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I have a request for raph tmnt 2012 where reader is Casey’s sister by like a year younger and he doesn’t take her as seriously or something but one day the shredders goons kidnaps her and she gets mind controlled. They do eventually save her but trauma and ptsd gets to her but raph is there all the way for her recovery maybe like she doesn’t wake up in a month cause karai seriously injured her. This could turn into like soft smut at the end but we love angst pff ps loved your raph and leo rival fic:)

Authors note: Of course! Thank you for the support and kind words. I'm so sorry this took ages, I went on a break and got crazy writers block.

Broken Brawn

Synopsis: After being kidnapped, mind-controlled and beating within an inch of your life, you didn't think anything could shock you. But lately, a certain turtle has been much more attentive and... kind?

Warnings: Canon typical violence, kidnapping, ptsd, angst, soft smut

Wordcount: 3.3k

Things had changed since... that night.

It's not a time you like to think about let alone talk about. If you were being honest, you would have preferred Karai to have given you some sort of memory loss with how hard she'd hit you in the head. But no such luck.

The actual series of events had only happened a month and a half ago despite you remembering it like it was yesterday. Sometimes you still see flashes of metal and the pained grunts of your friends as you tried ruthlessly to end them.

They tell you to move on, that it wasn't your fault, that you 'weren't yourself'. But you know the truth.

Some part of you deep down recognises that it had been you. Maybe not the wanting to kill them part, but definitely the angry, hating part.

They all used to treat you like you were glass.

Not in a mean way. Just in a casual, blink and you miss it type way.

Leo would purposely give you the safest, most boring roles in patrols and missions, Donnie was constantly ushering you out of his lab as if you'd hurt yourself simply by holding a glass test tube, Mikey was well... Mikey. April and Casey treated you like a child despite you only being a year younger than them.

And then there was Raphael.

He was undoubtedly the worst and most obvious about it. He would pick on you constantly – almost like Casey did, but at least Casey knew when to reign it in – Raph would insult you to the point you somehow felt like the outcast in a group for outcasts.

It's not that he didn't hold similar behaviour for the others, he just seemed to take a personal joy in telling you just how weak you were compared to them.

Yet all of that changed after you were mindcontrolled. Apparently, he had been by your bedside almost every day.

Your cousin claimed he had to force the red terrapin out several times so he wouldn't get caught by your uncle (you were currently staying with Casey's family). You doubted that, thinking it was just Casey trying to tease you. The mental imagine of him being able to 'force' Raph to do anything was impossible.

But he was right to some degree.

Raphael had definitely changed. You're not sure when or even why – you had been in and out of consciousness for the first month so your memory of the recovery was still foggy – but Raphael had done a full 180 personality wise.

Take today for example.

You and Casey had gone to the lair. It was a tedious task every time. You still hadn't fully healed from your sustained injuries and the mental toll wasn't much better, but you were managing. As long as you didn't look at the sea of bruises or think about the way you had heard your wrist snap when Karai realised you had broken free of the hypnosis, you could pretend everything was back to normal.

Somewhat.

You still had nightmares of being under the mind control and Casey had burst into your room multiple times this week to the sound of your sob-filled screams. Casey had kept those moments private and nobody seemed to comment on the way your hands still shook when handling anything remotely sharp.

Luckily, you made it to the couch without falling flat on your face or having Casey steady you or having Raph carry you. Yes. That had happened. Multiple times, actually.

You had been struggling to get down the ladder only to feel your feet leave the ground as he hosited you up into his arms. It felt weird and you had complained, but he shrugged you off with a sideways comment of how you weighed nothing. Before, it would sound snide and sharp, but now it sounded soft and almost boyish?

Speaking of, the turtle in question suddenly joined you on the couch. You felt the cushions dip as he shifted closer, eyeing you with a quiet intensity.

Before you could question what he was doing, he thrust a slice of pizza into your hands, waiting expectantly for you to eat it.

"Here." He said quickly, almost as if he was embarrassed. "You were late and Mikey had almost eaten the whole thing so... I, y'know, saved you a slice or whatever."

You murmured a thanks, bringing the slice to your mouth, and he practically preened at the praise. Yes, something had definitely changed alright.

A aprehensive silence followed.

You were focused on finishing your slice and trying not to glance too often at Raph while he had taken to drumming his fingers on his knee and shifting awkwardly as if he wanted to speak. You tried not to seem too hopeful or downright pathetic, so you only gave him sparing looks and otherwise took to ignoring him. Raphael used to say you were always so desperate for attention, so you were aiming to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Eventually, Raph gave up on waiting for you to talk first like you usually did and began speaking.

"So, what's wrong with you?"

There was a pregnant pause.

"Excuse me?" You blinked, the irration already bubbling. All you wanted was to be treated equally and even after everything that had happened he was still being the same old asshole.

Maybe you were wrong and he hadn't changed.

Sensing your change in tone, Raph raised his hands in mock surrender though the shit-eating smirk he was wearing told you he wasn't really sorry.

