[⋆☕︎˖] synopsis : sometimes you feel like you and caleb are so different that you wonder how you're even together, but then he reminds you of all the things he loves about you wc. 1.2k
[⋆☕︎˖] tags : caleb x gn!non-mc reader, fluff, comfort, anxious thoughts, reassurance, utter sweetness, caleb soothes you through it all
a/n : this may be a niche scenario but listening to 'cup of tea' by the two lips sparked my brain receptors. i feel like a fairy godmother that stops by every once in blue moon to bring an ounce of comfort to those who need it ಥ‿ಥ
You had been feeling off these past few days.
It started innocently enough. Conversations with friends, casual talks with their partners, listening to them gush about all the things they did together.
Matching hobbies. Shared interests. Couples who seemed to move in perfect sync with one another.
And somewhere along the way, the thought lodged itself into your head and refused to leave.
“Do you ever wish we had more in common?”
Caleb glanced down at you from where your head rested in his lap, brow lifting slightly. “What do you mean? We have plenty in common.”
“Like…?”
“Like our mutual affection for each other,” he said, poking your cheek.
You rolled your eyes. “That’s a given. But honestly, thinking about it now, it’s kind of a miracle we even ended up together.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way,” he said easily.
Your attention drifted away from the movie playing in the background, your thoughts wandering far louder than the television ever could.
The couple on screen fit together so naturally it was almost irritating. They liked the same things, finished each other's thoughts, laughed at the same jokes. They moved through life like matching puzzle pieces.
Meanwhile, you and Caleb once spent forty minutes arguing over whether watching a nature documentary counted as 'quality movie night material.'
“I mean, look at everyone else,” you muttered quietly. “Every weekend they're doing activities together, going to classes together, hiking together…”
“Well, that's them,” Caleb replied simply. “And this is us.”
His fingers drifted absentmindedly through your hair.
“And I love us."
Your chest tightened slightly at how easily he said it.
“You say that now,” you muttered, playing with the hem of his shirt, “but what if one day our differences become too much? What if eventually we just… stop fitting together? What if the things we love about each other now just become annoying later?”
He looked down at you for a moment.
Then—
“Pfft.”
Your head snapped back instantly.
You smacked him in the stomach, and he winced dramatically. “Ow.”
“You’re not taking this seriously,” you accused, sitting upright.
“I am,” he insisted, muffling his laugh. “Okay, fine. Let's say one day the thought of my cooking revolts you and you can't stand anything I make anymore.”
Your ears perked up slightly despite yourself.
“Well…” he hummed thoughtfully. “I guess I'd just have to scrap all my recipes and learn some new ones.”
“And what if the food I like doesn't agree with you?”
“Then I either learn to love it,” he shrugged, “or I spend another thirty minutes cooking something else for myself.”
You frowned harder while he fought back another smile.
“This is serious.”
“Most couples worry about communication problems,” he said. “You're over here preparing for the collapse of civilization because we ‘may' or may not end up liking the same food.”
You sighed, looking at the ground. “What if one day the differences become too much?”
“You really think we'd break up over a few disagreements?”
“Not a few,” you muttered. “Over time…”
He adjusted his position on the couch before opening his arms slightly toward you.
You huffed dramatically but still crawled back into the space he made for you, settling against his chest while his chin rested on top of your head.
“Having different interests is one of my favorite things about us,” he admitted softly.
You blinked.
“While it'd be nice to have more in common sometimes, I like seeing the world through a perspective I never would've found on my own.”
“Don't you ever get bored of the things I like?”
“Do you get bored when I ramble about my things?” he posed.
“No…” you pondered for a moment, “well, sometimes.”
He chuckled. “We're not going to agree with each other all the time, just like how we're not going to have the same interests either too.”
His arms tightened slightly around you.
“Do you know how depressing this apartment would look if you hadn’t gotten involved? If it were up to me, everything here would still be dark colours and plain furniture.”
You smiled a little despite yourself.
“Because of you,” he continued. “I find myself liking things I never would've looked twice at before. I go places I wouldn't normally go. I try things I never thought I'd enjoy.”
His voice softened further. “The world feels bigger with you in it.”
Your fingers tightened slightly against his shirt.
“I'll never get tired of hearing you talk about the things you love,” he said. “Even when I don't understand half of it. I like it because it's you, and I love seeing you light up.”
He rocked you gently in his arms. “I adore every little fragment that makes up you.”
“When I'm with you, it feels like I'm learning about the world for the first time. You leave little pieces of yourself behind in everything you do, and before I knew it, those pieces have become important to me too.”
Your expression slowly softened.
“So how can you say we won't work out when we're older?” he murmured. “All couples fight. We just start ours earlier, apparently over what to watch on movie night."
“I still wasn't watching that documentary,” you said, firmly. “Though the physics one was slightly less boring than the others.”
He laughed quietly before suddenly rolling the both of you sideways onto the couch cushions."
“Caleb—”
His face rubbed aggressively against your hair while you squirmed beneath him.
“How lucky am I,” he murmured into your neck, “that I get to keep discovering new ways to fall in love with you?”
The playfulness faded from your expression slightly.
“What if in ten years I'm not the same person you fell in love with?”
He stilled for a moment.
“Ten years is a long time,” he admitted quietly.
Your stomach sank slightly.
But then his arms tightened around you again.
“Who's to say I won't love the version of you ten years from now too?”
You looked up at him.
“I guess I'll just have the honor of falling in love with you all over again,” he reassured.
Something in your chest ached.
“I love you for you,” he continued softly. “And even if you change completely someday, I'll love whoever you become too.”
Your throat tightened.
His thumb brushed against your cheek. “All your sides, show them to me. Let me love all of them.”
“I've only ever wanted you,” he said. “When you're sick. When you're happy. When you're rambling about your hobbies. Even when you're angry at me.”
A grin hugged at his lips.
“Especially when you're angry at me.”
You groaned softy while he laughed.
“I want us to experience everything together,” he whispered. “Even the boring parts. Even when we're wrinkled beyond recognition and yelling at each other over what temperature the thermostat should be.”
He pressed a kiss to your forehead before peppering more along your jaw and neck.
You squirmed immediately. “Stop, that tickles.”
“Never."
He locked his arms tighter around your waist and buried his face into the crook of your neck.
“I could never get sick of you,” he mumbled against your skin. “I want every part of you.”
Your heart swelled painfully.
“So show me new sides of yourself,” he whispered. “Let me love those too.”
Then he smiled softly against your shoulder.
“It's you I want to spend the rest of my life loving.”
a/n : and thus she awakens from her indefinite slumber. i always get inspired at the worst times (rip exam upcoming szn) but that means you might be seeing more of me in the next couple of weeks♪～(´ε｀ ). writing brings me a great deal of comfort esp when im going thru a rough patch. one of my goals when writing is to hopefully ease someone's heart and perhaps offer a bit of comfort to those that need it. I don't write often but i still appreciate everyone giving my work some love. as always ty for reading my sweet bbs!! (✯ᴗ✯)
[⋆☕︎˖] synopsis : sometimes you feel like you and caleb are so different that you wonder how you're even together, but then he reminds you of all the things he loves about you wc. 1.2k
[⋆☕︎˖] tags : caleb x gn!non-mc reader, fluff, comfort, anxious thoughts, reassurance, utter sweetness, caleb soothes you through it all
a/n : this may be a niche scenario but listening to 'cup of tea' by the two lips sparked my brain receptors. i feel like a fairy godmother that stops by every once in blue moon to bring an ounce of comfort to those who need it ಥ‿ಥ
You had been feeling off these past few days.
It started innocently enough. Conversations with friends, casual talks with their partners, listening to them gush about all the things they did together.
Matching hobbies. Shared interests. Couples who seemed to move in perfect sync with one another.
And somewhere along the way, the thought lodged itself into your head and refused to leave.
“Do you ever wish we had more in common?”
Caleb glanced down at you from where your head rested in his lap, brow lifting slightly. “What do you mean? We have plenty in common.”
“Like…?”
“Like our mutual affection for each other,” he said, poking your cheek.
You rolled your eyes. “That’s a given. But honestly, thinking about it now, it’s kind of a miracle we even ended up together.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way,” he said easily.
Your attention drifted away from the movie playing in the background, your thoughts wandering far louder than the television ever could.
The couple on screen fit together so naturally it was almost irritating. They liked the same things, finished each other's thoughts, laughed at the same jokes. They moved through life like matching puzzle pieces.
Meanwhile, you and Caleb once spent forty minutes arguing over whether watching a nature documentary counted as 'quality movie night material.'
“I mean, look at everyone else,” you muttered quietly. “Every weekend they're doing activities together, going to classes together, hiking together…”
“Well, that's them,” Caleb replied simply. “And this is us.”
His fingers drifted absentmindedly through your hair.
“And I love us."
Your chest tightened slightly at how easily he said it.
“You say that now,” you muttered, playing with the hem of his shirt, “but what if one day our differences become too much? What if eventually we just… stop fitting together? What if the things we love about each other now just become annoying later?”
He looked down at you for a moment.
Then—
“Pfft.”
Your head snapped back instantly.
You smacked him in the stomach, and he winced dramatically. “Ow.”
“You’re not taking this seriously,” you accused, sitting upright.
“I am,” he insisted, muffling his laugh. “Okay, fine. Let's say one day the thought of my cooking revolts you and you can't stand anything I make anymore.”
Your ears perked up slightly despite yourself.
“Well…” he hummed thoughtfully. “I guess I'd just have to scrap all my recipes and learn some new ones.”
“And what if the food I like doesn't agree with you?”
“Then I either learn to love it,” he shrugged, “or I spend another thirty minutes cooking something else for myself.”
You frowned harder while he fought back another smile.
“This is serious.”
“Most couples worry about communication problems,” he said. “You're over here preparing for the collapse of civilization because we ‘may' or may not end up liking the same food.”
You sighed, looking at the ground. “What if one day the differences become too much?”
“You really think we'd break up over a few disagreements?”
“Not a few,” you muttered. “Over time…”
He adjusted his position on the couch before opening his arms slightly toward you.
You huffed dramatically but still crawled back into the space he made for you, settling against his chest while his chin rested on top of your head.
“Having different interests is one of my favorite things about us,” he admitted softly.
You blinked.
“While it'd be nice to have more in common sometimes, I like seeing the world through a perspective I never would've found on my own.”
“Don't you ever get bored of the things I like?”
“Do you get bored when I ramble about my things?” he posed.
“No…” you pondered for a moment, “well, sometimes.”
He chuckled. “We're not going to agree with each other all the time, just like how we're not going to have the same interests either too.”
His arms tightened slightly around you.
“Do you know how depressing this apartment would look if you hadn’t gotten involved? If it were up to me, everything here would still be dark colours and plain furniture.”
You smiled a little despite yourself.
“Because of you,” he continued. “I find myself liking things I never would've looked twice at before. I go places I wouldn't normally go. I try things I never thought I'd enjoy.”
His voice softened further. “The world feels bigger with you in it.”
Your fingers tightened slightly against his shirt.
“I'll never get tired of hearing you talk about the things you love,” he said. “Even when I don't understand half of it. I like it because it's you, and I love seeing you light up.”
He rocked you gently in his arms. “I adore every little fragment that makes up you.”
“When I'm with you, it feels like I'm learning about the world for the first time. You leave little pieces of yourself behind in everything you do, and before I knew it, those pieces have become important to me too.”
