I know 2020 has sucked for a lot of people this year and I know I’m just one of millions and my trials might be small compared to others but I don’t know how much more I can take.
These past few weeks I’ve lost an aunt who was more like a grandma, my father has been in the hospital for over 5 weeks now with no cure for what he has, mom has broken her ankle, and my sister has had surgery making her unable to walk. The last two weeks I’ve been trying to play full time job, full time college student, full time care taker, all the while being a therapist for my family who is going through so much right now. Then to top it all off today I shoved my foot so far in my mouth with a close friend that I’m sure I’ve lost that relationship forever as well.
Most silly of all, I’ve gained over 35 lbs this year making me hate my body every day to where I will only look in a mirror to do my makeup or check an outfit. I’ve bought all new pants and all new shirts because the old ones just don’t fit and it’s both physically and financially exhausting. I’m so afraid to work out as well with covid and some other health things that are going on with me personally. So don’t mind me while I starve for a little. I’m gonna be cranky.
I continue to work a job I hate as well. Every single day I hate coming in and doing it but it pays the bills and college so I can’t quit. I need to move to another role in the company but I don’t feel like they will let me. This job is not the role they said it would be and gets no respect at all for how hard we work in it.
I think it’s time to run away and live in a tree in the middle of nowhere. I haven’t seen most of my friends in months anyways because of covid so I just feel lost anyways.
Ps please don’t message me. I don’t think I can take my phone blowing up rn and I’m probably gonna turn it off anyways.