#shut up adder

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my birthday is in a few days and everyone is being so nice to me ; A ; I’m getting a new tablet, and the new Zelda game, and a multi-heat kettle, and I’m going to a buffet that has waffles and sushi and stuff - aaaa AAAA

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today has mostly been me writing a long and arduous list of things which traumatised me, lmao

like literally, i had to give it to my doctor to help with psych stuff and now I feel all raw and fucked up

Btw, I have an art blog now. @addertwist-draws

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ok but like

its not like my existence contributes anything, i barely leave the house and i don’t enjoy anything for more than a few minutes at a time, it’s a struggle to eat and a struggle to get to sleep and a struggle to wake up. i feel like i’m just shutting down, and would that really be such a bad thing? like i cant even... keep up with drawing basic-ass lineart, or writing, or anything. theres no point to me.

and even if i could work, like. work won’t give me a sense of purpose... but it might give me enough money to see my fiancee. i keep spending money i basically dont have on things i dont need and its not like i even enjoy them

anyway im gonna go sleep a while i guess, or something

obligatory ??

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just to keep you all in the loop

my mood is really bad atm because mental illness but also because: -i’ve been seeking help for 9 months and got nothing -I’m theoretically approved for govt insurance but getting nothing anyway -i still can’t access hrt -i have basically nothing in my savings and nothing to show for it bc impulse buying small stupid things -my old laptop is currently nonfunctional -the tiny netbook I got for $80 runs very little so yeah don’t hit me up unless you’re ready for me bein sad and pathetic and worthless lmao

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*banging pots and pans together*

I CAN’T TELL IF IT’S JUST BPD OR IF IM OTHERKIN WHAT THE   F U C K K E

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fuzzlepiece

  my birthday is in a few days and everyone is being...

Oh you’re actually getting the kettle? I’d never seen one before but I just saw one in my cousin’s new sharehouse!

@nargacutie said they’d get it for me! The one in their house does it too and they’re not that expensive - I’ll actually be able to have green tea again! :3

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Yo I’ve got a ko-fi link now

To anyone who wants to donate to my food, bills, the upcoming move, or just feels like being generous, I have a link now, and if you donate $6 or more and leave a note I'll draw you a little doodle!

Here it is!

No promises on quality as I'm doing really poorly right now, but hey! c:

Thank you to anyone who donates, it means a lot to me. <3

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whining under the cut

Life has no meaning and that's all well and fine but can't I at least have a hobby or a profession that I can actually fucking do, instead of exec dysfunction and bpd-related antipathy/apathy duets turning every goddamn thing to proverbial ash in my mouth?

hmu if you have a cure for the basics of my existence