Your expression slowly softened.
“So how can you say we won't work out when we're older?” he murmured. “All couples fight. We just start ours earlier, apparently over what to watch on movie night."
“I still wasn't watching that documentary,” you said, firmly. “Though the physics one was slightly less boring than the others.”
He laughed quietly before suddenly rolling the both of you sideways onto the couch cushions."
“Caleb—”
His face rubbed aggressively against your hair while you squirmed beneath him.
“How lucky am I,” he murmured into your neck, “that I get to keep discovering new ways to fall in love with you?”
The playfulness faded from your expression slightly.
“What if in ten years I'm not the same person you fell in love with?”
He stilled for a moment.
“Ten years is a long time,” he admitted quietly.
Your stomach sank slightly.
But then his arms tightened around you again.
“Who's to say I won't love the version of you ten years from now too?”
You looked up at him.
“I guess I'll just have the honor of falling in love with you all over again,” he reassured.
Something in your chest ached.
“I love you for you,” he continued softly. “And even if you change completely someday, I'll love whoever you become too.”
Your throat tightened.
His thumb brushed against your cheek. “All your sides, show them to me. Let me love all of them.”
“I've only ever wanted you,” he said. “When you're sick. When you're happy. When you're rambling about your hobbies. Even when you're angry at me.”
A grin hugged at his lips.
“Especially when you're angry at me.”
You groaned softy while he laughed.
“I want us to experience everything together,” he whispered. “Even the boring parts. Even when we're wrinkled beyond recognition and yelling at each other over what temperature the thermostat should be.”
He pressed a kiss to your forehead before peppering more along your jaw and neck.
You squirmed immediately. “Stop, that tickles.”
“Never."
He locked his arms tighter around your waist and buried his face into the crook of your neck.
“I could never get sick of you,” he mumbled against your skin. “I want every part of you.”
Your heart swelled painfully.
“So show me new sides of yourself,” he whispered. “Let me love those too.”
Then he smiled softly against your shoulder.
“It's you I want to spend the rest of my life loving.”
a/n : and thus she awakens from her indefinite slumber. i always get inspired at the worst times (rip exam upcoming szn) but that means you might be seeing more of me in the next couple of weeks♪～(´ε｀ ). writing brings me a great deal of comfort esp when im going thru a rough patch. one of my goals when writing is to hopefully ease someone's heart and perhaps offer a bit of comfort to those that need it. I don't write often but i still appreciate everyone giving my work some love. as always ty for reading my sweet bbs!! (✯ᴗ✯)
synopsis. virgin!caleb's a little pent up and cums untouched !
cw. virgin!caleb ˖ slight dry humping ˖ making out ˖ caleb jizzes in his pants
note. first post kinda nervvy >.<
it's dark in caleb's room. the sun has set, blinds are closed. all he can hear and feel is you.
you're so pretty, perched on top of him. his mind is a mess. feeling hazy, dizzy, and not in control of his own body. he's wanted you since forever, and at the price of that, he's never been touched, not like this.
your lips are attached to his, slow and languid. tongues swirling against each other as you both explore. it's a bit awkward at times, noses bumping and teeth knocking. but it's caleb, and you adore everything about him so you find it endearing.
the heat of your body, and the puffs of heated breaths from your lips when you pull away drive him insane. he clenches his hands on either side of hands, not knowing what to do with them. he wants to touch you so desperately but doesn't know if he should.
you notice his inner turmoil.
"it's okay, you can touch me." you gently whisper against his swollen lips. he looks up at you with big and wide eyes, like a curious little puppy.
you take his hand in yours and guide it to your chest. his palm finds your breast. and with your hand still on top of his, you make him give it a squeeze. he lets out a strangled whimper and bucks his hips up into you.
he dives back in to kiss you more. you taste so sweet, and your touch has his heartbeat racing. he becomes more daring, his hands begin to trace over the softest parts of your body. touching, lingering, squeezing. you're so soft in comparison to the hard planes of his body, his arms wrap around your torso, tugging you closer to him until there's no space between your bodies.
you kiss him, deeper and deeper. your hips begin to move on their own accord, against his crotch. caleb can't help the sounds that escape his lips. he never knew that kissing and touching someone would feel this good. but he thinks that since its you, anything you give him would feel like this.
but it feels a little too good. and he freezes mid kiss. you pull back, concerned that somethings wrong. he knows what's coming, and he feels heat creeping up, knowing there's nothing he can do to stop it.
his cheeks are flushed, and he's panting. his head tilts back, eyebrows furrowed while choking out a groan. his hips thrust upwards with such force it surprises you and you let out a yelp.
you look down and see the wet patch forming against his grey colored pants, and then back at him. he's embarrassed.
he tries to speak, "this isn't... i mean.... um." but his thoughts are incoherent.
he's so cute you can't help but grab his face in your hands. you give him a chaste kiss.
"it's okay," you coo.
"it's not okay," he groans while rubbing his hand over his face. "it's embarrassing."
"it's not, i promise. it's hot." you remark. knowing that you don't even need to touch him directly can get him off has you biting down on your lip. it's so incredibly attractive.
"how quick do you think you can get hard again?" you question. he shrugs, not knowing the answer. he doesn't mind your question, but your own mind is racing with a million thoughts.
you wonder what other ways you can make him cum. . . !
Content: soulmate au, caleb is your stalker, he is an unreliable narrator and very much unhinged, he breaks into your home and sets up cameras, possessive and obsessive behavior, he kills someone but it's non-graphic, smut, L-bombs, oops reader is a little unhinged too, talk of marriage, marathon sex, somnophilia (with prior consent given)
➢ Read on AO3
From a young age, Caleb has always had a knack for seeing patterns. He makes mathematics look easy, he breezes through things like puzzles or building model airplanes, and he observes everything in life with a quiet calculation that unnerves most people.
His family calls him special. People who meet him for the first time call him a bit strange yet charismatic. Since childhood, he knew there was something different about him. Caleb has a gift no one else has: he can see fate.
Fate is beautiful. Connections and relationships are woven throughout the universe in the form of deep red threads. Some are thick cords, strengthened by a bond that's been realized early on in life. Others are thin, fraying, and tangled when someone touches a body they aren't meant to be with but want anyway.
These threads aren't exclusively for romantic bonds. Some destined relationships are lifelong friends, platonic life partners, or anything in between. A few people even have more than one if they're lucky. No matter the type of soulmate, everyone has a thread tied to them. Everyone except Caleb.
It's a cruel thing, seeing everyone else's destiny but being blind to your own. He doesn't even know if he has a soulmate at all. As a teen, he convinced himself it was a test—maybe he just needed to work harder to find his soulmate. He spent far too much time researching old mythology about destiny and fated lovers.
Growing into young adulthood, he spent even more time watching people, searching for someone else who might be missing their own thread. With Caleb's good looks and charming personality, he's always been spoiled for choice when it comes to a potential partner. Many people throw themselves at him, not realizing their threads tug them back toward someone else entirely.
It's not like he needs to reject his admirers. He knows he could just be another passing tangle or knot in someone's connection with a true soulmate. But that doesn't appeal to him. He wants to feel that undeniable pull, that intimate connection that comes with finding the person who was made for him. So he continues waiting—and watching for patterns he can study.
He soon learns how to guess people's whole life stories just from the way their threads are woven. It becomes second nature to figure out someone is having an affair or if they've lost a loved one or are desperately trying to escape fate altogether.
When he bumps into you at a café, he initially thinks nothing of it. He plasters on his usual suave smile while reaching down to grab your fallen bag. And when he hands it back to you, he freezes in place.
Caleb has never believed in sparks flying or love at first sight. Especially not when he's witnessed firsthand how every connection is planned by some higher power. But when he sees your face—your apologetic smile and the way you look at him with genuine kindness—he thinks fate becomes inconsequential.
His eyes land on the red thread tied around your left wrist like a shackle, and his heart drops. For a fleeting moment, he hoped you'd have no thread like him. He almost turns away, until he notices the wrongness of it.
Your thread is…ugly. A weak, dull color as it yanks at your wrist like an incessant child, trying to tug you toward something you don't seem to have any interest in.
The moment you turn your back on Caleb to resume your order, his eyes never leave you. You become an obsession—half because of that immediate flicker of something he felt when he saw you, and the other half because he has to find out why fate feels different around you.
His feet carry him mindlessly behind you when you leave the café. Careful not to arouse suspicion, he follows you all the way to your apartment. And imagine his surprise when he realizes you live right down the hall from his own apartment.
Caleb doesn't believe in coincidence. So he takes it upon himself to learn even more about you.
Clearly, the universe is sending him a sign. Maybe it messed up when writing your destiny. Maybe some cosmic being needs his help in fixing the mistake. Either way, he's the only one who can correct that dreadful thing holding you back from having a true soulmate. He's the only one who could be your soulmate.
He watches you for weeks, taking his time to collect as much information about you as he can before he makes his next move. People, normal people, are hilariously predictable. Not only are they beholden to fate, but they also desperately cling to routine. Just another pattern that Caleb picks up on with far too much ease.
It barely takes him a month to have your entire schedule mapped out and memorized. Even on the rare occasion when you do something spontaneous, he's able to intuit where you might go, who you might be with, and what time you'll decide to head back home.
He takes advantage of one of the moments you're not home, picking the lock on your front door with ease. Knowing exactly how much time he has before you return, he's planned the perfect opportunity to plant hidden cameras in each of the rooms of your apartment.
He's so well-prepared that he even has a few extra minutes afterward to go through your most precious belongings. It's hard not to steal a caress of your soft bed, rifle through the diary hidden underneath it, or gingerly smell one of your hoodies hanging on the couch.
If you were here now, you would freak out. Caleb's not insane enough not to know that. But he also believes if you gave him a chance to explain—you're meant to be with him, duh—maybe you wouldn't be too mad. That's why he does something completely unplanned and leaves with your hoodie after double-checking that all the cameras work.
Luckily, you don't notice the missing item or the added tiny red dots peeking out from strategically placed spots. One of the things Caleb loves about you is how sweet and trusting you are. It's something anyone else could easily take advantage of, though. And he doesn't like the thought of that.
Being a guardian angel isn't enough for him. Watching from afar won't mean much if someone gets too close to you when he's unprepared or turns his back for a moment. He needs to make sure no one else slides into your life. Especially if that someone could be whoever is on the other end of that counterfeit bond wrapped too tightly around your wrist.
So Caleb manufactures more accidental meetings with you. You're neighbors, after all. When you take out your trash, Caleb times his exit perfectly, turning a corner just fast enough to bump into you. His charming apology makes you a bit flustered, and he thinks you're even cuter when you're within arm's reach.
The second meeting happens at a bookstore three blocks down. The one you frequent every Saturday around lunchtime to read a new book while snacking on something salty. He’s already browsing the shelves when you walk in, glancing at you with feigned surprise when you notice your neighbor likes one of the books you read last week.
After that, it becomes easier. He embeds himself into your routine until he's impossible to ignore.
First, he's a simple stranger who you notice every once in a while. Then, an acquaintance who happens—coincidentally—to love the same cafés, the same obscure novels, the same quiet walking paths you prefer at dusk. He laughs at the right moments. Listens when you speak. Remembers little details you share that you think anyone else wouldn't bother paying attention to.
