I HATE 2NU SHIPPER I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPER I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPER I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPER I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPER I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPER I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPER I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS I HATE 2NU SHIPPERS
Nightwing: I got into wearing slip ons for comfort and was at the mall with some friends. And- Shoot I said friends. You see, Hood, those are people who like to hang out with you. I know that's... A foreign concept to you.
Oracle snickered, being one of the many batfam out for the night patrolling technically in her tower. Red Hood rolled his eyes.
Red Hood (flatly): I had friends.
Nightwing: The lunch lady doesn't count.
Red Hood: I had friends! Get to your story so I can deny it.
Nightwing: I was with my friends, Wally, Garfield, and I think Oz. We stopped at... Which store? It wasn't a Payless. It was the... The... Vans store. Right?
Red Hood: I'm not answering that. I'm not supplying you lies for your... web of lies! Ya liar!
Oracle (chiming in): It was a Vans store, next to the Claire's.
Red Hood: Wow! From you, Oracle?
Oracle (laughing): I just remember the layout.
Nightwing: Ah! Yes. We shopped and I got about five hundred dollars worth of shoes and socks and hats—
Batman (chiming in while having late breakfast with Robin): You said it was only two hundred for yourself.
Nightwing: I lied.
Signal, Red Robin, Spoiler and Oracle could be heard laughing at how nonchalant Nightwing was at admitting that.
Robin snickered.
Robin: He might be speaking truth if he admitted that casually.
Batman: Maybe, continue the story.
Nightwing: Gladly. I wore the classic black and white checkered pattern. I looked fresh and fly. Everyone said so.
Oracle: He looked all right.
Nightwing: Hood used to hype me up when he saw those shoes. He was like "Those are rad!"
Spoiler: He said rad? Aww! Hahaha!
Red Hood: It was a common catchphrase!
Nightwing: He wanted those shoes so bad. Papa wouldn't buy them, he wasn't a fan of those shoes. He can back me up on that.
Batman: They weren't my cup of tea.
Nightwing: Yeah, but being a good big brother I am, I went to the mall a few weeks later and I bought him those shoes. He almost cried.
Red Hood: Bullshit.
Nightwing: He was like 'Bro, you da best!'
Red Hood: Bullshit!
Nightwing: He wore shoes like that ever since. Thanks to me. Thanks to his big brother.
Robin (while eating waffles): Aww.
Red Hood: Don't believe that! Nightwing, how do you lie so effortlessly?
Nightwing: Where was the lie?
Red Hood: All of it!
Signal: Oh he's calling cap. What's your side, Hood?
Red Hood: Here's what happened. Here's the abridged version. You got home and acted like hot stuff with those shoes. I went, "Oh your shoes are rad." Then went to read a book. Like I do, I read books I enjoy that. You then bought me the shoes. I wasn't glazing.
Oracle: Yes you were. You almost cried when he got you those shoes.
Red Hood: I did not almost cry!
Oracle: You were more glazing than a Taylor Swift fan. He was like Tim before Tim.
Signal: Oh shiz. That's impressive. Hood loves his big bro.
Red Hood (blushing): Shut up!
Nightwing: He was obsessed with me.
Red Hood: I liked those shoes because they were popular at the time and a different person I liked wore those shoes. A friend at school.
Batman: Who was the friend?
Red Hood: It was one you all never met. I'm not lying!
He was very much lying. Dick was the one who made him want those shoes, and while he did get his own styling choices as he got older and was brought back to life, those vans were all thanks to his big brother.
Red Robin (finally speaking up): Why the hell you lying? Why you always lying?
Batman: Hood, it's okay to admit he inspired you. I took a picture of you in the shoes. You were giddy.
Red Hood: All of you are going after me? You set up this entire chat to lie on me? I was a trendsetter!
Oracle: Bitch, you lie.
Red Robin: I can't get over he was a fan like I was. Glazer.
Red Hood: You shut your ass up. Shut your ass up! Who put you on Red Bull? That was me! I bet I was the reason you added pants to the suit!
Red Robin: That was all me, buddy.
Nightwing: I got him into anime too. He wasn't watching Sailor Moon until I stepped in.
Red Hood: Roy was more the reason for that! You got me into a weird anime! Bobo whatever! That was the name and I couldn't tell if the show was good.
Signal (laughing): He got you with Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. Nightwing, you wrong for that. You gotta ease him into the weird anime.
Nightwing: He walked in while I watching it and laughed. He would be kicking his feet giggling like Robin. The current one. He loved that trippy show. Because of me!
Robin: I should be offended, but he might be onto something.
Red Hood: You- You are such an asshole!
Red Hood began finally laughing at the entire situation, couldn't even be mad. He wouldn't admit the vans part though. Once he started laughing it eased any possible tension that was on the call.
Red Hood: I made you think you were- You weren't- Without me hypin-
Signal: He giving the most young sibling energy, bro. My baby cousin be stammering like that. Nightwing, you win.
Nightwing: I'll take my metaphorical flowers.
Red Hood (annoyed but smiling): This family makes Arkham a day at the park.
