Do I Look Like Him? || Chap. II
[Dc x Neglected!Batsis!Surgeon!Reader x PJO]
Word count: 6.6k
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'Honestly when will she come back?' Damian grumbled as he did NOT swivel in the chair at her desk.
He had already looked at the set up of her desk, actually he looked at her entire room already. The wall of medals and blue ribbons as well as certificates and the display of trophies right next to it were the most interesting parts. Other than that it seemed pretty empty, as if they stayed here it definitely wouldn't be for long.
Just as he was about to reach for a piece of paper that had been left on her desk he flinched and immediately pulled his hand away when he heard voices outside. He took a deep breath in and exhaled, mentally preparing himself to ask what he wanted to.
Wait.
Voices? Why are there more than one?
He got closer to the door and pressed his ear against it to hear.
"The stunt you pulled at the gala was unacceptable and leaving with no warning right after—"
"So what did you expect me to do? Just take those disgusting comments from that man?"
"I expected that the second oldest of this family to at least have some decency and restraint!"
Damian flinched behind the door as he heard his father yell. He never yelled, usually when he got mad he would only use his infamous bat tone.
He was even more taken aback when the next thing he heard was laughter, actual loud laughter. Has he ever heard such laughter from his sister before?
"Family? Since when have any of you considered me as family?"
Damian froze. His blood running cold at her words and the tone she said it in. He didn't have to see her face to sense the underlying anger in her words. But... They were family weren't they? They had the same blood running through their veins. She was the only one out of his siblings that had the same blood as him—
He was only brought out of his thoughts when he heard the handle of the door turning, immediately jumping and going as far as he could to make it seem like he wasn't eavesdropping.
He watched as she opened the door, immediately closing it with a sigh and leaning against the door as if she was done with life. She was.
She looked up not long after and he heard her voice, "What is it this time, demon spawn? Going to make fun of me again?”
Ugh. He always hated how both Jason and her called him that. He simply scoffed and turned his head to the side, “Tch. I don’t have time for that.”
"Then what are you here for?"
He already decided to come this far, there's no going back, "I want to volunteer at your hospital."
.
.
.
He really didn't like the long silence that ensued.
"What." Was all she said after that long silence.
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She stared at the boy in front of her. The same boy that used to ridicule her. She knows why, of course she did. Did they really think they could hide the fact that they were the bats? Just because she didn't say anything didn't mean she was clueless.
No. It wasn't just him. All of them excluded her, like they all knew a secret she wasn't apart of. Which was true to be honest. Not like she wanted to be apart of that circus anyways.
Back when she first came into the family after she was found out to be Bruce's she was extremely hopeful. She thought she had finally found her family, family was supposed to be warm and loving, right? Hah. Pathetic.
Back then it was just Dick. She was barely acknowledged. While both him and Dick were talking at the dinner table she tried to join in but she only got a short sentence in response before they talked over her again.
She tried asking her father to read her bedtime stories but she was always told "Next time." or "I'm busy." It wasn't long before she found out why Bruce would always say no. She saw them entering the Batcave through the study.
But still. She tried. She tried to be enough for him to acknowledge.
Martial arts. Swimming. Fencing. Ballet. Science competitions. Robotic competitions. Art competitions. Shooting. Archery. She had gained so many accomplishments. Earned so many blue ribbons. So many gold medals. So many gold trophies. First place in anything she attempted, even graduating from High School as a valedictorian at twelve. And yet nothing.
Even Wayne Tech had acknowledged her creation as first in their competition and she had gotten a full ride scholarship so why? Why was nothing enough to make him notice her?
At one point there was entire wall of blue ribbons and golden medals in her room with a wall of shiny gold trophies right next to it. Though there was one that always had more displays than any other. Archery. When she first picked up a bow it felt as though she was made to wield it.
She had so many achievements, so many people praising her when she went to the galas that the Waynes would go to and yet why would those praises matter when she couldn't even get a "Good Job" from the one she desperately wanted to hear from.
As the years passed and her accomplishments only increased she was known as 'The Perfect Wayne' along with many other titles. Sure she had a temper but that was overshadowed by the sheer amount of achievements she had earned.
And as they grow so did the envy from her siblings. Siblings? Could she call them that when they barely even talked? She was basically The Golden Child after all. Though she would disagree with that, if she really was the golden child that meant she would've gotten some attention from Wayne.