Finally, he becomes a friend. A staple in your daily routine. A shoulder you cry on when days are hard and you need someone to rely on.
In those moments, Caleb wants nothing more than to confess his feelings for you. Everything is going so well, and he can sense that you'd reciprocate his confession.
With every cozy hangout, conversation that stretches past midnight, and shared meal where your knees brush his under the table, Caleb watches the subtle shift in your body language. The way you lean closer and your voice softens. You're falling for him.
But that grotesque thing around your wrist begins to thrash in protest whenever he gets too close. His teeth grit every time he sees its blatant disapproval.
Why is the universe resisting him now? You are his other half. He's never been so sure of anything else in his life. Is this the real test he mistakenly thought he'd been put through as a child?
At night, he lies awake and dissects every possible next step. No matter the scenario, he arrives at the same conclusion. There is only ever one outcome with fate.
He's seen it before in past observations: no matter how much fate veers off course, it always finds a way to correct itself. But perhaps that's only because no one with Caleb's gift has ever tried to intervene.
People believe fate does not bend for desire, or that it doesn't reward patience and effort. They believe it simply is. But when you grow up seeing its physical manifestation and the way people fight against it, it's hard not to come to the conclusion that even something preordained can be manipulated by someone strong enough.
If Caleb's been given such a gift…then it would be a shame not to use it.
He'll make sure there is no possible way the universe could pull you into someone else's orbit. Which means he needs to find the parasite at the other end of your tether. He needs to measure their worth. Even though deep down, he already knows what answer lies at the end of his calculations.
And he's proven right when he finally does find your dead weight. Your so-called soulmate doesn't seem to treasure true love or fate at all. Even worse, the man doesn't even add up to a quarter of the exceptional person you are.
Your destined counterpart spends his days slouched at a bar that smells like stale beer and desperation. Caleb watches from across the street first. Then from inside. Then a day later, from a camera discreetly installed in the man's messy home.
He scowls as he watches your fated half drown in cheap booze and women that barely stay the night before being kicked out onto the street like trash. One could barely call this a routine when it's more like a never-ending rut for a loser who thinks he's the shit when he actually just smells like it.
This is what pulls at your wrist every night? This is what dares to fight when Caleb leans into you with a look full of yearning?
The knowledge taunts him for three days. That's all it takes before he ponders something brand new about the universe while watching a belligerent idiot snore facedown on a stained mattress.
Can fate defend itself?
Caleb makes sure what he's about to do will look like a freak accident. It's just something that happens to a drunkard who no one will miss anyway.
It turns out it's easy to sever the very thread of fate that he always admired as a kid. In fact, he's a little disappointed by the lack of ceremony. There's no bolt of lightning striking him down, no divine intervention or a voice booming from above in anger of what Caleb has taken into his own hands.
Fate is weak and pathetic as it tries to resist its new order from a power more determined than a fickle thing like the universe. It bleeds and whimpers before the last rush of air leaves its lungs.
Caleb stares down at the broken thread, now unattached from the man you were never meant to meet.
It feels like a stupid thought now, but he knows he has to attach it to himself. He doesn't believe in its power anymore, but you might. You might feel its loss if it decays, the same way he's seen remnants of other people's bonds that ended when their lovers passed away too soon. Besides, he wants there to be no question that there is an unshakeable bond between you two—even if you can't see it for yourself.
Caleb works quickly, tying a knot around his left wrist a bit too tightly, like he's scared it might come undone if he isn't meticulous enough. Some strange bit of life still left in the thread resists him at first, stubbornly recoiling from the wrongness of what just transpired. But familiarity is a powerful thing. He has already watched you, memorized you, and diligently shaped his life around the edges of yours. He makes fate recognize effort now.
It stings for a few minutes, feeling like forcing a shape into the wrong space. Fortunately, his lack of a thread becomes an advantage. There is nothing to conflict, nothing to reject the intrusion other than your own thread trying to hold onto something irrelevant.
And after a few heart-pounding moments, the knot finally holds—and your thread stills. Caleb exhales for the first time in minutes. He leaves the unmoving body on the dirty mattress, smiling when he thinks of the next time he'll see you with a strengthened bond.
Your neighbor—and new best friend—is the sweetest man you've ever had the pleasure of meeting. You never thought you'd find someone like him in this day and age. A true gentleman, he makes you feel seen in a way that feels inevitable. Like he was always waiting for you to run into him on a busy day at your favorite café.
Lately, you've been unable to stop yourself from flirting with danger. And it really is a dangerous thing to fall in love with a neighbor. If things don't work out, then you'll have to bump into an ex every day just to go in and out of your apartment.
But if the only dangerous thing about wanting a man like Caleb is the possibility of a constant heartache, then you'll take your chances. Besides, your chest already tightens painfully every time he smiles at you. Your heart really does skip a beat when he laughs at your jokes, or hugs you when you're sad, or when his hands wander just a bit while he cuddles up beside you on your couch.
Caleb is different than any men you've ever met. He's better. Maybe he's the best you might ever get. And you're not going to let someone else snatch him up.
That's precisely why you've already put so much faith in him. Someone as gentle as Caleb could never hurt a fly, so you happily gave him a key to your apartment for emergencies. You let him come over even when you're looking like a mess after tiring days at work. You even fall asleep on him sometimes, so trusting that he would always protect you even in your most vulnerable states.
His easygoing charm and innocent puppy-like eyes make your heart beat only for him. But you're also a bit annoyed; no matter how much his touch might wander at times, he always holds himself back.
You've tried baiting him with shorts that "accidentally" ride up a bit between your thighs when you bend down in front of him. You've even let your hands trail his chest and abs while watching movies beside him.
It takes all your willpower not to jump him right then and there the moment your fingertips trace the quivering lines of his lower stomach. His breathing always turns heavier with cute little gasps of air when you touch him. But still, he doesn't take things further.
It's for this reason that you decide to take a leap of faith and ask him on a date. You're not usually this bold with your crushes, but something about Caleb makes you want to be brave. When the two of you meet up at your usual café for lunch, you take advantage of a quiet moment.
"Caleb?" you say, trying to keep your voice steady as he looks up at you over the rim of his coffee mug.
He sets the cup down, giving you his full attention like he always does. You stammer for a second, and he smirks, as if he can guess what you're about to say. That cockiness is what makes you turn a nervous question into a headstrong declaration.
"I want to go out on a date with you."
Immediately, you feel a bit stupid for the phrasing and the way you looked at him like he had no say in the matter. But Caleb—always the type to play along with your every whim—smiles, his dimples making you swoon a bit. You notice a flicker of something strange in his expression, but it's too fast to put to words.
"You do?" he asks with a chuckle, far too calm when you're over here sweating buckets and waiting for a proper response. "Well, I could never say no to you."
The warmth that spreads through you is immediate and dizzying. You laugh in relief, feeling ridiculous for ever doubting yourself or his feelings for you. Caleb wipes away any residual doubt the second he gets up from his chair and presses a chaste kiss to your cheek.
He promises to plan everything for your date, even though you were the one who asked him out. The next weekend, he meets you at your apartment promptly on time, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a small box of treats from that dessert place you love visiting.
Everything is perfect and effortless. Even more so than how it usually feels being by his side. He picks a restaurant you mentioned wanting to try weeks ago—one you hadn't expected him to remember. He holds doors open for you, rests his hand lightly at your back while leading you to the table, and looks at you like you're the only person in the room.
As always, conversation with Caleb flows easily. Since you've known him, he's always been able to guess what's on your mind, what might be bothering you or making you nervous. It's uncanny just how much he can stay in sync with you, as easily as breathing.
But this time, there's something just a bit different about your dynamic. Something charged with a heightened tension.
When your fingers reach across the table to brush against his hand, he doesn't pull away or avoid eye contact. He looks at you like what you've just done has sealed something he's been waiting to finalize for a long time.
It should scare you, that dark look in his eyes. Because for a second, he looks a bit unrecognizable. But all you feel is a sensation like something clicking into place.
You intertwine your fingers with his and ask, "Do you believe in soulmates?"
For the first time since you've met him, Caleb looks surprised. Nothing ever catches him off guard. Yet somehow, this simple question does the trick.
Wondering if maybe your question was a bit embarrassing, you backtrack. "I know it sounds silly. But—"
"Yes," he interrupts with a whisper. "I mean…I'm not sure if I did before meetin' you." His thumb rubs your knuckles back and forth as he holds your hand just a bit tighter. "But now I know."
If it was anyone else, you might have been amused by how cheesy his words are. But when Caleb is the one saying them—so earnestly, too—all you feel is a rush of heat through your body.
The rest of the date happens in a bit of a blur. Both of you can't seem to keep your hands off each other, even opting to skip dessert if it means getting back home quicker.
You really aren't the type to invite a first date inside your home, no matter how well the night goes. This time it's different because it's Caleb, the man you've already shared so much with. He's been inside your home before. He's seen you in every way but one. And you're desperate to show him that missing piece now.
As soon as you unlock your door, you push him inside, all pretense forgotten the moment your shoes and coats come off. You crash into him, feverish kisses stealing his breath away as he chuckles between them. You don't care how eager you seem, you just want his lips on yours.
Using his tie as a leash, you tug him backwards with you, blindly stumbling to your bedroom. But even when you think you might bump into a wall, Caleb redirects you with his eyes closed, like he's memorized the route you need to take without so much as parting from your lips. If you weren't getting drunk off his kisses, maybe alarm bells would ring in your mind—you've never taken him to your bedroom before now.
Nothing matters anyway. Nothing except getting him out of these stupid clothes and showing him just how much you've wanted him all night. When Caleb gently pulls you down onto your bed, you move with more roughness, your frenzied kisses pausing so you can shove him to sit back against the headboard and straddle his lap.
His eyes sparkle with mirth, but he lets you manhandle him. The realization makes your stomach flutter. Testing the waters further, you use his shoulders as leverage before grinding down on him. Caleb's hands fly to your hips with a gasp, but he doesn't control your movements. He just lets you rock at your own pace, basking in the weight of your core rubbing against his clothed erection.
His compliance encourages you, making you needy for leaving more kisses along his Adam's apple and neck. He moans for you while his hips buck instinctively beneath yours, and it makes another flood of arousal pool between your thighs.
"Mm, is this okay?" you mumble against his skin while grinding with more pressure, desperately chasing friction.
His fingers tighten on your waist, but he still doesn't stop you. "Y-you can use me however you want, baby," he replies through another breathy moan. "I'm yours. All yours."
How did you get so lucky, you wonder before biting down on his neck. You make sure to suck a mark worthy of being on someone who gives himself to you so eagerly. It's the least you can do for how sweetly he whimpers and claws at your hips while you hump him until you're nearly coming on his lap.
In the midst of your greed, you've undone his tie and ripped a few of the buttons on his shirt, making room for more licks and bites. When you lean back to look at your handiwork, both of you are panting, not nearly satisfied yet but needing a moment to catch your breath. And your sweet friend, no, boyfriend now, looks at you like he's ready to worship you.
He slides one hand up your body, taking his time to feel every curve until his fingers gently wrap around your left wrist. He holds his breath and glances at you with hesitation, like touching your arm is a sin.
It's cute how even after your frenzied touches and kisses, he acts like he still needs permission to reciprocate them. You nod, and then he carefully lifts your hand to his trembling lips before kissing the inside of your wrist.
