I will give you that 16th chance. I will not, because of my baggage and past hurt, assume that everyone around me inherently sucks and has the worst interests at heart for me. I will not, because of some dicks I've come across, treat everyone around me as suspects for repeating the same behaviour. I will listen and I will try to understand. If I see you are not willing to do the same or you are taking advantage of that, you'll not get the 17th chance. But until then, I'll not typecast you as evil. As another edition of an ass hole I had come across in the past. You are you. And I'll give you time and space to reveal to me who that is. Only then will I decide if I want you in my life for the long haul or if you're someone I'll forget the name of years from now. But no, I will not subject you to exile from my universe at the first instance of something messy or broken or confusing or selfish. Call me naive but I need to treat people like people. Other wise how am I a person?
