The story that inspired my complete mindset shift : "The door analogy"
(Please read it to the end, I promise you it's not a vent blog, but merely a realization that quite honestly rattled me) :
I just saw a grey cat waiting and yearning for his Mrs outside of her balcony, while she, the neighbor's beautiful white cat, kept watching him with a sad almost tearful gaze, unable to get through the huge bars of that balcony, because no matter how hard she has tried to sneak through the tiny holes of the metallic fence, she's stuck, exhausted yet resilient, and he's rooting for her on the other side, she can feel it, she can feel him, even when she cannot reach him...yet.
Yes, I referred to them as he/she and not IT.
Because they are the embodiment of my significant other and I, and those bars are what's keeping us apart...(bear with me istg I'm js being dramatic here) two different realities, two tired yet restless souls, and one invisible string tying it all together.
He's on the other side, in a different reality than mine, rooting for me in silence, in dreams, in everything but his presence...yet.
Skip here if you don't like dramatics :
I kept glaring at the two for a while, I couldn't tear my eyes off of them, I just wanted to find out how would they solve this, how can they be so close, yet so incredibly far from each other and do nothing more about it, those holes are obviously too tiny you white cat!!, you just cannot continue trying, it's done for, use your little brain!! Give up!!!, and you, what can you do other than loving her from a far?!! Give up and go home grey cat, life is beautiful on your side, isn't it? Enjoy it, forget her.
But then you know what happened at the end ?
They still found their way back to each other...
She used the freaking front door....
The one that's been there the whole damn time....
But how can she possibly not think of that before ? Why haven't she used it and made all of that pain and misery stop?!
The answer is that the door was open this entire time, but you know why she didn't pay attention?
Because all that she was focusing on is the fact that through the balcony is the only way, that her s/o is right there, only if she could squeeze a little more, only if she found another hole, "he is right there", she thought, "but not with me, never with me".
That lack...
Exactly what i was thinking about the whole entire time watching them, even when she was always attemting, she still limited herself, I limited her too....
And we both missed out on the damn open door .
She reunited with her grey mister, and they both walked off and left me alone, startled and overwhelmed.
But you know what the white cat taught me?
He is mine.
He is on the other side.
But he's not waiting for me, he never has.
I'm not going through any turmoil or hardships getting to him.
Because I'm already with him, no balcony, no grass, no tiny holes, metal bars or crazy possessive neighbors are ever gonna change that.
The white cat found out it was all fake, all an illusion she created, she just liked believing it was her fate because it was easier to play that card.
Once she called it out, it vanished, as if it was never there in the first place.
Because it wasn't, the truth is what she paints it to be.
Because the door has always been open for me.
I just need to walk through it...
Sorry for the tags, figured it's an interesting pov to share (this analogy was based on numerous information available on a couple of blogs I've read recently by the lovely @cloverapple, and they deeply resonated with me, add to the mix seeing the beautiful two outside, yep, I figured it out <3)
@stxrkligxt @beasrealities @amsrtentia @wisteria-shifting777 @arizzw @chronicalily @chaaistained