The gesture seems deeper than you can understand, especially with the way he keeps glancing at you as if you know its hidden meaning. But you're lost for words, only feeling that aching throb between your legs and needing him to soothe it. He notices your confused expression but presses another kiss to your hammering pulse before smiling up at you.
"Let me take care of you now," he says, tugging you by the wrist to reposition you beneath him.
It's your turn to be maneuvered, and you let him. He kisses down your body, fingers still tickling that wrist he seems fixated on before he pins it to the mattress.
The two of you pull at each other's disheveled clothes until you're both bare. Until the tip of his cock nudges against your lower belly as Caleb continues showering you in love. But before you can feel it inside you, he seems to have other plans.
His kisses travel across your chest, against stiffened nipples, along the softness of your tummy, then finally between your thighs. When he pushes your legs apart, you shudder, feeling the cool air kiss your soaked folds a second before his warm breath does. Then he drags the flat of his tongue in one long, deliberate stripe from your entrance to your clit.
The sound you make is obscene. Your hips jerk up before you can stop them, accidentally shoving your cunt harder against his mouth. But Caleb's only response is a needy moan, like he’s the one being pleasured, the vibration humming straight through your core.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he mumbles, lips brushing your swollen clit as he speaks. “Let me hear you, baby. You're mine now—those sounds are mine.”
You barely have time to let the certainty of his words sink into your fluttering stomach before he dives in like a man starved. No teasing anymore. Just hungry, wet, open-mouthed kisses to your pussy.
It's like he knows exactly what pace to set and how much pressure his tongue should apply to make you wail for him. Could it be possible this man was sent from Heaven to satisfy all your cravings? You swear you might become religious after this.
His tongue nudges against your clit before his lips suction around it, and your back arches off the bed while you moan for him. One hand flies to his hair while your other fists the sheets, and still he doesn’t let up. If anything, the way you yank his hair only makes him moan louder against you.
There's a faint rustle of movement, and you glance down to see Caleb gently rocking against your mattress, so lost in the taste of you that he needs to hump your bed.
"Oh my god, I think I'm gonna come," you cry, feeling overwhelmed by how quickly he's able to pull this much pleasure from you. You fuck his face with more fervor now, shamelessly bucking your hips and pulling on his hair with a tightness you'll only regret after you come down from this high. "Caleb, please…need your fingers. Wanna come around them," you whine with each buck.
You peek down at him, and he's watching you with dark eyes, a scary determination in them while his hand snakes in between your legs. His fingers slide inside you with ease, curling in a rhythm that matches how he laps up your slick.
The soft smacks of his lips against your skin and the squelch of your wet pussy fill the room, mingled with your growing screams. And then you gush around his thick digits—coating his lips, chin, and palm with your orgasm. Caleb takes it all with a look of reverence on his flushed face, licking every drop you give him and gasping for air when he finally parts from your twitching body.
When he slides up your body to look at you with a satisfied grin, your pussy clenches again at the sight of his glistening mouth and pupils blown wide. He looks dazed, proud. His cock slides against your still-twitching pussy, smearing precum against the mess you already have between your legs—but he doesn’t rush you. Instead he kisses you deep, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.
“Please,” you whisper against his lips when he pulls back just enough to breathe. “More, I need more. Need you inside me.”
He exhales a shaky laugh that turns into a groan when you wrap your legs around his waist. “Yeah…yeah, baby. I’ve got you, don't worry.”
Reaching down, he nestles the head of his cock between your folds and then finally pushes in. It's slow, so fucking slow, but you revel in the jolt of pleasure that shoots down your body as he stretches you out cautiously. He's bigger than any man you've had before, but every thick inch slides inside easily, filling you all the way until his hips are flush with yours.
Caleb curses beneath his breath, head falling to rest against yours while he pants and gasps at the feeling of you wrapped so tight around him. His eyes meet yours, locked and unable to tear away when he starts to move.
You both groan from the feeling, gripping each other tighter and starting to build up a faster rhythm. It's easy to get lost in this feeling, and you lose track of what you mumble and chant while Caleb picks up the pace. But while you struggle to keep your eyes on him, he can't stop staring.
He also can't keep his hands off you while fucking you nice and deep. His fingers toy with your nipples, rolling and pinching them to get more sounds out of you. And then they caress your stomach, pushing down slightly right above your mound to elevate the feeling of how he fills you up. You stutter and shake, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into a breathless kiss.
His lips find yours again and again between thrusts, sharing his breath with you before he whispers, "Fuck, I love you."
That sentence sends your thoughts to a screeching halt, but your pussy clenches even harder around him. You should be appalled that he's saying such a thing so soon. You should reconsider this whole relationship and how quickly you've allowed it to escalate.
You should, but you don't want to. In fact, you think you love him too.
Feeling your second orgasm barreling toward you too fast, you crash your lips against his again, nails digging into his shoulders and leaving little red crescents.
“Hm, I…love you too,” you babble, after breaking the kiss. Your brain practically short-circuits with how close you are to coming. You can't stop the words spilling out of your mouth. “Love you so much. Don’t stop, oh, don’t stop—”
The second those words leave your lips, a switch seems to flip in Caleb's brain. His whole body locks up for one heartbeat, buried deep inside you, cock throbbing hard enough that you feel it pulse against your walls. Then he exhales a ragged sound against your mouth, and the slower, careful rhythm he’d been holding onto shatters. His hips snap harder, punching the air from your lungs and making your eyes roll back.
“You can't take that back now,” he growls, his voice alarmingly different from the sweet, hesitant Caleb who kissed your wrist like it was sacred.
He’s moving faster, rougher, but still so deep it feels like he’s trying to carve himself into you permanently. Your foreheads stay pressed together, making it impossible to look away from the wild, glassy look in his eyes.
“I’m gonna marry you one day,” he groans, like it's a fact and not a hypothetical. “I'll put a ring on this finger"—he snatches the same hand he’s been obsessed with all night and brings it to his lips to kiss the bare spot where a ring would sit—“and make sure everyone knows you belong to me.”
This is so wrong, god this is so wrong. Everything is moving so fast. You shouldn't like this. You can't tell if this is just dirty talk or something more serious, but that look in Caleb's eyes is a little terrifying.
And yet? Your cunt flutters hard around him at the words, more of your arousal gushing down and soaking the sheets beneath you.
“Oh, fuuuck, that's it," he says with a manic laugh, folding your legs higher until your knees are pressed up against your sweaty chest. "I can feel how much you like this, baby. It's okay if you do," he coos. "Gonna ruin you for anyone else. No one else gets to touch you. No one else gets to hear you moan like this. You’re mine—only ever gonna be mine. Say it again for me, sweetheart." His voice cracks, and it's the only thing making you refocus on his words while your ears ring from the pleasure. "Say you love me while I fill you with my cum.”
You’re beyond proper speech now, just broken whimpers and gasps, but you manage to choke out, “Love you—I love you, Caleb.”
He slams in one last time, hips grinding flush against yours, cock pulsing as he comes with a choked sob that makes your toes curl. Your pussy spasms and clamps around him, milking him dry as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you.
Turns out you're just as crazy in love as he is. And you don't have it in you to be ashamed right now.
Caleb's counting his lucky stars that he spent all those nights watching you touch yourself through the flickering camera feeds he set up. It's what helped him learn all the ways you like to be caressed, the speed you prefer when you have a silicone cock deep inside you, and the fantasies you'd whisper to yourself when you imagined someone above you.
You won't need fantasy anymore, though. He knows everything about you. That's why he's able to make you cream on his cock over and over again, while his hips move at a speed even he didn't know he was capable of.
The gravity of this moment—of finally claiming the person he's going to keep for the rest of his life—is heady. It makes Caleb insatiable and greedy for more. More of your addicting sounds, more of your shaking orgasms, more of his cum spilling deep inside you.
More, more, more. Caleb can't stop chanting it each time you melt and rake your nails against his back and allow him to take everything from you.
You're so pretty, so perfect, all his. It goes straight to his head, and his cock, when you beg for all that he's giving you even when your body is so weak that it can't hold itself up.
You like being pushed to your limit, it seems. Right when you become too exhausted to keep your eyes open, you sleepily tell him he can keep going if he wants to. He can't help but come inside you again just from hearing your whispered permission to use you while you fall asleep.
The fact that you trust him so readily…god, he knew you were made for him. He doesn't keep you awake too long, even though his cock already throbs insistently for more of your warmth after he pulls out with a groan.
Caleb is no stranger to patience. He's glad he waited to find you. Because now he'll never let you go—and there will be many more days to spend reminding you of that if you ever forget.
No matter what happens now, you're bound to him forever. Fate made sure of it.
a/n: thank you all for the 2k celebration votes 💕 I hope I made good on our wish for more scaryleb teehee
and none of this would be possible without my ride or die @heartyluv, who constantly inspires me with her takes on scaryleb and toxic!caleb. everyone say a big thank you to her bc she let me yap about this fic to her and she beta read it for meeee, ilysm Jay 😘
I’m thinking of the scene when Lili returns to Japan and later learns that Kit died. That episode and the next are shown in black and white. It’s a beautiful representation of her feelings during the time.
Of how her world lost its color without him in it. When she finally sees color again, it’s when he shows up in Japan actually alive and the first things that light up are his blonde hair and blue eyes.
It’s beautiful beyond the fact that he was her color but also that even on the precipice of marrying Shin, nothing else had brought such color into her life. And despite that, she didn’t immediately choose Kit.
It was so sweet when Kit then gave her a sketchbook filled with all things he had seen. Despite the longing she felt, she let him board his boat back to England.
The next scene shows him holding a ticket intended for her to come with him. It was heartbreaking and warming all at that same time.
That after 5 years, he had waited for her and wanted to take her with him. But when he learned she was to marry Shin, he made no comment. He chose to let her live in peace instead of disrupting her new found life.
When she and Shin decide to break off their marriage and pursue their own goals, even then, she and Kit were still apart. It isn't until another year and a half later that they finally unite and acknowledge the color they bring to each other's lives.
I found the seemingly endless push and pull and long waiting game to be so breathtaking. Across oceans, time, and the trials of life, their love that was so gentle and refreshing continued to shine through it all.
When they finally admit their feelings to each other, they use so many words, but none of them were “I love you.” I felt like that in itself was so powerful.
For them, the knowledge that they brought color into each other's lives was more meaningful than those three words. Kit tells Lili that the landscape is nothing without her. She in turn tells him that a world without him was a world without color.
He then tells her that her being there fills the world with colorful hues and that it’s the color he needs. That it’s always been her. Those words to me are far more meaningful than just, “I love you.”
It brings me to question just how important “I love you” really is and if it’s enough. If it adequately encapsulates the feeling of love itself.
