I keep getting a lot of humans are space orcs posts on my dash and I’m sick rn, so here we go.
Human, is sick and suffering on a couch with tissues nearby; some water; a towel on their forehead; a bucket — all that jazz.
Alien has been staring for a while now and is very cautious because “why are you heating up? Are you going to explode??”
Human: “no, I just got sick.”
Alien: “I do not understand — that is no reason for your natural body heat to increase into an unnatural temperature for your species.”
Human: “it’s just tryna burn away the bad stuff.”
Alien: “burn?”
It thinks for a second and refers to all the dirty tissues in a small trashcan next to the couch. “And what of these? You are sure your guts are not bleeding from your middle-face holes?”
Human: “yeah that’s just snot tryna flush out more bad stuff.”
Alien nods; doesn’t fully understand, but it can see its questions are not helping the human right now — in all their suffering.
Before it thinks to say goodbye so it can get the human a get well gift (which would’ve been something far too much for being sick like a car or something lol), the human suddenly sits up from the couch and grabs the bucket.
Alien: “what was that; are you alright?!”
Human, burping: “yeah; it was just a false alarm.”
Alien: “Alarm of what??”
The human starts puking; (turns out it wasn’t a false alarm).
Alien: oH YoUR GuTs !!!
