#shattered thoughts

[nvcmc]

Hindi ko na maalala paano humantong sa salitang bakit,
O kung ilang beses ko na bang ipinaulit-ulit
Yung huling salita na pinilit mong isinambit 
Na tagos hanggang buto ang sakit. Ilang beses kong inisip, 
Yung mga nabasa sa huling inilakip
Kung saan aking puso'y patuloy na idinarakip 
Ngunit kamangmangan lamang sa halip. Isiniksik ko pa din sa puso ko sa tulong ng kape 
At ipinaglalaban ko pa rin gabi- gabi
Para lang hindi ko makalimutan iyong huling sinabi
Kahit na ngayon sa aki'y wala ka nang pake. Ito ba talaga, Mahal ay wala nang wakas, 
Dahil wala na akong lakas
Na parang hindi aabutan ng bukas,
dahil lang ayaw mong mag-iwan ng bakas. Paano pa nga ba mabuhay, 
Sapagkat ako ay iyo nang inutay-utay, 
Kung ngayon pala'y wala nang kulay 
Teka, ganun na lang ba talaga ang lagay? —————————————— March 6, 2017

[uncrownedwords]

Everyone knows of pain but no one knows misery like your bestfriend. They share with you an unbreakable secert a bound between two story tellers who know untold tales the world will never fathom. Together they know every secert, every broken heart, every unexplained idea and random spure of the moment thought that many wouldn't understand. The bound between best friends is overly infinite. Only they seem not to try to avoid the past with all the flaws you created of yourself inside your own mind of wanting to be isolated and alone. They seem to get the words you never said and the sounds you make instead of explaining your in need. Bestfriends have a bound like you and me.

The words typed, untyped and typed again are hard to really comperhend, but I came to save lost Alice to far from wonderland. The sky is blurry and the king went away. The queen has caused mischief insnaring this pain. All the white rabbits and talking plants can't fix the lose of a prince, but maybe I can. So the king disappeared and the queen is a wreck but wonderland is far from a mess. Its got potential if you clip up the thrones. The garden is beautiful dispite of these storms. You find trusting the changes, hard and fearing the thoughts kept up at night . Inspite of all this you still try to fight. Fight past the cards that are bent and the Croquet left unplayed. You stand up for the twins and the oysters and play with the Hatter on your better of days. The hare and the mouse are as triblent in belief in fighting a cause,just like me. Of the thoughts that make us feel lost. So finding Alice is my concern in wonderland eat me and drink this are just words on a paper. The action that backs them is not in your favor. So strugglings hard and this tale has dragged on..... so I'll be here to help figure out how we can impossibly move on.

8|27|2019

[nvcmc]

Party

one twisted aftenoon, I got lost to two sounds standing between two epochs colliding while, I confuse with my identity drown with my thoughts shatter with my life. I badly need some saving.

But, no one seems to notice

they were all screaming, dancing, thumping as if everything is normal laughing, and talking their self comfortable to the rhythm I wish I am too

But, I am left gawking.

-------------------------------------------------

February 12, 2017

[ci5mates]

Choices were made...

I got to thinking on my long daily commute about the choices made in the writer's room;

Could you imagine anyone, other than Buck, being the person watching Eddie get shot in slow motion? *with bonus spray of blood* Who else could have pulled Eddie to safety so damn dramatically. The way this scene was framed is the ultimate love scene (imo)

Hen could have easily been the one reassuring Buck when he was trapped under the ladder truck but no, even though she was administering medical treatment, it was Eddie with his hand in Buck's. The man had just one job on that scene and it had nothing to do with his training or skills and everything to do with love.

No-one on the team would have clawed at the ground which had swallowed Eddie like Buck. As upset as the others were, none of them would have lost it quite like that. The man was never going to be on a rostered day off or in the toilet when that shit went down because it was important to tell that specific story. The story of Buck's love for Eddie.

Could you see Chris calling anyone other than Buck to kick in Eddie's bedroom door?

It was a no brainer that Eddie was going to recklessly climb the ladder, screaming Buck's name after the lightening strike. And why was it Eddie's hands who brought Buck back to life? I will tell you why, because it is the perfect love story. There was plenty of opportunity for Chim to be the hero but it wasn't what the writers wanted and so a choice was made.

It's a pattern, it's deliberate.

My weary brain is literally toast tonight. 🍞

Feel free to add more examples :) 🥰

[stranded-in-orbit]

Another year at college, another year as an outcast in a sea of people.

[shatteredthoughtsxx-blog]

Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil hinayaan ko na naman na magkausap tayo. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil kahit na busy ako inuuna pa rin kita. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil isang chat mo lang babalik agad ako sayo. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil nagpapakatanga na naman ako sayo. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil kahit alam kong option mo lang ako pinipili ko pa rin na makausap ka. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil sa kabila ng lahat ng sakit na binigay mo saakin hindi man lang ako makaramdam ng inis sayo. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil hinahayaan kong kwentuhan mo ako ng mga bagay tungkol sa kanya. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil pinagmmukha ka nyang tanga habang ako eto nagpapakatanga sayo. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil sabi ko hindi na kita kakausapin pa pero di ko magawang lumayo sayo. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil sa mga araw na hindi kita pinapansin ay mas lalo lang kitang namimiss. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil akala ko okay na ako pero mali...akala ko lang pala yun. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil hindi ko alam kung kelan ako mapapagod, magsasawa at bibitaw. At higit sa lahat.. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, dahil ang alam ko nakamove on na ako...pero hindi pa pala.

[nvcmc]

I can feel the feeling of every sound of every sickening pain each words stand for. I wish I make it disappear but I know I cannot. For the sorrow you feel every beat and every tinge are now created not by me who ignited the negatives but yourself. So, go and free yourself explore reality, every minuscule of every ill detail until you understand.

Geneive M.

[brokeneisenglas]

“I have been told my whole life that I would amount to something... I am nothing. I am surrounded by so many who can say they’ve been and done, and all I can respond with:              I work.”