˚. ౿ 🌸 OBSESSION ﾉ xia caleb x female reader ៹ college au, jock caleb, established relationship, caleb is a little off his rocker, so is reader, silly little crack fic, caleb wears his gfs panties, that's the fic. i wrote this idea rewatching john tucker must die at 2am last night so this is not proofread ˓˓ WORD COUNT ᨀ 1.7k ish !
caleb is grossly, irrevocably, indescribably whipped for you. he’d live inside of your skin if he could find a way to make it happen. carve out an itty bitty home for himself underneath your ribcage and set up shop near your heart where he could keep it safe. you know it. your friends know it. his teammates definitely know it. hell, everybody on skyhaven university’s campus knows that caleb xia, captain and star point guard of the basketball team, is pathetically gone for his darling girl.
you’re a steady, constant presence in the gym even when you’re not physically there. your pastel bunny bag charm swings from the zipper of caleb’s duffel bag. your initials are stitched into the wristbands he wears on game day. and he can’t, for the life of him, stop bringing you up in conversations. “my girl makes the best spicy noodles,” he’ll gush when someone mentions food, or, “gotta call my baby, she’s probably missing me right now,” before he facetimes you in the middle of pregame workouts. can anyone really blame the guy? you’re the most precious thing on campus and he’s convinced your smile alone can solve the global warming crisis.
caleb’s friends all think it’s a phase, their captain’s first real relationship. they figure he’ll get it out of his system in a few months and grow tired of you after a night out around even prettier girls with sweet eyes just for him. but they have no idea.
no one understands just how far gone caleb is until the day he bends over to tie the laces of his basketball shoes during a quick break and his low-slung shorts end up riding down just a fraction.
and there it is.
a delicate strip of strawberry cream lace, stretched across the sharp cut of his hipbones. a stunned hush falls over the basketball court, broken only by the slow dribble of a forgotten ball that bounces down the court.
“dude,” caleb’s best friend, gideon, chokes out, “what the fuck is that?”
caleb straightens up then, throwing his teammates a glance over his left shoulder. “what’s what?” he asks, all innocent, golden-boy charm. but there’s a flicker in his magenta eyes, a knowing glint; he’s absolutely shameless.
“that!” another one of his teammates splutters, pointing somewhere beneath caleb’s navel, horrified. “is that… dude, are those panties?”
a slow, love-drunk grin spreads across caleb’s face like wildfire. “oh, these?” he teases, his long thumb hooking casually into the sweat-drenched waistband of his shorts and dragging down one side of the fabric, giving them a full, deliberate view of the lace hugging his hip. there’s a tiny strawberry-patterned bow at the top of the pair. “yeah. my baby left ‘em at my place last night. just keeping them safe for her. you know how it is.”
his team exchanges glances, blinking in disbelief. he shrugs like it’s the most normal thing in the world, heading courtside for his water bottle and when he reaches for it, the movement makes the blush pink lace flash again. a collective groan echoes in the gym.
gideon, his supposed voice of reason, blinks rapidly. “caleb. brother. my man. you know you can just… put them in a dresser until she comes back, right? you own drawers. you don’t have to wear her panties to keep them safe. nobody is stealing your girl’s panties but you.”
his team dissolves into loud wolf-whistles and the kind of boyish, obnoxious guffaws and whooping that can be found in any damp, old spice smelling locker room. the tips of caleb’s ears tint pink, but he’s smiling dopily, rubbing the nape of his neck with his knuckles. someone throws him the ball and he catches it on instinct, bouncing it once. “where’s the fun in that?” he says, his grin returning full and bright, dribbling the ball idly. “they’re comfortable, and the best part? no chafing.”
“plus…” he starts, and the ball stops bouncing. his voice drops, losing all of its teasing edge and warming into something cloud-soft. his teammates groan in unison; they know that look. caleb’s about to go off about you. “it’s like having a piece of her here with me. keeps me focused and reminds me what i’m playing for. i have to make it to the pros so i can build her a mansion.” he says it so earnestly his teammates can almost pretend he’s talking about why he wears his lucky socks and not, you know, his girlfriend’s fucking lace panties. for caleb though, it’s probably the same thing.
a slow, dreamy smile touches his lips. “aaaaand,” he singsongs, the dreaminess shifting into pure, unhinged glee, “they smell like her.”
there’s a beat of stunned silence between the players, then—
“jesus fucking christ, caleb!” the team’s small forward wheezes, crushing the heel of his palms to his ears. “that’s disgusting—”
“that’s it. i’m finding another team. i can’t. i physically can’t,” one of his teammates, drew, declares, turning on his heel like he’s actually going to march right on out the swinging doors of the gym.
gideon just shakes his head, looking skyward for patience before holding his hands out for the ball. caleb passes it with a shit-eating grin. “you’ve seriously got some screws loose up there, xia.”
“he’s got a whole hardware store full of screws loose,” one of the seniors on the team hollers from the baseline.
caleb takes it all in stride, winking as he easily catches another ball tossed his way. he doesn’t even sweat as he lines up for a shot from the corner. “just a few,” he hums, tapping the side of his head with his free hand. the ball sails through the air, hooping through the net with a near silent swish. he turns back to his team. “now, are we gonna practice or are you just gonna stare at my ass all day?”
practice resumes, but the energy has shifted. the only thing on their mind is the sight of their fearless captain in strawberry-patterned panties and they tease him relentlessly behind it: looking good cap! and down catastrophic, captain! and a little bit of hey caleb, you remember that one episode of spongebob with the panty raid— but caleb could care less.
later, back in the apartment he shares with gideon, caleb flops onto his bed, pulling out his phone and tapping the message widget on the home screen that immediately brings him to your message thread.
> caleb: pip you there??
> caleb: the guys were so mean to me at practice today >:(
> caleb: sons of bitches
your reply is almost instant, and he can feel the restless, possessive coil in his chest begin to loosen just seeing your name.
> you: why? what happened?
he bites his lip. then, with deliberate slowness, he shifts onto his back and snaps a picture. just the low waistband of his gray sweatpants, tugged down an inch to reveal the strawberry lace against his skin that he’s still wearing. he sends it.
[Image Attached]
> caleb: wore the panties you left over here to practice:)
> caleb: they’re soft. and they smell like you.
> caleb: which is the best smell in the world btw
the typing bubbles appear, then disappear.
> you: ????? YOUCDID NOT
> you: wdym they smell like me????? CALEB
> you: i can’t believe you. did you really not wash them?
he brings the phone closer, tongue peeking out of the side of his mouth as he grins, fingers flying over the keyboard to write his reply.
> caleb: washing them would be a tragedy.
> caleb: it’s the only piece of you i have with me right now :cccc
> caleb: miss you so much my chest hurts.
he hits send and waits, pressing the phone to his sternum dramatically, right over the ache. the notification buzzes against his palm almost immediately.
[Image Attached]
he taps it and the sound he makes in the back of his throat is embarrassingly ruined. it’s a picture of you, of course. curled up amongst your fluffy pillows, drowning in his favorite heather gray sweatshirt with the hem of it pinched between your fingers, tugging up the fabric just enough to show him the familiar black boxer briefs you’re wearing, to show him that you’re just as obsessed as he is.
> you: miss you too >:)
satorhime: — thank you for readdingggg this is rushed and quick but jock caleb is driving me up the WALL. i took a super long hiatus from writing and i’m trying to get back into it. my writing style has changed a lot over the years since i started out on this blog but i hope you enjoyed it!!!! i will be posting more in the next few weeks bc i have sooo many drafts i finished heheh :( <333 love uuuu
—hcs about sharing a bed with caleb bc i still haven't finished his bday fic :p
☆ caleb has long accepted that he’s never getting his personal space back (good, he doesn't want it anyway). no matter what position he falls asleep in, he always wakes up at the edge of the bed, ass hanging out, with your arms and legs wrapped around him like a koala. he doesn't mind really, because he loves that you still gravitate towards him, even in your sleep.
☆ whenever you get into a petty argument, you make a point of building a pillow barrier between you. when he tries to protest, you just shoot daggers at him and turn your back. you can't sleep because of his constant shuffling, but eventually, you knock down the barrier bit by bit, letting him roll over beside you and softly whisper an apology in your ear while he pulls you close. you don’t respond because you’re still upset, but you just let him hold you. and that alone is enough for him
☆ winters in skyhaven are brutal because of the high altitude. so on cold winter nights, you find yourself drawn to caleb because he's just so warm—he's basically a human radiator. when you're feeling cheeky, you like to slide your cold hands under his shirt and laugh evily whenever he flinches
☆ whenever you visit him in skyhaven, he insists on sleeping in your room together. It's not that he dislikes his room, he just prefers being in the space you've curated in his home. he loves being surrounded by things that smell like you, breathing you in while he falls asleep
☆ caleb likes to pretend he's still asleep when you think you've woken up before him. he lets you poke his cheek, blow in his face, tickle his chin, play with his hair until he’s had enough and rolls you over, pulling you into a soul-crushing hug you can’t escape
☆ his favourite time of day is the moment you fall asleep at night, and the moment just before you wake up in the morning. there’s something about your face that looks so peaceful and soft, that makes him fall in love with you all over again. he loves that you’re the first and last thing he sees every day
☆ contrary to what people might think, but caleb loves being the little spoon and being held. he doesn't do it often, but after long shifts with the fleet, there's nothing he loves more than lying on your chest, listening to your breathing while you stroke his hair. his worries melt away instantly, and he always falls asleep faster than usual—some of his best sleeps, honestly.
☆ caleb, the self-proclaimed claw machine master, is a prime example of suffering from your own success. not only does he have to share the bed with you, but with the 20+ plushies that he won and proudly bragged about. now he’s got his own personal plushie (you) snuggled up next to him, along with twenty others, silently staring into his soul
☆ caleb’s bed head is horrendous, and don't even get me started on his morning breath. you love counting all his cowlicks and taking pictures of his messy hair, holding your nose like you’re disgusted. but when he catches you laughing too long, he shuts you up by peppering your face with kisses before pulling you in for one long, deep kiss that leaves you breathless
☆ caleb is a light sleeper, so when he hears you tossing and turning, struggling to fall asleep, he gently pulls you into his chest and starts telling stories, just like he used to when you were kids. you call it childish, but the sound of his voice, soft and steady, is all it takes for sleep to quickly wash over you. and once your breathing slows down and your body relaxes, he whispers a quiet list of reasons why he loves you—one after the other, just for you
a/n- blessing you with a lot bc i couldnt stop at one. i cant be the only one that uses his secret times as a sleep aid, his voice is so soothing i knock out instantly. short blabber bc i haven't finished half my fics i was meant to post last week. this caleb bday fic has been sitting in my drafts for over a month 🚬🚬
ᯓ★summary: caleb x gn!reader. in your darkest moments, caleb shows you that you don't have to go through it alone (reader has slight avoidant tendencies)
ᯓ★ wc: 1.2k
knock knock
“Hey, pips, look at this new snack I found at the store. Octopus-flavoured chips? I wonder if it’s as good as it sounds. I figured we could try it out,” he says, holding up two plastic bags.
“Maybe later. I’m a bit tired,” you mumble.
You pull the blanket over your head, turning your back to him, hoping he doesn’t notice how nasally you sound.
“I think I’m going to take a nap. Do you mind closing the door on your way out?”
A soft sniffle escapes before you can stop it, and you wipe your nose on the blanket. You pray he didn’t hear, but the sound of the plastic bags hitting the floor tells you otherwise.
“Is everything okay?”
The stinging sensation returns and tears well in your eyes again. You let out a weak laugh, trying to sound casual, “I'm just a bit tired, that's all. It’s been a long day.”
You can’t bring yourself to come up with a better excuse. Right now, you just want to be left alone.
When he doesn’t respond, you think maybe he’s accepted that, until the floor creaks and you hear a pair of footsteps gradually getting closer.
You tug the blanket even tighter, as if the fabric could somehow make you invisible. Through the soft material, you see his shadow pass through the light—his outline bending down until he's level with you.