"I was just sayin'. Thought you'd be all mopey and sad forever. All you do is sit here and complain. I haven't even got a thank you for all the help I've been givin'. You need to move on, be like a river or whatever wise bullshit Leo says." Raph continued, his voice making it clear he genuinely thought he was giving you good advice.

You stood up angrily, ready to walk away only for him to catch you by the wrist and easily pull you back down onto the couch. It looks like you wouldn't have an easy way out of this one.

You opened your mouth to argue, to explain that you were having a very normal reaction to a very abnormal situation, to tell him how lost you were but he cut you off.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and looked around to make sure none of his brothers were around.

"I know it was scary, belive me I know what it's like to lose control. But you're here now, with m–with us and we won't let the foot get to you again. Ninja's promise." Raph said confidently.

"You can't promise that." You replied bluntly. "And I can protect myself."

He scoffed.

"I'll promise whatever the hell I want."

You were going to snap a half-hearted remark but in all honesty you didn't want to. It was only ever this endless cycle of arguing between the two of you. Sometimes there would be moments where you believed something... else was brewing, but the thought would crumble like a house of cards before it could ever fully take form.

Raph noticed your reluctance to speak as you shifted away from him on the couch, opting to lean on the armrest and face the opposite direction. He sighed forcefully.

"Really? Are you really gonna do that? How old are you, five?" Raph huffed, scooting closer. There was no real bite to his words but you still pressed yourself closer to the edge to make a point.

You continued to ignore him but he was annoying persistent. Even when Leo himself walked past saying it was time to go on patrol, Raph just waved him off. Leo gave you a sideways glance as if to ask what was wrong but eventually gave up and just walked out with a shrug.

The others left soon after and now it was just you and Raph.

"Look, if I upset you, you gotta know I didn't mean to. I'm not so good with feelings." He began, his eyes firmly glued to the floor.

"Donnie says I need to 'work on expressing my emotions better' but I express them just fine! It's everyone else who messes it up. But with you I–"

He cut himself off with a indignant groan and shook himself, muttering something under his breath.

Raphael restarted his approach and you watched him from out the corner of your eye.

"I'm going to be blunt. So here it goes. I like you, got it?"

You couldn't stop the sarcastic laugh that came out of you.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure you do, Raph." You scoffed, turning to fully face him, not noticing that you were both now inches apart. "Nothing screams friendship like being rude to me every day only to act all nice the second something goes wrong."

"I never said friendship." Raph muttered, dragging the words out like they were physically difficult to say.

It was then you saw the way his green skin was flushed darker at the cheeks. Huh. He was shy. You swallowed thickly and shook your head before nodding along. There's no way he meant what you thought he meant.

"So what did you mean?"

You didn't recall the words leaving your mouth and you hated how hopeful you sounded. It's like your brain had told your body to do the exact opposite of what you wanted.

He met your gaze head on and you found it impossible to look away. His bright green eyes were incredible up close and you wondered how you hadn't noticed the vibrancy until now.

The world seemed to stop.

This was it. This was the moment people write about in books and romance stories were everything else fades to background noise. God, you really had fallen for him.

There was a unspoken understanding between you. The sharp intake of his breath was the only warning you were given. Raph leaned in, cupping your jaw and kissed you.

The sensation was unlike anything you'd ever felt before. You were hyper aware of the way his calloused hand cradled your face like it was something holy. You'd never expected to experience such gentleness from him but it was nothing compared to the feeling of his lips against yours. You felt safe. For the first time in weeks, you felt completely safe.

Raph moved to pull back, panting softly with a soft look in his eyes. Gosh, you could look at him forever. How had you not realised it sooner? Master Splinter had been right after all. There really was a fine line vetween love and hate.

He looked at you like he still couldn’t believe you were real. Those sharp green eyes, usually narrowed in anger or sarcasm, were soft now.

"I love-"

Raph never got a chance to finish.

Mustering all your strength, you pulled him back into you, kissing him once more. He was strong. Really strong. You never quite noticed how his muscles flexed with every movement until they were right under your fingertips.

"Oh." Raph grinned. "Oh."

Your heart was still hammering against your ribs when Raphael pulled back from the kiss, his forehead rested gently against yours. The lair was quieter than it had ever felt before. The only sounds were the low hum of the generators, the distant drip of water in the tunnels, and the ragged rhythm of Raph’s breathing.

His jaw tightened and a flicker of old guilt crossed his face. "You attacked us. You attacked me. And I still couldn't stop thinkin' about you, I couldn't stop caring."

You reached up, tracing the edge of his mask with your fingertips. "I'm here. I'm me again and... maybe yours—i-if you'll have me."

"Yeah. I'll have ya alright."

Raph's hands had slid down to your waist and pulled you closer until you were pressed flush against him. He was so big – broad shoulders, powerful arms, the solid weight of his shell and body making you feel safe and small in the best way. He lifted you effortlessly, like you weighed nothing, and carried you toward his room without breaking the kiss.

The door slid shut behind you with a soft hiss.

Dim string lights Mikey had strung up years ago cast a warm golden glow over the space. Raph's room was messy in that lived-in way with weights in the corner, a punching bag hung up on the side, posters of motorcycles and old kung-fu movies taped to the walls, his bed a large futon piled with blankets that smelled like him.