She didn't even know when it went from "Dad" to "Father" to "Bruce" to "Wayne".
She had learnt by then that it was no use trying to engage in conversation with any of them since they barely even gave her one sentence replies.
Even Jason. She could still remember the times where she would talk with him for hours on end about the novels they read, it was the type of memory that would make a bittersweet smile on her face. She hadn't exchanged a proper conversation with him ever since he came back.
When she first saw him bleeding out in Crime Alley as Red Hood she knew. She knew it was her baby brother. And she patched him up before he left without a word while she sobbed and asked why he didn't come back home.
Every meeting after that was the same that she couldn't bring herself to try anymore. She used to go to Crime Alley because she knew he wouldn't properly treat his wounds, nowadays she would drive past the district.
Though Damian... He didn't look at her like the rest of them did. Sure the envy was there but it was something more complicated than that. But then again she assumed it was always more complicated than that with this family.
He would always mutter 'disgraceful' under his breath and ridicule her and yet his eyes seemed to always follow her during the rare times she was at the manor. What a contradiction he was.
"Uh... Yeah no." She said as she walked towards her desk.
"Why not!" Damian fumed as he turned to to her.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror she had on her desk, "I don't exactly want to bring a kid with me to work."
"I'm not a kid!" He shouted, why does everybody always call him a kid!
Her eyes flickered to meet his through the mirror, "Yes you are. Aren't you like in middle school?"
"I trained as—" Damian only realised his slip of the tongue after she cut him off.
"So what?" She cut him off, "It doesn't change how old you are."
"I'm much more mature than the average child!"
She turned around and looked at him, "...I don't doubt that." She said as she walked to the window.
"What?" Damian was taken off guard, he was expecting to have had to yell back.
She leaned against the wall and sighed, not expecting to have this conversation tonight or... ever. Her eyes held some kind of emotion that Damian couldn't understand, "You don't have to grow up fast. You don't have to prove anything to anyone."
His eyebrows furrowed as she walked towards him, "This is your life, kid. Not anyone else's. So don't chase anyone's expectations but yours." She knelt done in front of him on one knee, looking at him eye to eye, "Do what you want while you're still young. Play around, nobody is expecting you to be perfect, and if they are then fuck them, because you're a kid, you're supposed to make mistakes, to have space to learn, to have fun."
"Because if not now then when? There's one thing in life you can never get back, kid. And that's time. That's what makes life so precious." Damian didn't like how it felt as though she could see right through him, as if she knew what he has needed to hear for years, "Sacrificing your own happiness just to appease someone else is a sad way to live. You can barely call that living."
"If not you'll grow up to regret it. Trust me I would know." Her eyes flickered to her achievement wall behind her, "Don't waste your childhood."
She stood up, walked towards her window and opened it then turning to Damian, "Think about what I said." Before she jumped out, because she was not staying in that place more than she has to.
He grumbled as he looked back to the desk, picking up the piece of paper he wanted to grab from before only to realise she had written something on it.
Next Wednesday, 8 A.M. Meet me in the garage. Already bailed you out from school.
When did she even write that?
Damian huffed but he kept the paper.
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When Wednesday rolled around Alfred knocked on Damian's door since the boy hadn't come down for breakfast yet, to his surprise he found the boy looking through his closet quite frantically.
"Young master Damian? You're not already dressed?"
Damian almost jumped at the sound of Alfred's voice. Ugh. He had been trained as an assassin since before he could walk he should've been able to sense Alfred's presence or at least have heard the door open. What had gotten into him?
Damian straightened his posture, "Pennyworth. Y/n is bringing me to her workplace today. She said she has already contacted my school."
Alfred raised an eyebrow, "Mistress Wayne?"
"Yes. I'm trying to find a suitable outfit to wear." Damian said before going back to rummaging in what used to be his very neat wardrobe, though it's current state was... not optimal.
Alfred coughed, his expression returning to normal "I don't think Mistress Wayne particularly cares about what you wear, Young Master."
Damian turned to the butler, "Y/n Wayne, The Queen Of Gotham, the woman who single handedly led trends for the past decade, doesn't care about what someone dresses like?"
Alfred picked up the articles of clothing that had fallen to the ground, "Yes but I think that only applies to those that has... come of age."