“Hey,” he says gently. “What's going on?”
You clutch the blanket tighter against your face.
“Not right now, Caleb. Just leave me alone,” you choke out.
You didn't want him to see you like this. Eyes puffy, red nose, and the mess of tears and snot you can’t hold back. This isn't something he can fix. And what use is it to burden him with something you can’t even explain?
No, it’s easier to be alone.
But your heart is hurting, and all you want is for the pain to go away.
Your tears soak the fabric before they can fall.
You feel a hand on your head, gentle but firm, moving in slow circles.
“You can tell me,” he says quietly. “You don't have to go through this alone.”
You shake your head, unable to respond as your sniffles grow louder. Somehow, his comfort only makes it worse. You don't want him to see you like this, to see how weak and pathetic you look.
Yet a part of you aches for him to fix everything. But how can you expect him to fix this, to fix you, when you can't even fix yourself?
“I said go away, Caleb,” you seethe.
You can't hold it back anymore. Everything you’ve been carrying bursts out all at once, and it was ugly. You sob into your side, the pain in your heart and mind, twisting together until you can hardly breathe. Everything hurts, and all you can do is cry.
He doesn’t say a word. The only sound is your hiccups as you tremble, fighting against the overwhelming wave of emotion crashing over you. You don’t know why it hurts so much, or how to stop it. You just want it to stop—to stop hurting.
Your breathing picks up, catching in your throat as if you’re choking on the small pocket of air around you. It feels like someone’s squeezing your heart cruelly and mercilessly.
All you can do is cry, cry out every raw, tangled emotion that's been building inside you for far too long.
When your body begins to tremble, you feel a gentle presence lifting you in the air. There’s a bit of shuffling before you’re slowly brought down into a cage of warmth. His arms and legs wrap around you, shielding you from the rest of the world.
He gently guides your hand to his chest, then adjusts until your head rests in the space above his heart.
You're too tired to react. Your body feels drained, every part of you heavy, so you just sit there, quietly sobbing into his chest.
Time blurs. The two of you stay like that for what feels like forever, your tears soaking through his shirt and the blanket. Through your cries, he rocks you slowly back and forth, never saying a word. He just lets you cry out everything that’s been building up inside.
“You don't have to hide yourself from me,” he murmurs.
“I look like a mess right now,” you hiccup.
“Throughout our entire time together, “ he says softly, “I’ve never once thought that.”
He gently pulls the blanket down and takes out his handkerchief. With careful movements, he wipes your tears, brushing the strands of hair away from your face.
“Do you want to tell me what's going on?” he asks.
You look down at the handkerchief, sniffling. Everything feels tangled, too big to untangle. You don’t even know where to start, and thinking about it only makes the tears sting your eyes again.
“I don't know what to do, Caleb,” you whisper. “I feel so lost.”
“We don't have to do anything,” he says gently. “Just stay here with me. We don't need to figure it out right now.”
His thumb brushes your cheek.
“We can just exist right here, right now,” he murmurs. “Just the two of us.”
You look at him with tears in your eyes.
“Im sorry,” you whisper. “I didn't want to drag you into this mess.” You bury your head in your hands.
He shifts closer, gently moving you until you’re straddling his lap. His hands reach for yours, pulling them away from your face. He smiles softly, his thumbs brushing your cheeks as he wipes away the lingering tears.
“I'll never let you go through anything alone,” he says. “I'll always be here, right by your side.”
His voice is steady, full of warmth.
“You’re kind,” he continues quietly. “Strong. You keep going, even when things are hard. You’re good to people, and you make me want to be better, too. Someone worthy of someone as incredible as you.”
He cups your face.
“You don't have to pretend to be okay,” he says. “It's okay if things are messy. It's alright if you don’t have all the answers right now. You don’t have to keep fighting every battle on your own. We’ll figure it out, together.”
“Whatever’s weighing on your heart, I hope that you'll share some of it with me. You don’t have to carry it by yourself. I'll be with you, no matter what.”
His thumb traces slow circles along your jaw.
“When the tunnel feels dark and you can't find the light,” he murmurs, “Hold onto me, and we'll find it together.” His voice softens even more. “Let me carry you to the end, so we can see that light, side by side.
He kisses your forehead.
“You are enough,” he whispers. “Exactly as you are, in this moment.”
“Whenever you're feeling sad,” he continues, “I want you to call me right away. Nothing in this world means more to me than you.”
He pulls you closer, and you sink into him. His arms wrap around you fully, his touch quieting every overwhelming emotion that’s been clawing at your chest.
“As long as I’m here,” he says softly against your hair, “you’ll never have to face anything alone.”
He stays like that, holding you as if he could shield you from everything, and maybe for now, that’s enough.
a/n- stepping out of hiatus in hopes that this'll bring comfort to someone ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) a bit self indulgent, but sometimes it's easier to imagine caleb reassuring you thru the hard times, and last night i needed a hug from him. i have so many drafts that i never got around to finishing, but i do plan on releasing them (some day). it makes me so happy to see ppl still reading my works (even tho i can't bear to read them anymore).
i hope i was able to make u feel a 'teensy' bit lighter. from one tired soul to another, i hope ‘the darkness in your mind does'nt erase the light you carry in your heart.’ <3
♡ c/w: caleb x inexperienced fem!reader, uhhh he eats you out and fingers you, mentions of reader's insecurities. honestly... this is pretty soft ngl
♡ a/n: my inbox has mad people asking me to do like "loss of virginity" fics for all of the boys... so i'm just gonna do a new series bc y'all know i'm a yapper and there's no way i was fitting all five of them into one. i'll give this one a part two, where yk... they actually fuck LMAO. this is not proofread either i wrote it while i was wine drunk at 2am this morning
“Can I take these off, baby?” he whispered in your ear, immediately noticing how you tensed up when his thumb slid under the waistband of your panties.
“We can stop if you want. I promise I won’t be upset—I’d be happy just to keep kissing you all night, really,” he said before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. You knew he meant it too. He’d say it every time this happened—when it seemed like it was about to happen only for it to end up not happening.
“It’s not that. I want to, really. It’s just…” you struggled to find the words. Caleb suddenly became hyperaware of the fact that he was still on top of you.
“Fuck—I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to like put any pressure on you or anything.” He went to change positions, thinking that he was making you uncomfortable, but you grabbed his wrist to still him.
“You’re not pressuring me. I’m just uhh… nervous, I guess.”
“Nervous about what? Are you afraid it’s gonna hurt or something? I’d go as slow as you wanted me to. I would never want to hurt you.” He was speaking so earnestly, worried that you would ever think that he wouldn’t do his best to take care of you.
“I’m worried that you won’t… you know," you whispered, still not finishing a complete though. That was when he saw the way your body was closing in on itself as he looked you up and down.
“Do you think I won’t like your body or something?” he was dumbfounded, truly confused by the notion. You were too nervous to even agree that he was right, the entire situation making you feel awkward. You were crawling in your skin.
“Look at me.” You were snapped out of your spiraling thoughts when he cupped your face, turning your head so your eyes locked on his. “You are… perfect—the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. How could I not be in love with your body?”
“It’s not that. Thinking I’m beautiful, and like—I don’t know, being turned on by me aren’t the same thing,” your eyes wandered away from his face as he spoke, your stomach in knots from the confession. The air in the room felt thick, like it was choking you—at least that was the case, until you heard Caleb burst out into a fit of laughter.
You were shocked at the reaction. You looked back at him to find him genuinely hysterical.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he gasped out between cackles. You were in disbelief, pushing his chest back, which didn’t move him at all.
“Oh fuck you—get off of me at this point,” you groaned, rolling your eyes.
“No no no wait, I’m sorry. I’m just so confused. That’s what this is about? I haven’t been 'trying' to have sex with you because I didn’t want to pressure you. I was trying to be a gentleman, but it damn sure wasn’t because I didn’t want to see you naked. Why wouldn’t I be turned on by you?”
“I don’t know it’s just like… seeing me naked is different. What if—I don’t know what if you think my vagina looks weird or something.” The use of the formal term almost made him start laughing again.
“Baby, it's not supposed to look one way or another. I'm grown. I'm not thinking about hair or what color it is or anything other than being inside of it, if I'm honest. Look, gimme your hand,” he said, pulling your fingers down between the two of your bodies, pressing your hand against his crotch. Even through his thick sweatpants, you could still feel how hard he was beneath your palm.
“This is how much you turn me on, and you still have all your clothes on. Imagine how bad I’ll want you when I can finally see all of you.” He entangled your fingers with his." Seeing that you still weren't fully convinced, he continued.
“If you don’t want to have sex with me because you’re not ready, then that’s one thing, and I understand, really, I’ll wait as long as you need me to. But if it’s just because you’re worried about what I’ll think about your body, then honestly, that’s insane.” You nodded weakly.
“So tell me... do you want me to take these panties off?” his finger slid under your waistband again. This time, though, you wanted him to keep going.
“Yes,” you whispered. He nodded, moving from between your legs, slowly kissing his way down your body. Your chest was still covered by one of his big t-shirts, but he didn’t try to take it off, only wanting to do what you asked. He just lifted it a little bit, pressing a kiss just below your belly button while his hands snaked down your body.
“Lift up a little for me.” You lifted your butt off of the bed just enough for him to slide your panties all the way down, tossing them across the room. He noticed the way your thighs tensed up now that you were fully bare in front of him.
“You gotta spread your legs for me a little bit. Please, let me see you,” he whispered, gently guiding your thighs apart. You could feel a cold gust of air brush against your pussy as he opened your legs.
“Oh my god… look at you. You’re already so wet, baby. I’m just gonna spread your lips a little—just like this. Fuckkk—this pussy is dripping for me. She’s so fucking pretty too, sweetheart. Can’t believe you were hiding her from me all this time.” His words only made you ache even more, a soft whine escaping your mouth at the sight of him looking at you so directly like this. He thought it was so cute how he could see your little hole clench and open back up while he studied it.
“Aw, I think she likes when I talk to her, huh? She’s begging me to put something inside—is that what you want, baby?” You nodded, a little more excitedly than you wanted to let on.
“Okay, I’ll help you out a little then. Let me just see if I can get you a little wetter first, yeah?” He leaned into you, thumbs holding your lips open, his mouth only an inch away from you before he spoke up again. “Don’t look away.”
That’s when it happened—Caleb licked your pussy. You had dreamed of this moment more times than you could count, but it was somehow better than you could’ve imagined. He moaned at the taste of your juices on his tongue.
“This pussy is so fucking sweet too. You wanna do something for me, baby?” he asked, reaching one of his free hands up to your lips. “Suck on my fingers and get em wet for me. Gotta make sure everything is nice and slippery so my fingers slide in easy, yeah? Come on—open up for me.” He moaned as he felt your lips wrap around two of his fingers, the feeling of your tongue swirling around them getting him painfully hard.
“Fuckkk look at that. You look so sexy like this—the way your legs twitch when I kiss you righttt here.” You bucked against him as he pressed a soft kiss to your clit. “Aw there it is. Is this the spot you want me to lick? Yeah? Right here, baby? What if I suck on it a little bit?” He pulled your clit into his mouth, gently sucking and licking on it as your whines were muffled by his fingers.