It was in other words... cosy.

He set you down on the edge of the bed like you were something precious. For a moment he just stood there, staring, breathing hard.

"You sure about this?" He asked. "I ain't exactly… gentle."

You took his hand and tugged him closer. "I want you, Raph. Not some careful version. Just you. We can go slow if you want."

He blinked at that, his face morphing into a grin. "Hey, I never said that I wanted gentle. I just dunno if you can handle all this." He gestured to himself smugly.

You rolled your eyes with a smile. " Easy, tiger, I think I'll survive."

When you looked up at him, his eyes were dark with want and he grinned. "Well then, c'mere, babe."

He rose, guiding you back onto the bed until you were lying down. Raph settled over you carefully, keeping most of his weight on his elbows and knees so he didn't crush you. His mouth found yours again, and this time the kiss built heat steadily.

One of his hands slipped under your shirt, his palm rough and warm against your skin. He mapped every inch like he was memorizing you: tracing your ribs, the curve of your waist, the dip of your navel.

"You’re so soft," he noted against your lips. "So fuckin' warm. Drives me crazy."

You arched into his touch, tugging at the straps of his gear. He helped you, shedding his pads and straps with quick, efficient movements until only his plastron and skin remained. Your hands explored the hard planes of his chest, the powerful muscles of his shoulders and arms. He shivered when your nails grazed the sensitive edges where shell met skin.

Raph's mouth then moved to your neck, sucking lightly, then harder, leaving marks that made you gasp. "Mine," He growled. "You're mine now, babe. Ain't lettin' anyone hurt you again."

"Yeah...okay," you replied thickly, threading your fingers through the tails of his mask.

He peeled your shirt off slowly, his eyes drank in every new inch of exposed skin. When your bra followed you swear you heard an honest to God churr. It was cute and you'd made a mental note to tease him about it later.

"So hot," he murmured.

Raph lowered his head and pressed open-mouthed kisses across your collarbones, down to the swell of your breasts. His tongue flicked over one nipple, then the other, until you were squirming beneath him, heat pooling low in your belly. He took his time, learning what made you moan, what made your fingers tighten in his mask tails.

One big hand slid down your stomach, popping the button of your jeans. He glanced up at you for permission. You nodded, lifting your hips so he could slide the fabric down your legs along with your underwear. The cool air of the lair hit your skin, but Raph’s body heat chased it away as he settled between your thighs.

He kissed the inside of your knee, then higher, working his way up with surprising patience. When his mouth finally reached your core, you cried out softly. Raph was careful but eager, tongue exploring with broad, slow strokes before focusing on your clit. His hands held your hips steady, thumbs stroking soothing circles as he devoured you like a starving man.

"Raph– oh God!" Your voice broke.

Pleasure coiled tight and fast, but he kept the pace gentle, building you up without rushing. When you came, it washed over you in deep, rolling waves. He stayed with you through it, murmuring praise against your skin.

"That’s it, baby. So good for me."

You tugged him up, needing him closer. He kissed you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. Your hands found the slit in his lower plastron, stroking the sensitive flesh there until he groaned into your mouth, hips jerking.

"Careful," he panted. "You keep that up and I ain't lastin'."

You smiled against his lips. "I want you inside me, Raph. Please."

He positioned himself carefully, dropping almoet imideatly, the thick head of his cock nudging at your entrance. Even slick and ready, he took his time, inching in with gritted teeth and whispered curses.

"Fuck, you’re so perfect."

It burned a little at first - the stretch of him - but he held still, kissing you senseless until the discomfort melted into fullness and pleasure. When he bottomed out, he dropped his forehead to yours again, breathing hard.

"You okay?" he asked, voice strained with the effort of holding back.

You whined.

"Move, Raph. I need you to move."

He did, starting with slow, deep rolls of his hips. Every thrust dragged against that perfect spot inside you. His rhythm stayed tender, even as his breathing grew ragged and his grip on your hips tightened. You wrapped your legs around his waist, heels digging into the base of his shell, urging him deeper.

"I love you," he said suddenly, the words rough but certain. "Shoulda said it sooner. Love you so damn much."

Tears pricked your eyes. "I love you too."

The pace gradually quickened, but never lost its softness. He angled his hips to hit just right, one hand slipping between you to rub circles over your clit. The second orgasm hit you harder, pulling a broken moan from your throat as you clenched around him.

Raph followed soon after, burying his face in your neck with a deep groan, hips stuttering as he spilled inside you. His body shuddered, powerful muscles tensing and releasing.

For a long time afterward, neither of you moved. He stayed buried deep, holding you close, his weight a comforting blanket. You stroked the back of his neck, feeling the rapid flutter of his pulse.

Eventually, he pulled out carefully and rolled to the side, tugging you against his plastron. One arm wrapped around you possessively while the other hand traced lazy patterns on your bare back.

"Stay here tonight," he murmured into your hair. "Don't wanna let you go yet."

You smiled, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "I'm not going anywhere."

For the person who wanted to be tagged bc they requested something similar :) @sugarxchrry06