"A simple attire might be the best suited." Alfred said as he took out a forest green sweater vest, a white dress shirt and grey relaxed slacks before he bowed, "I'll take my leave now. Breakfast is already on the table for you, young master."
Damian stared at the outfit Alfred had placed out as he heard the door closing, contemplating whether to wear it or just find a new outfit. He finally relented after a few minutes.
He put on the outfit before going to gel down his hair. Ugh. His cowlicks were always so insufferable to deal with.
He ate his breakfast in silence, the only sound in the dining room was the sound of his foot repeatedly tapping the ground. Once he was done he rushed walked to the garage. He had a tight grip on the strap of his messenger bag that he had slipped his green notebook into.
When he arrived he already saw that iconic black and purple convertible in the garage, a figure leaning against said car.
She was wearing a black turtleneck, black formal trousers and completed with a long black coat. She was likely prepared for autumn since it will soon be in full swing. She exuded an aura of undisputed authority, the type that didn't allow any sort of complaints.
Even with the weather getting colder it seemed she was still enjoying her iced coffee, "You're here. Get in."
Damian took a breath in before he got into her convertible. She followed suit, starting the car and changing the song to "Riptide" by Vance Joy before driving off.
Once they exited the garage she could feel the cold breeze, "Nothing like the cold wind of Gotham to wake you up." Not that she really slept but you get what she meant.
As the wind blew against her face she hummed, "Have you gotten used to the Gotham air yet? I heard you used to live in the mountain ranges. The shift from there to here must be quite a whiplash."
Damian's face scrunched up, "Indeed. Gotham is very... dirty."
"Yeah. I remember every time I came back from my summer camp the change of environment was very apparent." She said, a rare fond smile on her face, at least it was rare to him.
Though Damian was confused. Wasn't summer camp for unruly children? From what he knew Y/n was the perfect picture child so why should she be in a summer camp?
"Summer camp?" He asked.
"Yeah. Once you do everything you can in this city you get kind of bored, you know? I made the best memories of my life at Summer Camp." She said, not taking her eyes off the road.
Damian furrowed his brows, the best memories of her life are at camp? Not any of the multitude of achievements she has received? He didn't understand her, the most simple things seemed to bring her more joy than anything else she has achieved. Is that just how prodigies like her think?
Her eyes flickered to the boy for a split second before focusing on the road again, "You think it's weird, right? Out of all the things I've experienced summer camp is the happiest?"
Perhaps her past self would've agreed with Damian. If she didn't do it for the validation then what would be the point of doing it? She could see what kind of child Damian was, he was putting up a front because he believed he shouldn't be weak, he was trying to reach an impossible standard, he was trying to prove himself.
She ignored the shadow of a young girl that seemed to be behind him.
"One day you'll find people that makes you forget all the worries of life and remind you to live in the moment." She said as she drove, the wind blowing through her hair. "It's important that you find those people."
The rest of the drive was silent until they reached the hospital's parking. She got her keys and her coffee before exiting her car, "Today is a more chill day. I'll be having some consultations then oversee a few surgeries. You can join me since we'll be watching from the outside through a window. You might've heard of it but it's called smart glass."
Damian grabbed his messenger bag as he got out of the car as well, "It's like a one way mirror."
"Yes. Exactly that actually. Some surgeons may feel pressured knowing that their higher ups are watching so instead I had smart glass installed." She scanned her card to enter a private elevator lobby.
"We'll go to my office first." They walked into the elevator and went to the highest level.
As they both walked out of the elevator they heard someone calling her name.
She smiled as she saw the blonde haired ball of sunshine, "Will." She greeted before looking to the other person next to him who was a deep contrast to the former, "Hey Nico."
"Who's the mini one?" Will smiled at Damian who in returned scowled.
"Mini? I'm not—" Y/n smiled as she covered the boy's mouth.
"This is Damian, my younger brother. Damian, this is Doctor Solace, our chief medical officer and this is Doctor Di Angelo, our chief forensic pathologist and Solace's boyfriend."
Will paused, muttering under his breath, "Brother, huh..." He was too quiet for the others to notice his change of expression.
"I see you finally brought something that doesn't contain over five hundred milligrams of caffeine." Nico joked as he waved at the boy.
Damian still had a scowl on his face but he felt as though something was very familiar about the black hair one.
"You never know." She shrugged with a teasing smile, "Maybe he's fifty percent caffeine."