“Okay gimme my hand back, baby. I think you’re almost ready—fucking dripping all over the bed already.” He watched in awe as he slid his fingers out of your mouth, a string of saliva keeping the two of you connected. “You did such a good job for me. Got my fingers so wet. I’m gonna try to put one in, okay?” He checked your face for any hesitation, but all he saw was you nodding, wide-eyed. You were one second away from flat-out begging him. He pressed a soft kiss on your thigh, reveling in the way you whined as his soaked fingers slid up and down your slit before pressing his middle finger against your entrance.
“Okay, take a deep breath in for me… good job. Now let it out—“ he whispered, slowly inching the tip of his finger inside of you. He didn’t get very far though, after only getting to his first knuckle, he notice your thighs stiffening beneath him, your pussy clenching too tight for him to move. “Don’t tense up on me, sweetheart. You’ve been doing so good letting me play with you. Try to relax a little bit, don’t focus on my finger right now. Focus on my tongue, yeah?” Once he brought his mouth back down, suckling on your clit, it was indeed, impossible to focus on anything else. You couldn’t help but push yourself against him, his finger now effortlessly sliding the rest of the way in.
“Mmmhmmm shit, look at how my finger disappeared inside of you. This pussy is sucking me in so good. I’m gonna keep sucking your clit, yeah? You wanna do something else for me?” You nodded fervently, eager to do anything else he asked if it meant his long finger would keep sliding in and out of your cunt like this. “Yeah? Lift your shirt up. I wanna watch you play with those tits for me.” He used his free hand to push your shirt up a little further, slightly exposing your stomach. You grabbed it from him, pushing it all the way up—your body now completely naked. Meanwhile, Caleb still had all of his clothes on, and if it hadn’t been for the way he was fucking you with his fingers so slow and deep, that fact probably would’ve bothered you.
“Baby, they’re so fucking pretty. They’re perfect…everything about you is just so damn perfect.” He spoke again, words making your eyes roll into the back of your head, his voice so deep and melodic that anything he said was getting you embarassingly wet. “Pinch your nipples a little—just like that fuckkk, you grip me so tight when you do that.” He, too, was getting embarrassingly turned on, pre-cum soaking his pants just from the sight of watching you toy with your swollen nipples, your pussy fluttering around his finger whenever you gripped them a little too hard.
“I think I can get another finger inside now. You wanna try?” he asked, taking the opportunity to spit on your pussy, letting his saliva drip from your clit, lubing up your entrance just a little more—as if you weren’t wet enough already. In Caleb’s mind, though, it was better safe than sorry. You agreed to his proposal, all of your earlier anxieties completely gone by now.
“You’re—mmh—tighter than I thought. It doesn’t hurt, does it?” He kept checking, noticing the way your face scrunched up a little as he stretched you open with his second finger. You weren’t cringing in pain though—you were getting so desperate to be filled now. Suddenly, the foreplay was becoming more aggravating that you thought it was worth. You needed to feel his cock inside of you now.
“Pleaseeee please…just put it in already.” Your voice broke, the humiliation of having to beg making the words catch in your throat. He just shook his head, though, not even bothering to look away from your cunt to make eye contact anymore.
“Mmmh I don’t think I’m gonna be able to fit, today. You’re just so fucking tight—I can barely get my fingers in and out. Let’s just stay like this, yeah? I don’t wanna hurt you, sweetheart,” he said, outright denying you. You couldn’t even protest, the sensation of his fingers curling inside of you now, thrusting themselves against your g-spot making it hard to think straight—only small whimpers leaving your lips.
“Don’t whine, baby. Be good, just focus on this pussy for me. You’re stretching open so well for me. I just gotta train you a little bit more, huh? You’ll be ready to take my dick in no time.”
“But, I want to make you feel good too, Caleb.”
“Don’t worry about me—I just want you to cum. That’ll make me feel good, yeah?” He meant it too. You could tell just how focused he was. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he tried to study which ways he could move his fingers to make you moan the loudest. You were painfully close, but something was missing. Just as he was about to wrap his lips around your clit again, growing impatient to see you finish, you reached your hand out. Your fingers limply pushed against his forehead, which was slick with sweat.
“Come up here, please…kiss me.”
“Aw, you want a kiss, baby? You’re so cute. You need me to kiss you so you can cum? I can do that for you, sweet girl.” It wasn’t until he brought his face closer to yours, his hand still between your legs, that you noticed that he was even harder than before now. A damp spot on his pants brushed against your leg.
He grabbed your face, capturing your lips in a kiss. His tongue slid in and out of your mouth, with his fingers thrusting into your cunt. The faster he moved, the more he felt you moan into his mouth, your walls spasming against his fingers as he kept pressing against your spot.
“Come on, that’s it. I can feel you clenching again. Think this pussy’s ready to cum for me. Yeah? You wanna cum on my fingers like a good girl?“ He’d finally found the rhythm that made your squeal against him. You were begging again now, pleading for him not to change his pace—he didn’t. Instead, he curled his fingers, as if he was actually trying to dig the cum out of you with his hand.
“Give it to me. Please cum for me, baby. I wanna know what you taste like when you cum. Let me have it. Yeah? Right here? What’s gonna happen if I keep finger-fucking this spot, huh?”
“Fuckkk—I’m gonna cum, Caleb.”
“You are? Well then do it for me. Be a good girl and cum on my fingers. It’s okay—don’t think about it, just let go for me. Let me this pretty pussy cum—pretty fucking virgin pussy cumming for me for the first time. She’s doing such a good job taking my fingers. Just like that—awww there it is, baby.” Your back arched off of the bed, as you came. His mouth moved to pop one of your nipples between his lips while you came around his fingers. He was moaning in time with you, noticing how you got tighter around him whenever you heard him whine into your ear.
“Gooood girl, that’s it. Keep cumming for me,” he whispered against your skin, as he slid his fingers out of you. Instead, using his palm to rub you through your orgasm, letting you soak his entire wrist. Your nipples were bucking against his tongue while you squirmed underneath him.
“It’s okay. I got you… shhh, you’re okay.” When it finally became too much, his touch now overstimulating you, you grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away from your cunt.
“Good job, you came so pretty for me. I bet your cum tastes so sweet too.” As you gasped to catch your breath, you watched as he brought his fingers up to his lips, licking your juices off of his hand.
"I was right," he whispered.
“You sure you don’t want to try? Putting it in, I mean? I feel bad that you didn’t—” he cut you off, immediately seeing what you were worried about.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m just glad you trusted me to touch you. Thank you for letting me be with you like this.” His took his time feathering kisses across your skin, up your chest, across your collarbone, up your neck, until he reached your lips once again—giving you another deep kiss before speaking up.
“Good things take time, yeah? Getting to the point where I can be inside of you, without hurting you, y’know? That would be perfect. So… I’m willing to take the time for that.”
ᯓ★summary: caleb x gn!reader. in your darkest moments, caleb shows you that you don't have to go through it alone or when your heart is feeling heavier than usual
ᯓ★ wc: 1.2k
knock knock
“Hey, pips, look at this new snack I found at the store. Octopus-flavoured chips? I wonder if it’s as good as it sounds. I figured we could try it out,” he says, holding up two plastic bags.
“Maybe later. I’m a bit tired,” you mumble.
You pull the blanket over your head, turning your back to him, hoping he doesn’t notice how nasally you sound.
“I think I’m going to take a nap. Do you mind closing the door on your way out?”
A soft sniffle escapes before you can stop it, and you wipe your nose on the blanket. You pray he didn’t hear, but the sound of the plastic bags hitting the floor tells you otherwise.
“Is everything okay?”
The stinging sensation returns and tears well in your eyes again. You let out a weak laugh, trying to sound casual, “I'm just a bit tired, that's all. It’s been a long day.”
You can’t bring yourself to come up with a better excuse. Right now, you just want to be left alone.
When he doesn’t respond, you think maybe he’s accepted that, until the floor creaks and you hear a pair of footsteps gradually getting closer.
You tug the blanket even tighter, as if the fabric could somehow make you invisible. Through the soft material, you see his shadow pass through the light—his outline bending down until he's level with you.
“Hey,” he says gently. “What's going on?”
You clutch the blanket tighter against your face.
“Not right now, Caleb. Just leave me alone,” you choke out.
You didn't want him to see you like this. Eyes puffy, red nose, and the mess of tears and snot you can’t hold back. This isn't something he can fix. And what use is it to burden him with something you can’t even explain?
No, it’s easier to be alone.
But your heart is hurting, and all you want is for the pain to go away.
Your tears soak the fabric before they can fall.
You feel a hand on your head, gentle but firm, moving in slow circles.
“You can tell me,” he says quietly. “You don't have to go through this alone.”
You shake your head, unable to respond as your sniffles grow louder. Somehow, his comfort only makes it worse. You don't want him to see you like this, to see how weak and pathetic you look.
Yet a part of you aches for him to fix everything. But how can you expect him to fix this, to fix you, when you can't even fix yourself?
“I said go away, Caleb,” you seethe.
You can't hold it back anymore. Everything you’ve been carrying bursts out all at once, and it was ugly. You sob into your side, the pain in your heart and mind, twisting together until you can hardly breathe. Everything hurts, and all you can do is cry.
He doesn’t say a word. The only sound is your hiccups as you tremble, fighting against the overwhelming wave of emotion crashing over you. You don’t know why it hurts so much, or how to stop it. You just want it to stop—to stop hurting.
Your breathing picks up, catching in your throat as if you’re choking on the small pocket of air around you. It feels like someone’s squeezing your heart cruelly and mercilessly.
All you can do is cry, cry out every raw, tangled emotion that's been building inside you for far too long.
When your body begins to tremble, you feel a gentle presence lifting you in the air. There’s a bit of shuffling before you’re slowly brought down into a cage of warmth. His arms and legs wrap around you, shielding you from the rest of the world.
He gently guides your hand to his chest, then adjusts until your head rests in the space above his heart.
You're too tired to react. Your body feels drained, every part of you heavy, so you just sit there, quietly sobbing into his chest.
Time blurs. The two of you stay like that for what feels like forever, your tears soaking through his shirt and the blanket. Through your cries, he rocks you slowly back and forth, never saying a word. He just lets you cry out everything that’s been building up inside.
“You don't have to hide yourself from me,” he murmurs.
“I look like a mess right now,” you hiccup.
“Throughout our entire time together, “ he says softly, “I’ve never once thought that.”
He gently pulls the blanket down and takes out his handkerchief. With careful movements, he wipes your tears, brushing the strands of hair away from your face.
“Do you want to tell me what's going on?” he asks.
You look down at the handkerchief, sniffling. Everything feels tangled, too big to untangle. You don’t even know where to start, and thinking about it only makes the tears sting your eyes again.
“I don't know what to do, Caleb,” you whisper. “I feel so lost.”
“We don't have to do anything,” he says gently. “Just stay here with me. We don't need to figure it out right now.”
His thumb brushes your cheek.
“We can just exist right here, right now,” he murmurs. “Just the two of us.”
You look at him with tears in your eyes.
“Im sorry,” you whisper. “I didn't want to drag you into this mess.” You bury your head in your hands.
He shifts closer, gently moving you until you’re straddling his lap. His hands reach for yours, pulling them away from your face. He smiles softly, his thumbs brushing your cheeks as he wipes away the lingering tears.
“I'll never let you go through anything alone,” he says. “I'll always be here, right by your side.”
His voice is steady, full of warmth.
