the weight of invisible scars
there’s a war beneath my skin—
not seen, not heard,
only felt in the hollow ache
of every restless night.
the needles of anxiety prick,
sharp and endless,
while depression drags me
into pits without bottom.
i wear my scars like armor,
but they don’t protect—
they remind me of battles
fought in silence,
in dark corners
where no one visits.
sometimes, i want to rip my own skin
to feel something real,
to drown the chaos
with pain i can control.
but it’s not just the cutting—
it’s the constant tug of rituals,
the endless need to fix what isn’t broken,
the crushing perfectionism
that crushes me whole.
this isn’t a choice.
this is survival,
a twisted language
my mind learned too well.
and every day i fight
to be more than my illnesses—
to be a soul,
not just a shadow.