"He's your brother so I wouldn't put it past him." Nico let out an amused scoff.
Y/n simply rolled her eyes before looking back at Damian, "Today is bring your thing to work day. So I brought you. Solace brought Di Angelo and vice versa. Not like it's different any other day though. They're always glued to each other."
"You're just jealous that your partner isn't—" Nico was cut off by Y/n slapping her palm against his back.
She looked over to Damian, expecting to see a look that said he was not amused but she was shocked to see him looking puzzled instead, she furrowed her eyebrows before quickly putting back on a smile.
“Anyways. I’ll see you later, Will, Nico.” They both nodded and waved the two off as Y/n brought Damian to her office.
The office was very luxurious. The windows stretched from the floor to the ceiling, overseeing the entirety of Gotham. She had a wall which was just a shelf filled with books.
The desk was placed so her back would be to the window. To the side there was a glass table with a couch and three other chairs. There seemed to be a different room to the side, probably a bathroom.
Y/n slid her fingers against her desk, "What's wrong? You've been pretty quiet."
Damian looked up to her, "You said they were boyfriends."
Y/n furrowed her eyebrows, "Yes?"
"But they're both boys."
.
.
.
Y/n Wayne was extremely skilled in hiding her true emotions, though this was one of the rare times it took everything in her to stop herself from gaping. "Uh... Well..." She really didn't think she would ever have to this conversation again.
She really didn't know he hadn't learned this lesson— if you could call it that, yet considering the family he comes from. Todd and Harper— wait no she doesn't think they know that they're dating. Drake and the older Kent? Nope. They were too oblivious to notice they like each other. Uh... Surely Grayson and West? No wait Grayson too many commitment issues for that. Wayne?
...
Hah. Yeah no. Who was she kidding? That man can't hold a relationship for more than a week. Maybe that's where Grayson got those commitment issues from.
She really can't blame the boy for his lack of knowledge in the emotional sector. Nobody in that family is emotionally competent.
"Love knows no bounds, kid. You can't control what your heart wants, no matter how much you want to. I don't see anything wrong with two people of the same gender liking each other as long as it's healthy." Yeah... A bit ironic that she was the one saying that.
Ugh. She was having flashbacks to this same conversation already. While she was contemplating how to continue the conversation her pager suddenly let out a ping.
Her eyes widened as she saw the string of text. "Fuck. Damnit. Today was supposed to be a chill day—"
She was already taking off her heels, "Sorry kid. We'll finish this conversation later. Emergency!"
She took off her coat and grabbed the white one instead and went inside her private bathroom in the office, "You can take a look at my notes on the desk first!"
He looked at her desk and indeed saw a very thick red binder, "What? But wasn't I supposed to observe the surgeries?" Damian shouted so she could hear him through the door.
Y/n came out of that bathroom with scrubs on in record time, "Not this one, demon spawn. This one might be too much for you."
Damian stretched out his hand to reach for her, catching her wrist, "No it won't! I'm not a child!"
Y/n turned back instantly, she barely controlled her instincts to shove the child off her, but when she looked at the young boy her expression changed for a split second, her eyes widening and holding some kind of emotion that held a lot of untold words, short enough that Damian didn't realise.
"I'm not a child!" The sound of a young girl's voice, too knowing for her age echoed through her mind.
She let out a sigh and relented, "Fine. Follow behind me. You're not allowed in the operating rooms."
The emergency room was bustling. Never a good sign.
"He's losing too much blood! Get him to—"
The noise around him seemed muffled as Damian watched as the same kind blonde haired doctor he saw earlier was shouting orders with such a firm tone as different patients were rushed into different operating rooms. It almost seemed like he was an entirely different person than the one he met just now.
"Solace. Rundown. Now." Damian only snapped out of it when he saw her, his sister, looking so much different as she took over issuing the orders.
He wondered how she remained so level headed and calm in such a chaotic situation. He doubt even his father could keep the same level of composure as she did.
Her figure seemed so reassuring, the type that eased others nerves, like she was the pillar that ensured that nothing falls apart. And everyone seemed to trust her without a hint of doubt too as they followed her orders to a tee.
Though his eyes trailed from her to the patients in the being moved and his heart sank. They were all children. No, not only that but they were wearing the same uniform that he would have if he went to school today. He saw classmates, upperclassmen and even children from the elementary sector of Gotham Academy.