“You’re kind,” he continues quietly. “Strong. You keep going, even when things are hard. You’re good to people, and you make me want to be better, too. Someone worthy of someone as incredible as you.”
He cups your face.
“You don't have to pretend to be okay,” he says. “It's okay if things are messy. It's alright if you don’t have all the answers right now. You don’t have to keep fighting every battle on your own. We’ll figure it out, together.”
“Whatever’s weighing on your heart, I hope that you'll share some of it with me. You don’t have to carry it by yourself. I'll be with you, no matter what.”
His thumb traces slow circles along your jaw.
“When the tunnel feels dark and you can't find the light,” he murmurs, “Hold onto me, and we'll find it together.” His voice softens even more. “Let me carry you to the end, so we can see that light, side by side.
He kisses your forehead.
“You are enough,” he whispers. “Exactly as you are, in this moment.”
“Whenever you're feeling sad,” he continues, “I want you to call me right away. Nothing in this world means more to me than you.”
He pulls you closer, and you sink into him. His arms wrap around you fully, his touch quieting every overwhelming emotion that’s been clawing at your chest.
“As long as I’m here,” he says softly against your hair, “you’ll never have to face anything alone.”
He stays like that, holding you as if he could shield you from everything, and maybe for now, that’s enough.
a/n- stepping out of hiatus in hopes that this'll bring comfort to someone ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) a bit self indulgent, but sometimes it's easier to imagine caleb reassuring you thru the hard times, and last night i needed a hug from him. i have so many drafts that i never got around to finishing, but i do plan on releasing them (some day). it makes me so happy to see ppl still reading my works (even tho i can't bear to read them anymore).
i hope i was able to make u feel a 'teensy' bit lighter. from one tired soul to another, i hope ‘the darkness in your mind does'nt erase the light you carry in your heart.’ <3
cw: gn! reader (reader is implied short though). reader is an outcast and has plenty of mental issues and inexperience. reader is also pretty shy. self-deprication. implied suicidal ideation. slightly suggestive (mention of moaning from a character on tv. talks of sex and implied masturbation). angst at start but fluff after (then small angst again before fluff after lol).
a/n: for once I wanted to see a reader in these 'caleb android' fanfics that I could actually relate to...so here we are :)
word count: 2k+
You’ve been a fan of Love and Deepspace for ten years now.
At the beginning of the year 2033, Infold announced that Love and Deepspace would officially go offline by the end of January…before announcing the release of android companions of the love interests by the end of the year.
Artificial Intelligence and Robotic Engineering had quickly grown in the last ten years, making android companions or humanoid robots possible in your lifetime (or at least, when you’re still fairly young and not on your deathbed).
Of course, you definitely did not have the money to afford them. They were cheap for androids, though, which made people initially skeptical of the quality. Most androids ran from well over 100k, but these were only priced at 10k. When they released sometime around Christmas, you watched in envy as everyone else got to have the boys in their home, but not you.
You started saving up as soon as they were announced, but you wouldn’t be able to afford these things until at least another three to five years. You only had a job in Data Entry and was still living with your dad as a 27 year old (who you barely even saw anyway, because he was always stuck in Hawaii as an Executive Chef for some Michelin restaurant).
A couple of months later, and it was now February. Just a few weeks from now and you’d be 28. Nothing to brag about, especially when you’re living in an apartment that isn’t yours, with no one to celebrate your birthday with besides your parents, who will just pester you the whole time about why you haven’t met someone yet, or why you’re not married, or why you barely leave the house-
You exhale, the shower water hitting your face as you try to just breathe.
You were never fortunate enough to keep anyone in your life. The longest relationship you’ve had only lasted a year.
And well, you never had a romantic relationship at all with someone. Not even a hookup or a “situationship”.
The only person that ever made you feel genuinely loved was Caleb, one of the love interests in Love and Deepspace. So when they announced that he’d officially be an android companion, you were excited. Excited that the love of your life, even if he wasn’t exactly real, could live underneath the same roof as you.
But you only had $500 saved.
You sigh, walking out of the bathroom and inside your room.
If only you weren’t such a coward. Your misery would’ve ended a long time ago…
You’re asleep, drool escaping from your lips and onto the pillow below you. Drool that definitely wasn’t from good sleep, but rather allergies, as when you suddenly awoken from your sleep by the banging of your front door, you could barely breathe with your nose clogged up.
…Why is someone at your door at 8a.m.?
You quickly panic, but the sound of your dad calling you grabs your attention.
“Hey kid!” He exclaims over the phone. “Happy early birthday! I’m sorry that I won’t be there to celebrate with you this year, but I’ve got a surprise for you!”
You hear another knock at the door, heart still racing.
”Me and your mom saw that Caleb robot you’ve wanted on sale for Valentine’s Day, sooo we decided to buy it for you!”
Huh?
Another knock on the door.
You rush to the front door with the phone still in your hand, not caring about your attire or disheveled hair when the one thing that’s on your mind right now is Caleb. You hear your dad say something about “keeping him on the phone” and your safety, but you barely register his words as your heart pounds loudly in your chest.
You fling the front door open. The delivery men stare at you in shock before the one in front lets out a cough.
“Did you order an ‘X-02 Companion’?” He asks, and suddenly you’re hyper aware of your appearance. You flush, hearing your dad yapping about something over the phone. You glance down at the floor and nod shyly. The man shoves a clipboard with a pen in your face.
“We need your signature.” You nod, writing your signature down on the paper with trembling, sweaty hands. As soon as you return the clipboard, the men get to work on bringing Caleb inside.
A whole six foot something box soon towers over you. The men open the box for you, probably assuming you’d be too short to unbox him yourself.
And there he is. Caleb, listless, standing right in front of you, waiting for you to power him on.
The men dismiss themselves before leaving the two of you alone, and you quickly thank your dad before getting off the phone with him as well.
You check the manual that the men gave you, setting Caleb up in the app and quickly giving as much information as the questionnaire asks you before finally being asked to power him on…behind his ear.
His ear that you can’t even reach.
You rush over to the dining room and grab a chair. You pray that you won’t fall and break a leg as you reach for his ear, patting your fingers around the realistic skin until you feel the button you’re looking for.
His eyes snap open, and you damn near fall out of your chair as his galaxy eyes soon meet yours.
“Woah! Careful there pipsqueak!” His hand quickly moves to your back, catching you from falling and pulling you closer to his chest. It’s weird…he has a heartbeat, or maybe it’s yours that you’re feeling right now. You gawk at him. The words you want to say to him won’t come out.
Caleb smiles and chuckles at you before guiding you back down on the floor.
“Anxious? I know how bad your anxiety can get.” His hand moves to caress your cheek, and you try your hardest not to breakdown right there. “It’s okay. Take all the time you need to process things. I’ll be here.”
The first tear falls down your cheeks, then the second, and soon you’re sobbing in front of Caleb, covering your face with your hands as you apologize profusely to him.
“Why are you apologizing?” He kneels in front of you, one of his hands grabbing onto one of your wrists. “You don’t have to hide in front of me. Let me see you.” You hesitate before removing your hands from your face. You must look ugly to him. Your hair messy with dried up drool on your face, and now you’re crying hysterically. But Caleb still smiles at you, maybe even a bit wider once you reveal yourself to him.
“Beautiful,” he mumbles, causing your heart to skip a beat. Your lips part, maybe to say something self-deprecating or a small ‘thank you’, you weren’t sure yet, but he quickly stops you with words of his own.
“Can I…kiss you?”
You damn near jolt at hearing those words. Kiss? You? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet, and this handsome android-man is asking you for a kiss, even in this state?
You stutter, barely even forming comprehensible sentences before finally letting out a sigh and mumbling a quiet “sure”. What were you so worked up about? Caleb is programmed to be affectionate. This is normal.
But it sure does feel nice to feel wanted for once…
Caleb lets out a hum, inching closer to you before finally placing a kiss on the cheek with the dry drool and tears. Your cheeks flush, and you can barely even think straight as the feeling of his lips on your skin drives you crazy. He moves to the corner of your lips, pressing a kiss there too, before pausing and glancing up at you, and you could’ve sworn his eyes darkened a bit.
“…Thank you,” he backs away, his eyes lingering on your lips before meeting your gaze once more. “You’re sweet just like I imagined you to be.”
Life with Caleb has been easier than you imagined it to be.
He cooks and grocery shops for you now, saving you an extra ten dollars or so with having groceries be delivered to your door.
He goes to the nearest Café every morning to bring you the iced coffee that you enjoy as you work from home. He also checks up on you every hour as you work, spending the rest of the time you’re not available cleaning or focusing on his own hobbies.
You’re happier now. This happiness you’re feeling is unfamiliar to you, and sometimes you’re unsure if the life that you have now is even real. But every time Caleb approaches you from behind and wraps his arms around your waist before pressing a kiss into your hair, you realize that he is real, and that you’re not dreaming.
You’re finally at peace with yourself.
Or well, most of the time.
The two of you sit beside each other on the couch with a few snacks in hand. You’ve been introducing him to video games and anime you’d think he'd like for quite some time now, and the two of you decide to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion after you got done with the last anime.
Caleb was glued to the screen the entire time, and every time you’d ask if he was bored or if he wanted to watch something else, he'd shake his head, not even bothering to look at you.
It was cute, seeing him so passionate about something. You shrug, nuzzling your head against his arm as the two of you continue to watch the anime on the tv.
And then the sex scene happened. God, you forgot about the sex scene.
You shift and squirm beside him, feeling quite uncomfortable with the moaning coming from the female character. But Caleb just…stares.
“S-Sorry…”
Caleb looks down at you, raising a brow. “For what?”
“It must be a-awkward, right? I should’ve warned you…” Caleb stares at you for a moment, and then it’s almost like something clicks, because he smiles as he wraps his hand around your shoulder.
“I see. You’re just embarrassed because sex is unfamiliar to you, right?”
You choke on air.
You attempt to squirm away from him, but he only pulls you closer. He lowers his head, his lips grazing your ear as he whispers very lowly,
”If you want, I could help you out with that…” His hand on your shoulder slides down to your waist before resting on your thigh. Caleb had been a bit…bold before with you, but he never was this forward before.
”We could go slow. We don’t have to rush." Your face scrunches up with embarrassment, knowing that you’re probably soaked in sweat by now. Caleb scoffs when he sees your expression, poking your nose with his finger. “I’m just messing with ya’ pips. Relax.”
You let out a long exhale before scooting away from him, pouting at his teasing. Caleb laughs for awhile, not even focusing on the screen anymore.
“But yknow…if you ever want to-“
“Caleb!” You jump up from the couch and walk over to your room. He gets up to walk after you, still laughing at your bashfulness.
“I’m just saying. You did sound pretty frustrated last night, so-“
You whip around, staring daggers into his soul which finally shuts him up. You slam the door behind you, slowly sliding down from the door to the floor as you try to relax and control your heavy breathing.
You finally got used to his physical touch and affection, but the thought of going further seemed impossible for you still.
But you can’t deny how much you want him.
Caleb knocks on the door a few moments later, but your heart is still beating against your chest.
“Hey pips…I’m sorry, okay? Please don’t be mad at me…”
And how could you be mad at him for too long? Especially when he greets you with those puppy eyes of his as you open the door, or when he pulls you into a hug and nuzzles against your neck.
“Let’s go finish the anime before midnight, okay?”
