#sirpxntious

[the-smallest-star]

@hclluvahctel I WANNA SEE IT @sirpxntious ((Give us the criiiiinge)) @secr3trings But what if I like cringe, what then, huh? i wanna see 🥺🙏🏾 @hellshoard give it to me hannah @hxllshotel EMBRACE THE CRINGE! BE FREE! @bubblyroleplayingworld show us the cringe! be free!

//YOU'RE ALL ENABLERS, FINE BUT THERES GOING TO BE LOTS COMING YOU POOPS

[velvetwarfare]

It would’ve been a peaceful afternoon — if not for the vampiress popping out of nowhere, dramatically bowing before beaming up at the other,

“ DEAREST DARLING ~ ! You look like someone who would desire a DARING touch to their scaly physique! Not to say you are not dashing enough already, because my, what a lovely leetle creature you are! “

Gotta butter them up first. Betty casually pulls out a glowing elixir from her bag, swishing the cerulean liquid around like wine.

“ I am an elixir brewer, you see. The finest of potions, guaranteed. This one here is my NEWEST formula — meant to strengthen the skeletal structure and give one a good shine that is sure to improve anyone’s popularity with appearance!

Trust me, I tested it just a bell ago! “

That’s a lie, she never tests any of her potions. But she’s going to play it off as truthfully as possible to win him over.

“ Would you make my perfect day in Hell by trying it out ~ ? Oh, how happy you would make me! “

@sirpxntious

[hashtag-bitch]

@sirpxntious / sc

"Y'know, I'm surprised they didn't just fuckin' kill you when you blew your cover." Velvette chuckled as she folded her arms over her chest. "I knew that plan wasn't gonna work but Voxxy insisted... how's little miss princesses shit hole treatin' you then?"

[velvetwarfare]

Surprises don’t often surprise her anymore. Usually, she’s the one dead eyeing someone in their sleep due to her condition preventing her from actually resting.

So when the two made stone-cold eye contact from the entrance to her bedroom — with her hanging upside down from a pipe, mind you — the vampire only dropped her bottle of wine on the floor in slight astonishment. She looked disheveled — and upon closer inspection, that bottle was not her first. The other stray glasses pointed more toward a fifth.

“ Huh. I could have sworn reptiles actually need their beauty sleep. Do you just chug energy drinks all day to stay afloat? “

Slurred words left the woman, her Slavic accent stronger when intoxicated. What should have been a badass flip to right-side up ended with her face planting dead on the floor below, her lower half comedically dangling over her upper half.

“ …Mm. Go back t’bed, Pensh’. “

@sirpxntious

[the-smallest-star]

@sirpxntious started following

"... dude, one of your egg guys was stuck in the blender... maybe not the best place for them." Gritt ushered the little thing back to Pentious, all he'd wanted was to grab a drink and head back upstairs... but the little egg's flailing legs had caught his attention at the time.

[the-smallest-star]

HELP PENTIOUS WOULD ABSOLUTELY DO THAT TO GRITT

//CONSIDERING GRITT OFTEN REFUSES TO SLEEP OR FALLS ASLEEP IN RANDOM SPACES... THATS HILLARIOUS

[velvetwarfare]

[ Cont. ]

Oh no. Here comes the waterworks.

“ What? You do not like my affections? OR DO YOU JUST NOT LIKE ME?!

I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL FROM THE DAY I FIRST TRIED TO POISON YOU WITH MY AMAZING ELIXIRS! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DEADLY LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WHERE I PLAYED IT OFF TO BE AN ACCIDENT AND THEN NURSED YOU BACK TO HEALTH AS IF I WAS NOT THE PERPETRATOR TO BEGIN WITH!

YOU HATE ME. “

@sirpxntious

[infernal-feminae]

AS SAID BY THANE KRIOS 

@sirpxntious said: "I'm... ashamed." ((For Charlie?))

"Hey, it's okay, Pentious! The fact that you're showing remorse is a really good sign!" Charlie placed her hands on the serpent's shoulders, offering him a sympathetic smile. "But let's maybe, um, try to work on not blowing holes in the hotel...? I think Alastor is getting a bit...peeved about having to use his magic to constantly fix them."