He felt like throwing up.
Why? He had seen so many dead bodies. He had killed so many. And yet why does the sight of the emergency room being filled with children make him so nauseated?
No. Worst of all the children looked as if they had a permanent grin on their face. He could instantly tell which rogue had gotten the children, one of the only rogues that would even target children.
He was so out of it that he didn't even notice that his phone was constantly vibrating.
He could only watch as his sister went from room to room, operating on as many children as physically possible.
His face paled as he saw that doctor, no, the forensic pathologist from earlier enter one of the rooms. Then another. And another.
It was then he remembered why the black haired male seemed so familiar. He had seen him talking to Commissioner Gordon before when he was Robin. Right. Forensic pathologists did autopsies for crime victims as well.
Damian's train of thought was broken when he saw him enter the rooms of classmates, peers, people he saw in the halls, even those he never talked to or disliked.
His focus shifted back to his sister. No. He had to focus on her so that he wouldn't throw up. He could watch as she flawlessly completed every risky procedure before handing it over to other surgeons when the patient was more stable.
He really didn't know how her hands were so stable while operating when his were shaking just from looking at the scene playing out in front of him. He could tell she liked children with the way she treated him. Even if she didn't this sight wouldn't be easy on anyone.
And he knew she was doing the riskiest operations, he could recognise them from the books he had read. She must have so much pressure on her and yet she looked so composed.
He felt like he was seeing his father for the first time again. The first time he saw his father saving the lives of citizens. He felt like he was seeing a hero.
Is that what it took to be a doctor?
Did he even have what it took? While Y/n powered through this situation without panic here he was nauseous just from watching.
But he continued to watch for what seemed to be hours. Because it was. Painful hours as he heard giggles of children echo through the emergency room, somewhere where those sounds should never be heard. It was extremely eerie.
And all through those hours never once did his sister falter. Never once did she stop operating on the children.
He was looking through the smart glass, too distracted to even notice someone sprinting towards him until they grabbed him from behind. He flinched and raised his hand out of instinct.
"Damian. Do you have any idea how worried we were? Why didn't you answer your phone!"
Only then did Damian's arm lowered. He stared at familiar icy blue eyes and black wavy hair.
"Grayson." Damian's tone seemed reserved.
Dick had one of his knees on the ground as he knelt in front of the younger boy, "Let's go home, Damian."
Damian didn't say anything in response, he only turned his head to look in the room that Y/n was in. She looked just as she had hours ago when everything started. He wondered how.
Dick's eyes followed Damian's line of sight, "She'll be fine, Damian. This is her job. She does this everyday."
Damian knew that Dick probably said that to make him feel better but he didn't know much worse that made him feel. Because he knew Dick was right. This was an everyday occurrence in Gotham. And that was horrible.
How many people died each day? How many people had his sister have to resuscitate each day, how many people could have been saved? He was in a family of heroes yet it felt like there was no difference being made.
In fact it felt as though Y/n was doing much more than them despite not being a vigilante.
He let Grayson lead him out of the hospital, his gaze still locked onto his sister who was still working tirelessly. Only when the elevator closed could he finally stop looking in her direction.
It was a quiet drive home. Though it wasn't like that serene quiet he had experienced this morning, it was a heavy silence. Just the sound of the engine could be heard, unlike the songs that Y/n had been blasting on the way to the hospital this morning.
Even when they arrived home it was quiet. His father and Tim were probably in the Batcave handling the aftermath. The others were nowhere to be seen, it was to be expected. This always happened after every major incident.
Only Alfred was there to greet them, "Young masters." Alfred's expression was solemn.
Damian ate his dinner in silence. And that silence continued for the next week of his life. School had been cancelled. For obvious reasons.
It had been nine days since then. He hadn't spoken to anyone, then again the only one who even tried to check in was Dick and his father even if he was extremely awkward about it. And Alfred was already a given. He saw the butler more than anyone else in the manor.
Actually, no. There was one more person. The day after the incident something had appeared on his windowsill. A crocheted black wolf plushy.
The purple heart it had on its cheek instantly gave away who had sent it to him. He didn't really know how it ended up there but he was never going to tell anyone about how that plushy was now bundled up in a blanket hidden away on his bed.
And for nine days he contemplated what he wanted. He poured over the biology books that were in the huge library of the manor. But was it enough?
He grit his teeth and made his decision.
So on the ninth day he finally talked to Alfred. He asked to be driven to the hospital. Alfred only nodded.
There was something that Damian never understood. Alfred obviously respected all of them, but there was something off with the dynamic between Alfred and Y/n.
While he seemed to treat her on the same level as his father she seemed to actively dislike him. Then again he hasn't seen her much to deduce anything for certain.
Not only that but Alfred would address all of them as "Young Master" or "Young Miss", even Dick who was the oldest. So why did he address Y/n as "Mistress Wayne"? Just as he called his father "Master Wayne".
He stopped thinking about it when he reached the desk. Everyone in Gotham knew who Damian was, some personnel had even seen him staring into the operating rooms that day. So he was easily granted access to Y/n's office, though he was informed that she was currently operating on someone.
He saw the staff giving him smiles as he passed by. Huh. He was used to having pitying stares aimed at him. Though he supposes since this is a hospital that was probably discouraged.
As he entered the elevator and tried to press the button to the highest level he realised he had to have a card to do so, he grumbled and was about to ask the lady at the front desk again when a tall black haired man with glasses entered the elevator and scanned his card, pressing the highest level.
Damian had seen this man the other day. He seemed to be one of the higher positioned doctor because he had access to the highest level, not only that but he along with the blonde one, were taking on the riskier patients along with Y/n.
This man had a cold aura to him. No not figuratively he meant it literally. Like the air around him was colder. Though he did look extremely aloof Damian could sense that he was much kinder than he looked.
As the man left the elevator and seemed to enter his own office near Y/n's Damian suddenly felt a cold sensation on his hand. He looked down and saw a small snow...cat? Like a snowman... but cat.
He looked at the closed door of the man's office.
"Doctor Li"
The nameplate showed. Huh. That man was probably at least part Chinese. Ah. When was the last time he spoke Chinese? Ugh. He might be getting rusty if he doesn't practice. You would think having a manor full of multilingual people would mean he got to spoke his other mother tongues. Then again they don't really interact as much anymore.
He held the snowcat tenderly as he entered Y/n's office. Taking in the luxury of it once again. Luxurious but not gaudy.
Then he saw the same red binder he saw on her desk that day that seemed to have a lot of love and care put into it. And it was thick.
His hand hesitated as he reached out for it. I mean she did say he could read through it that day so...
His eyes widened as he flipped through the pages of the binder. It was very clear why she was so skilled in every single type of surgery, because every single page was extremely detailed and held an almost impossible amount of information.
He hasn't even seen anything as thick as this binder back when he was living at The League of Assassins base. And his grandfather used to be a doctor. So that said a lot.
He wondered if there was information in here that even his grandfather doesn't know about. The more pages he saw the more he could believe it.
He spent hours reading through the binder, losing track of time. He hadn't even heard the door opening and jumped when he heard a voice, "I see you're enjoying my notes."
Damian cursed internally, why has his senses been so dull the past few days. He looked up to see Y/n, looking as perfect as ever. But he knew better. She has probably not have a wink of sleep in days, even if you couldn't tell. But a doctor such as Y/n who was in a league of her own? There's no way she gets proper rest.
Damian faked a cough, "Your notes are very detailed."
"Thanks. I spent more than half my life on those so." She had a lazy smirk on her face.
Damian looked at her with a questioning look, "What?"
"Yeah. I started getting into basic medicine when I was eight." She looked at the red binder fondly, "My friend was very... accident prone."
Damian stared at the binder, he never would've guessed that she had started this binder at just eight years old. The word prodigy seemed to be an understatement when describing her. His fists unknowingly clenched.
"Ah. Zayne must've given it to you."
Her voice made him look back up at her, "Zayne?"
She pointed at the snowcat that was somehow still frozen, "Zayne might look icy on the outside, literally, but he's actually a real softie."
Damian looked at the snowcat again, "How is it still frozen—"
"Damian."
The boy paused, his focus now completely drawn away from the snowcat. Y/n had never said his first name before. Ever.
"Are you okay?"
"What? Of course I'm—"
"Damian. You're a smart kid." Y/n had contemplated not mentioning anything. All children are different, some would rather not talk about bad things that they have experienced, others needed to vent it out to feel better. Or they could be both at the same time. Her years as camp councilor have taught her that.
She had been the one who allowed him to watch everything that happened that day, so she is responsible for that. It wouldn't be right to gloss it over like that and try to distract him, not with a kid like Damian. "I'm sorry you had to see that. It's my fault."
Damian scoffed, trying to hide his real expression as he turned his head, "I'm the one that insisted on following."
"Yes. But I'm the one who allowed you to witness that. And—" She stopped him from refuting, "I know you don't want to be treated like a child. And that's fair. You're going to be a teen soon."
"But compared to me you're still young. And I'm the adult in this situation, so yes, it was wrong for me to bring you there. And it was my fault, not yours." She looked straight into his green eyes that almost seemed unnaturally bright.
"I want to know how you feel." She watched as he looked down at his hands.
Huh. When was the last time someone said that to him? Feelings? The League taught him that feelings were useless for someone like him. And it wasn't like the people in the manor were that great at expressing their emotions in a healthy way either.
Is that why he doesn't know how he's feeling?
Y/n waited patiently as the boy stayed quiet, "Take your time. If you don't know what it is try to describe it to me."
"It was bad."
Y/n listened quietly.
"I felt so bad. When I saw Doctor Di Angelo going through multiple rooms it was nauseating. I didn't talk to them, I didn't even like them. But they were my age. They were young." Damian hands clenched even harder, his nails digging into his own skin.
"They had dreams too! They had their whole life ahead of them so why—" He never understood it. Even if The League had engraved into his soul that killing was just part of their nature he never understood why.
Y/n had one knee on the floor as she knelt in front of him, using her own hands to ensure that his nails didn't make himself bleed.
"Why is it so unfair! Why are the innocent people the ones who die?"
Y/n spoke quietly, "You're right. Life is unfair. Everyone in this world eventually dies, Damian. That's also a part of life. Death doesn't discriminate against the sinners and the saints. It just takes and takes."
She took a breath in.
"Do you know why I decided to be a doctor?"
Damian looked up from his hands into her eyes, they were the same type of blue as their father's and yet he didn't know why they looked so different.
"Because I refuse to let death take my loved ones before their time is due."
Damian froze.
"I would never wish for my loved ones to be immortal. That's a fate far too cruel for them. But I want them to live a life with no regrets, that they'll be able to leave peacefully saying that they have indeed lived, that they have accomplished all they wanted to. That they lived their life to the fullest."
"Because in a world full of destruction, I choose to create."
Those words. He had never told anyone why he wanted to be a doctor, in fact he thinks the only ones who knows is Y/n and Alfred. Dick only thought that he was at the hospital because he wanted to pester Y/n.
But the real reason? He had found their grandfather's journal. And in the journal Thomas Wayne has detailed about how he wished that his legacy will be passed on.
Of course Damian wanted to be a part of the Wayne legacy, and at first that was just being a vigilante. Then he found the journals. It only started as a want to feel belonged, but as he continued to read something changed.
He noticed how different his paternal grandfather was compared to his maternal grandfather. Ra's raised him to be a killer, to incite violence. While Thomas wanted to heal.
No. Thomas Wayne didn't just want to heal, he said he wanted to build. He wanted to build a different path for Gotham.
And as time went on Damian realised so did he. It wasn't just for legacy's sake. He didn't want to be tied to violence, to be who he was raised to be by The League.
And those words. It really did make sense that Y/n was a Wayne. Because her words seemed as though it would've came straight out of their shared grandfather's mouth.
And... He wants to be like that too.
She looked into his eyes and he could see the sincerity in them, "So, do you really want to be doctor?"
Damian took a deep breath in before answering, "I'll try my best."
A smile formed on her lips, "That's all that matters."
Hey guys... It's been a while. Erh. I just get random spurts of motivation so like yeah... You can thank my current PJO hyperfixation for this fic. I wasn't actually planning on traumatising Damian but like he's already traumatised so what's a bit more? It builds character heh. This chapter turned out much longer than I expected so next chapter will prob be shorter. I have a prologue chapter about 60% done so you can look forward to that if I don't disappear for half a year again LOL Also I reached flowstate and wrote the last 3.5k words in the past 4 hours and it's 5AM currently so it's not rlly proofread. To anybody expecting Death Of A Star chapter 2 I apologise because I have zero idea what direction I even want to go to with that story but like it'll come out... eventually :)
